Asher rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No one’s taking you back to your world, little thief.”
“Well, maybe not now, but someday,” I remind him.
No one says anything, and that leaves me feeling more disconcerted than if they were arguing with me.
“You know, you’re quite the little dreamer, thinking we’re going to take you back to your world,” East finally says, rotating on the chair to face me. “And FYI, we’re not canceling the tour because of you. We’re canceling the tour because we broke out of prison on Steel, which means a bounty’s going to be put on us.” A grin spreads across his lips. “So, I guess we’re all wanted creatures now, which means we’ve got to stick together.”
“Does it?” I question.
“Yes, it definitely does.” He places a purposefully kiss on my cheek then downs his drink and sets the empty glass down onto the table. “I think putting the tour on hold is a good idea as long as everyone is fine with that.”
Both him and Asher look at Arrow, who, as always, has been fairly quiet.
“I think it’s a good idea,” he agrees. “But that still leaves the question of where we’re going, because we can’t just fly around forever. We need a destination where we can hide out and figure out some stuff.”
“It might be easier to pick a location if we know the full story,” East tells him then looks at Asher.
Asher gives a nod then turns toward his brother. “Max, I think this might be a good time for you to start explaining everything you know.”
Maxton gives a nod, his face turning a bit pale. “Where do you want me to start?”
“From the beginning,” Asher tells him. “Or, at least from the beginning of when our father told you about Harlynn.”
Maxton’s silver eyes briefly flick to me, then he quietly sighs. “I probably should prepare you before I do. There’s a lot more to this than I’m sure you’ve even thought of.”
“How can you be so sure of that?” Asher questions with a cock of his brow. “Perhaps we know more than you think.”
“You don’t,” he says. “I promise you don’t.”
“Try me,” Asher challenges.
Maxton grinds his teeth from side to side and opens and flexes his hands. “Fine. This all started centuries ago … when Harlynn was first created.”
Harlynn
So, Maxton was right. It is a lot to take in and more than we knew. I mean, sure, Asher had once implied that perhaps I was older than I thought and that maybe my memories had been tampered with. But that I was created? And centuries ago?
Yeah, I’m really struggling with that.
“I’m going to get everyone a drink,” East announces, getting to his feet.
He walks over to the bar, and I find myself wishing he’d come back and put his wing back around me. It was making me feel warm, and now all I feel is cold.
Empty and desolate coldness.
Arrow suddenly slips an arm around me. While his metal is cold, his presence takes a bit of the emptiness away.
I offer him a grateful smile, but it takes a lot of effort, my mind too crammed with questions.
What am I?
Where do I come from?
What parts of my life were real, if any?
“How can she be centuries old if she doesn’t remember it? And she remembers when she was a child,” Asher says to Maxton while shaking his head. “I mean, I’ve heard of creatures’ memories getting tampered with, but there’s usually a purpose for it. So, what’s the purpose? And who did it? And how do we find out what’s real and what’s not?”
East returns to the sofa then with a stack of five glasses and a bottle filled with effervescent faerie wine. “And, what is she?” He sets the five glasses down on the table in front of us, removes the cap from the bottle, and starts filling the glasses. “Because you still haven’t told us that. Although, at the arch, Harlynn mentioned you called her a qui furabatur, which means magic stealer, but that’s not really a creature.” He finishes filling up the glasses, puts the lid back on the faerie wine, and collects a glass.
Asher and Arrow do the same, while Maxton and I just sit there.
East sinks down beside me, picks up another glass, and hands it to me. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel a bit better.”
I shake my head. “I feel fine,” I lie.
“No, you don’t. You’ve hardly said anything, which means you’re overthinking everything.”
He’s right, and I don’t know what to make of that, but it increases my worry, so I take the drink and down a long gulp.
Since Maxton hasn’t picked up his drink either, Asher hands it to him. Maxton looks confused as hell as he stares at the drink.
“What’s wrong?” Asher wonders.
Maxton shrugs. “I’ve never drank before. Well, anything besides water.”
And I thought I hadn’t experienced much of anything.
Maxton isn’t as reluctant as I am, though, and quickly takes a drink. It’s fascinating to watch as he tastes something other than water, his eyes widening, his brows rising.
“That’s … really sweet,” he finally says then takes another sip.
Asher starts to smile then quickly erases it. “Max, you need to tell me what Harlynn is.”
Maxton cups the drink in his hand. “The problem is she’s not just one thing.”
Asher’s brows knit, and he casts a glance at East then me.
I gulp down a shaky breath, trying to appear calmer than I am.
Asher searches my eyes then looks back at Maxton. “What do you mean by that?” he asks cautiously.
Maxton audibly sighs. “A very long time ago—centuries ago—the rulers of at least a dozen worlds got together to form a treaty to protect themselves against wars breaking out on other worlds. But they decided that a treaty wasn’t enough—honestly, I don’t know the full story because our father was very cautious about telling me as little details as possible. What I do know is that, during the time the treaty was created, they also decided to create creatures that would protect their worlds. These creatures were made of the blood of each ruler that attended the treaty ceremony, which means they possess the power of each creature. However—and again, I’m not sure of the details—the treaty was broken and one of the rulers took the created creatures and bounded them to him so they couldn’t do anything without his order. But then, about eighteen years ago, this ruler was killed.
“Right before his death, he rebooted the creatures, wiped their minds clean, and used the last of his powers to scatter them around the worlds. And ever since then, the other rulers and other creatures who are aware of them have been looking for them.”
It grows so silent I can hear the humming of Arrow’s gadgets and the sound of my racing heart. I can barely process what Maxton said. Can barely think as a rushing storm builds inside my head.
“Why do they want these creatures?” Asher asks in a surprisingly calm tone, though his body is stiff, revealing his nervousness.
“Well, in our father’s case, he wants one for their power.” Maxton lifts the glass to his lips, his hand shaking a little as he finishes off the drink. “These creatures, they’re made up of several different bloodlines, which means they have a drop of magic from several different bloodlines, and the result of that means they can steal power from others and channel the power of several different creatures.” He gives a short pause. “They can channel so much power that they can destroy worlds without so much as even batting an eye.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I remember the dream I had last night.
“And let me guess,” Asher bites out. “That’s why our father wants Harlynn.”
The thudding of my heart grows louder, so deafening I can barely hear their words.
What am I?
Where do I come from?
What can I do?
Destruction.
Destruction.
Destruction.
I am destruction.
&
nbsp; I can kill anyone I love.
I can kill anyone if the wrong creature gets ahold of me.
All I am is death.
And I need to be destroyed.
I spring to my feet, hop over Arrow’s legs, and hightail it toward my room.
“Harlynn!” Asher shouts after me.
But all I do is run straight into my room and lock the door. Then I start pacing, clutching the sides of my head that aches from all the thoughts racing through it.
I need to be destroyed—I know that—but how do I do that when I’m not just one thing? Maxton never even said what creatures’ blood runs through my veins. Maybe if I could figure that out, I could figure out a way to destroy myself before I end up disintegrating a planet. Or feeling too much for the guys and killing them.
What am I?
What am I?
What am I?
I move into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look the same, yet I don’t, like the truth has lifted a veil from my mind. But I still feel like I can’t quite see it, see what I really am. Maybe that’s because the truth lies in my blood. The blood that is hidden by my skin, like a mask.
I need to see what’s underneath it.
I peer around for something sharp, and my gaze lands on a set of tweezers. It’s nothing like a knife, but I don’t have one of those laying around, so I’ll have to make do with this.
Sucking in a shaky breath, I drag the tip of it across my forearm. It doesn’t work, so I do it again, pushing harder. Blood trickles out. It’s not red, though; it’s grey, like the pollution that covers my old world’s sky. Toxic.
I am toxic—
“What the fuck are you doing?” East appears in the doorway, his eyes wide with horror as he takes in the scene of me standing there with a pair of tweezers in my hand, grey blood dripping out of my arm.
“Leave me alone,” I say, backing away from him.
He steps toward me. “Fuck off! I’m not going to leave you the fuck alone when you clearly just sliced your arm open!”
His anger throws me off a bit, but I quickly recover.
“I sliced it open so I could see what I am, and I think it’s pretty clear what that is.” I gesture at the grey blood.
The wound is starting to heal, too, which again proves that I’m nowhere near human like I thought I was.
Was that even real? Was my human life even real? Was any of it real?
“No, it’s not clear at all,” East replies, standing in front of me.
I inch back from him, clutching the tweezers in my hand. “It’s grey, not red.”
He gapes at me. “So? Who gives a shit what color your blood is? My blood is blue. Asher’s is silvery. And Arrow doesn’t even bleed.”
“Yeah, but you, Asher, and Arrow aren’t some fucking creature who can destroy planets with just their power,” I bite out. “You’re not some fucking creature who can kill others if you simply love them.”
He rolls his tongue in his mouth, I think struggling to remain in control. “We may have found a way around the curse, Harlynn.”
“I don’t care!” I shout. “Ever since my parents died—or, the humans I believed were my parents—I thought I was this tainted person because of that curse. But I wasn’t just that. I was way worse.”
“No, you’re not,” he starts, taking a step toward me. “You’re not—”
“Yes, I am!” I cut him off, stepping back, my back bumping into the shower. “I’ve felt that power that Maxton was talking about. I’ve dreamt about it … dreamt about destroying planets.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” he says. “Dreams don’t mean anything.”
“I’ve felt the urge in real life, a couple of times, too,” I continue, every part of me shaking as I admit the truth aloud. A truth that maybe I’ve known all along, since the day of the curse. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. “I am evil. I am. And I need to be destroyed—”
He suddenly darts forward, snagging ahold of me and prying the tweezers out of my hand. Then he tosses them aside and cups my face between his hands. “You want to see evil?” He blinks, and those shadows appear in his eyes. “While Penelope was my master, she didn’t just abuse me sexually, she also used me as her own personal experiment. She wanted to figure out a way to make me want her, and she thought the best way to do that was to make me into something more sinister, so she put demon’s blood in me.”
I swallow down a shaky breath as I remember how East mentioned the it.
“And every so often, that darkness rises inside me—it rises inside me,” he continues, holding my gaze. “And when it first started happening, I thought maybe it would be better if I just got rid of myself, because the stuff I think of doing while it’s at the surface of my mind is awful. But, eventually, I learned that I didn’t have to let it control me. That just because I have a little bit of evil blood in me doesn’t mean I have to become that. I can choose what I want to be, and so can you.”
“But I’m different,” I tell him, tears burning my eyes. “I can destroy entire worlds, and there are creatures out there that want to capture me to do just that.”
“So? That doesn’t mean they’re going to,” he says. “We’ve been collecting objects for a while now—powerful objects. And we were going to use those to take down the leaders. But now we’ll use them to take down the creatures that are trying to capture you.”
“That’s a lot of work, and you’d be risking your lives.” I shake my head, fighting back the tears that so desperately want to come out. “It’s not worth it. I’m not worth it. It’d be easier just to get rid of me.”
He slowly shakes his head as he stares at me. “Is this why you risked your life to save that friend of yours?”
“You mean, Jason?” I ask. When he nods, I become even more confused. “What does he have to do with this?”
“He doesn’t,” he says. “I’m just trying to figure out why you view yourself so lowly.”
“I don’t,” I insist.
“No, you do,” he argues. “Any time anything risky has happened to us, you tell us to ditch you. You thought Arrow and I ditched you back on Steel. When your friend Jason got himself into trouble, you risked your life by trying to steal Asher’s lamp. And then, when you did and you got death poison in you, you still tried to save Jason’s life and not yours.”
“I knew I was already going to die,” I tell him, trying to appear confident, but I suddenly feel exposed with things I’m not even certain I was aware existed. “So, why did it even matter?”
“It matters because I think you don’t think that you matter.”
“That’s not what it is.”
“No, I think that’s exactly what it is. I think that you think you don’t matter. I think that’s why you instantly turn to self-blame every time something bad happens.”
“No, I do that because, every time something bad happens, it’s usually my fault,” I bite out as irritation burns through me.
“And I think that’s why, every time I try to compliment you, you get uncomfortable,” he continues, ignoring me. “Which makes me wonder if, before us, anyone ever told you anything good about yourself.”
“I know I’m a good thief,” I argue, my irritation amplifying.
“Yeah?” His brow arches. “Name something else you like about yourself.”
“I …” I rack my brain for something to say, but I’m drawing a blank.
I grit my teeth so forcefully my jaw pops. “I can’t do this right now. Not when I just found out I’m some evil creature.”
“You’re not evil, and if you could see the good in yourself, you’d realize that,” he insists, dropping his hands from my face as I turn my head. “That’s all I’m saying.”
I breathe in and out, avoiding his gaze and struggling to stay in control over myself. “Just shut up.”
“Har,” he says, his voice softening. “Whatever you are, whatever creatures’ blood runs through your veins, you’re still the same H
arlynn who snuck on our vehicle to save her friend and made a bargain with a genie. Who befriended Arrow and made him feel like he was more than just a cyborg. Who didn’t try to use us for our fame. Who always offered herself up when she thought she was bringing risk to the others around her. Who climbed under this damn vehicle when it was surrounded by the worlds patrol and hellhounds so we could fly off.” He places a hand on my cheek. “And you’re still the Harlynn who let Maxton onto this vehicle even when there was a risk he could still be evil.”
“He wasn’t.”
“You didn’t know that for sure.”
“So? He seemed good enough.”
“Which shows the good in you.”
Tears bubble in my eyes. “Stop saying that.”
He shakes his head. “No. Not until you believe it. You’re good. You’re good. You’re good—”
I shove him away as tears drip from my eyes, but he barely budges and grabs onto my arm, jerking me against him. As my head touches his chest, I lose any amount of control I have left in me and the tears come pouring out.
“You’re a good creature,” he says again as he smooths his hand over the back of my head. “And we’re not going to destroy you. We’re going to protect you. Because you’re one of us, and that’s what we do for each other. And, as one of us, you’re going to let us protect you. Do you understand?”
I’m not one for getting bossed around, but I’m too damn tired to argue with him, so I just nod and hold on to him as I try to cry all the pain out of me.
Harlynn
Somehow, in the midst of my crying, exhaustion overcomes me. East moves us to the bed, and the instant my head hits the pillow, my eyes shut.
This sudden wave of exhaustion has happened to me before, and Asher told me once that it was from using too much of my power. This time, however, I think it might be from emotional overload.
I’m unsure how long I’m asleep, but when I open my eyes again, East is lying beside me in the bed. He’s on his side, facing me, with his arm is tucked under my head, and his eyes are closed. As I take him in, everything he said to me slowly trickles back and pressure builds in my chest.
Chasing Steel: Capturing Magic Books 1-3 Page 40