I nodded. Of course I’d had a fantastic time, how could I not, but at the same time I’d missed Anna so much it was as if I’d left a piece of me behind. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her and worrying about her. A thousand scenarios had rushed through my brain every hour of every day – every single one of them bad. I hadn’t been able to relax the whole time.
“It was fantastic, nice to be back though,” I answered. “I got Chinese food. Why don’t you go up and eat with the other two then come back down again once you’re done?” I suggested, holding out the far guards’ bag of food to him.
His eyes lit up. “Yeah? Great, thanks!”
“Call Dean. Tell him that the food’s here and to get the hell out of my place,” I instructed, only half joking as we stepped into the elevator. I didn’t want to have to share Anna with Dean.
Peter laughed, immediately pulling out his cell phone and dialling. “Dude, Ashton’s here. He bought Chinese food, and he said to get the hell out of his apartment so that he can seduce his woman,” Peter joked, laughing wickedly.
I smiled down at the floor. He had no idea how close on the money he was there with that statement.
As we stepped out of the elevator on our floor, I tried extremely hard not to speed walk with a huge grin on my face. My heart was slamming in my chest with apprehension. My hands were shaking with excitement as I balanced all of the bags in one hand and slid the key in the lock with the other. As I pushed open the door, Dean was walking towards me, smiling.
“Hey, Ashton, you have a good time?”
“Incredible,” I confirmed. “Any problems?”
He shifted on his feet, flicking his eyes over my shoulder for a split second before shaking his head. “Nope, nothing,” he replied.
I detected his unease, but at the same time, movement behind him caught my attention and my eyes landed on her. My world seemed to stop spinning as she leant against the wall, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip and fiddling with her hands. Air rushed out of my lungs. She was so damn beautiful. It seemed like every time I looked away from her and then saw her again, I fell more in love with her. They did say that absence made the heart grow fonder, but I’d never quite understood that phrase until now.
“Good. Food is next door. We’ll catch up later.” I put my bags down by the door and motioned for him to leave, but I was unable to take my eyes from the most beautiful thing in the world.
“See you later then,” he chuckled to himself as he left, closing the door behind him.
Bending down, I dug around in the top of my weekend bag, finding the single white rose that I’d bought for her at the airport. It was a little squashed and wilted from the trip, but hopefully she’d appreciate the gesture. Her gaze didn’t leave me as I walked towards her deliberately slowly, letting my eyes wander over her, taking her all in again, as if for the first time. She had a dazzling smile on her face. Her eyes shone with love and tenderness; I couldn’t look away from them. I stopped directly in front of her, our bodies merely inches apart. Neither of us spoke; I could feel the love swelling inside me, making my whole body tingle and my stomach tie up in knots.
Raking my eyes over her face, I realised then how tired she looked. Her eyes were slightly pink and shadows resided underneath. She hadn’t slept well at all this weekend, and had lied to me to cover it up. That knowledge almost killed me. The thought of her having a nightmare was tearing me up inside.
She was wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of leggings, her hair was pulled back into a messy twist. Even sleep deprived, she looked incredible. Before I’d left, I’d memorised every little detail, every curve and line, the exact placement of the five little freckles she’d gotten from the sun on our vacation. But seeing them in the flesh now, I realised that the memory version of her didn’t even come close to doing her justice.
“Hi,” I whispered, knowing my voice wouldn’t work if I tried to speak properly.
Her smile grew even bigger. “Hi.”
I held out the rose. As her hand closed over it, she didn’t even look at it, her eyes never left mine. Unable to stop myself, I bent my head forward and captured her soft lips with mine just for a second, before wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly. Her arms looped around my neck, and her body sagged against mine as she pressed her face into the side of my neck and inhaled deeply. I smiled at the reason behind it. She’d once told me that I smelt like safety and home.
Her breath came out in a contented sigh as her arms tightened around me, clamping herself to my chest. “I missed you so much, Ashton,” she mumbled against my neck.
I grinned. “Not half as much as I missed you.”
“Really? Well then, you missed me a lot,” she teased.
I nodded in confirmation. “Hell yeah I did.” I bent my knees and held her tighter as I stood back up, lifting her off her feet. Instantly, her legs wrapped around my waist. I stalked across the lounge to the sofa, laying her down and settling myself on top of her, loving the feel of her under me. I had missed her so much that I couldn’t even put it into words.
With her fingertip, she traced the bridge of my nose, across my cheek and then her hand tangled into the back of my hair. “Did you have fun?” she asked, smiling.
I nodded. “I had a great time, Baby Girl. Thank you.” Lying on top of her was far better, if I was honest.
“I’m glad. So, are you not hungry for a change? You left the food by the front door,” she teased.
I shrugged, pressing down onto her, pinning her underneath me as I brushed her hair away from her face. “Yeah I am, but I’d rather lie here with you.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Wow, you did miss me, huh? Thank you for the rose,” she whispered, finally looking at it.
I laughed quietly, proud that it had taken her this long to actually look at it because she was too concerned with looking at me. “You’re welcome. So, you slept okay then?” I inquired, raising one eyebrow in challenge. I actually wasn’t sure if she would lie right to my face.
She bit her lip and nodded, averting her eyes. “Yeah, fine.”
I sighed and shook my head. “No you didn’t, Anna.”
A frown lined her forehead as her hand tightened in the back of my hair. “No, you’re right, I didn’t. But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re home now,” she stated, tickling her fingers on the back of my neck.
I decided to let it go, there was nothing I could do about it now and I didn’t want to ruin the reunion by getting angry and lecturing her about something I couldn’t change. Sure, I wished she’d called me and I would have gladly come home to be with her, but I understood why she didn’t. Her selflessness was one of the things I loved the most about her.
“Yeah, I’m home now,” I whispered. I was definitely home, she was my home.
She smiled gratefully, and her shoulder relaxed as she guided my mouth down to hers. I moaned in the back of my throat, kissing her back immediately. The kiss was getting hotter and hotter by the second as our tongues danced in perfect synchronism. My body was on high alert, wanting things to go further. I longed to peel her clothes off and run my hands and mouth over every inch of her, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. My jeans were becoming tight across the groin as I struggled to contain my excitement. The way that Anna managed to wrap me around her little finger with one kiss should surely be illegal.
When I pulled back and broke the kiss a couple of minutes later, my lips were still tingling. Since the vacation, I’d been trying to keep my distance and give her space to miss me, trying to make her see that she wanted to be with me – but, much to my frustration, it hadn’t worked at all. My body was screaming at me, demanding that I lean in, close the distance and kiss her again, carry her to the bedroom and have her moan my name in that sexy way that she does. She was looking at me tenderly, her gaze travelling over my face. I smiled at the love and passion I could see shining in her eyes, the kiss had excited her too. I could practically feel the sexual tension in the air. I br
ushed a loose hair off her forehead, savouring the feel of her flushed skin under my fingertips. Just as I was about to give in to my body’s urges and kiss her again, her stomach rumbled loudly.
I laughed, grinning down at her. “Come on, let’s eat. I got you chicken chow mein,” I offered, pushing myself off her.
She smiled excitedly and followed me out to the kitchen, wrapping her arms around me from behind as I served up the food. “Next time I buy you something that you have to travel for, I’m coming with you, okay?” she mumbled into my back, slipping her hand up my T-shirt and teasing the small patch of hair beneath my navel.
I smiled at her words. “That’s absolutely fine with me, Baby Girl.”
She sighed contentedly. She was pressed so tightly against me that I could feel her heart beating against my back. I turned and wrapped my arms around her waist, dipping my head and kissing her forehead. Everything fell back into place. The piece of me that had been missing over the weekend had now returned, making me whole again.
Chapter Twelve
~ Anna ~
The call for our flight cut through my fuzzy, almost asleep brain. I raised my head off Ashton’s shoulder and looked up at the TV screen that now showed our flight was finally ready to board. We’d been camped out in the airport for the last three hours because it was delayed. My head pounded because I’d just dozed off for ten minutes before the screechy speakers had announced we were ready to board.
Ashton smiled over at me sadly with those beautiful eyes that I would give anything to pass onto my children. “Won’t be long now and then we’ll be at the Lake House, and you can go to bed,” he encouraged, as he stood and held down a hand to help me from my seat.
I hadn’t slept very well again last night. This time it wasn’t due to Ashton not being there though, it was merely because of what day it was tomorrow. Jack’s birthday. That was where we were off to now, the Lake House. I was going to pay my respects and visit his grave on his birthday. Of course, not everyone had wanted me to go there. My father was being sworn into office the day after Jack’s birthday, so I was expected to attend the ceremony. Plans had been made, without my agreement, for me and Ashton to fly into Washington tomorrow so that we could both attend a dinner party the night before my father was inaugurated. No one understood when I refused and said that I had to go and see Jack first. Everyone – even Jack’s parents – had assured me that Jack wouldn’t mind if I didn’t go this year and that I could go the day after, or just think about him without being at his grave. The only one that seemed to listen to me was Ashton. When I’d gone to him, crying, telling him how much it meant to me that I visit Jack, he’d arranged everything, talked my father into it, and even called Maddy to rearrange our flights. He’d been a superstar campaigning for me and what I wanted. As usual, I owed him a lot.
Even though it was going to mean a lot of travelling, Ashton and I were heading to the Lake House tonight so that I could go and see Jack for his birthday for a few hours, and then tomorrow night we were flying into Washington so that we could attend the ceremony the following day. After the ceremony we would jet back to Arizona again to carry on with life as usual – except this time I would officially be the First Daughter.
As Ashton and I made our way onto the plane, I pressed myself tightly to his side and wove my fingers through his. All week I’d been clingy and extra cuddly. I knew I was doing it, but I just couldn’t help myself. Luckily for me though, he’d not complained and asked me for more space or told me I was stifling him. In fact, I think he’d quite liked me hanging on him and cuddling up to him all the time.
By the time we arrived at the Lake House, it was after ten in the evening. My parents were already in Washington, preparing to move into the White House. Therefore, the Lake House looked a little bare and lifeless. The only people here were the caretaking staff.
Silently, I led Ashton up to my bedroom and curled in my bed without even taking my clothes off. I was exhausted, not so much physically, but mentally. It was hard being back here. It was hard knowing that tomorrow I would have to go and wish happy birthday to a boy that I had gotten killed. It was even harder knowing that I had promised to love him forever, when I was now hopelessly in love with someone else.
Behind me, Ashton climbed into the bed, wrapping his body around mine. As usual, his touch made me feel better and took some of the edge off the sadness that was creeping over me and slowly pulling me under. It was almost as if Ashton had some kind of magic spell over me that could calm my nerves.
“Goodnight, Baby Girl,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.
“Night,” I replied, trying not to feel guilty for loving him so much.
When I woke in the morning it was early, in fact, it wasn’t even six o’clock. Ashton’s low snore was still rumbling behind me, so I crept out of the bed, unable to lie still now that I was awake. My body was twitching with unease and anxiety, and I knew there was only one way to calm myself down. After pulling on a pair of leggings and a T-shirt, I silently slipped out of the bedroom and made my way down to the gym.
When I stepped through the door, I stopped. The place that I used to frequent daily, now seemed a little weird and unfamiliar. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I used to exercise away my problems.
Out of habit, I cranked up the air-conditioning and headed over to the treadmill, starting off on a slow walk to let my muscles warm up. Once I was ready, I started building up speed until I was at a slow, leisurely jog. I stared at the speedometer as my finger hovered above the plus button. I knew that I shouldn’t go faster, something inside me was telling me no, but I just couldn’t stop myself. I pressed the button over and over, making the belt at my feet turn faster and faster until I was at a flat out run.
Within ten minutes, my muscles were screaming at me to stop, my breath was coming out in pants and sweat ran down my neck and back. I knew that Ashton didn’t like me to run like this… but Ashton wasn’t here right now, and I didn’t want to keep thinking about Jack and how he should have been twenty today. I didn’t want to think about how he should be half way into his medical degree, or how he probably would have joined the college football team. I didn’t want to think about the fact that he was gone and that it was entirely my fault. I sped up a little on the treadmill, running as fast as I could to block out the grief and the thoughts that were trying to pull me under, but this time I was unable to outrun my problems.
When my knees wobbled and I almost fell, I knew it was time to give up. As I slowed down to a walk, I gasped for breath, pulling at the neck of my T-shirt because it felt tight all of a sudden. Once the treadmill came to a standstill, my legs gave way and I slumped to my knees heavily. Instantly, my whole body hurt and my leg muscles cramped and seized. Pressing my forehead to the floor, I gritted my teeth against the pain, gripping my thighs as tears slid down my face and fell onto the floor.
“Shit,” I hissed.
“You okay, Baby Girl?” Ashton asked suddenly, reaching out to rub my back and legs.
I jumped and let out a little squeal because I hadn’t realised that he was in the room. “Shit, it hurts so much!” I hissed through my teeth, unable to move from the little ball on the floor that I’d curled into. He sighed and continued to massage my thighs. After a few minutes, I twisted my head to the side to look at him. The sad and disappointed look on his face made my heart sink and guilt twist in my gut. The disappointed look on his face was so much worse than the disapproving scowl that usually followed one of my intense sessions. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” I apologised. I hadn’t walked into the gym planning on running like that, I’d just needed a distraction and my old habits and coping methods had taken over.
Ashton nodded sadly. “I know. It’s okay; I know why you did it.”
“Please don’t look at me like that, I can’t stand it,” I begged, feeling my chin tremble as I looked away from him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. He let out another heavy sigh as he tugged on my hand and tried
to pull me into his lap. I shook my head in protest. “I can’t I’m all sweaty.”
He laughed incredulously as a playful smirk slipped onto his face. “I like you sweaty,” he replied, tugging on my arm again. “Just do as you’re told for once and come here.”
I sniffed, swiping at the tears that were now falling down my face and complied with his request, manoeuvring myself into his lap and setting my head on his chest as his arms engulfed me. His hands resumed massaging my thighs softly.
“Are you okay? You want me to run you a bath or something?” he offered.
I lifted my head, looking into his caring eyes. “Why are you not shouting at me for doing that?”
He sighed, his forehead lined with a frown. “Anna, I understand why you do it. You haven’t done it for so long so something must really be bothering you.”
I closed my eyes, not being able to look at his face anymore. “I was just thinking about Jack’s birthday. He would have been twenty today.” He pulled me closer to his chest, wiping the sweat from my forehead, but not saying anything. When I opened my eyes, I saw that same disappointed expression on his face. My chin trembled, and I silently wished he’d just shout at me, it would be easier. “Please don’t keep looking at me like that. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” I promised, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.
“Looking at you like what?” he asked, confused.
I shook my head. “Like you’re disappointed. It’s not nice to see, I can’t stand it.”
“I am disappointed, Anna,” he replied, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
A lump formed in my throat at his admission. “I know, I’m sorry.” I turned my face into his T-shirt, trying to block out the sight of his face.
“I’m not disappointed in you, Baby Girl. I’m disappointed in myself,” he said sadly.
I snapped my head up to look at him. Disappointed in himself? What on earth does that mean? “What? Why?”
Blurring the Lines Page 15