It’s a joke. A tease. But damn, I want to lean in and kiss that smirk off his lips to convey how much he doesn’t need to get me drunk.
Instead, I clear my throat and grab another glass. “Haven’t had so much alcohol in forever. You’re a bad influence.”
Still flirty, Fei gives me a wink. “Been that way since my voice broke, baby. Dax’s parents definitely would’ve thought so if they’d ever known about me.”
“Let’s not mention him,” I say, groaning. The beer is making me a little loose with my words. “Don’t really wanna keep flaring up with jealousy every time you bring him up.” Which hasn’t been that often. But still. I don’t want to think about him and Dax. Daxton Hutch, who got to have Fei in ways I’ll never have him.
“Oh?” He blinks, eyes narrowed, and I realize I shouldn’t have said that out loud. Didn’t really mean to say it.
But since I’ve already said it, might as well keep talking? “Was jealous of him then, too. Dunno if it’s because you were the only out gay guy I knew. But after… I thought about you. A lot.”
Fei doesn’t ask me “after what?” because we both know he already gets it. His eyes go kind of soft and his hand moves on the table like he’s going to reach out and touch me, but it doesn’t get that far.
“I think teenage me would’ve spontaneously combusted if he knew you thought about him. ‘A lot.’” A beat of silence, and then he says, all guileless curiosity, “What did you think about?”
I shrug. “Thought about what it’d be like to be out like that. Not that I wanted to dye my hair purple and start wearing eyeliner and earrings or anything. But… I was jealous. I wanted to be out and proud too. I’d just realized I was gay, and it was such a relief. Finally I knew why girls never worked for me. At the same time, I was scared. Ashamed, even though I knew there was nothing to be ashamed of.”
“It’s difficult growing up where we did,” Fei says. “I was out and proud, but it wasn’t easy.” He gives me a wry smile. “Trust me, you didn’t miss much.”
I missed getting to know you. Missed out on that.
“You were brave. Letting yourself stand out like that. Even before I realized I was gay myself, I admired you for that.” Always admired you, before I even realized what it meant.
Fei chuckles. “Dude, it’s not like I had a choice. I was gonna stand out anyway. Chinese kid in a school full of white kids? Video game geek and math nerd? So why the hell not have some fun, too?”
“Makes sense.” I think about all the times I caught sight of Fei in the halls, through an open classroom door, across a crowded gym. Whether he was being commended for winning Math Team regionals or braiding a friend’s technicolor hair, or huddled in a corner playing a handheld game… He always did stand out. “It wasn’t only jealousy. When I thought about you.”
Fei’s eyes stare unblinkingly at me, dark and liquid. “Yeah?”
“Seeing you with him… That was when I realized I was gay. Because I wanted you. And after, I watched you. And I wanted you even more. So much that I… Fei, you were the first guy I ever wanted like that.”
Chapter Six
Fei
For a moment, Cary’s words don’t register to my brain. Then they do, and my breath swells in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe through the emotions I feel.
Cary wanted me. Watched me. I’m the first guy he ever wanted. God, how is this even real life?
“That’s weird, right?” he mutters when I don’t say anything in reply. “I’ve put you on the spot. First practically forcing you to kiss me, and then—”
This makes me laugh. “Cary, you didn’t force me to kiss you. Have you seen you? And setting your gorgeousness aside? That was a fantastic kiss.” An unforgettable, unregrettable, fucking mind-melting kiss. A kiss I want again, even though I shouldn’t.
But there’s a smile lifting the corners of his mouth, so hopeful and relieved. “You liked it?” he asks.
“I loved it.”
The smile is a full-blown grin now. He leans in across the table. “Want to kiss you again.”
So sweet, and so fucking earnest. There are so many reasons I shouldn’t be doing this. Least of which is I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again. Kissing a client is one thing. Falling for a client, like I’m already doing with Cary, is a whole other thing. He’s leaving soon. He might not even get that job he’s here to apply for and he’ll leave for who knows how long regardless.
Cary’s smile falters. Something in my expression must clue him in to my reluctance. “I guess that’s a no?” He’s disappointed, leaning back as though he’s already been rebuffed. And I can’t reject him. Not when I want this just as badly as he does.
“Fuck it,” I mutter. I see the waiter loitering behind us and catch his attention with small nod of my head. Then I focus my attention back on Cary. “Let’s pay. I’m taking you back to my place.”
“Your place?” He’s got this adorably clueless expression on his face that makes me want to pull him in and kiss him right here in broad daylight, in a crowded restaurant. It takes all of my fast-departing self-control to hold back.
“Yeah, my place. It’s closer than the hotel. And I can kiss you there as many times as I want without scandalizing any restaurant patrons.”
“All right,” he replies, his voice a low growl that heats me up from the inside. He pulls his wallet out and shoves it at the waiter.
When we’ve paid, we beat a hasty retreat to the car, where we both strap ourselves in without speaking. I don’t pull Cary in for a kiss; I won’t be able to stop if I do right now. No, I need him alone. He must feel the same way, because he barely even looks at me, his eyes fixed on the windshield as we drive to my apartment.
The ride up in the elevator feels like the longest one I’ve ever had. The air is thick with anticipation. I feel it like something tangible on my skin, making me feel hot all over. We’re both half-hard, and I have to resist the urge to palm my erection through my shorts right there in the elevator.
“This place is pretty close to the hotel,” Cary comments dryly as I fumble with my keys. My hands are unsteady. “Surprised you were worried about the traffic last night.”
“Yeah, I might’ve lied about that.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I say, slipping the key into the slot at last and pushing the door open, “I was trying to resist the urge to push my way into your hotel room and molest your drunk ass.” Might as well be truthful.
“My drunk ass wouldn’t have minded.” Said with a shy smile, goddamn. Heat zings up my spine. An entire morning of flirting and confessions and Cary wet and half-naked have taken their toll on me, and I’m too weak to resist. Don’t want to resist. I push Cary against the door, slip my hand over the back of his neck, and pull him in for a kiss. It’s open-mouthed, hot and wet, and he groans into the kiss, his hands landing on my hips to drag me closer.
“God, your mouth,” Cary moans when we break apart to catch our breath. He nips at my lower lip, runs his tongue along the inside of it until I meet it with mine in a hot, wet slide.
“You like my mouth?”
“Love it,” he says, rocking against me. Our height difference means I can feel how hard he is against my stomach, and god, I want him.
“Yeah? Want it on your cock?”
“Christ, Fei.” There’s a whole lot of want in his eyes, but there’s hesitation there too, like he’s not sure what answer is the right one.
Maybe this is too fast for him? Maybe fucking is more of a fourth or fifth date kind of thing for Cary. God knows it’s not really a second date thing for me either. But fuck, I want this so damn much. And we don’t have time. We can’t do anything other than rush this, not when we have mere days left of Cary in my life.
“No slowing down,” I pant against his mouth. I tilt my head and lick his neck, tasting the salt on his skin as I drag his shirt up and off. He doesn’t resist, lifting his arms to help me, and I groan at the sight of him laid b
are for me, nipples hard and skin flushed with arousal. “Can’t slow down. Want you. Want to swallow you whole.”
More desperate kisses, Cary’s hands all over me, fingertips roaming across my back as we devour each other with tongues and lips and teeth.
Please don’t say no.
“Yes,” Cary says. “Don’t want to slow down either. Please.”
I lead him to the sofa and throw myself onto it, hooking my fingers under the waistband of his shorts to pull him closer. With him still standing, my face is level with his crotch. I nuzzle his erection through the fabric, then open my mouth to kiss the head. Finally, I tug his shorts all the way down, letting him kick them off. His cock springs up, thick and long and so fucking perfect.
“Shit, you’ve got a beautiful cock.” I stroke him with one hand as I grab one of his asscheeks with the other and pull him in further. “Can I taste you just like this?” I circle my thumb over his cockhead, swiping away a drop of precum that’s welled at the tip.
“Y-yes. I’m good. You’re good.” He thrusts experimentally, and I meet him with my mouth, running my tongue up the underside, from the shaft all the way to the tip. I flick my tongue over his slit, teasing more fluid to the surface. He tastes salty from being in the water this morning, and there’s a faint hint of sweat there too, but it’s far from unpleasant. I dive in, taking his length into my mouth in one long, slick slide.
“Fei. Oh, god.”
I moan in response, sinking my mouth down onto his dick and easing back, making my lips tight around him. I’ve always enjoyed sucking cock, loving the thrill of having another guy at my mercy, taking such a vulnerable part of someone into me and blowing them out of their minds. With Cary, it’s even better than it usually is, because he’s looking down at me like I’m a fucking saint, his eyes glazed and adoring.
One of his hands lands on my shoulder to steady himself, and the other hand smooths over my cheek. The touch is tender and soft; it makes me close my eyes for a moment as emotion overwhelms me. Fuck, what is it with this guy?
“God, you do really want it, don’t you?” he rasps, the tip of his finger gliding over the edge of my mouth.
I pull off, laughing. “Don’t think I could be any fucking clearer,” I say, voice hoarse. “Come on. Wanna taste your cum.” I swallow him again, loving the gasps and groans that escape him as he makes tentative thrusts into my mouth.
“Not going to last. God, Fei. Never thought I’d get to have you.” He says the words reverently, with awe in his voice.
Never thought I’d have you either. Have this. Not a rough, sloppy blowjob in a smelly locker room, but this, Cary in my home, his hand caressing my face like I’m something precious, warmth and happiness shining in his eyes.
He really doesn’t last long. Just a few more thrusts into my mouth, and then he’s coming, a choked cry ripping from his throat, his hand clenching on my shoulder, but his other hand still soft, stroking over my cheek.
“Oh my god,” Cary says thickly, spent and breathing hard.
I grin cheekily up at him, licking my lips, still chasing the taste of his cum. “Good, right?”
He huffs out a laugh. It rolls through me like a good song, lighting my nerves up. “Amazing. You’re amazing. Make me weak in the knees, I came so hard.” He touches his fingers to my lips, groaning when I kiss and lick each fingertip. “Your mouth’s all red and swollen.”
“Mmm,” I hum. “That’s what tends to happen when you suck cock like a champ. It’s not the only part of me that’s swollen.” I nod down at my cock, still straining against the front of my board shorts.
Cary’s eyes burn, and he sways forward, hand outstretched.
“Nope, not here.” I manage, with superhuman effort, to haul myself up. “Bed. There’re still a lot of things I want to do to you, and we’re gonna need a bed for most of them, as big as you are.”
We’ve gotten to my room and Cary is already looking around, his face curious, before I remember my room isn’t exactly in an invite-a-guy-over state. Various video games take up a huge shelf on one wall, and another wall is occupied by the desk where I’ve got my gaming setup sharing space with a crowd of figurines from my favorite video games and anime. A basket of unfolded clothes sits in one corner. On the ground by the foot of my bed is the outfit I wore last night, left where I’d stripped it off in a hurry to get to sleep after spending hours watching TV with Bridge.
“Sorry, it’s a mess in here.” I’m cringing inwardly, but Cary just shrugs, still looking around.
“It’s cool. You’re all polished and ripped, it’s kind of reassuring to see your room is just a typical dude’s room. Plus... “ He gestures at the wall of games. “It reminds me of you back then. You always had something going on.” He smiles, bright and full of sincerity. “It’s nice. I like it.”
Just when I think he can’t affect me more, he goes and says something that practically owns me.
“I’m not as ripped as you,” I say, gaze roaming over his naked body, all sleek golden hair and muscles. “C’mere.”
I take off my shirt, then step out of my shorts, palming my aching cock as I pull him toward the bed. We kiss, tongues tangling, breaths coming in gasps. I rub shamelessly against him, my cock weeping precum on his thigh as we roll in bed until he’s on top. He’s already getting hard again, and I cup his asscheeks and haul him forward. I love the feel of skin against naked skin, nothing between us but air, and not even very much of that.
“Gonna get hard again for me?” I ask him. “Want to feel you inside me. Want to come around your cock.”
Cary’s breath stutters, hips stilling briefly as he curses through grit teeth. “Fuck. Getting there.”
“Yeah. Can’t wait. Sucking you got me ready to blow it. Gonna have to go again if I come too quickly. Want to get me off twice?”
“Get you off as many times as you want it. Whatever you want.”
“Whatever?” I squeeze one asscheek, then let my finger trail along the crack, tapping over his hole. I’m just trying to mess with him, play a little, but he reacts by lifting his ass, pressing against my finger. Oh, man. “What if I want this? Your hot, tight ass wrapped around me?”
Cary moans, rutting against me, his precum smearing across my stomach. “Yes. Anything. Want you. Your ass. Your cock. God, that mouth again.”
“So fucking hot,” I mutter, nipping at his neck. I want to suck and bite until I leave a mark there, but I know I shouldn’t. Not where someone could see. He has a job interview on Monday. “C’mon, baby. Flip for me. I’ve got an idea.”
“Nngh?” He does as I say, and I reach in the nightstand for condoms and lube. I roll a condom on me. Then I slick up my cock, giving it a few quick strokes before releasing.
“Gonna put this in you,” I tell him. “Want to come fucking you, but then I want you to do me.” I lean forward, licking into his mouth, loving how he responds to me, yielding to the intrusion like he’s starving for my kisses. I whisper against his lips: “Nothing gets me up for round two faster than a thick cock pounding my prostate.”
Cary’s eyes fall shut, his head tilting back against the pillows, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “Do it. Put it in me.” He fists his cock, squeezing around the base, and spreads his legs wide for me, exposing his hole.
Kneeling closer, I pour more lube over my fingers. The first one slips in easily as Cary bears down and pushes back against it. Fuck. So hot and slick.
“More,” he pants. “I can take it. Not gonna hurt me.
More.”
Complying with his command, I pull out and replace my finger with two, scissoring them carefully and feeling his ass relax against the intrusion. I curl my fingers and reach; Cary bucks his hips and cries out when I brush the spot inside him, so I do it again, and again, until he’s moaning and writhing on my fingers.
“Fei, please,” he begs. “Driving me crazy.”
I laugh shakily. “That’s kind of the point. But shhh. Almost, baby. Just want to
stretch you a little bit more.”
“Tease.”
Another laugh. “Always. God, you have no idea how hot you are, pushing back against my fingers like you’re hungry for it.”
“Am. Want it. Please, Fei.”
I groan, control dissolving like mist in the face of Cary Jackson, this huge-ass former football star, successful marketing exec, Cary, begging me to fuck him. Never going to stop loving how he says my name, like it’s the only one that’s ever passed his lips.
Pulling my fingers out and wiping the excess lube off on the bedspread, I grasp my sheathed cock and rub it against his stretched opening. “Ready for me?”
Cary nods, rocking up, nudging my cock against his hole.
“Fuck, gonna lose it in no time,” I rasp, pressing forward slowly. A part of me aches to take him fast and hard, slide deep into that tight heat all the way to the hilt. I don’t want to hurt him, though. I want to cherish him. Make him fly.
So I go slow, inch by desperate inch, listening to the soft whimpers and sighs he doesn’t even try to keep inside. His fist shakes as it curls tight around him, like he has to hold onto something to keep from breaking apart. It’s how I feel too, the sensation overwhelming and not enough all at once.
“God, you’re in so deep,” he whispers when I’m fully seated. “Feels good.”
“Mmm, for me too. Can’t wait to come with you wrapped around me, milking my cock.”
He moans, ass clenching briefly, eliciting a gasp from me. “Christ, Fei. Filthy, lovely mouth.”
He sighs the words like an endearment, all soft and sweet. I grin, gripping his thighs and pulling back, then easing into him again in a tentative thrust. We both gasp at the sensation, and Cary’s cock visibly twitches in his grip. Damn, that’s hot.
I let out an uncharacteristic growl and thrust into him again, a little harder this time, watching his face for signs of discomfort. There aren’t any, and it’s not long before I pick up the pace, angling my thrusts to hit his prostate. He moans loud and uninhibited, lifting his hips to meet me thrust for thrust.
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