by Julia Quinn
He thought Belle was going to fall off the sofa.
“That won’t be necessary, your grace,” Emma said stiffly.
“But—”
“I said it won’t be necessary!” she burst out. Then, realizing that everyone was looking at her most oddly, she added, “I have a bit of a sniffle.” She sniffed a bit to demonstrate but of course sounded perfectly clear. Smiling weakly, she folded her hands in her lap and resolved to say nothing else.
Sophie leapt into the silence. “Er, Belle,” she said awkwardly. “Why don’t you take one of the kittens back with you? I have no idea what we’ll do with the lot of them.”
“I doubt that my mother will agree,” Belle replied. “The last cat was an unmitigated disaster. It had a bit of a flea problem, you see.”
“I don’t think our kittens have been alive long enough to have gotten fleas,” Sophie mused.
“Nonetheless, I imagine my mother will feel quite strongly about it.”
“What will I feel quite strongly about?” Caroline asked loudly from the doorway.
“Sophie is trying to convince us to take home one of Cleopatra’s kittens,” Belle explained.
“Heavens, no!” Caroline replied emphatically. “You may have one out in the country but never again in London.” She entered the room, nodding her hello to Alex and then took a seat near Emma, Belle, and Sophie. Henry, who had followed her downstairs, took one look at the collection of women in the corner and headed straight over to Alex.
“Whiskey?” Alex inquired, holding up his glass.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Henry replied affably, raising a hand to stop Alex from getting up. He quickly crossed the room, poured himself a drink, and returned to Alex’s side. “I have a feeling we’ll need these this evening,” he remarked.
“Strangely enough, that’s exactly what your daughter said not five minutes earlier.”
“How was your ride this afternoon, my dear?” Caroline asked Emma, loudly enough for all to hear.
“It was very nice, thank you.”
Alex thought her reply was very weak, indeed. “I had a brilliant time,” he boomed.
“I am sure you did,” Emma said, mostly to herself, trying to forget it had been she who had cried out in pleasure that afternoon, not Alex.
“Did you say something, my dear?” Caroline asked solicitously.
“No, no I didn’t. I was just—er—clearing my throat.”
“You seem to do that quite often.” Alex couldn’t resist Emma’s obvious distress, so he crossed the room and took the seat next to Caroline. Henry followed in his wake. “Or at least you do while in my presence.”
Emma glared at Alex so ferociously that Sophie could not help murmuring a soft, “Oh my!”
Alex sipped his whiskey serenely, appearing completely unaffected by Emma’s ire.
Which, of course, only served to make her even more irate.
At that point, Alex cracked a smile.
“Well!” Caroline declared, only to break the silence. Much to her dismay, however, everybody immediately stared at her and then she had to say something more. “Do tell us more about your afternoon, Emma dear.” It seemed to be a popular topic.
“Well, actually—” Emma started, her irritation beginning to get the better of her.
Belle’s foot slammed into her shin. Emma gulped with pain, smiled weakly, and replied, “It was lovely, thank you.”
Silence fell again, and this time nobody, not even Caroline, was brave enough to break it.
Emma stared down at her lap, her fingers idly plucking at her skirts. She could feel Alex’s eyes resting on her, and much as she tried, she could not summon the courage to meet his gaze. As she sat in stony silence, she had to admit that it was herself with whom she was angry, not Alex.
She knew that she was intensely attracted to Alex. But to admit that fact to the gentleman in question somehow seemed to go against every tenet of her upbringing, and it was difficult to turn her back on the set of morals that her father and her aunt and uncle had instilled in her. She was in a fine mess now, wanting him so badly and knowing that she shouldn’t allow herself to have him. She could justify her desire by the fact that she loved him, but she somehow had to find the willpower to stop herself from acting on that desire.
It would all be different if he loved her even just a tiny bit as much as she loved him.
Or, Emma thought despondently, if he merely proposed. Marriage to Alex without mutual love was preferable to not having him at all. She looked over at him. He had gone back to examining his fingernails and did not look even remotely like a man who was about to ask a woman to marry him. Emma swallowed and sank back further into the sofa.
“Goodness! It sounds as if we’ve had a funeral in here. Have you all lost your powers of speech?” Eugenia stood in the doorway of the drawing room, clad in an elegant gown of green silk.
“Actually, Mother, I think everyone is somewhat afraid to open his—or her—mouth.” Alex smiled widely at his mother as he rose to give her an affectionate kiss on the cheek.
Eugenia looked at her son accusingly. “You haven’t been brutalizing our guests, have you?”
“Only me,” Emma chirped bravely, causing her aunt to shoot her a remonstrating look.
Alex chuckled, delighted at Emma’s barb. “Perhaps I could escort you to supper, Miss Dunster,” he said graciously, walking over to her and extending his arm.
“Of course,” Emma murmured. What else could she do with such an avid group of onlookers? Smiling prettily at her audience, she rose and tried to take a step toward the door, but Alex’s iron grip held her firmly in place.
“I believe we’ll bring up the rear,” he stated, a little too obviously.
“If none of you mind,” Emma hastened to add, feeling her cheeks pinken.
“Oh no, we don’t mind at all,” Eugenia exclaimed, practically hauling her daughter out of the room.
Within seconds the room had been vacated.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again!” Emma burst out, wrenching herself from his grasp.
“Do what?” he asked innocently.
“I trust your stay has been pleasurable, Emma,” she mimicked, imitating his tone perfectly.
“Oh, come now, Emma. You cannot begrudge me a bit of fun.”
“Not at my expense. I was mortified.”
“Don’t be so angry, love. You know I was only teasing you.”
“I know no such thing. It seemed to me that you were merely having a bit of revenge because you didn’t get what you wanted this afternoon.”
Unable to bear the broken look in her eyes, Alex took her by the shoulders and pulled her against him. “Oh, darling, I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I never meant to make you feel that way. Believe me, I got exactly what I wanted this afternoon.”
“But—”
“Hush.” He placed his forefinger on her lips. “All I wanted was to make you happy, and it seems all I’ve managed is to make you sad. I was teasing you just now because if I can’t have happy, then angry at least is better than sad.”
“Well, I’d prefer you didn’t resort to such tactics again,” she mumbled into his chest.
Alex dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I promise. Now then…” He searched for a new topic. “Have you ever seen a room empty out so quickly? It seems that I was not the only one desirous of a private meeting between the two of us. I’d be willing to wager that my mother made it to the dining room in under ten seconds.”
“I’ve certainly never seen my aunt move so quickly before,” Emma returned with a wobbly smile. “And I thought Uncle Henry was going to take Belle by her hair.”
“Funny, but I’d have thought him above this.”
“You must be joking. Aunt Caroline can be quite formidable when she’s in a temper. He wouldn’t want to provoke her. He’s much too fond of his peaceful existence. Besides, everyone is most anxious to see me settled. Not,” Emma said quickly, “that we—I have any plans to set
tle down soon. I have a business to run back in Boston, you know.” She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach even as she spoke the words. Hadn’t she just decided that Alex was far more important to her than Dunster Shipping? “You shouldn’t allow yourself to feel pressured, you know.”
Alex looked down at her with a strange expression on his face.
“Although I imagine one would find it difficult to pressure you into anything,” Emma continued, looking slightly forlorn.
Alex smiled wryly, wondering how much pressure would actually be required at this point to get him to settle down. “Are you feeling better?” he asked simply.
Emma kept her eyes downcast. “I made quite a spectacle of myself, didn’t I?”
“To which spectacle are you referring?”
She blushed at his obvious reference to her passionate behavior. “Actually, I was referring to my rather acute embarrassment after the fact.” She paused, forcing herself to look into his eyes. “I think I overreacted,” she said softly. “I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t upset you.”
She looked up at him, her violet eyes wide with trust. At that moment, something inside Alex melted. He couldn’t believe that she was apologizing to him for her embarrassment over their lovemaking earlier that afternoon. Proper young ladies were taught that any kind of premarital intimacy was akin to eternal damnation, and now that Alex no longer felt as if his body were about to explode, he was really quite impressed that Emma hadn’t taken to her bed for a week.
“It’s quite natural to feel confused by a new experience,” he said, feeling that he ought to say something to comfort her.
“Thank you for being so understanding,” Emma said, a faint smile touching her features. “Although I do think it would be wise if we restrained ourselves for the time being.” At Alex’s raised eyebrow, she explained, “I really cannot describe how awful I felt this afternoon.”
“Guilt?”
“That, and confusion, too.” Emma turned away and idly examined a small clock that sat on an end table. She was proud of herself for being so honest with Alex, but all the same, such plain speaking was somewhat disconcerting.
“I wish you wouldn’t feel that way.”
“I wish I wouldn’t, too,” Emma replied, still directing her words to the clock. “But I’m afraid that I can’t control my emotions very well, and I would rather avoid the state of turmoil I was in earlier today.”
“Emma?” And then when she didn’t respond, Alex said it louder. “Emma?”
Emma turned around quickly, her bright hair settling about her face in soft waves.
Alex touched his fingers to her chin, tilting her face upward so that he could peer into the soft violet depths of her eyes. “I’m still going to try to kiss you, you know.”
“I know.”
He leaned in closer. “On every possible occasion.”
“I know.”
His lips were nearly touching hers. “I’m going to try right now.”
Emma sighed, caught in the sensual web of his voice. “I know.”
“Are you going to stop me?” he murmured against her mouth.
“No.” Emma’s soft reply was lost as Alex’s mouth slanted over hers. Heat poured from his lips, and Emma simply closed her eyes, losing herself in the warmth of the moment.
Alex was painfully aware that he and Emma had precious few moments together. He really would not put it past his mother to come barging into the parlor, declare Emma ravished at the sight of one kiss, and demand that he marry her on the spot. With a groan, he tore himself away from her and took a deep breath.
“This is going to be a long weekend,” he muttered, still holding her chin in his hand.
“Yes, I know,” Emma said in a very strange voice.
A light smile touched Alex’s face as he looked over at Emma. She seemed to be caught in a daze, and her eyes were fixed on a point slightly to the left of Alex’s elbow.
“I would love to know what is going through your mind right now,” Alex said softly, brushing a wisp of hair off of Emma’s forehead.
Emma shook her head slightly as she tried to refocus her eyes. “What?” She blinked a few times. “Do you promise not to laugh?”
“I promise nothing of the kind.”
Emma blinked a few more times at that unexpected reply, and then she gazed up at his face. He was smiling at her in a rather indulgent fashion, and his green eyes glowed with the warm promise of love. “Well, I suppose I might tell you anyway,” she said softly. “I was thinking that…well, that is I was wondering…”
“Yes?”
“Actually, I was wondering how on earth I managed to remain standing when you kissed me just now.” An embarrassed smile crossed Emma’s features, and she looked downward, where her foot was tracing half circles in the carpet. “I felt as if I were melting.”
Alex felt something unfamiliar flicker inside him, and there was no way he could deny the comforting warmth that suddenly suffused his body. He leaned over and briefly brushed his lips against hers. “You cannot imagine how happy I am to hear you say that.”
Emma was still running her slippered foot along the carpet, absurdly pleased at his words and unable to keep a wide smile off her face. “Perhaps you could take my arm and escort me to dinner?”
“I think that could be arranged.”
When Emma and Alex arrived in the dining room, their families were already seated around the long oak table. Because their party only numbered seven, Eugenia, preferring good conversation to formality, had seated everyone toward the head of the table, leaving the other end empty.
“I took the liberty of sitting at the head of the table,” Eugenia announced. “I know that propriety dictates that you sit here, Alex, but we are an informal group, and I must admit, it prickles my pride to give up my seat to my son.”
Alex raised an eyebrow as he held out a chair for Emma, shooting his mother a look that said that he did not believe a word that flew out of her mouth.
“Besides, I rather thought that you and Emma would want to sit next to each other.”
“As usual, you are very astute, Mother.”
Eugenia’s smile didn’t waver one bit. She turned to Emma, summarily dismissing her son. “Did you have a nice time this afternoon, my dear? Caroline tells me that you love to ride.”
Emma smiled indulgently as she sat down between Belle and the empty seat that was reserved for Alex. Eugenia was the third person that evening to ask that question. The fourth, if she counted Belle, who had been a bit more direct. “I had a lovely time, thank you. Alex was a most gracious escort.”
Belle started to cough. Emma shot her a withering glare and gave her a swift kick under the table.
“Really?” Eugenia breathed, enthralled by the scene taking place down the table. “Just how ‘gracious’ was he?”
This time it was Sophie who did the kicking, and her foot connected soundly with her mother’s shin.
“I was extremely gracious, Mother,” Alex said in a tone that put an end to the entire subject.
Just then Caroline let out a little yelp as Henry kicked her in the shin. “Henry!” she demanded in hushed tones. “What on earth was that for?”
“Actually, darling,” he murmured, gazing warmly into her eyes. “I was feeling left out.”
Chapter 14
The next morning Emma found that love had another symptom: she couldn’t eat. Or rather, she couldn’t eat in front of Alex. She didn’t seem to have any trouble at all when he wasn’t in the room.
When she arrived downstairs for breakfast, Sophie, Eugenia, and Belle were already eating. Emma was famished, and she sat down, ready to devour what looked like a scrumptious omelet.
Then Alex arrived.
Emma’s stomach began to flutter as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. She couldn’t manage to get down a bite.
“Is the omelet not to your liking?” Eugenia asked.
“I’m not very hungry,” Emma replied quickly. “But it’s delicious
, thank you.”
Alex, who had strategically positioned himself right next to her, leaned over and whispered, “I can’t imagine how you would know since you haven’t tried a bite.”
She smiled wanly and put a forkful in her mouth. It tasted like sawdust. She looked over at Eugenia. “Perhaps just some tea.”
By lunchtime Emma thought she might perish from hunger. Alex had had to take care of some estate business, so she and Belle had spent the morning exploring the house. When they arrived in the informal dining room, her heart sank when she realized that he wasn’t there.
Her stomach, however, rejoiced.
She quickly downed a plate of roast turkey and potatoes, fearful that he would arrive any minute. After she had finished a generous helping of peas and asparagus, she thought to ask Eugenia about his whereabouts.
“Well, I was hoping he’d join us,” his mother replied. “But he had to go out to the northwest corner of the estate to inspect the damage from last week’s rainstorm.”
“Is it very far?” Emma asked. Perhaps she could join him.
“Over an hour’s ride, I should think.”
“I see.” She hadn’t realized that Alex’s landholdings were quite that vast. “Well, in that case I’ll just have some of those lovely meringues.”
Emma decided with a sigh that it was most likely all for the best that he’d been called away. If he had spent every minute by her side (which she had a feeling was his original intention), she’d probably have wasted away by the time she got back to London.
But she couldn’t deny the fact that, despite the disturbance Alex caused her, she longed for his company every minute he was gone. She went for a ride through the countryside, but she didn’t enjoy herself because Alex wasn’t there to race her to the apple tree she came across a couple of miles east of Westonbirt. And then he wasn’t around to tease her when she deftly climbed the tree or to compliment her aim when she launched one of the apples into the air, pegged a weak branch, and sent five more apples tumbling down. She gave the fruit to Charlie when she returned, and he was so happy about the prospect of fresh apple tarts that he felt compelled to race up and down the stairs six times. His exuberance was infectious, but it just didn’t lift her spirits like one of Alex’s smiles. Emma doubted that anything could.