by Mike Truk
“Sixty-five?” I stared down at him in pretend hurt. “After all we’ve been through?”
“I’m at eighty-five,” said Tamara. “Mostly because Kellik can’t account for what we’ll find in the ruins.”
“Seventy-five,” said Yashara. “We don’t yet know how vindictive and powerful the Nautilus company truly is.”
“Thirty-five percent,” said Cerys. “I don’t trust Elsa. I don’t know how likely it is that Beauhammer will be so impressed with the locket that he’ll give us the ticket. The Nautilus company is a formidable threat. The ruins are apparently famous for being lethal, and the White Suns are going to be no pushovers.” She hesitated, and I resisted the urge to turn around and look at her. “Also, I don’t know how well we can trust Kellik himself. I’m being honest here. His heritage… we’ve yet to see how it will play out.”
“Thanks Cerys.” I stared ahead, cheerful mood sluicing away. “Appreciate it.”
“My confidence in Kellik is one hundred percent,” said Netherys, her voice devoid of humor. “Mother Magrathaar has vouchsafed me visions of his fate. Of his greatness. We are but beginning on the path that shall lead him to victory. If we remain true to him, if we hold faith in his abilities, than there is nothing that he can’t accomplish.”
“That’s not a comforting thought,” said Tamara. “I’m as open-minded as the next person, but hearing that Mother Magrathaar’s excited about Kellik’s future doesn’t fill me with confidence.”
“I don’t know if we’ll succeed at this mission,” said Iris. “But I have full confidence in Kellik.”
Pony grunted.
“Well.” I was glad I was walking at the front of the group. It allowed me to compose my features and calm my emotions without being observed. “Thank you for that refreshing bout of honesty. But consider this if you’re doubting our chances of success: nobody else in Port Lusander is supported by an immensely powerful necromancer, a war troll, a Crimson Noose assassin, a half-orc mercenary captain, a Foresworn, a dark elf witch or a first-rate accountant. Add in the fact that I’m a fucking king troll, for whatever that’s worth, and we’re bringing more heat to this fight than anyone else can even begin to imagine.”
Certainty filled me. “Nobody’s been able to stop us yet. Not gloom knights. Not barons. Not Uncles. Not mages, not assassins, not white sharks, Krakenia, blue svartens, not even motherfucking Dead Man’s Trench sea monsters. We’ve gone up against everyone and everything and not only stayed one step ahead of them, but we’ve put anyone who’s tested us in the grave. Nobody has beaten us. Nobody has come out on top. And I aim to keep it that way. So if you doubt me. If you doubt us. If you think we’re outmatched. If you think we’re in danger. Think again. We’ve been beating impossible odds since we started, and I don’t plan to stop now.”
We walked in silence for a spell, and then Pony reached out and patted my shoulder. I reached out to pat his stony hand in turn.
“Pretty good speech, that one,” said Yashara.
I raised a finger. “No scoring of my speech. That’s as close as I’m going to ever get to giving an outright order.”
I heard mixed chuckles behind me, but no one disobeyed.
We reached Jessie’s warehouse a few minutes later, leaving the rest of the bustling docks behind us at long last. Jessie was standing in the small courtyard where I’d surprised her two guards just a couple of nights ago; wisely she’d not bothered to fill it with her enforcers, but instead stood in a simple outfit of black leather, a slender blade at her hip, arms crossed, Elsa by her side.
Elsa had once more eschewed her high society ballgown for more functional leathers and a cloak; she watched us approach with an eyebrow raised and only a flicker of wariness on her otherwise calm face.
“Master Kellik.” Jessie addressed me before I even entered the courtyard. Understanding her intent, I stopped before doing so. “To what do I owe this unannounced visit?”
“Jessie. Elsa.” I nodded my head to each. “Good news. We’ve secured Magistrate Beauhammer’s locket. We should now be able to impress him into giving us a ticket, which in turn should result in our entering the ruins and earning a fortune in gold with which to invest in your next trading adventure. I’ve come to sign the provisional contracts you drew up with Master Pogmillion here.”
“Oh, he’s good,” said Elsa, crossing her arms and leaning her weight on one leg.
“Indeed,” said Jessie, lowering her chin. “No mention of the Fever Dream, the way he’s stirred up the Nautilus company, or how he’s directed that attention my way by marching openly through the docks to my warehouse.”
“We don’t intend to stay long,” I said, changing our plans even as I spoke. “Secure a cart and some canvas for us and we’ll be on our way shortly after signing the documents.”
“Where to?” asked Elsa.
I tapped the side of my nose.
Jessie stared at me, glanced at Pony and the others, then sighed. “You’ve already blazed a trail to my door. Nautilus will be coming this way soon to ask questions. I’ll tell them you’re investing in my mercantile business, and having signed documents will be the proof I need. Especially if you’re long gone by the time they show up. Come in. I’ll send for a cart.”
I have to admit I felt a wave of relief. Right to the last second I’d not been sure if she’d turn us away. “Excellent. Thank you.”
We marched inside, and soon settled down on an array of couches, chairs, and chaises. Pony lowered himself into an easy squat by the entrance, hammer balanced across his knees.
“Can I see it?” asked Elsa, leaning forward, eyes gleaming.
I didn’t have to ask what she was referring to. While Pogo accepted a sheaf of documents, insisting on reading the terms one last time to ensure nothing had been changed, I pulled out the gold locket and held it out to her.
“Just as he described it,” said Elsa, turning it about in her fingers. “How by the Hanged God did you manage to salvage it so quickly?”
“It’s a long story,” I said, reaching out to take it back. “But suffice it to say we get what we want.”
“Then I’m glad we’ll be working together.” She leaned back, spreading her arms along the back of the couch, and crossed one leg over the other knee. “And just in time, as well. This morning the last team presented its bid for the remaining license and was accepted. Only the discretionary license remains, and that will be delivered tonight at the ball. You will attend, of course?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I said. “Though I don’t have suitable attire.”
Elsa’s lips quirked. “That can be arranged. Who else will be needing outfitting?”
“I will,” said Cerys. “Along with Tamara.”
“Very well. Once you are settled in your mysterious new location, have whoever’s attending visit my tailor in the north end of town. I’ll give you his address. He’s both very talented and discreet, though he’ll no doubt charge me double for the rush job. He’ll see to it that you have suitable clothing ready by tonight.”
“My thanks,” I said. “What do you know of this new team?”
“You might actually be able to tell me more about them,” said Elsa, affecting a careless tone. “They’re from Port Gloom.”
“Port Gloom?” I tried to disguise my jolt of alarm. “That’s… interesting.”
“Indeed. They’re led by a striking man called Baleric. I’m not certain, but I believe he’s an Exemplar of the Hanged God. A very… unnerving individual.”
“That’s not good,” I said. “What else?”
“His group is five strong. I didn’t catch everyone’s names, but there’s a city troll of impressive proportions; a young, faded noblewoman who seems more suited to drawing rooms than ruins; a brute of a woman with a sword as long as her leg; and a red-headed youth who I’d not trust with a plate of biscuits, much less the treasure hidden in the ruins. They seem a very capable team.”
Could they have been sent after me? We�
�d taken the direct route to Port Lusander from Port Gloom. Could they have been assembled and sent after us so quickly? No. The odds were against it. “Are they funded or patronized by any organization?”
“Not that I know of,” said Elsa, watching me carefully. “Baleric isn’t the chatty type. Do you know of him?”
“No,” I said, then glanced to my companions. “You guys?”
Everyone shook their heads.
“Port Gloom is vast,” I said. “It’s not surprising that we’ve not heard of him.”
“It shouldn’t matter.” Elsa’s voice was brisk. “We’ll leave him and the other teams to ransack the ruins while we go about our business. Everything is moving according to plan.”
“Master Kellik,” said Pogo, hopping off the edge of his chair to approach me with his documents. “If you could review this contract with me? There are a number of clauses you should be aware of, and which I would be happy to walk you through.”
I took a deep breath and forced a smile. “Go ahead, Pogo. I’m all ears.”
The next hour passed slowly. Elsa excused herself and left to arrange matters with her tailor and ensure we received invitations to the forthcoming ball. Most of my crew took the opportunity to eat and rest. Netherys even brought me a plate of food; I glanced up at her in surprise and she just scowled, as if caught doing something embarrassing.
As the oblique beams of afternoon sunlight slowly crawled across the warehouse floor, I took advantage of the quiet to approach Cerys, who’d opted to not rest. She was slowly and methodically checking a quiver of arrows she’d purchased from one of Jessie’s men, which apparently meant redoing half of the fletching.
“Hey,” I said, sitting on a stool close by. “Got a minute?”
“Hmm,” she grunted, not taking her eyes from the shaft around which she was slowly winding a thread.
I looked down at my hands. “Look. I know you’re… hesitant at best to be working beside me. Furthering my goals. But if you’re going to be part of the team, I’m going to need you to not demoralize the others.”
Cerys bit her lower lip, eyes still trained on the shaft, and then sighed and straightened her back. Rested the arrow on her knees and turned to regard me. Her acidic blue eyes were remote, almost alien, and it felt like staring into the face of a stranger.
“Everybody here is a grown-up, Kellik. Supposedly you are, too. I’m a Crimson Noose assassin. Not a nanny or comfort girl. If you find my honest opinion too hard to listen to, then you need to evaluate your own grip on reality.”
“It’s not that,” I said, fighting for patience. “I’m not asking for you to lie or pretend to be cheerful. Just - can’t you at least not try to bring the others down?”
She blew out her cheeks and looked away. “Fine. You want me to keep quiet? I can do that.”
I struggled to find a way to connect to her. She might as well have been sitting on the far side of a ravine for all the closeness I felt. “There’s got to be something I can do to reassure you. Haven’t I refrained from doing anything you’d find objectionable thus far?”
“That’s just it,” she said, voice low. “It’s thus far. It will always be thus far. All it’s going to take is for you to slip once, and that could happen at any time. So yeah. I’m waiting. I’m watching.”
I nodded slowly, a bleak sensation of hopelessness and loss filling me. How was I supposed to ever change her mind? The urge to simply manifest my power and smooth away her doubts was suddenly fierce, but I, of course, suppressed it.
“I can’t win this one,” I said. “Because no matter what I do, it’ll never be enough.” Her words came back to me, her fear of what it meant for her to still care for me. What it said about her. “I guess all I can do is never give you cause to hate me.” Or yourself, I almost added.
“We’ll see. But I’ll tell you one thing. There’s a line in the sand that I won’t cross.” She finally looked up and met my eyes again. “I won’t kill a good person for you, or through inactivity allow good people to suffer. Kzzgt, Faverash, and everyone else we’ve fought with thus far no doubt had dirty hands. But someone I deem truly good? No way. I’m not going to allow your quest to ruin innocent lives.”
“I don’t intend to ruin innocent lives,” I said, trying to keep the anger from my voice. “You speak about me like I’m some rabid dog. When have I ever gone after innocent people?”
“You haven’t yet.” She took up her shaft and began to wind the thread about the new fletching once more. “You haven’t yet.”
“Great. Well. Nice chatting with you. Let’s skip the hug this time round, yeah? Yeah.” I stood up and walked away. Though I tried to rest, I found myself too uneasy to do more than toss and turn on one of the chaises, face buried in the crook of my elbow.
I felt someone sit on the edge of the chaise and cracked open an eye to see Tamara. “Hey.”
She considered me, her lips pursed, her expression thoughtful. “You doing all right?”
And for some reason that really touched me. I don’t know. Maybe I was just feeling low. But I dropped my arm and caught hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, I guess. You?”
“You’re not good at lying.” Then she considered her own words, moving her head from side to side, and smiled. “Well, I take that back. I think you’re actually really talented at lying. But maybe you’re just not very good at doing it to me. I know you’re having a tough time. Maestria kicked us off the ship. You’re trying to take care of all of us while avoiding more trouble. You’re being judged and given a hard time by some of the people you care for the most. Not to mention the simple fact that you’ve still got to be dealing with the knowledge of what you are. Who your father is. It’s like, everyone is so focused on what it means for them to be with you that it doesn’t seem like anyone’s asking how you’re doing in the first place. So. How about we try again? How are you doing?”
And damn if her words didn’t sink into me and wrap themselves around my heart and give it a squeeze. My breath kind of choked in my throat a little, and I forced myself to sit up to buy myself time to recover.
“You know, it’s not too good?” I tried for a roguish smile and don’t know if I succeeded. “I think - maybe…” I trailed off, thoughts whirling and failing to cohere.
“What?” asked Tamara, and she reached down to curl the hair out of my eyes. “What is it?”
And you want to know something crazy? That a moment of kindness like this was somehow harder to handle than Cerys’ mistrust, Maestria’s eviction, and Netherys’ prophecies. I felt an actual knot in my throat and studiously looked away into the middle distance.
“Just… maybe, now that you ask, and now that I think about it, maybe I’m pushing us this fast, this hard, because if I slow down, if I stop for too long…”
“You’ll be forced to deal with it? That makes sense to me. I remember how preoccupied you were on the Bonegwayne during the voyage in. You never stopped. Training, learning about the ship, the rigging, helping with duties, challenging Pogo to chess… makes more sense, now.”
“Yeah, I suppose so. At the time I felt, I don’t know, like I was going to fly apart if I didn’t just do something to pass the time. But now. It’s like, the last thing I want to do is to stop and spend a quiet afternoon doing nothing.”
Again she ran her fingers through my hair, and it felt so damn good, so calming, so restful, that I almost suspected her of bending the flame somehow and working on my pattern.
But I knew she wasn’t.
This was something just as rare, and just as special.
Genuine human kindness.
“Kellik.” There was such sad fondness in her voice. “I pray to the White Sun that a day will come when you can stop running. When you can stop throwing yourself into grave peril. When you can stop, and be at peace, and exhale and know that the world is all right, that you are all right, and that you’ve finally found your place in it.”
Tears prickled my eyes, and I forc
ed a broken laugh. “You know how unlikely that sounds?”
“I know,” she said and sounded even sadder. “But that’s my prayer for you.”
“Thank you,” I said, and took hold of her hand, interlacing her fingers with mine. “And where do you fit in that picture?”
Her smile quirked. “Oh Kellik. Come on.”
“No,” I said, “seriously.”
She raised an eyebrow. “When I picture you finally resting, outside some homestead or small farm or whatever, you know I picture someone like Cerys by your side.” She gave her head a little shake. “You know that.”
“No,” I said, turning to face her where I lay. “I don’t. Why would I know that?”
Tamara blinked rapidly. “Because - well, obviously. Someone gorgeous, someone lethal, someone capable and poised and - come on. This isn’t funny.”
“I’m not being funny,” I said, holding onto her hand when she tried to withdraw it. “I’m being serious. I don’t know what the future holds, but I don’t see why you shouldn’t be a part of that.”
She looked away. “Right. That’s very sweet of you to say so.”
“Hey.” I gave her hand a tug, causing her to look back at me, her eyes narrowed. “I’m not being sweet. What do I have to say to prove I’m being serious?”
“Thank you,” she said, and leaned over to kiss my brow. “I appreciate that. And don’t worry, I meant what I said before. Even if I don’t see myself in your future, you’ve got my support in the now. Don’t worry about that, all right?”
I was all kinds of confused. “What are you talking about? Who said I doubted you?”
She shook her head sadly. “Oh Kellik. Maybe you even believe what you’re saying and feeling right now. But I won’t hold you to it. Take it easy on yourself, all right? You’re a better person than you know.” And she pulled her hand free, stood up, and walked away.
I lay there, frowning, and watched her leave. By the Hanged God’s dolorous visage, what the fuck had that been about?
Rising from the chaise, unable to rest, I set about walking the perimeter of the warehouse, listening carefully, trying to guess where a calculated surprise Nautilus attack might come from, divining the warehouse’s weak spots, and otherwise keeping my mind busy over the next hour or so until I finally sat down next to Pony by the main door and stared morosely out at nothing.