Breaking Down Her Walls

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Breaking Down Her Walls Page 13

by Erin Zak


  “You realize perfect popcorn takes time?” Elena yells back. She walks over to Julia with the giant bowl of popcorn. “Now, this is the hard part. You have to make sure you get just the clarified butter. Not the separated part at the bottom. You see that?”

  Julia watches Elena hold the glass measuring cup toward the light. She says, “Mm-hmm,” even though she’s not even looking at the butter. She can’t take her eyes off Elena. There’s something about the way she looks tonight that is making it difficult for Julia to function. Her hair and the way her skin looks, and does she have mascara on?

  “Do you see what I mean?” Elena looks at Julia. “You haven’t heard a single word I’ve said, have you?”

  Julia feels her cheeks get hot and her entire body flush upon being busted. “Um, no. Sure didn’t.”

  Elena shakes her head. “What were you thinking about?” Elena’s eyes lock on to Julia’s.

  “Your lips.”

  “Jesus.” Elena raises an eyebrow to her hairline.

  “Did you want me to lie to you?”

  “Never,” Elena replies. It sounds like she really means it, which is not normal for the people that have come and gone from Julia’s life. They all lie to her and expect the same in return. But not Elena. Not this wonderful woman who Julia thought she was going to hate. “Shake the bowl. I’ll drizzle the butter over it.”

  Julia does as she’s told, tries not to look at Elena’s eyes because she’ll lose focus again, and is pleasantly surprised when she doesn’t screw up. “Look at that. I can handle it.”

  “Told you,” Elena says, her voice soft. “Grab those individual bowls and follow me.”

  Julia takes the smaller bowls that actually say “popcorn” on them and follows Elena into the family room. The room is dark, illuminated only by the light from the large, flat screen TV. Cole is seated on the recliner, Elijah and Caroline are on the love seat—how appropriate—and the couch is left for Julia and Elena. She sits on the left-hand side of the couch, as far away from the right side as possible, and hands over the bowls. Elena fills each one with popcorn, and Julia passes them out. It’s almost like they’ve done this before with how smooth the process is going. Cole, of course, is the first person to notice.

  “First time I passed out popcorn, I spilled it all, Julia.” Cole smiles while shoving his mouth full of the buttery goodness.

  “Well, I’m more mature. I’m sure that’s why I can handle it,” Julia replies, smiling and laughing when she sees that he is rolling his eyes dramatically.

  “Sure.” Elijah chuckles from the opposite side of the room.

  Julia whizzes a piece of popcorn at Elijah and gets a gentle smack on the arm from Elena. “Sorry,” she whispers, a smile gracing her lips.

  “Okay, Mr. Impatient, you can start the movie.” Elena sighs, nodding at Elijah, pulling her legs up onto the couch.

  Julia leans over. “What movie?” Her eyes land on Elena’s profile, study the way her eyes are fixed on the screen.

  “Jurassic Park,” she whispers, shielding her mouth from Cole.

  “Has he not seen it yet?”

  “Yes, I’ve seen it,” Cole says. “Are you one of those people that talk through movies?”

  Julia hides her laughter when Elena smiles and looks over at her. “Damn, tough crowd,” she says softly as she goes back to eating her popcorn.

  * * *

  Obviously, Julia has seen Jurassic Park before. She’s probably seen it a few too many times since, for a while, it was the only movie she owned. But what she hasn’t done is watch the movie while sitting next to someone she honestly cannot stop thinking about. And it’s most definitely making it very hard to pay attention to the plot.

  Thank goodness she knows what happens.

  And knows most of the words.

  And hums along as often as possible to the music.

  And makes sure to jump when the velociraptor attacks Dr. Sattler after she turns the power back on.

  And even sheds a tear when the sign falls from the ceiling in front of the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

  She’s acting as if she’s watching every second, when in actuality, she hasn’t stopped checking her peripheral to see Elena’s reactions. She wants to smile when Elena laughs at Dr. Malcolm’s attempts to woo Dr. Sattler. She wants to hold Elena’s hand when Timmy doesn’t wake up after being electrocuted. She wants to be the arm for Elena to grip when the raptors are chasing Timmy and Lex. And she absolutely cannot get over how Elena eats one piece of popcorn at a time and has almost a full bowl the entire movie.

  But as the movie wears on, it becomes clearer and clearer that Julia isn’t the only one not really paying attention.

  When the credits roll, Julia glances over at Elijah and Caroline. They’re sound asleep. She looks at Cole. He’s passed out as well. “Guess it’s just you and me,” Julia whispers as she locks eyes with Elena, who is somehow way closer than when the movie started.

  Elena smiles and moves her partially full bowl of popcorn to the coffee table in front of the couch. She leans back into the cushions and looks over at Julia. “You seemed to know most of that movie. Almost like you’ve seen it a few times.”

  Julia feels herself blush. “Yeah, I kind of love that movie.” Their faces are insanely close considering present company. It makes Julia’s heart ache, looking at Elena, wanting so much from her but knowing it’s not the right time.

  “I have to tell you something,” Elena whispers.

  Julia’s voice is gone upon hearing that. She nods, tries to say okay, but realizes nothing is coming out.

  “Penn is going to stay as long as we need her.” Elena looks like she’s gathering her courage as she says, “We talked, and I think it’d be good to have her here to help out.”

  Julia looks away from Elena, at the TV, where the very end of the credits is still rolling. “That’s probably a good idea,” she says, trying to not let her voice crack.

  “You think so?” Elena asks. “Because I don’t think you sound like you believe it’s a good idea.”

  Julia glances back at Elena, then pulls her eyes from her again. “It’s the best for the ranch.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m sure Penn is really good at this job.”

  “Yes.” Elena sighs. “But she’s not…” She pauses, presses her lips together, then bites her bottom lip lightly. “She’s not you,” she finishes, and when Julia finally finds the courage to look at her, she smiles. “So, remember that, okay?”

  Hearing that from Elena’s mouth makes Julia’s chest tighten in a way she’s only experienced one other time in her life. “I don’t want to lose you.” Julia hears the whispered words come out of her mouth and realizes she’s said the thought out loud. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she says, sitting upright, rubbing her palms on her knees.

  “Don’t be,” Elena says gently, mimicking Julia’s position. Julia watches Elena’s eyes and how her gaze shifts down to her feet. “I feel the same way.”

  “Maybe we can talk about this one day? Not here, of course, while everyone is sleeping literally steps from us.” Julia motions between the sleeping people and gets a smile and a nod in response.

  “I’d like that,” Elena says, and then in one smooth, fluid move, she gets up from the couch. After grabbing the bowls from around the family room, she turns the TV off, then moves over to pull the blanket on Cole around his shoulders. She places a hand on his forehead and whispers some words in Spanish to him. Julia doesn’t catch them all, but she does hear te quiero and mijo, which, for some reason, makes her heartbeat speed up. Is it sad to say she’s even more enamored with Elena after hearing her speak in another language?

  “You know Spanish?” Julia asks when they’re safely in the kitchen.

  “Gloria used to call him mijo. She was Cuban.” Elena glances down, then back up at Julia. “I try to keep the memory of her alive for him.”

  “That’s really special.”

  “It’s really sad, is what you mean.” Elena cros
ses her arms and leans against the doorframe by the front door.

  “No.” Julia shakes her head. “It’s special. I never had that.”

  Elena chuckles. “An overprotective mother?”

  “A mother.” She makes her way past Elena and opens the front door. “I’d better get going. Big day tomorrow.”

  Elena stops Julia by placing her hand on Julia’s arm. “What? Julia, are you serious?”

  Julia nods. “I’m okay, though.”

  After taking a step closer, Elena takes Julia’s wrist in her hand and wraps her thin fingers around it. “You’re lying to me.”

  “I promise I’m okay.”

  “You’re a horrible actress.”

  Julia’s mind flashes back to how she thought she was a great actress, and she wants to smile and laugh.

  “You can talk to me,” Elena says quietly.

  “Herding starts tomorrow.” Julia’s voice is strained; clearly, her racing heartbeat isn’t the only thing affected by Elena’s touch.

  Elena takes another step closer to Julia, the space between them getting smaller and smaller. “You’ll be great,” Elena says. “As always.” She tightens her grip around Julia’s wrist, then pulls gently on her. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t pull away. Don’t run—”

  “I won’t,” Julia says. “You don’t either.”

  Elena tilts her head and lets out a laugh. “And leave all this?” She looks around the house and motions outside through her low laughter, letting go of Julia’s wrist and running her fingers along Julia’s forearm.

  She nods, then waits a half second before turning to walk through the front door. She says her good-bye, feels the warmth still radiating from her wrist, and wishes she had the courage to kiss Elena Bennett.

  Chapter Eleven

  Julia smooths her hand down Leia’s side after she tightens the riggings on the horse’s saddle. “Good job,” she says, making sure to pat the horse’s neck affectionately. She hears Elijah talking to his horse as he walks her to the saddle station. “Good morning,” she says.

  He smiles, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. “Well, good morning to you. How are you on this fine day?”

  “Why are you in such a good mood?”

  He looks at Julia with his eyebrows raised and tilts his head. “No reason,” he says, his grin almost too much to handle.

  “Oh my God!” Julia’s scrunches her face when she realizes what he’s talking about, holds her hand up, and shakes her head. “Please stop! Spare me the details!”

  Elijah lets out a hearty laugh as he lays the saddle blanket on Jazz’s back, then hoists the saddle on next. “Well, you asked.”

  “I will never ask again,” Julia almost shouts.

  “Speaking of good evenings…How was yours? Did you enjoy the movie?”

  Julia continues to pet Leia’s head as she thinks about how she left things with Elena. She has some regrets in her life, but not kissing Elena last night may be her biggest one right now. “It was really great, actually. I can’t believe you guys fell asleep.”

  “Oh, we weren’t sound asleep,” Elijah says and smiles.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Elijah moves around Jazz, tightening the riggings and the straps. He pulls on the saddle to check it and looks at Julia over his shoulder. “I think it’s fairly obvious.”

  “I have literally no idea what you’re talking about, Elijah,” Julia says. “Honestly. What the hell?”

  “Let’s just say, it’s obvious to us what’s going on. And you know we’re totally okay with it. I mean, aside from you not really telling us much about yourself…”

  Julia feels the cooler morning air get instantly heavy and hot. “Wait a second. What do you mean?”

  “You,” Elijah says, “and Elena.”

  “What about us?”

  Elijah readjusts the bridle on Jazz, then turns toward Julia. “City Girl, I know you’re supposed to be pretty quick on the uptake, but damn, I feel like I’m really needing to spell this out for you.”

  “Well, yeah, because I’m lost, man. Seriously.” Julia wants to capture this moment so she can show Elena later and say, And you think I’m a horrible actress, eh?

  Elijah pulls on Jazz’s lead, and they start to walk past Julia and Leia. “Let’s go. Daylight’s burnin’,” he says with a grin as they make their way out of the stables.

  Julia rolls her eyes when she looks at Leia. “What a weirdo,” she says to the horse and receives a snort in return.

  As they follow Elijah and Jazz outside, a steady stream of cars arrives at the ranch. Julia watches as a conversion van side door slides open, and one man after another after another stumbles out. Eight men in total, all shouting at each other: one of them yawns, another laughs, and another punches one in the back, which starts a small scuffle. It looks like a band of fools, but Elijah leans over and says they’re a group of rodeo clowns that always help out.

  “Like legit rodeo clowns? Seriously?” Julia asks, her voice low.

  “As a heart attack.” Elijah motions toward the one with a very full gray beard. “Don’t mess with that one. He’s a real live wire.”

  The bartender from Julia’s first day in town pulls up in an Oldsmobile that looks as big as a boat. Next is Toni and Agnes climbing out of an old station wagon with wood paneling along the sides. Agnes pulls an old crossbow out of the way back of the wagon and slings it over her shoulder while shouting something about Toni’s short shorts making her look like a hooker.

  “Elijah,” Julia says calmly. He turns back and looks at her and nods. “Why does Agnes have a crossbow?”

  “She’s the protection.”

  “From what?”

  “Mountain lion. Bear.” Elijah chuckles when he sees Julia’s shocked expression. “She’s a sure shot. Just wait.”

  “What about a gun? Or like, someone who isn’t eighty-five years old?”

  “She could hit a target from a hundred yards out, City Girl,” he says, pointing at her. “Don’t you let her hear you calling her an old woman, either. She’ll shoot you next.”

  “Christ,” Julia mumbles under her breath. She sees Toni jogging up to her and motions to her clothes. “I like your ranch hand attire.”

  Toni laughs and takes a very elegant bow. “Why, thank you, miss. Of course, I am just here to look pretty and help with the food. Besides, you and your guns look like they can handle it,” she says while slugging Julia on the arm.

  “Look at this, the city girl is really settling in,” Agnes shouts while walking up to Elijah, who’s been joined by Cole and Caroline. “You look like you were made to strut around in those boots and Wranglers there, missy. Maybe you should consider staying here for good.”

  Julia smiles and looks down at the ground after shoving her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “Yeah, well, I’m sure I’ll wear out my welcome eventually.”

  They all chuckle until, from behind them, Penn’s voice breaks the laughter with a snide “I’m sure your welcome is already wearing thin, my friend.”

  Julia shakes her head before she shouts after her, “You should know better than anyone when a welcome is worn out.” She mumbles, “Bitch,” under her breath and starts to walk away. She feels Toni grab on to her bicep.

  “Don’t let Penn get to you,” she says quietly.

  “I won’t. But I am hoping a bear attacks her. Is that wrong?”

  Agnes lets out a low chuckle and leans in closer to Julia. “I won’t shoot if I see that happening. Deal?”

  “Deal.” She’s happy to know she isn’t the only one that is having issues with this woman being here.

  “Ed!” Elijah shouts as a slender older man with a bald head comes walking toward them. He pushes his dark-framed glasses up the ridge of his nose and waves before shaking Elijah’s outstretched hand.

  “We haven’t seen you in forever. How was vacation?” Caroline asks.

  “It was wonderful,”
the man replies. A golden retriever comes running up behind him. Everyone starts petting the dog, whose name, she learns, is Bentley. Ed turns and looks at Julia. “You must be Julia, the new ranch hand. I’m Ed. I help Elena with the business side. Not great with the physical side,” he says with a laugh. “But I try.”

  Julia smiles. “It’s really great to meet you.”

  “Likewise. Boy, am I glad to be back in beautiful Colorado.” He pauses when he sees Penn over by the barn. “What the heck is she doing back? How long have I been gone?”

  Elijah snorts and shakes his head. “About a week. She’s staying through the herding, then she’s gone. According to Elena.”

  “Oh, Lord.” Ed sighs. “What does Penn have to say about that?”

  “She’s going to try to win Elena over, apparently,” Julia says, clearly irritated.

  Ed glances from Julia to Elijah to Caroline and back to Julia. “Interesting that you barely know Penn, and you feel all the same feelings we do,” he says. “I am going to get along just fine with you, Julia.”

  “We actually call her City Girl,” Elijah says as he drapes an arm over Julia’s shoulders.

  “It really is a perfect nickname.” Toni smiles and crosses her arms. “I’d like to think I helped come up with it, but sadly, it was all Elijah.”

  “You all suck!” Julia says just as she sees Elena coming out of the barn leading Samwise.

  Penn is following with Sully, and Ed gasps. “She’s not!”

  “Oh, I think she is,” Elijah says softly.

  “What the hell?” Julia rolls her eyes. “That’s bullshit.”

  “No, that’s Penn. She gets what she wants.”

  “We will see about that,” Julia replies calmly. “We will definitely see.”

  * * *

  The ride to the ridge is just as much of an awesome experience as it was the first time. Julia and Leia are walking near the back of the group, taking in the view, trying to soak up as much knowledge as possible. Cole and Sweetie are beside her. Sweetie and Leia seem to get along really well, which makes Julia very happy. They are next to Agnes in the red Ford while three of the rodeo clowns sit in the back with the alfalfa and hay that will be spread out for the cattle as they make their way home. Agnes laughs at Julia when she asks how she got so good at shooting.

 

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