How quickly my thoughts and desires to return to the farm, to a restricted and isolated existence, dwindled. Never had my memories of Noble and my family spirits, all of the wonders of my infancy, seemed as vague as they did now. Why shouldn't I attend a prestigious college and develop a career in the business world? Why shouldn't I travel as Basil traveled and meet people, eat wonderful new foods, and see magnificent scenery? Why shouldn't I be as sophisticated as the snobby girls at my school, and most of all, why shouldn't I find a wonderful young man with whom I could share my life? Why was all that coming to those other girls and not to me? Why had I been trapped in orphanages and made to feel less than worthy of having a family and a home?
Too excited to go into the house and start my home-work, I started the engine and drove away. I didn't have anywhere in particular to go. I just cruised the side streets, then suddenly found myself turning onto the road that would bring me to Basil's property. I pulled to the side of the road and looked out over the choice acreage. I could see a house on that hill, I thought, a big, elaborate home, a modern-day castle with elegance as well as all the bells and whistles that come with gates and pools and tennis courts. I could be Ami, but I'd be happier than she is, I thought. Was that arrogant of me?
The sun was going down quickly. Days were far shorter now, and winter was just over the horizon, the colder winds and grayer clouds inching forward to announce its impending arrival. As shadows deepened, I thought I saw a figure walking up the knoll where Basil and now I envisioned a house. It looked like Noble. He turned my way, and then he disappeared over the crest.
"You're imagining things," I told myself, took my foot off the brake, and accelerated to put distance between me and the illusion. I turned up the radio to drown out any warnings or dark thoughts, and I sang along as I seemed to float over the highway until I reached home again and drove up to the garage. Anyone who saw me probably thought I was just another crazy teenager.
"Where have you been?" Ami asked as soon as I entered the house. I was still humming the last song I had heard on the radio. She had been waiting in the living room, and she stepped out when I opened the door.
"Basil gave me his car!" I cried. "I just had to take a ride on my own for the first time. I just drove to drive. I didn't go anywhere special."
Ami's hard look quickly softened.
"Oh, how wonderful. I'm happy for you, Celeste. But from now on, especially since you have a car to use, please let me know where you are and when you'll be back, okay? I don't want to sound like Wade, a worrywart or anything, but it's important."
"Of course. I'm sorry, Ami. I should have told you. I should have taken you with me."
"We'll go plenty of places together in your car," she said, laughing. "Don't worry about that. Come upstairs." She hooked my arm. "I have to show you the new coat I got you for winter. It has a fox fur collar."
"A new coat!"
It was truly as if heaven was raining gifts down on me. Hopefully, it would never end, I thought, and hurried up the stairs with her.
Naturally, she couldn't simply buy me a new coat without buying new gloves, new boots, and a pair of pants with a matching sweater. It was all laid out on my bed. I tried it all on quickly and paraded about, modeling it for her. We were laughing and giggling so much we didn't hear Wade come up the stairs and to my bedroom door. He knocked on the partially opened door.
"Dad's here?" he asked, looking in curiously at us. "No," Ami said. "Unless he came after we came up here."
"His car is parked out front, so I just thought . . ." Ami gave me a conspiratorial smile and turned back to him.
"It's not his car anymore, Wade. He made good on his promise to Celeste. He gave it to her."
"Gave her his car?" he asked, obviously shocked.
"To use," I said. "I don't think it's actually signed over to me, although," I said, looking at Ami, "I didn't look at the papers."
"Don't be surprised if it is," she told me.
I looked at Wade, expecting him to get over his surprise and be happy for me, but he looked darkly pensive and troubled instead.
"What's all this?" he asked, nodding at the clothing on the bed.
"We have to get her winter wardrobe started," Ami replied, as if it were obvious.
He nodded.
"I'm happy for you, Celeste," he said. "Just be careful."
"Careful?" Ami challenged.
"Driving the car," he explained, nodded, and left us.
"Told you that man is a worrywart," Ami said, waving him off. "Don't let him ruin this wonderful day for you."
Despite the look on Wade's face and the tone in his voice, I didn't lose my elation and buoyancy. Ami's flighty, carefree manner carried over to me. Actually, I relished it. I wanted to ignore the dark faces, the looks I got from Mrs. Cukor, the
unhappiness and sourness in Mrs. McAlister's visage, and the stoic intensity and foreboding in Wade's demeanor even at dinner. Ami and I continued to laugh and giggle. I let her woo me with her plans for our trips. We were going to drive to New York City to see the Christmas decorations this year, and it would be up to us to plan a vacation trip during the holidays. She warned Wade not to come up with any business reasons for delays or postponements. I was so excited that evening, I knew I would have trouble sleeping. Later, I called Trevor and told him my good news.
"He really gave you the car? I can't believe it," he said.
"Neither can I."
"But it's great. How about taking me home from school tomorrow?"
"Sure," I said quickly.
I described some of the plans Arai was making for us and told him about my new clothes. I'd never rattled on so over a telephone. Of course, I'd never had anyone like Trevor to speak to on a phone before either. We began to make plans for the future as well, talked about upcoming school events, parties, and trips we might make together.
"For a while," I said, sobering a bit, "we have to be discreet. I still have to work on Ami and convince her you're not Jack the Raper."
He laughed.
"What if I am?"
"I don't care," I said recklessly, and we laughed again. I was in that kind of mood, and I didn't want it to end. It was a natural high that I was positive was as good as any drug or alcoholic high.
By the time I was tired enough to go to sleep, I realized I had neglected some of my homework, and I hadn't even begun the new assignment for the newspaper.
"I'll get by somehow," I told myself. Perhaps I would borrow one of the many excuses the other students had for their failure to do their work at school. Our teachers, for the most part, let them slip through.
Money talks, I thought, and then thought, so what?
I'll let it talk for me as well.
I was disappointed to see it raining in the morning. It was a hard, cold rain, too, pounding the windows with drops that were only a few degrees from being hail. Wade immediately insisted that he drive me to school.
"The streets will be slick as hell," he said.
"But I have to learn how to drive in all weathers," I whined.
"Not immediately. With your little driving experience, it would be irresponsible of me to permit it," he insisted. He was so adamant, I dared not oppose him. Ami was still in bed, so I didn't have her beside me to argue on my behalf.
Trevor was disappointed, of course. He had to go home with Waverly again. The rain stopped by midday, but the sky remained gray and oppressive. Ami was there to pick me up. She saw me say goodbye to Trevor, giving him a quick kiss, but she didn't say anything about it. Instead she complained about Wade's worrywart ways.
"You're probably a better driver than he is," she said.
"It's all right. He was only worried for me."
Because of the disappointment over my failure to complete my homework assignments I had seen in the faces of my teachers, especially my newspaper adviser, Mr. Feldman, I went right to work when I got home. Early that evening Trevor and I spoke on the phone, and he told me the weather
report was good for the following day.
"Good-bye, Waverly," he sang, and we laughed. "I've always wanted to be driven around by a beautiful girl in an expensive automobile."
As soon as I woke up the next morning, I saw it was a beautiful day. All the clouds were swept south, and the sky had that rich turquoise glaze that made the few remaining small clouds transparent. It was still brisk, reason enough for me to wear my new coat. I didn't realize until I had come out of my morning shower that for the first time, Wade hadn't made a wake-up call to me.
However, what surprised me the most, and of course told me it was fine for me to d; ive to school, was the fact that Wade was already gone by the time I went down to breakfast. His place had been cleared. For a moment I thought he hadn't yet risen, and asked Mrs. McAlister.
She pulled herself up and pursed her lips.
"He's gone about the time he used to go before you arrived," she said, clearly making my arrival sound like a detrimental thing. "He likes rising early."
I could hear Mrs. Cukor working the vacuum cleaner in the hallways. She usually waited before vacuuming so close to the dining room, but with only me in here now, that wasn't any concern for her. I could barely hear myself think, so I ate quickly and left the house.
At school my teachers were pleased with my work. I eagerly answered questions in class. Mr. Feldman gave me a compliment on my book review, and even Mrs. Grossbard applauded my enthusiasm during the volleyball game.
"Maybe you should think about joining our ski team," she suggested. Once again, I had to tell her I had never done one of the sports she coached here at the Dickinson School. "Never skied?" she asked in disbelief. I shook my head. She looked skeptical and tucked in her lip, as if she thought I was lying just to get out of being on the team. I began to wonder if Ami's fabrications about me were a good idea after all. It was always on the tip of my tongue to tell Trevor the truth, and a few times I had nearly slipped up when he asked me questions about my past.
Lies truly entangle you, I thought. Eventually I would trip, and the truth would come out about me. I was sure of it. I had no idea how Trevor would react once he knew, but for the moment, I thought it better to keep it that way. Actually, when I was honest with myself, I had to admit I simply didn't want to lose his attention.
Finally, our wish was to come true. I could take him home at the end of the day. Waverly stood by watching with his usual wise-guy smirk, whispering to the other boys and laughing about us.
"How can you be friends with him?" I asked Trevor. "He's such a . . . a . . ."
"Dork?"
"Yes."
He shrugged.
"He amuses me, I guess. I don't have trouble giving up my time with him to spend it with you, however."
"I hope not," I said, laughing. "Otherwise, you'd be the dork."
"Hey. You're getting too smart for yourself," he kidded. Then he looked at the dashboard. "It really is a nice car. He kept it like new. I'm still amazed he gave it to you and bought himself another one."
"I was always taught never to look a gift horse in the mouth," I said, and backed out of the parking spot. "Yeah, well, this is more than a gift from a horse," he remarked. "Cousins are usually not that generous toward each other."
Something in the air right after he said that gently shook the alarms inside me. I quieted them quickly. I wasn't in the mood to listen to any.
But as we pulled away from the school, I checked my side mirror, and I was sure I saw Ami parked surreptitiously behind a parked truck, watching me drive off. She had come only to spy on me, I thought. I was sure she would be angry and give me one of her lectures about men later. But what I saw surprised me. I had only a short glimpse of her face, but she looked more frightened than angry.
And what my instincts told me was she was more frightened for herself than for me.
I couldn't imagine why that would be, but the alarms returned.
And this time I couldn't ignore them.
16 Sweet Dreams
. Trevor's home was a beautiful sprawling ranchstyle house with dark gray stone facing and large picture windows, a house that looked like it had been lifted off a page in a high end architectural magazine. There were two fireplace chimneys in a lighter shade of gray stone. Although there were no "heavenly" gates to go through and the driveway wasn't as long as the Emersons' driveway, it was much longer and wider than the ones at the nearby homes.
The house itself was set back on a two-acre parcel with beautiful landscaping, with some old sprawling weeping willow trees, a kidney-shaped pool, and two large matching bowl fountains in front with water cascading from the smaller bowls down to the base. The property was bordered by impressive fieldstone walls someone maybe over a hundred years ago had taken a long time to build. The garage was attached in a way that made the house look longer because the doors were at the rear, the shuttered garage windows making it look like additional rooms. I pulled up to the mauve tiled walkway in front.
"It's a very pretty house, Trevor."
"Can you come in for a while?" he asked. The image of Ami planted in her car behind
that truck back at the school flashed across my mind. I saw her crunched over the steering wheel and glaring out at me.
"I have a load of work to do, Trevor," I said. "Maybe next time."
"My parents aren't home, if that's what you're worried about. My dad's at work, and my mother's gone with some of her friends to a fashion show. C'mon in. At least let me show you my room. It's not as big as yours, of course, and I merely have a queensize bed."
"I really should go," I said.
"Fifteen minutes can't make that much difference," he insisted.
I was tempted to tell him about Ami, but the sight of her spying on me was so weird to me, I thought it would spook him as well. My nerve endings were twitching like broken electric wires. For all I knew, she had followed us and was keeping track of how long I spent here.
"I can't," I said, looking away from him.
"You can't? I'll tell you what you can't do. You can't leave a helpless person out here on his own like this," he moaned.
I smiled at him.
"You're not helpless, Trevor."
"Well, one thing's for sure. I can't take advantage of you. Not in the condition I'm in. You'll have to take advantage of me. C'mon," he insisted, reaching for my hand. "Just a little while. We really haven't spent any time together since I returned to school. Everywhere we go in that school, we're being watched. It's no fun being famous," he joked.
I didn't say anything, but inside, I was pulled in two directions.
"I'm right-handed, you know, and I've lost the use of it in this cast," he added, now trying to play on my sympathies. "I have to carry in these books, open my door, struggle to change clothes. Even Waverly helps me get into the house!" he cried.
"All right," I relented. "I'll help you get into your house, but I'm not staying," I warned.
"Hey," he said, putting up his left band like someone about to take an oath, "I won't ask for much more."
"You won't get much more," I retorted, and turned off the engine.
Then I got out, walked around the car, and opened his door.
"Your Majesty," I said bowing.
"Thank you, my lady."
I took his left hand and helped him up and out of the car, He pretended to stumble into my arms and kissed me.
"Consider that a tip," he said.
"Thanks for being so generous."
"Hey!" he said, pretending to be insulted. "There are a lot of girls who would be grateful. I hope."
I moved him aside gently and reached in for his books. He smiled and walked to the front door, reaching into his left pocket for the keys. I looked back down the driveway for signs of Ami's car on the street, but I didn't see it.
"Could you do this?" he asked, holding up the keys.
I shook my head at his obvious pretense at helplessness, but took the keys and opened the door. He pushed it and we entered h
is house. I heard music. "Someone's home," I said.
"No, no. My mother always leaves music on. She thinks that would discourage would-be burglars. Unless, of course, they're music lovers. You want something cold to drink?"
"No, Trevor, I'm leaving. I told you."
"All right, all right. Just take a look at my room. It's right down here," he said, walking through the entryway.
I was reluctant to take another step, but I was curious about the house. The entryway floor was of stone, similar to the floor in Wade's office, but the living room and dining room were carpeted. The kitchen was actually a little bigger than the kitchen at the Emerson house, and it was brighter because of the skylights and the lighter tones in the tile, the wallpaper, and counters. Trevor's father had a beautiful office, too, albeit half the size of Wade's. I liked Trevor's father's furnishings better. They looked softer, more comfortable.
This house didn't have the opulence and size of the Emerson house, but it was smartly decorated, with a subtlety that I appreciated. It felt warmer, more like a home. We just glanced in at his parents' bedroom. It was a large room by any standards, but it didn't have the lounge area Ami's and Wade's did.
I was surprised at the neatness of Trevor's room. There were no articles of clothing lying about, no drawers half-opened, nothing on the floor. He studied my face as I perused his room.
"What do you think?"
"It's a beautiful room, Trevor. Are you this neat, or do you have someone picking up after you?"
He laughed.
"My mother is a cleanliness and neatness freak. Dad jokes that if he gets up to go to the bathroom during the night, she'll make the bed."
I remained standing in the doorway. I knew that if I entered his room, I would be in trouble.
"Hey," he said. "You're so uptight. Relax." He reached for my hand, but I didn't step forward. "C'mon, Celeste. You know how I feel about you, and I know you like me. Why not take advantage of an opportunity?" he asked sincerely.
I wanted to stay with him. I wanted to kiss him and make love to him. My heart was beating with anticipation, but those alarm bells wouldn't be stilled. I saw I had no choice. I had to be honest.
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