by Ashley Munoz
“What time?” Jace asked, rubbing my wrist with his thumb. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have him at my house so late. Maybe I needed to lay down some boundaries.
“Sex?” I replied, mortified by what had just slipped out of my mouth. “I mean six! Six o’clock!” I blushed intensely, and he smiled, holding back a laugh.
“I’ll be here.” He dipped his face and kissed me chastely on the lips.
“Are you okay?” Jace softly asked while we moved forward in line. I swiftly nodded, not realizing I hadn’t responded with words…again. He’d asked me a few questions since we pulled up to the theater, but my mind was somewhere else.
It was on memories, past moments with Jace when we’d snuck into this very cinema…dark, secret moments when we’d huddled up in the back, pulled out a blanket, and felt each other up while watching some thriller. He’d stolen more of my innocence here than anywhere else, and now I was standing in line, ready to go back into that same dark room with him.
He’d texted me earlier, asking if I wanted to go to a movie with him. Since the previous night’s dinner had been such a success, I figured why not? We were learning how to be around each other again. We were occasionally kissing, but nothing more. It’s fine.
Except now all I could think of was if Jace planned to do something tonight and whether or not I was ready. I went over the facts in my head again: Bryan hit me. Bryan cheated. I didn’t owe him anything…and yet, I just felt like I couldn’t be with someone again until my divorce was final.
“Two, for Fatal,” Jace requested through the small circle in the plexiglass window. The girl taking tickets blushed and pushed her chest forward. I smiled, thinking of what it must be like to be a seventeen-year-old girl and have to deal with Jace up close.
Tonight, he was wearing dark jeans that molded to his thighs perfectly, and he had on dark combat boots and a black t-shirt. His hair was askew and gorgeous, his blue eyes dancing as he smiled and retrieved the tickets. My heart bounded behind my breastbone as though it was screaming at me to claim him, but he wasn’t mine to claim, and I wasn’t his.
He reached for my hand and pulled me along toward the concession stands. “Want anything?”
Just you. “No, I’m okay,” I said in a slightly watery tone. What is wrong with me?
He skipped the lines and kept walking us toward the large hallway that led to the designated theater.
Before we reached the door, he tugged me hard toward a dark alcove.
Planting his hands on either side of my head, he caged me in and stared down at me.
“Look, I hate feelin’ like somethin’ is wrong with you…did I do something?” He searched my eyes, worry slipping through his expression.
I brought my left hand to his throat and moved my fingers up until I was pushing his hair back. “No, you didn’t. I’m just nervous…I keep remembering what we used to do here.”
I blushed, ducking my head.
He lifted my chin. “Is that right?” He held my face in his palm so I couldn’t look away then ever so slowly closed the gap between us. “Like this?” He softly kissed my lips and, a second later, gripping the back of my head, he deepened it.
I moaned into his mouth and pushed against him. “Yes, and more…”
The hall was getting more populated, and while no one could see us unless they really tried, we were still next to a stack of booster seats. It would only take one parent to need one and come over for us to be discovered.
“Like that time I snuck that blanket in with us?” His husky voice danced along the flesh of my earlobe, hot and sweet. I closed my eyes and let him drag me under the tide of our past. I nodded as he pushed his hips into mine, and I felt him hard and ready for me. It caused a rush of heat to pool in my belly, low and deep and primal.
I pushed my hips forward and tipped my head back to have him claim my lips again. He did so with fire on his tongue, like he was aware of the war that had raged against our hearts, like he was planning to fix it all with merely one kiss.
The danger in his touch was that he could.
He seared me, pressed into me impossibly hard, causing my hands to push up under his shirt and my nails to sink into his skin. I wanted him. I needed him.
His rough hands went to my neck and carefully tilted my head to the side as he devoured my mouth, groaning and rumbling dirty things near my ear.
“I loved how wet you always were for me.” He kissed the space below my ear. “Always so receptive and ready.” His kisses went lower until he was sucking on the skin at the base of my neck. “Everything inside me is fighting the urge to fuck you against this wall right now.” More sucking and his right hand went around me to my ass, where he pulled me closer. “Would you like that?” He lightly bit my shoulder, pushing my bra strap aside. I had no voice, nothing left in my lungs to give him. My legs were weak as he let each word leave his lips, leaving me with a promise and a hope for what might be building between us.
His words, although tantalizing, were devoid of any heart. There were no promises of love, which sobered me a little too quickly for my liking. I’d been led by emotions before, and it had taken me to dangerous places.
“Let’s go watch the movie,” I said, raspy with need as I tried to calm down. I smiled up at Jace, heaving in extra air, hoping he’d get the hint without being offended.
He smiled down at me and nodded. “Just walk in front of me so no one sees this.” He looked down at his legs and I laughed. I tugged his hand and did as he asked, staying plastered to his front until we settled into our seats, not in the back, but in the middle.
I wasn’t sure if I had ruined things by calling off our grope session in the hall, but when he slipped his hand into mine and held it for the length of the film, I felt maybe I hadn’t ruined anything at all. Maybe, just maybe, we weren’t tarnished by what we’d done, weren’t too far gone for redemption. Maybe we could still find our way back to each other.
Twenty-Five
This new existence I had with Faith was something I couldn’t seem to get used to. It felt like it used to with her, back when we were kids—less sexual, more aware of how we treated each other. I both loved and hated it.
After the movie theater, things had only gotten worse with our groping and make-out sessions, but every time I started falling into old patterns with her where I’d explain in graphic detail what she did to me and what I wanted to do to her, she’d pull away. I was starting to think my girl had turned prude over the past five years.
Another part of me just wondered if it had to do with her still being married. I didn’t love that she still legally carried someone’s last name, but I also wasn’t about to let that small technicality stand in my way. I wanted Faith. I wanted her heart, her soul, her body, and every single future kiss from those delicious lips.
It was Saturday and I had my arm around Faith’s shoulders, tugging her along with me down at the local Collierville market. Ever since the movie night, she’d stopped looking over her shoulder as much. If it was because of her fear of the cameras or of Bryan, I wasn’t sure, but I liked that she seemed more at ease now.
“This one.” She grabbed a wooden frame in awe. It had an engraved wildflower sticking up out of the dirt that looked 3-D against the stained grain of the wood, especially with a light dusting of red over the petals. It was spectacular…and nearly two hundred dollars. I winced and tugged on her arm on instinct, but she stayed rooted in place.
She talked passionately with the artist who had made it, asking questions about the process behind each piece. Scattered throughout her booth were dozens more like the one Faith had in her arms. I saw her eyes go big as she began inspecting the other items.
One had metal infused with the wood, outlining a very detailed carving of a mounted motor. It looked cool as hell. I peeked at the price on it, just out of curiosity, and saw it was $350. Holy shit.
I wandered away from the booth but stayed close enough to see Faith. She was digging in her
wallet, pointing at several pieces. I watched her smile as she handed over her card to the woman in the tent, watched her transform into the billionaire’s wife that she was underneath. My chest burned as the reality of our lives and the difference between our worlds came into focus. This was who she was now. Rich. Entitled.
She’d grown accustomed to walking into any situation and just laying down her card. I didn’t have the strength to look and see if her card was black, or if it had her husband’s name on it. I didn’t know enough about the details surrounding their marriage.
I’d heard bits and pieces in the room that night, heard enough to make my stomach sour, but that didn’t mean he’d cut her off. It certainly didn’t mean she wasn’t still living off of him in some capacity. Sure, she’d shown her self-sustaining status that day she couldn’t pay for her car, but maybe that had been too much for her.
I knew one thing for sure: she wouldn’t be able to settle with a guy like me, someone broke, still stuck in debt. My fingers were raw from how many times I’d had to rub pennies together to make my loan payments and cover Jessie’s college tuition. Faith didn’t belong with a guy like me, and I’d be damned if she settled. It’d go somewhat like her marriage—she’d stick it out, miserable, lonely, until one day she just left.
“Ready to walk around some more?” Faith asked excitedly, slipping her fingers into mine. I looked down at her, saw the afternoon sun reflect in those blue eyes, and I wanted to drown. For one second, I wanted to be someone else, anyone else—not the poor kid from Collierville who had to really consider if he could afford a piece of art before just laying down his card.
I nodded my agreement and followed after her, swallowing my pride one horrible piece at a time.
“So, what’s your plan after everything?” I asked while we slowly sauntered down Main Street, hand in hand. A few people glanced our way, pulling their phones out, pointing them directly at us. Faith had sunglasses perched on her face, her hair curled with a few pieces framing her features.
I had sunglasses on too, hoping to at least marginally guard my identity. Faith tipped her head back, smiling up at me; chocolate ice cream was smeared along her lips, making me insane.
“I had a meeting with my admissions counselor the other day,” she said happily while swinging our arms.
“College?” I asked, unsure why that excited me so much.
“Yeah, I mean…I know I need a job too, but…” She lifted a shoulder and let it drop while her eyes went back to the sidewalk. She seemed to ignore the people who were stopping to film us, but it made me uneasy. In fact, I couldn’t stop looking over my shoulder.
“Maybe we should head back to your house…” I suggested, seeing a few women from the hair salon pressing their faces to the window, watching us.
Faith let out a sigh. “Sorry…I’m used to it, but you probably aren’t.” Her face flushed red, making me feel guilty. I pulled her under my arm and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
“What happened to that big burly guy who bailed you out that night at the bar?” I steered us toward the diner, where a side alley would take us back toward Faith’s side of town.
“Tom? He’s still around, usually lurking in the background. He likes to give me my space. In bigger cities, he’s closer. Here, he’s relaxed a bit, but he’s there.”
I stopped, turning her toward me. “You mean…the other night at my house?”
She laughed. “No, he doesn’t follow if I go somewhere with you—he knows you’ll protect me.”
We started walking again. “How do you pay his salary?” I threw my arm around Faith’s shoulder as she tossed her cone away.
She let out a heavy sigh, which meant I was probably not going to like the answer.
“It’s your business, sorry…” I muttered, wishing I hadn’t asked.
“No, it’s fine…it’s just that I don’t like that I still live off of Bryan. Tom is still on Bryan’s payroll, because Bryan wants me protected.”
My stomach felt like it was filled with lead. It was the only redeemable thing about the asshole.
“I’m glad you’re letting him pay for the extra security,” I replied, hoping she knew I didn’t have a problem with it.
She nodded. “Gemma wants to push for money in the divorce…for assets.” Her withdrawn tone made my stomach twist.
“You don’t want to?” Please say no.
“I don’t want anything to tie me to him…I just want my own life.” She tipped her head up again. This time I stopped. Leaning down, I cradled her jaw and gently kissed her. The whole town was still there, buzzing around us, snapping images, capturing our private moment and offering it to the world as if they owned it.
“Whatever you decide to do, I support you,” I whispered against her ear, kissing her neck. She sagged against me, nodding into my chest.
We made our way to Faith’s apartment, where we planned to invite Jessie over for dinner. We took the elevator up to her floor, for no other reason than to just stay connected and tucked together. When we stepped into the hallway leading to Faith’s door, there was a man swiftly mincing toward the stairwell.
“What the heck?” Faith muttered.
“Do you know him?” I asked, stepping away from her, closer to her door, so I could ensure it hadn’t been tampered with.
“No, never seen him before, but didn’t it look like he was moving away from my door?” Faith dug for her key in her purse.
“It did. No one else has a key, right? Does Tom?” I narrowed my eyes as we carefully opened her door.
“Tom does…but I trust him with my life.”
Faith’s apartment looked the same as it had when we left earlier that day. Not even a single piece of paper seemed out of place, the throw blanket still folded the same. “Anything look off to you?”
Faith’s brows scrunched together. “Not that I can tell.”
I locked her door, unable to shake the feeling that someone had broken into her apartment. I decided right then I wasn’t leaving her alone that night.
Jessie came for dinner and stayed through a movie, and while it was a fun evening filled with laughter, the mood from earlier hadn’t quite dissipated. I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone had been in this apartment.
It didn’t help matters that Faith had been getting text messages all evening. She’d run into the kitchen to refill a glass or the chip bowl, but every time she’d have her eyes narrowed on her phone, her fingers furiously typing away to whoever was talking to her.
“Everything okay?” I asked from across the room, unwilling to keep letting this little charade slide.
She hurried, bustling around the kitchen. “Yeah, just Gemma with some lawyer stuff.” She waved her hand around, but I knew there was something more to it. Problem was, I also knew she didn’t trust me enough to share it with me.
Once the movie ended, Jessie hugged each of us and headed home. Faith went to the bathroom, and I started cleaning up. Just as my hand brushed up against the blanket that had been on Faith during the movie, her phone buzzed.
I picked it up, ready to place it on the coffee table for her, but the screen lit with a message. My jaw clenched shut.
Bryan: Don’t forget about Christmas—remember that trip I promised you? I got the confirmation last night. The place in the Netherlands is ours.
Fuck me if it didn’t feel like these two were playing some kind of game. She’d been texting someone all night with apprehension on her face. She’d been ducking and hiding, and why wouldn’t she? She’d been playing me like a fucking fiddle.
I tossed the phone back on the couch and ran my hands through my hair, trying to remember. The images of Faith’s bruised body flashed through my head as I tried to calm down. She wouldn’t just let him back in. No way. I knew her better than that. There had to be a different explanation for this.
“Hey, I’m glad you stayed.” Faith smiled, walking over to me. Her hair was tied back at her neck, leaving little tendrils free
around her face. I tucked one behind her ear as she leaned into me.
“Of course I stayed.” I bent down and kissed her. I wanted to lift her, walk her back to the bedroom, and own her, claim her like a caveman, staking his territory—but she’d hate me for it. Sure, I could probably kiss her, make her feel something enough to want that, but tomorrow she’d hate me or herself, and for that reason, I wouldn’t push.
“I was wondering if I could cook you dinner tomorrow?” She gripped my t-shirt and leaned back a fraction. The gravity of it made me want to scoop her up by her ass. “I know we’ve been here a few times, but I could come over, either to your dad’s place or yours. We could spend time there.” She beamed, biting her lip.
My heart kicked hard in my chest, terrified. I was so insecure. The text about Christmas in the Netherlands had me turning her down.
“We can do it here. I like your place better.”
“Okay. Bring Trevor.” She kissed me hard and then let me go with a smile.
Twenty-Six
I usually let my guard down when I neared my apartment block, especially when I had Tom trailing behind or nearby. Today, he had a family emergency, and since I was sticking close to home, I told him to go. I was wearing a pair of jean shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops, swinging my cloth grocery bag back and forth as I made my way home.
The sun kept playing peekaboo in between the trees that lined my street, and because I was feeling nostalgic, I tipped my head back and smiled. I was a bird set free. I was home and I was happy. Things with Jace were going so well it had me smiling, ducking away from the sun. Butterflies took off in my stomach whenever I received a text from him or heard his voice on the phone. I was falling for him so easily—too easily. We still hadn’t talked about anything from our past, but maybe we didn’t need to.