“Thank you, Ezra,” she whispered, not having noticed me yet, her gold eyes seeming unfocused, the color sharply contrasted against the midnight background of her sclera.
She then lifted her hand for one of the pieces of hardened lava, and he carefully placed it in her palm, helping her wrap her fingers around it.
Ezra continued once she brought it up to her mouth.
“I met someone by the river. His name is Michael, and he says he lost his memory. He has a lot of questions.”
The woman’s eyes finally focused then, her golden irises taking a moment to search for me. “Ezra, dear, help me sit up.”
The boy complied immediately, gently grasping her underneath the arms and assisting her.
“Now,” she continued. “Go get Adapa, please. He’s by the Gandilnop.”
The boy nodded, reaching to grab the lava rock I held, before beginning to exit the room with it.
“Couldn’t you just speak to him telepathically?” I interjected without thinking, referring to this Adapa person, only realizing after the fact that I’d gone from being surprised to hear someone do it earlier, only to instantly accept it as fact.
Did that mean my memory was coming back?
However, rather than answer right away, the woman nodded towards Ezra, a silent request for him to do as she’d asked, and then met my gaze again. “Unfortunately, I cannot,” she said evenly. “I lost that capacity many Cycles ago. And even if I could, Adapa is too far away for someone like me to reach, because I come from a different Original.” She then paused, seeming hesitant. “My name is Ruth.”
“Umm, it’s nice to meet you,” I replied, feeling like her introduction was a little cold. Or maybe just hesitant, suspicious, or even nervous – similar to how the boy reacted. I felt like there was more she wanted to say, but wasn’t sure what. I then focused on the shard of lava rock still in her hand. “Oh, did you want to eat first?” I wondered.
Her full medium gray lips turned into a flat line. “If you would be so gracious as to wait on one such as myself. I’m very weak and won’t be able to eat this if it has the opportunity to cool much more. It’s already a miracle my body can still digest it.”
“Of course,” I replied, gesturing for her to go ahead. I then decided to sit down on the other side of the circular room, not wanting to seem aggressive or impatient by standing so close. I also chose to examine the stained-glass instead of staring at her, allowing her to slowly chew the still malleable rock in peace.
I doubted the kid would be back anytime soon, since he was forced to walk everywhere at a slow pace, so I waited in silence.
After her third shard, she spoke again. “It’s rare to meet someone so patient. Especially someone as strong as yourself.”
I looked at her in surprise. “Strong?” I repeated.
She nodded slowly, some of her straight black hair falling loose of her shoulders, hanging in front of her chest. “I was once strong too. Long ago. Many of those towards the pinnacle of power have that ability – to sense the strength of others. I’ve lost most of my faculties, but I still retain that sense, though it pains me to use it, as does everything else.”
“Are you in pain now?” I wondered, focusing on her fractured medium gray skin.
“Always,” she said simply, a resignation in her black and gold eyes.
I frowned at that, wishing I could help her somehow, but having no idea what I could possibly do. The sight, combined with that knowledge, made me rub my arms briefly, feeling like I could understand the pain she was referring to, though I had no recollection of having ever been harmed.
She sighed then. “You have questions?” she reminded me.
“Yes, but honestly I don’t even know what to ask. I’m just trying to remember my past.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Please forgive me for my honesty, but my son is gullible, as is natural for someone of his stage of development. However, I find it difficult to believe you have amnesia.”
“And why is that?” I wondered calmly, not at all offended by her accusation – that I was lying for some unknown reason.
“Because such ailments do not plague our kind, and your body is in perfect health. Even I remember all, despite the fact that I’m slowly dying.”
I hesitated as I considered that. “I understand your logic. And I’d probably think the same in your position. But I still don’t remember, whether you believe me or not. Alternatively, what benefit would I gain from coming to pester the people here with seemingly ridiculous questions?”
She shrugged infinitesimally at that, more black hair falling loose of her shoulders. “I don’t know. We’ve been harassed before.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “Then how can I prove to you I’m not here to harass anyone? Other than not doing it, of course.”
Her eyes narrowed again as she became pensive, before beginning a string of questions. “How old are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who turned you?”
“Don’t know.”
“Do you have a partner?”
I paused, considering that. “I…I’m not sure,” I admitted.
“Why the hesitation?” she asked.
I sighed. “I’m not sure about that either.”
“You’re in good health. Have you tried reaching out to determine if you do? If you’ve synced with someone before, then you’ll find their mind right away – it’ll be like gravity sucking you in. Those who have willingly severed the connection will continue to feel the pull until they’ve synced with another.”
Unexpectedly, I heard her continue her statement in her thoughts, seemingly unaware that I was accidentally eavesdropping, her tone sarcastic. ‘I should know. Javan accidentally reconnecting with me, over and over, was far worse than him originally abandoning me to save his own hide.'
I attempted to keep my composure neutral, not wanting to pry into her personal life. Focusing on her verbal question, I thought about it for a moment. “I feel like I can’t. I’m unable to reach out very far at all.”
She scoffed. “You just asked why I didn’t communicate with Adapa telepathically, and now you’re saying you can’t do it yourself?”
“No,” I shook my head, sighing. “It’s not that I’m not capable of it, because I feel confident that I should be able to. Instead, it’s more like…something is stopping me.” I took a deep breath, looking away. “And if I’m being honest, I almost feel afraid to do so.”
“Afraid?” she repeated skeptically. “What could someone as strong as you have to fear?”
I returned my gaze to her sharply. “You, of all people, should know that strength isn’t everything. What if your son had been taken from you? All the strength in the world wouldn’t keep that fear away.”
Instantly, her expression pained, before anger quickly surfaced. “How do you know about that?” she snapped.
My eyes widened in surprise. “Oh. Umm, Ezra told me on the way here…” I paused. “Was it a secret or something?”
She hesitated, looking stunned for a moment, before becoming apologetic. “Please forgive the outburst from one such as myself. I’m a little protective of him, though I’m long past being able to defend him from harm.”
“It’s fine,” I said simply, holding her black and gold gaze for a long minute.
It was strange, because I could see the young woman behind the fractured and desiccated skin, though her eyes had lost most of the spark of life I’d expect to see, the years of agony wearing her down. Still, she persisted on, if only for the sake of her son.
Finally, she broke the silence. “So what are you afraid of then? That they’ve left you? Because that’s very rare.”
I pursed my lips, knowing full well it was exactly what had happened to her. “I don’t know,” I replied yet again, feeling annoyed with myself.
She was about to ask another question, only for both of us to glance towards the doorway when it felt like something heavy dropped to the ground outside
.
Chapter 20: Recollection
The moment the person landed, faint footsteps could be heard running through the sanctuary and hallway, the pace only moderate for our kind – not sounding rushed, but also not someone taking their time either.
Still, they’d be in the room within a second.
I assumed it would be this Adapa person, so I was completely shocked when Jericho stepped into the room.
“What are you doing here?” I exclaimed.
Her icy gaze focused on me, her expression reserved. “I could ask you the same,” she replied while crossing her arms over the snowy hands that held her chest. “I’m pretty confident I’ve never seen you before, and yet the first thing you do is come here of all places?”
“You followed me?” I said in disbelief.
However, before she could respond, Ruth spoke up. “Hello, Jericho. I see you’ve met this unusual man too.”
My brow furrowed at that for two reasons.
One, it was suddenly obvious why I’d been followed, and why Jericho seemed defensive. She obviously frequented this place and was on good terms with the few residents here – being someone who didn’t abide by the taboo that kept everyone else away. That, of course, also meant she’d have an invested interest in making sure no one caused these people trouble, especially since many of them were weakened by their condition.
And second, I felt odd about being called a man, as if I was too young to fit that description.
Granted, obviously I was an adult, based on my body alone, so then why the surprise?
I honestly didn’t know.
But what I did know was that being around this woman with tan skin and white hair, coupled with her bony draconic features, was making me uneasy again. As if my presence alone put her in danger.
“Hey, Ruth,” Jericho replied more gently. “Yeah, we met a while ago. He told me to leave him alone, but then I saw him heading in this direction. Once I saw your son taking him here, I went to go track down Adapa to ask if he knew who he was.” She looked at me pointedly. “He doesn’t.”
Ruth responded before I could. “He says he lost his memory, though I find that hard to believe.”
Jericho looked at me in surprise, appearing much less skeptical. “You have? That seems impossible.” She paused. “Unless you got injured somehow, but it would have to be pretty significant to cause memory loss.”
I slowly stood up, seeing her body tense as I did so. “Look, I’m not trying to cause trouble, and I apologize if my presence has caused you anxiety.” I carefully took a step in her direction, since she was blocking the exit. “I’m just going to go now, so there won’t be any doubt about my intentions.”
She seemed even more shocked, before her eyes narrowed while she shifted her weight, as if to block the exit. “Why do you keep trying to avoid me?” she demanded.
I held her gaze for a few seconds, before looking away, my shoulders slumping in defeat. “I don’t know,” I repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. And as I tried to recall why I felt such guilt and grief, it only worsened the emotions, rather than eliciting any specific memories.
I returned my gaze to hers, the agony on my face causing another wave of confusion and surprise to cross her expression. “Look, like I said, I’m not trying to cause any trouble, so I’m going to leave the normal way, instead of through the wall. But I’m also not going to go through you, either. So just let me leave.”
She quickly recovered, stepping more fully in my path. “If you’ve lost your memory, then why won’t you let me help? If you let me in your head, then maybe–”
“No,” I interrupted almost harshly, surprising even myself with my abruptness.
She seemed even more frustrated. “Why are you specifically avoiding me?” she demanded. However, when I didn’t respond, her demeanor shifted as she continued with an uneasy smile, speaking as if she was trying to lighten the mood. “I mean, you can try to go through me if you really want, but I think you might be surprised to discover I’m stronger than you.”
“He’s stronger,” Ruth interjected matter-of-factly. “A lot stronger, Jericho.”
That legitimately seemed to surprise her as well, though I couldn’t imagine why. She replied without taking her icy eyes off me, as if she thought I’d disappear the moment she did. “How strong?”
Ruth deflected. “I’m uncertain if my ability is as accurate as it used to be.”
Jericho scoffed. “Just tell me, Ruth.”
“As strong as a Ruler, Jericho.”
Her icy eyes widened, still holding my gaze. “T-That’s not possible.”
“I said my ability might not be accurate anymore.”
“Oh, that’s nonsense and you know it,” Jericho retorted. “Accuracy isn’t something you lose, only perceptive strength.”
“I know,” she agreed simply, causing both of them to fall quiet for a long few seconds, both staring at me.
“But how is that even possible?” Jericho persisted. “We’d know if there was another Ruler. Where has he been all this time? Surely he can’t be Chrys–”
She abruptly stopped when I began raising my hands in resignation, feeling weird about the two of them talking about me while both stared me down.
“Okay, I’m just going to walk out now. But before I do, I guess I’ll be honest.” I took a deep breath, knowing how much of a lunatic I was about to sound. “I don’t know why I’m avoiding you, Jericho. But I can’t remember anything at all, and I get this extremely horrible sensation when I’m around you, as if me being near you is going to cause you a lot of pain, and I don’t want that for you, okay? I mean, you don’t even know me, and yet somehow I feel like I know you, which is crazy to be honest. Like, how would that even be possible if you don’t know me? And yet I knew your name the moment I met you. But it’s more than that, Jericho.”
I paused, grief filling my heart again. “I feel like I remember you in a state not unlike Ruth’s. Except worse. I feel like I remember you without horns and wings. I feel like I remember them being torn off by someone, with you being tortured horribly even though you’d done nothing wrong. And it might just be some crazy hallucination, or something, but I don’t want to chance it. I don’t want to see you hurt. So I’m just going to leave, okay?”
She was staring at me with wide eyes, so I quickly stepped forward to close the gap then, with her flinching as I slipped by.
I called back to Ruth as I headed down the hall, not wanting to seem ungrateful. “And thanks for humoring me, even if you don’t believe my story. Please express my appreciation to your son as well.”
I didn’t wait for a response, quickly making the turn towards the sanctuary. I figured my speech had really stunned Jericho enough to let me escape, but I didn’t even make it past the last stone pew before she was practically breathing down my neck.
“Wait! If all that’s true, and if you’re really so strong, then wouldn’t it make more sense for me to stay near you? Or are you just going to let those things happen to me?”
“I can’t predict the future!” I snapped, feeling odd about my own statement, not bothering to look back at her. “It’s probably just a hallucination, like I said.”
“If you don’t think it’s real, then why are you still running away?” she demanded, following me right out of the building.
“Because I guess I’m crazy, and apparently that’s what makes people crazy! They believe those kinds of things are real!”
“Our kind doesn’t go crazy,” she snapped back, trying to walk beside me now, trying to get into the corner of my vision so I’d look at her.
I finally stopped, making her defensive again like she was prepared for me to hit her. I didn’t really want to have this conversation at all, even more so since we had an audience, several people sticking their heads out of doorways and windows, but it was obvious she was going to keep following me unless I addressed her.
And since I didn’t know how to fly, I had no doubt she
’d be able to keep up.
“What do you want from me?” I finally asked, turning toward her. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
Instantly, her expression was pained and vulnerable, like I’d struck a chord, hitting her hard in a way I hadn’t intended.
“I’m…I’m sorry.” I didn’t even know why I was apologizing. “Look, I think I really am going crazy. I’m hearing voices in my head. They sound real, like they’re right here whispering to me. And I’m hallucinating horrible things happening to you. And I want to protect you from that, because no one should have to suffer what I’m imagining. But the only way I know how, is to keep you away from me. I’m not saying that I would ever hurt you myself, but I feel like your association with me might cause you pain.”
I scoffed then, ignoring her still vulnerable expression. “I mean, Rulers are like the people in charge, right? So if I’m really that strong, then wouldn’t that threaten their authority? What if that’s why I can’t remember? Because they tried to kill me or something? And if you’re associated with me, then wouldn’t that get you killed too? Or tortured?”
Her icy eyes widened as she considered that. “But our Rulers are mostly benevolent. The only one I could imagine doing something like that would be Ragnarok, but–”
Instantly, the moment she said that word – that name – my heart began to race, beating hard in my chest, beginning to throb in my neck, the roar increasing in my ears.
Lightning abruptly crackled in the air, an azure hue overtaking the crimson ground and midnight buildings. Someone screamed in shock, and the angelic demon took a step back in surprise.
“M-Michael!” Jericho said in alarm, though I couldn’t remember having told her my name. I had run away before introducing myself.
How did she know my name?
Simultaneously, another voice overlapped with hers.
‘Michael! What are you doing here?! You shouldn’t be here right now. It’s too early. Too soon. You’ve never come this early before.’
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