by Ella Miles
“Now, be a man and put your mother out of her misery. She’s in pain, much worse pain than you are. Show her mercy.”
The boy’s eyes are filled with tears as he looks at his mother.
She looks back and tells him she loves him. Then she looks at the man and tells him she loves him too.
How messed up is that? She still loves this man who is most likely responsible for her death and for her son’s pain. But I realize then that you don’t get to choose who or how you love. You can’t prevent it or stop it, no matter how much a person fails you, you still love them.
That’s when I vowed I would never fall in love—never.
Finally, the boy lifts the gun with too many tears in his eyes, and he fires.
I finish the story and look at Kai, who is crying buckets. I would be too if I hadn’t already cried too many tears for that broken boy. That boy who was hurt more than any person ever should.
“Enzo killed his mother?”
“No, his father did. Enzo simply pulled the trigger. But that was the day Enzo learned he could never love. He’d be punished for loving, alongside the person he loved. And that he wasn’t strong enough to save those he loved. But it didn’t stop him from trying.”
I’ve stayed away from the boy since that night. He scares me, but his father scares me more. I hide in the guest room, doing my school work there so I never have to leave. I’m not even sure they know I exist. I don't let them see me. The house has too many ghosts and demons, and I've learned to stay as far away as possible. I won’t even swim in the pool out back, even when I know the boy and his father have gone.
I've become my own ghost. I lock myself in my room and pretend I'm Rapunzel locked away in a tower until her prince comes. But unlike Rapunzel, I will never be rescued.
Mother went into town to buy us groceries. And the water calls to me. The longing to swim in the beautiful pool pulls me out of the safety of my bedroom.
I think they were gone. They often are. The father takes his son out on missions for weeks at a time. I don’t know where they go, just that they are gone. The sun seems to shine a little brighter over the house when they are gone.
Mom bought me a swimsuit only last week. A simple bikini for my newly starting to bloom body. I am a teenager now. And I deserve to get to leave my room. My mother has tried everything to get me out of the room, not realizing the danger lurking so close to our home. She doesn’t realize the evil man she works for, or if she does, she pretends he would never turn his evil gaze our way.
So I take a chance. I put on the bikini, and I creep out to the empty pool. The pool is rarely used. The boy occasionally sneaks out to swim, but he never throws any parties. And the father never swims.
The blue of the pool practically sparkles, inviting me in. And so I jump in, not bothering to hide my splash. Mom said we were allowed to use the amenities. And I have occasionally seen staff use the pool when the father was gone so I know it is allowed.
But it still feels wrong to enjoy something so grand.
But once I start swimming back and forth, I realize how right it feels. The water feels fantastic, and my muscles ache to get some exercise.
I swim hard, imagining I am a dolphin swimming free in the ocean. I would gladly turn into a dolphin and trade my sad life to become an animal. It has to be better than my pathetic life where I am destined to become a maid like my mother.
I hear another splash, and I stop, hoping it’s one of the staff members. When I surface though, panic shoots through me.
It’s the boy.
Although, I'm not sure I can call him that anymore. He looks like a man now, even though he's not older than fifteen. His muscles are large and defined. He has a six pack, or is it an eight pack? I can’t tell as half his abs are submerged under the water.
“I’m sorry,” I say, swimming toward the ladder to climb out.
“Don’t go, Liesel.”
He knows my name. He knows I exist.
I stop and stare at him. “How long have you known who I am?”
“Since the first day when you saw my mother die.”
“How?”
He shrugs. “It’s my job to know about everyone who lives and works in this house. And my room looks down into your room. I watch you sleep most nights.”
“Don’t you sleep?” I ask, feeling like he’s a vampire from Twilight or something.
“No, never.”
I frown. No one can never sleep. You need sleep to survive.
“I like what you did to the room. The pink suits you, and I like all the glitter you added.”
I blush.
And then our world changes. His father yells in the distance, and the boy’s ears immediately perk, sensing the danger.
“I have to go, you should go inside,” he says.
I nod. I need to avoid the man at all costs.
We both climb out of the pool. I didn’t even remember to bring a towel, so I drip the entire way back to the guest house my mom and I are staying in.
The boy starts running toward the house. The boy that knows everything about me, but I don't know anything about him.
“Wait…what’s your name?” I ask.
He hesitates, looking at me like I’m a lost cat.
“Black. My name is Enzo Black.”
And then the boy is gone.
Black. It’s such a dark name. A name meant to send chills to anyone who thinks of crossing him.
I smile, watching the boy disappear. Maybe living here will be more tolerable than I thought. The boy didn’t say it, but I know he’s been watching over me, protecting me from the darkness. He will keep me safe here. He will become a friend, and then my life won't be so miserable anymore.
The smile remains as I walk back to the guest house. I am so lost in my own little piece of happiness, I don't notice the shadow covering the door. I don't notice the man creating the shadow. I don’t notice the evil finally come for me.
“Black!” I scream as the man’s hands grab me. But I know it’s too late. The boy won’t be able to save me. Not this time. This time evil won.
17
Kai
I try to hold in my tears, listening to Liesel’s story, but she makes it impossible not to embrace everything she felt.
Enzo’s life was a nightmare. His father trained him to become evil like him. He forced him to shoot his own mother to end her suffering, and then his father hurt the only friend Enzo had: Liesel.
I know Liesel didn’t tell me the story so I would feel sorry for her. She told me to better understand her and Enzo’s relationship. She told me their history to teach me a lesson.
“Enzo’s father raped or beat me several times over the next few months. It was the worst time of my life,” Liesel says.
I swallow down my tears, doing everything I can to listen and understand her pain.
“Enzo’s father did unthinkable things to Enzo. Tortured him in the worst possible ways to try and make him strong enough to become Black. But Enzo would rather have the pain himself than watch someone he loves getting hurt.”
“He loved you,” I say, agreeing.
She shakes her head. “He wouldn’t let himself after what happened to his mother. The only people he ever let himself love are Langston and Zeke, and he only allows himself that love because they chose this life. And he knows whether he loves them or not, they are going to put themselves at risk right next to him.”
I shake my head. “He loves you, Liesel.”
“No, I tried for years to get him to love me like I loved him. When we were teenagers, he learned to piss his father off enough so he would torture him instead of me. He took the punishment meant for me. And of course, I fell in love with him for protecting me. But he wouldn’t let himself fall for me.
“When we got older, I persuaded him to date. It didn’t last long. And even though we were both screwed up, I fell hard. He was the one for me. He protected me. He saved me. He worshipped me. And he vowed to never let
another man hurt me again. The fucking was incredible, and his lifestyle was intoxicating. But he never let himself love me. Eventually, he realized he was hurting me more than helping me by dating me, so he broke it off.”
For the first time since Liesel started talking, I see tears in her eyes.
“I loved him, and he broke me. And I can’t ever heal from that.”
I want to tell her how sorry I am. I want to tell her how I understand. But I can’t. It won’t make her feel any better.
“Enzo can’t save those that he loves, so he doesn’t allow himself to fall in the first place.”
“But he protected you,” I say.
“Only after months of abuse.”
I suck in a breath, realizing what Liesel is saying.
“Enzo can’t protect those he loves.
“He couldn’t save his mother.
“He couldn’t protect me.
“He’d rather face the pain himself.”
“What do you want me to do, Liesel? I know that’s the point of the story. Some lesson.”
She cocks her head, shielding her eyes from the sun so she can look at me. “Not a lesson, but a warning. Enzo will never love you. I know you’ve already fallen for him. But you have to let him go.”
“And what if I can’t?” I whisper, clutching my coffee in my hands like it’s a lifeline.
“Then protect him like he would protect any of us.”
“How?”
“You already know the answer to that.”
I nod. I do. Enzo can’t handle those he cares about in pain. He can’t handle not being able to save them. He can’t handle not being enough.
“Promise me you will protect him, put his needs above your own desire to play superhero,” Liesel says.
“I promise,” I say, knowing exactly what I’m promising. That I have to keep myself safe at all costs, even if Enzo gets physically hurt. Because that hurts him less than seeing me suffer.
Liesel and I don’t speak again. We just drink and soak up the sun, waiting for Enzo to finish his surveillance of Milo’s residence.
I thought this whole time I was the broken one. That I was the one who needed healing. Enzo may refuse to love, but he couldn’t stop the feeling from happening. His love saved me. And maybe my love can heal him back.
But what happens if I were to succeed? If I healed him and showed him he is capable of loving? And that love is what makes life worth living. That he can’t fear it. Then what?
Would he choose me, a broken girl who he has to fight for an empire? Or would he pick his childhood friend, who has never betrayed him?
18
Enzo
I know everything there is to know about Milo Wallace.
I know he’s as evil and cruel as my father was.
I know he already bought a new whore to replace Kai.
I know his mansion in Italy is impossible to tackle without risking suicide.
I know he owns several of my yachts and prefers the sea, like I do.
I know he’s a monster I will soon kill.
And I know I need to go interrupt whatever is happening between Kai and Liesel, because both of them are strong-willed and not afraid of a fight. And if I leave them alone for too long, one of them is going to end up going overboard.
I walk to the pool deck and find them both tanning themselves in their bikinis while sipping on mimosas.
They aren’t speaking, which might be a good thing. It means they aren’t planning anything against me.
“It looks like you two have spent your time productively,” I say as I lie down on one of the loungers next to Kai. I’m wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, and there is no way I will last out here in the beating sun dressed like this. But I don’t plan on staying long.
“We had a very productive time,” Liesel says.
I put my hands behind my head, trying to seem relaxed, but I’m anything but. Not when two of the people I care most about have spent the morning together most likely threatening each other. “So does that mean you are friends now?”
“No, just not enemies,” Kai answers.
I look at her, searching her eyes for more truth, but she’s not going to give it to me. I look over at Liesel, and she’s as much as a closed book as Kai is.
These women are my everything. They are both smart, beautiful, and fearless. They have both faced more evil than any person should.
I should have fallen for one of them by now, but I can’t. I can’t love.
And both of these women deserve more than I can give them.
I look at Liesel, my childhood friend I've tried to protect with my life countless times. Sometimes I was able to save her, sometimes I wasn’t. But when we became adults, I vowed no one would hurt her. No one has. I’ve at least kept that promise.
And then I look at Kai, a woman I’ve let down so many times. And in many ways, I have failed more than Liesel.
Liesel learned a long time ago I’m not worth loving.
But I’m not sure Kai has learned the same lesson yet. I need to remind her we are enemies at the end of the day. That we are two people drawn together by the need to fuck, nothing more.
I want to go remind Kai of that lesson right now. Take her to my bedroom and fuck her hard instead of gentle, remind her I’m rotten to my core. But I don’t want to hurt Liesel.
Liesel may know there is no chance at us having anything more, but I don’t want her to think there is any chance I’ll be with Kai either. I just want to fuck her.
“Go,” Liesel says, dropping her sunglasses over her eyes, looking bored.
“Go where? We are in the middle of the fucking ocean, Liesel.”
She raises her sunglasses so I can see her roll her eyes. “Go fuck her.”
Kai freezes at Liesel’s words.
Liesel starts shooing us away, and I’m not going to miss out on a chance to fuck Kai. If Liesel is okay with it, then I’m not going to miss this opportunity.
I grab Kai’s hand and pull her to me.
She blinks rapidly, and I can already feel her pulse speeding just being in my arms.
“We should stay. It’s not fair to leave Liesel all alone,” Kai says.
Liesel laughs. “I’ve been alone my entire life. I think I can handle a few hours alone on this big fancy expensive yacht. Although, if we do ever decide to make port, I will be bringing some boy toys on for me to play with. It’s only fair.”
“Come on,” I tug on Kai’s hand. Liesel is a big girl. She knows I want Kai. And whatever these two talked about while I was gone didn’t change anything. They still hate each other and with good cause. I used to fuck Liesel. She used to be everything to me. And that makes Kai jealous. But now I’m with Kai, and that pisses Liesel off.
I can’t win. I’m an asshole. I deserve any grief I get from either of these women.
I hold onto Kai’s hand as I pull her down to our cabins. She doesn’t resist, but she doesn’t walk willingly either.
I unlock the main door to our cabins and slam her body into the door as it shuts, caging her in with my body and raging emotions.
I didn’t realize how badly I wanted her until Liesel pointed it out. Something about hunting an evil man who wants to take Kai from me turns me into a caveman who wants to show the world Kai is mine by fucking her over and over again.
Kai crosses her arms though, seemingly pissed at me. That isn’t going to save her.
“That wasn’t very nice.”
“I would think by now you would realize I’m not a very nice man. In fact, I’m very bad. And I want to be bad with you right now.”
I move in to kiss her neck.
She slaps me.
Which only turns me on more.
“What did Liesel tell you?”
“Everything.”
I nod.
Liesel knows my past better than anyone. She could tell all my secrets. And it appears she did. And now Kai is going to look at me with pity. I don’t want her sympathy. I wa
nt her fire.
“It doesn’t change anything,” I say.
“It changes everything.”
I narrow my gaze, and then grab her wrists, forcing them up over her head so I can kiss her without her stopping me.
I don’t want to talk about feelings and emotions. I don’t want to talk about how I’m as broken as she is. I just want to fuck until we both forget about everything.
My tongue dances over her bottom lip, teasing her and letting her know I have all the power, and there is nothing she can do to stop this. I know all her buttons to press. I know what turns her on, and that pressing those buttons will send us into an endless spiral neither can control. Once we start, her mind will be shut out, and she won’t want to stop us.
But her eyes turn into dangerous blue orbs as she bites at my tongue before I can retreat.
I growl as she holds her grip on my tongue.
When she releases, my tongue darts back into my own mouth. Afraid of the vixen taunting me with her perfect body in her skimpy bikini.
“Really? You don’t want me to fuck you?”
“You have to beg first,” she says, batting her long eyelashes.
Not going to happen, baby, I don’t beg.
“Fine, you aren’t the only woman on this boat. I’m sure Liesel will have no problem playing. She was, after all, looking for a boy toy to play with. And she knows how good I am in the sack,” I say, releasing her and going for the door handle.
Kai slides in front of the door with a scowl I’ve never seen on her face. Not even when I betrayed her by selling her to Milo.
“You are the biggest ass on the planet.”
“And you are the most stubborn. You want to fuck me, so why are you denying yourself?”
“Because we need to do more than just fuck. I have things I want to talk to you about.”
“I’m not in the mood for a game of truth or lies, sweetheart,” I say.
She hisses. “I don’t want to play a game. I want to talk.”
I shake my head. “Not going to happen. Now, do you want to fuck, or should I go find Liesel?” I wouldn’t really fuck Liesel. I would just find a bottle of bourbon and drink with her until the sun fades. But Kai needs to know she isn’t my boss. I am. Liesel may have shared my past, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to talk.