“Hey kid, whatcha up to?”
I stood on the porch with my arms crossed and stared out into the woods. I couldn’t look at him, he was so beautiful it hurt my heart. He sounded happy but tired as he said, “Grandma sent you a plate from dinner.”
He held it up to me and as I took it from him our eyes met. He flashed me a half-smile. A cute little half-smile that made me weak and wish I could trace the curve of his lips with my finger. I turned to set the plate on a nearby table and when I turned around I asked, “Care to sit for a minute and watch the sunset with me?”
I extended my hand and he took it gently into his. Oh, to be young again, to experience something for the first time again and know that you’ve never felt this way before and you never will again. He took a seat in the porch swing, letting his legs dangle boyishly. I sat down next to him and mumbled, “There isn’t a better place in the whole county to watch the sunset than right here.”
He turned to me with wide-eyed wonder. I placed my hand gently on his thigh and pointed toward the horizon. “Look.”
He sighed, “God sure painted a beautiful sky tonight.”
I wanted to cry as I replied, “Yes, yes he sure did.”
But I wasn’t looking at the sky. I was looking at him and the way the wayward rays of light from the setting sun haloed his skin. Silence lingered between us for a moment before he stood up and said, “Well, I guess I better go home and get some shuteye. I’ve got another big day of work planned for tomorrow.”
The early days of summer had slowly started to slip by and every night Caedmon would come by to sit on the porch and watch the sunset with me. It was getting harder and harder to deny the attraction burning between us.
He’d been working hard to get Ms. Annie’s place looking nice. He’d start early in the morning and sometimes he wouldn’t finish until nightfall. But he’d always find the time to come visit me. The formality of mister had been dropped and now he just called me Darby.
When he had time in-between days, he’d come and help me with ongoing projects. I was just happy to have someone to talk to, a friend with whom I could share a laugh and a common love for hard work and craftsmanship. He had become my little buddy, the son I never had.
I’d been trying hard to keep my reservations about falling in love again, but every time I tried to put my guard up he shattered the walls of my fortress with his kindness and love. The dark days of loneliness were fading away, and the memories of Devin were being replaced with the ones I was making with him.
You know that moment when you suddenly wake up and realize, there he is, the one I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with. It had been about a month since he arrived in town. On this particular day, Ms. Annie had let him have the day off for fun. It was Sunday and she normally spent it at church.
He, of course, showed up at my front door bright and early. “So, what are we going to do today, Darby?”
I thought for a moment before replying, “Well, I thought we’d go down to the river and do some fishing.”
“Okay,” he replied excitedly.
I smiled, “Alright then! The fishing gear is in the shed. I’ll be right there once I pack us some sandwiches and water for lunch.”
**
I ran around the corner and waited for him. I loved spending time with Darby. In fact, I had a major crush on him but wasn’t sure if I was his type. When we first met, he was always so serious and focused on his work but after spending more time with him he’d started opening up.
He told me all about his ex-boyfriend Devin and all the terrible things he used to say to him. My heart ached for him. I could tell when he talks about him that he genuinely loved that boy with all of his heart. He even said that he’d planned on bringing him out here to the mountains so he could propose, but before he could Devin broke it off with him.
I too had started opening up and told him how I’d never been with anyone. He seemed shocked to find out I still haven’t even had my first kiss. As I told him, it wasn’t like I didn’t want to. I just never felt like the moment was right.
I mean, the only romantic feelings I’ve had to this day was a straight boy from school who used to sit with me at lunch because he felt bad about me sitting alone. But in hindsight, that was just puppy love or an unfortunate attraction to his act of kindness rather than to him.
Darby sauntered from around the corner of the house and placed a picnic basket in the bed of his truck before meeting me at the shed. I smiled at him as he unlocked the door. “Here,” he said as he passed me a tackle box and grabbed two poles from inside.
“You ready to go, buddy?”
“Uh-huh,” I nodded excitedly.
After placing the poles in the bed of the truck, he took the tackle box from me then opened the passenger’s side door, “After you,” he said playfully.
I faked a southern accent, “Why thank you, kind sir. If I had a hat, I’d tip it!”
He laughed, a big booming laugh that made my heart tremble with delight. After closing the door, he paused for a moment and held my gaze. I smiled and giggled, “What?”
He sighed and shook his head as he replied, “Nothin’.”
I knew he wanted to say something else but I didn’t want to rush him. Once inside, he started up the truck, placed his arm behind my neck and turned to check behind us before backing up. After he made sure the coast was clear he didn’t move his arm. I was feeling all giddy about it and part of me wanted to scoot over closer to him.
Fate intervened because by the time we were at the end of the graveled road I was sitting right next to him. He looked to the left, then to the right and found me staring right at him. “What happened?” he smirked.
I shrugged, “I guess the driveway is a little bumpy.”
“Is that so?”
I giggled, “I don’t know but I’m not complaining.”
He stared at me again. That long lingering stare that made me die a little inside. He has these naturally sleepy hound dog eyes that always look so sad. Finally, he said it, the words I’d been waiting to hear since we met. The confirmation that my mind wasn’t just playing tricks on me, “You are just so damn cute.”
I felt my cheeks sear with a blush as I turned away and replied, “Oh my.”
I heard him shift the truck into park, then I felt his fingers pulling my face back into his view. “Caedmon,” he said. “Forgive me if I’m mistaken but I feel like there’s something more between us than just friendship.”
I smiled and reached up to touch his face. My voice was a soft whisper as I replied, “You’re not mistaken.”
He turned away and sniffled as he tried to hold back a wave of tears. I quickly recoiled, “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”
“No,” he mumbled as he shook his head.
“Was it something I did?”
He shook his head again.
I was starting to panic as I said, “Well, whatever it is you can tell me. I’ll understand.”
He took a deep breath and met my gaze again, “It’s just that. I’ve never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my life.”
“What’s stopping you?” I replied a little more abruptly than I’d intended to.
He sighed, “My heart. I can’t take another broken heart. But I can’t take this either.”
We stared in silence for a moment before I held out my hands. “Here.”
“What?” he said.
“Give me your hands.”
He hesitantly placed them in mine and I squeezed them tightly. “I can’t break what’s already broken. But I can take the shattered pieces and create something new and beautiful with them if you’ll let me?”
His lips trembled, then he shifted one of his hands to the back of my head as he held tightly to the other one. Quickly he leaned in, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips tightly to mine. He held the kiss until we couldn’t breathe and pulled away slightly. Pressing his forehead tightly to mine, he whispered, “Please don’t hurt me.”
A
nd I replied, “Never.”
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
Since the river was just across the highway, we decided to just leave the truck parked in the driveway and walk the rest of the way. He grabbed the fishing poles and picnic basket and I grabbed the tackle box, then we headed down the path that led the water’s edge.
He led the way, his boots leaving footprints in the tall grass for me to follow. The path was a little steep and he kept looking back to check on me. Once we were at the riverside, he took out a blanket and spread it out for us to sit on. I took the opportunity to take off my shoes and roll up my pants legs while he prepped the hooks for us to fish.
Something had happened in the truck and I knew we’d never be the same. With one kiss, my first kiss, our souls had connected on both a physical and spiritual level. He had nothing left to lose and I had everything to gain. After leaning the poles against a nearby tree he stripped off his boots and rolled up the legs of his jeans.
I hadn’t intended on going swimming but there was something about the cool breeze coming from the rapids upstream that made the water too irresistible not to jump in. Darby must have had the same idea and promptly stripped his flannel shirt off. I watched with wanton eyes as he slipped it off his shoulders, folded it neatly, then set it on the blanket.
He met my gaze and I followed his lead. After struggling for a minute to get it over my head I felt his presence close to me and with a gentle tug, he managed to slip it right off my body. He held it nervously in front of him as I stood before him. Nearly naked and a little insecure but certain he would never judge me I placed my hands on his chest and ran them exploratively through his thick mesh of fire-red chest hair. “I love your body.”
He mumbled, “I love yours too.”
I lifted my eyes and smiled, “Really.”
“Oh yeah.”
I took the shirt from him and tossed it to the side before grabbing his hand, “Let’s go,” I said with a smile and a gesture of my head.
We ran as fast as we could toward the edge and took a deep breath. Time seemed to move in slow motion as we took the dive and free fell toward the water. Submersion. We held tightly to one another’s hands as our bodies swirled in a beautiful dance and a minute later we emerged, laughing and shaking the water from our hair.
Our feet danced beneath us and our arms swayed in an effort to stay afloat. Our laughter dissipated and the only thing that remained was our heavy breathing. I swam a little closer, he met my lips with his. This was joy, this was bliss, and as we separated I exhaled, “No one has ever made me feel like this.”
He smiled at me, “Same.”
We swam around one another in a sensual dance for a bit longer before moving back to the edge. We managed to find a small footpath that led back up to the shore, then we sat down on the blanket and ate lunch.
We spent the rest of the afternoon fishing and talking about nothing at all. Before long, the day had come to an end. A bittersweet feeling washed over me. I would have given away everything I owned just to live forever in this day with him.
Once we were back at the truck and had loaded everything up, we sat next to each other on the front bumper and held hands as we watched the sunset. As beautiful as this moment was I couldn’t silence a fear that had just been awakened inside of me. I turned to him and mumbled, “I have to go back home soon.”
He smiled, “I know, your grandma will start to worry.”
I shook my head, “No, I mean at the end of next week. I have to go back to Greensboro.”
He bowed his head, “Oh.”
I could tell he was upset and quickly tried to correct any negative thoughts he may have had that I didn’t want to see him anymore. “Today was the best day of my life and if I could, I would just stay here with you.”
He looked hopeful as he replied, “I’d love that.”
I sighed, “It’s just that mom has high hopes I’ll go to college and have a career.”
Silence lingered for a few minutes before he squeezed my hand, “Well, I can understand that.”
I turned to him with tears in my eyes, “But I don’t want to go Darby.”
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head, “Don’t worry baby, maybe we can figure something out. In the meantime, let’s just enjoy the time we have left.”
I sniffled and buried my face in his chest, “I love you, Darby.”
He took a ragged breath, “I love you too, Caedmon.”
Love, love was the missing piece we needed to make his shattered heart whole again. They say sometimes love just isn’t enough, but I know something that is and before I have to go home I’m going to make him believe again.
We separated and as we did I could see tiny flickers from fireflies light up the meadow around us. He stretched out his hand and snatched one from in front of us. Slowly he opened his hand and I peeked inside. His voice was soft as he said, “You know what they say about fireflies don’t you?”
I met his gaze, “No?”
He smiled, “Fireflies remind us that we've got to let our light shine to be seen and attract the good stuff we desire in our lives. They perfectly time their light to attract their destined mate and they symbolize hope and patience.”
He opened his hand fully and I watched with wonder as the little bug crawled to the tip of his finger and flew away. Then he placed his hand on my cheek and whispered, “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life and just when I thought my light wasn’t bright enough to attract my mate you finally came.”
I fell against him and whimpered, “Oh Darby.”
And as he tightened his arms around me he mumbled, “You’re my little firefly and I want to keep you forever.”
Under the light of the moon with the magic embers of fireflies flickering around us we held, and kissed, and breathed for a while before we finally decided to say goodnight. Although neither of us wanted to.
When I got back to grandma’s she was still awake and sitting in the living room with a glass of milk and some cookies. I announced at the door, “Grandma, I’m home.”
She shouted a reply, “I’m just watching my shows baby, come on in and sit for a spell.”
I grabbed a cookie from the plate and collapsed in the recliner next to her. She turned to me with a smile, “Did you have a good day?”
I nodded silently as she continued, “You know your mama warned you about coming down here and falling in love.”
I froze and blushed as I asked, “What do you mean?”
She wagged her finger at me, “Don’t play coy with me. You’ve got that same starstruck look in your eyes I did when I first saw your grandfather.”
I chewed mechanically for a minute before swallowing and turning to meet her gaze. Her expression softened, “You know there’s nothing you can ever tell me that will stop me from loving you?”
“Of course, grandma.”
She gestured grandly, “I’ve been in this world for a long time so don’t think I haven’t noticed how much time you spend at Mr. Darby’s.”
I sighed. There was no way I was getting out of this. I could never lie to grandma. “Grandma,” I said hesitantly.
She stared at me expectantly as I continued, “I think I’m in love with Mr. Darby.”
I lowered my gaze as she replied, “Aw, I knew in my mind he would find his costar, didn’t think it’d be my grandson but hey whatcha gonna do?”
“What?” I said with a confused expression.
She chuckled, “Oh, I’m just hashing out the rest of the storyline in my head.”
I shook my head, “Oh, you’re talking about a Hallmark movie!”
“No,” she quipped. “I’m talking about you and Darby. As an old woman, you get pretty good at guessing what’s going to happen next in this picture show we call life. Sometimes you’re right, sometimes you’re wrong but in the end, you learn to stop guessing how the movie is going to end.”
I was still trying to wrap my mind around what she was saying. Sometimes, as
grandmas often do, they wrap wisdom inside of crazy. You just have to decipher which is the wisdom and which is the crazy. But at the moment, I was more surprised she didn’t blink an eye about me being in love with an older man.
“Wait, you’re not upset that I’m…”
She held up her hand to stop me, “I’ve never been one to cast judgment on anyone. It’s not my job or my place. My job is to love unconditionally and accept the things I can’t change. You can no more change who you love than a person can change the color of their skin.”
“But aren’t you going to lecture me about being too young...”
She stopped me again, “Age is just a number. Hell, I was younger than you when I met grandpa. When you know, you know. People underestimate young people’s abilities to make decisions for themselves.
I say live it up while you’re young. Wisdom comes from living. Sometimes we make good decisions, sometimes we make bad decisions, but if you sit on your butt and do nothing you’ll never learn anything.”
I jumped up from my chair and ran to where she was sitting. She lifted her arms and I snuggled up to her. “Oh grandma, you’re the best.”
She let out an amused sigh through her nose, “Tell me something I don’t know.”
We separated and shared a laugh before I asked her, “You won’t tell mom will you?”
She waved in dismissal, “That’s on you. I’ve done my job for tonight.”
She stood with a grunt, and with a pat to my back, she said, “Well, I’m off to bed. Breakfast at sunrise!”
I turned to her, “Grandma?”
“Yep?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too sweets.”
Once she had gone to bed, I decided to go sit on the porch and think for a little bit. I needed time to chase the thoughts around in my head and decide what I needed to do. Should I go back home so I can go to college? Or, Should I stay here in paradise with Darby? Should I tell mom about us?
There were so many questions that had no answers. So, I finally just opted to go to bed. Maybe things would look easier in the light of day. There was one thing I knew for sure, I loved Darby and I’d decided that before this week was through, I was going to give him the one thing to make him believe in romance again.
The Carpenter's Apprentice Page 3