“Ah, no!” Joshua said to himself, this time it was out loud. The Maori skidded to a sudden halt and looked back and forth between the two groups of flesh eaters. The zombies in front of him were growling and screaming. Jaws gnashing as they sped toward him. A couple of them tripped and fell, causing others to stumble and fall. Thankfully, this thinned their ranks for a quick minute or two. Joshua glanced behind him and saw the other group was smaller and moving slower than the runners. They probably would be his best bet at surviving this whole bloody cock up.
“Fuck it!” He said, turning to the zombies behind him. Gripping the baton tightly and screaming loudly, he ran full speed at the staggering dead.
ZOMBIE NEIL FINN
Cockatoo Island
“No way!” Ben shouted, as he stared at the slobbering zombie that stood in front of him, jaws snapping in hungry anticipation. Anastasia was positioned behind him holding a broken piece of two by four she’d pulled from the broken deck of the island restaurant.
“Hit him, Ben!” Anastasia held the chunk of wood in her hands, ready to smash the dead man over the head. The zombie stood eyeing the two as bloody, black drool dribbled down its crimson splashed cheeks. The undead creature seemed to be trying to make up its mind on which of them to attack first.
“That is Neil Finn!” Ben said, pointing the blood and rust encrusted rebar at him. The zombie just let out a loud moan and rolled its eyes as if annoyed.
“I don’t care if it’s bloody Chris Hemsworth! Smash him! He’s gonna eat us if ya don’t!”
“But my Grandad loves this guy!” Ben said, still waving the rebar in the former Crowded House frontman's slobbering face. “I can’t kill him. I do karaoke with my Pops to ‘Our House’. How am I ever gonna do that again if I kill him? Grandad would never forgive me.”
“He’s dead!” Anastasia stepped forward and swung the board at zombie Neil Finn's head. The board struck the zombie in the shoulder pushing him back a bit. The undead eighties singer clumsily batted away her improvised weapon and continued its staggered walk towards the two hot lunches. Anastasia, annoyed and angry, put all she had into it and swung the board at the approaching flesh eater. The heavy wood connected with a loud thunk, against the singer’s jaw and knocked him off his feet and onto his back. While Ben just stood dumbstruck watching the eighties singer struggle to get back onto its feet, Anastasia stepped over to where the reanimated corpse lay. While the foul-smelling thing attempted to stand up, Anastasia let out a primal scream and smashed his head in with the two by four. Zombie Neil Finn let out a melodic groan then fell sideways on the sand, the board sticking through the other side of his head. Blood and grey brain matter leaked out from inside the remains of his damaged skull.
“You good?” Anastasia asked, as she took a deep breath then jerked the bloody piece of wood from Neil Finn's damaged melon. Ben nodded, surprised at the girls sudden, savage, turn.
“I don’t want to die, Ben. Not here, not like that.” She waved the gore covered two by four at the Crowded House singer’s prone body. “I want to get home and see my Sis and my Mum.”
“Me too. Well, I meant I wanna see my family not your Mum or Sis, but I would…”
“I know what you mean, dumbass.” She gave him that smile that always melted his heart. Anastasia suddenly had an air of confidence that she'd never had before. Ben found himself even more attracted to her.
“No more getting star struck,” she nodded to the limp form of the zombie Neil Finn. “You almost got us eaten.”
“Yeah. Yeah.” He stared down at the dead singer then back up at Anastasia. “Grandad’s gonna be so pissed.”
“Then don’t tell him.”
“Sure. There’s probably a million other things that’ll come up about this day before that happens.” Ben nodded then pointed down the beach. They could barely see the outline of the pier and the ferries. A cloud of smoke rose up in the distance. “Looks like a half mile jog. Piece of cake.”
“You think it’s okay? Can you see any more of those… those things?””
“Can’t tell from here, I see smoke. May be some of those fucking creeps milling about. That can’t be good.”
“What now?” Anastasia asked, worry in her voice.
“Well, let's have a look-see. Worst case scenario we’ll have to grab a surfboard and paddle out.”
“What happened to kayaks?”
“I said worst case.”
“Can you swim, Ben? That would be worst case in my book. Can you swim?” Anastasia asked, as they hurried across the warm sand towards the uncertainty of the pier.
“No, I mean not very good. You?”
“All Star swim champ in middle school.” She smiled. “Almost joined up in high school but then my Dad died and me Mum had to take a full-time job. I didn’t want to stress her out with havin’ to pay for anything extra.”
“I get that. Sorry Ana.” He rested a hand in her shoulder. “You know, I always wondered how you kept that gorgeous back.”
“Perv,” Anastasia shook her head.
“If we have to swim across the bay to get off this God Forsaken Island I will dog paddle my ass off,” Ben told her. “I will be right behind you, Ana. I am not going to die here.”
“Good, neither am I.”
GROSSEST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE
Cockatoo Island
“Fuck you! And Fuck you!” Joshua slammed the baton across the temple of a zombie that was wearing only a speedo. Black blood splashed in Joshua’s face as the overweight dead man crashed to the ground next to another newly re-killed zombie. The flesh eaters head was nothing more than a pulpy mess. Joshua jabbed his baton into the open mouth of a dead woman as she tried to bite his arm. He shoved the weapon all the way through her mouth and out the back of her head. Joshua gagged a little, as it made a sound that reminded him of being a kid and smashing a rotten melon. The baton got stuck in her skull and he had to push on her chest with his foot to pull it out. The weapon made the grossest sound he’d ever heard as he jerked it out of her mouth. The female zombie collapsed on top of the re-dead speedo zombie. A growing pile of undead that fell to the wild baton strikes of the angry Maori youth now lay at his feet.
“And especially, fuck you!” Joshua shouted at the woman whose mouth was now just a bloody mess. Before he could even catch a breath, two more zombies charged him. Joshua was able to move out of the way of the first of them. The zombie flew past him crashing face first into a small sand dune. The second attacker lunged at Joshua’s legs and pulled him down to the soft sand.
Joshua lost his baton in the fall as the zombie swiftly scrambled up his legs, looking to rip out his throat. The Maori kicked at the dead man, trying unsuccessfully to throw him off his thighs. Reaching into the sand, Joshua grabbed a big handful and threw it into the zombie’s face. Unblinking, the flesh eater continued to crawl up onto Joshua’s torso. Adrenaline flowing, he used all his strength to slam the man on the side of the head with his fist. The zombie just moaned and snapped his broken teeth at Joshua’s exposed chest.
“No, you don’t, fucker!” He lifted the man’s chin with his left hand and with his right he jabbed his thumb into his eye socket. Fighting the urge to vomit, he squished the eyeball with his thumb. Nasty viscera exploded all over Joshua’s cheeks as he tried not to throw up. Using his longer index finger, he then shoved it in the empty eye hole and up into the brain. This time Joshua vomited as his finger found the zombie’s soft brain matter. The young man continued to throw up and jab his finger into the dead man’s eye socket until it stopped moving. Physically drained and dry heaving, Joshua angrily rolled the zombie off of him. He figured now he had the top answer if he was ever asked to play ‘Grossest thing you’ve ever done?’. Shivering, adrenaline crashing, he fell back onto the sand. If there were any more zombies nearby he didn’t have the strength to fight them off. Suddenly a cold hand slapped down hard against his stomach. Joshua jumped, shocked by the unexpected contact.
“Fuck!”
In a flash and finding the inner juice he thought had been all but drained, Joshua turned over onto his side and swiftly rolled to his feet. The zombie that had crashed head first into the sand dune was now pulling itself upright. Its sand dusted face looked quite ridiculous as it snapped its broken and splintered teeth in the boy’s direction.
“Mate, I’m really tired of this zombie bullshit!” He kicked the dead man square in the chest with his bare foot. The flesh eater threw its hands forward as it stumbled back a few steps. Joshua kicked it again, as the thing let out a gassy groan and tripped and fell. Before the dead man could get up, Joshua let out a primal scream and jumped atop the creature’s chest straddling it. The zombie let out some vile gas as the boy’s weight crushed its stomach.
“Screw you bud!” Joshua raised the baton in both hands and brought it down as hard as he could on the zombie’s head. Teeth clacking together, the dead man growled still reaching up for the young man. Joshua smashed him again, sending black blood splashing upwards. The creature growled and continued to grapple with the Maori. Screaming, Joshua hit him again, and again, and again. Blood and brain matter flew all over the two. About ten strikes later, six more than Joshua needed, he stopped and glanced down at the man beneath him. The zombies head was an unrecognisable mess. Just bits of skull and brains spread out and covered in black, bloody goo. Slowly standing up, Joshua looked like a zombie himself. He was covered from head to toe in gore. The young Maori could easily be mistaken for one of the walking dead.
“See what ya made me do, mate?” Joshua growled at the mutilated body beneath him. “See what ya made me do…”
The big Maori dropped the blood and flesh encrusted baton, then collapsed into the pile of unmoving zombies. Joshua groaned as he tried to pull himself up out of the nasty tangle of dead but he just couldn’t find the strength. The young man, totally physically and mentally spent, just fell back into darkness.
SLAP ME ONE MORE TIME
Cockatoo Island
Joshua felt a sudden pain against his right cheek, followed by another in his left. Trying to open his heavy eyelids, he was struck with more pain in his face. Blindly reaching out he unexpectedly felt warm, sweaty skin. In a panic, Joshua was able to quickly open his eyes. Thinking he was about to see the hungry jaws of a zombie, Joshua was greeted by Ben about to strike him in the face again.
“Slap me one more time and I’m going to kick your bloody ass!”
“Joshua!” Ben stopped and gave his friend a tight hug. “We were trying to wake you up!”
“I’m awake! Get off me, mate. Folks gonna start talkin’.” Ben chuckled happily and then let go of him. Joshua’s legs were a little wobbly as he tried to stand so Ben grabbed him by the elbow and helped the Maori to his feet.
“Thanks Ben. I’m a little thrashed.”
“You look it.”
“Fuck you.” Joshua glanced over at Anastasia, who was holding a broken two by four and watching for any zombies. “Ana.”
“Joshua.” The girl dropped the board to her side and ran over and gave him a big hug. He could feel her shudder a little, fighting back tears. “We thought you were dead.”
“So did I.” Joshua gently let go of Anastasia. “Anyone else?”
“No,” Ben said solemnly, as he slowly shook his head. “Everyone else is dead or one of them things.”
“You see Samantha anywhere?”
“No.” Anastasia shook her head. “Last time we saw her was with you.”
“Damn. Probably she got chewed up or some shit. I shouldn’t have let her go off.” Joshua rubbed his aching arm; his whole body was sore.
“Not your fault, Joshua,” Anastasia said, giving him a sad smile. “None of us knew this was going to happen.”
“Zoe?”
“She turned.” Anastasia stared down at her feet.
“I’m so sorry, Ana.” Joshua said, resting a hand on her shoulder.
“I mean no one could have predicted this, right?” She held the Maori’s hand in both of hers. “Right?”
“Weird shit it is.” Joshua nodded. “Keep tryin’ to wrap me brain around it and I can’t. Seems like our nightmares come to life.”
“You must have killed like twenty of those fuckers.” Ben said, using the rebar to point at the piles of bodies around them.
“Feels like more.” Joshua rubbed his neck. Every square inch of his body hurt. Under the legs of a re-killed zombie was the handle of his bloody baton. He stiffly reached down and pulled it from beneath the dead youth’s twisted thighs.
“What’s going on Joshua?” Anastasia asked, still looking around for any of the reanimated dead. Joshua figured Ana was slipping into some kind of shock, repeating herself like that. Instead of repeating himself he gave her a reassuring smile and gave her his best explanation.
“Must be some kind of virus or something. It’s like one of them silly movies where the dead come back, you know. Eat yer brains.”
“‘Cept it’s not just the brains they’re eating.” Anastasia shuddered again. Joshua saw the remnants of a beach towel under one of the bodies. He bent down and pulled it out from under the corpse. Making sure it was fairly clean, he draped it across Anastasia’s shoulders.
“Thanks, Joshua.”
Joshua nodded and pursed his lips together thinking. He looked at the blood that had dried on both of his hands then down at the piles of bodies. “You take out those creature’s brains, it seems to stop them alright.” The other two just nodded in agreement as they cautiously watched the areas around them.
“We were headed to the pier,” Anastasia told Joshua. “We were going to hide in the old buildings but we found they’re full of the dead.”
“So, we decided to head for the pier and try to find a boat or something.” Ben added.
“So was I, until those meat eatin’ fucks jumped me.” Joshua looked down at the corpses near his feet. “Sneaky bastards.”
“I’m really glad you’re alive, buddy,” Ben said, as he stepped over a body.
“So am I.” Joshua chuckled, as he bent down and picked up his gore splattered backpack.
“We need to get to the pier before it’s too late and we have to try and swim across the bay.”
“Yeah,” Joshua nodded. “I was going to give swimmin’ a go, but after goin’ a few rounds with these shits I ain’t got the strength. Bloody cunts!” He angrily kicked the speedo zombie in the side, then glanced up at his friends. “There’s a shit ton of buildings around that we can hide in until help comes.”
“If help comes,” Anastasia said, crossing her arms.
“I’m not going in another one of those fucking buildings,” Ben protested. “Last time I was almost zombie chow! No fucking way, mate! I’ll swim before I do that again!”
“Okay, okay.” Joshua raised an open blood-stained hand to calm him down. “We’ll head for the pier.”
“Hopefully the ferry, or something, is still there for us to use.” Anastasia watched as a zombie stumbled into a cabana tent and got itself tangled up in the nylon fabric.
“We need to go, now!” Ben said, tightening his grip on the rebar.
“No shit.” Joshua nodded anxiously. Suddenly, Anastasia ran off in the direction of the cabana tent that was currently trapping a zombie within its fabric. Before the two young men could stop her, Anastasia had started to pummel the flesh eater with the two by four. After several swings, the interior of the white tent was streaked with black blood.
“Fucking assholes!” Anastasia said, cracking the zombie in the head with the sturdy wood. Its skull split open and grey brain matter splattered the tents ceiling. The creature gripped at the tents nylon walls as it slid to the ground, tearing the fabric as it did so. Still screaming, Anastasia continued to strike the unmoving zombie in the head with the board. On her last black blood splashed upswing, Joshua grabbed the two by four away from Anastasia. Ben was right behind her and pulled the girl into his arms. Anastasia then broke down into ragged sobs
, her body sagging against Ben’s chest.
“Zoe…” She cried. “Oh... Zoe.”
“It’s okay, Ana.” Ben softy stroked her hair. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“No,” she shook her head. “It will never be okay, Ben. Never.”
“I’m so sorry, Ana. I’m sorry.”
“Listen,” Joshua leaned in close to Anastasia’s face and said quietly. “We need to get a move on before more of those things show up.” He gently grabbed Anastasia by the chin. “Are you going to be alright to run?”
“Yes,” Anastasia nodded. “I can do it.”
“Good because we need to split now.” He pointed to a mob of dead that were heading in their direction. Joshua quickly shrugged into his backpack and told them, “Follow me and run!”
Zombie Island Page 22