by Mahi Mistry
Kiara was probably inside her room, crying for the unborn baby she couldn’t save and blaming herself. I knew her too well to know that she was blaming all this on herself.
Fuck.
I would have been a father right now. Would she have told me if she knew that she was pregnant? She would have. She would have flown back to New York to tell me she was pregnant. But she wasn’t. I don’t know how she coped with the pain of losing a baby all alone. I wonder if this was the first time she was telling anyone else.
I needed to be with her. I couldn’t stand her blaming herself for everything.
With my feet padding against the floor, I opened the door and clenched my jaw. She was curled up in a ball, her hair hiding her face and clutching a pillow to her. Closing the door behind me, I laid down beside her on the bed. I finally sighed in relief when the feminine, musky scent of her black vanilla and coconut wafted in my nose. I ran my hand through her silky hair, tucking strands back from her face. I moved the pillow away, which was wet with tears and wiped her cheeks.
Even sad, she looked like an angel sleeping on the bed.
I kissed her forehead and leaned back.
She stirred beside me and gazed at me through her half-lidded eyes, “Ethan?”
I cradled her to my chest and whispered, “It’s okay. I am here, Bella.”
Her fingers clutched my shirt, “Please forgive me, Ethan. I am sorry. I never wanted this to happen.”
Rubbing her back, I said, “Go to sleep, Kiara.”
When she relaxed in my arms, I kept my hand on her stomach and tugged her closer to me.
Waking up with a petite body pressed against you was one of the best feelings in this world. Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes and looked at Kiara who was snuggling with my chest. Her cheek was pressed against my heart, lips agape, and her long soft hair was splayed against my arm and the pillows. She smelt like coconut and black vanilla, reminding me of the days when I used to wake up cuddling with her or on the floor because she had accidentally kicked me off the bed.
I gently ran my hand through her hair, remembering last night. She was pregnant with our child. The child we had made with love. But she didn’t tell me she had a miscarriage.
“What are you thinking about?”
I looked down at Kiara, her face was propped up against my chest. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I said, “I was wondering how our life would be if you had delivered the baby.”
A small smile tugged at my lips as I continued, “We would buy a house with a white picket fence and I would propose to you. I would drop our children at school every morning and stay up late to make you Italian hot chocolate while you are busy writing your novels. We would have movie nights while cuddling with our kids.” Tears glistened in her gold-flecked brown eyes. I cupped her cheek, wiping the tear, “And we would make love in the afternoon because that’s the only time we will have no kids running around.”
I let her cry at this fantasy of ours as she sat up, turning her back on me. My throat clogged up as her shoulders shook with the small sobs that she was trying so hard to hide.
I sat up and kissed her shoulders, “Please don’t cry, Bella. I . . . I didn’t want to make you cry.”
She shook her head and looked at me, tears leaking down her eyes, “This is all my fault, Ethan! If I would’ve never left, then there would have been no accident and our baby would not have died. We would still be together, married, and living happily in our own home.”
Her voice made my heart crack as I realized she was blaming herself for everything. I pulled her closer and made her look at me, her eyes were red with tears. “Kiara, listen to me. I forgive you for pushing me away for all these years just so you could be in a better place and be happy with who you are. I don’t regret anything because it’s alright, love. You did what you thought was better for yourself . . . for us. I admire you for having the courage to stand on your own, publish your novel, and teach younger minds. That car accident wasn’t your fault, Kia. Stop blaming yourself for everything.”
She said nothing for a while before blinking her eyes, “How could you say that after all I did and left you?”
I cupped her cheeks and gently wiped the tears with my thumbs and whispered, “It doesn’t matter anymore because you are here right now. I forgave you for everything, and I could go through that all over again if it means having you in my arms right now.”
Her brown doe eyes widened when she gazed at me for a long time, her pupils dilating as she glanced at my lips. I leaned my face closer to hers, breathing in her scent. Soft rosy blush reddened her cheeks and neck and I wondered how low that blush went. Her lips pressed against mine with soft, pliant pressure. I sighed and pulled her over me, holding her from the waist while my hands ran over her hair, which kept falling on my face when I kissed her.
Kiara pulled away first, dimple poking her cheeks as she shyly smiled at me and my eyes danced across her face to see a shy side of her. Gulping nervously, she sat up and mumbled, “I am going to go take a shower.”
Right. She was on her period and didn’t want me to go further.
I smiled at her when she closed the door to the washroom. When I looked down at my trousers, my smile faded away and I let out a groan, running a hand over my face. I had a raging boner just from kissing her.
Damn it, Eiffel.
We had muffins and eggs for breakfast because neither of us had eaten the muffins, which I had baked for her the day before. We were sharing similar longing glances at each other and smiling and blushing like teenagers. I wanted to strip her naked and make love to her on the floor, but I knew she wasn’t ready to be so intimate after telling me about the miscarriage. She was on her period, so she wouldn’t let me touch her.
Later that evening, we snuggled on the couch after having pizza for dinner. We were watching an action romance movie, and I had Kiara sit on my lap, my arms wrapped around her. Her fingers lightly trailed over my arms, and it oddly turned me on that she couldn’t stop touching me as much as I couldn’t get enough of her.
“Did you know I had sex with you for the first time after two years?” she said.
My smile dropped, and I blurted, “What?”
She chuckled and pressed her back against my chest, “Yes. I stopped sleeping around once I got the job and then I met Jake.”
“So you guys never had sex. What about oral?”
“A few times, but we never had sex with each other. Even if we wanted to, we both held back.”
“Huh,” I said, “I am surprised.”
“Nothing is surprising about this, Ethan.”
Little did she know there was. If she wanted to wait till marriage, then she was sure that she wanted to settle down with him. She would have if that idiot hadn’t hidden his son from her. Thank God for that. But that also means that she trusted me to be gentle with her. She was more serious about the baby now than ever.
I kissed her shoulder and promised myself to give whatever she wanted from me.
After a while, I had to hold her down when she started squirming. “Kiara. You need to stop grinding on me like that.”
Her cheeks flushed into a beautiful shade of pink. “I . . . I am not grinding on you.” She said while grinding on me.
A small smirk tugged at the corner of my lips as I pressed her butt closer to my bulge. My smirk widened when I heard her soft gasp and pressed my lips on her neck, kissing her skin. I lifted her top and skimmed my fingers on the smooth skin of her stomach, then trailed my hand until I could feel how hard her nipples were.
“Ethan,” she moaned sweetly, arching against my touch.
I palmed her breasts, massaged the soft skin, and lightly pinched her pebbled nubs. She squirmed and groaned instantly, her skin extra sensitive.
“Shh, Kiara,” I whispered when she shook her head. “Close your eyes and relax.”
With one hand kneading her breast, I lowered my other hand down her shorts to her underwear. Her breathing stopped. I b
it her ear, licking the earlobe. Kiara shivered when I slowly rubbed her clitoris, her pleasure nub was more sensitive as I pressed down on it, her hands gripping my forearms.
I slowly circled it, her legs trembling and her lips eliciting small, sweet sounds of pleasure that drove me insane. If she would have been comfortable, I would have taken her in the shower, but she wasn’t so I didn’t want to push her.
“Ethan,” she gasped, “If you don’t stop . . . I-I, oh, fuck!”
I tweaked and pinched her nipple and repeated the same action to her sensitive clit, her back arching as I held her close to me. Kiara trembled in my arms and when I rubbed the swollen nub, she exploded with an orgasm, her body writhing, overpowered with hormones. I kissed her skin and massaged her waist as she slowly calmed down.
I was surprised when she turned around to give me a brief kiss and smiled in between the kisses. “Thank you, Ethan,” she whispered, her amber-brown eyes shining. “For everything.”
Smiling at her beautiful face, I whispered, “You too, Bella.”
My fingers pressed on the cool black and white keys of the piano, soft melody pouring out of it. I closed my eyes and breathed out as I played the last notes, ending the music with soft strokes. I smiled when his lips pressed on the crook of my neck.
“That was beautiful,” he whispered, his hands running on my waist, warming my body.
I pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, “Thank you. What’s for dinner?”
After telling Ethan about the miscarriage, I had a one-on-one session with Doctor Sabrina. As I had expected, I cried and came back home refreshed. Ethan had cuddled me to sleep that night, and I remember waking up in the middle of the night to see my hands clutching his t-shirt tightly. Somehow, letting him know about the truth had made us get closer to each other. He didn’t hate me.
Closing the fallboard, I turned to him, loving the way his eyes smiled at me. Blue and green melting in his piercing orbs.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Pancakes.”
A hearty chuckle poured out of his mouth, my eyes dancing over his handsome face and the tan skin of his throat. “Pancakes for dinner?”
“Yes, do you have a problem with that?” I asked and stood up to stretch my body. I smirked to myself when I found him staring at me.
He straightened to his tall height and kissed my ass while I bent down, touching my toes. I giggled, standing up as he wrapped his arm around me. “I don’t have a problem with eating pancakes for dinner. Help me?”
“Of course!” I said, “I will make better pancakes than you.”
His dark eyes twinkled with a challenge, “We will see about that, Bella.”
We made different batters for our recipe and I eyed him as he chopped some strawberries. I continued making my batter by cracking two eggs and making sure that the batter wasn’t too thick or too thin. After half an hour, our pancakes were ready, and we decided that we would judge each other’s pancakes, and the winner got to do anything they wanted with the other for an hour.
I was excited to win because as much as I enjoyed the dominant side of Ethan, I wanted to know how he would react if I tied him up and had my way with him. I was sure that if he won, he’d do the same or . . . I didn’t even want to imagine.
“Ready?” he asked as we both stacked a big bite in our forks with the maple syrup dripping down on the plate.
I nodded, and we both took a bite together. I chewed and almost moaned out loud at the delicious taste of strawberries and something buttery, melting in my mouth. It was delicious.
When I opened my eyes, Ethan had the same expression. I eyed his lips when he licked them, my body warming and aching for his. We hadn’t had sex for a few days because of my period, but now, I needed him more than ever. I wondered if the feeling of having him beside me all day would ever fade. I wondered if he felt the same way or not.
“It’s okay, too sugary,” he said, shrugging at the pancakes I had cooked.
“Liar. If you don’t like it, then I will eat it.”
He grinned at me and ate another forkful. I chuckled at his goofy expression. We ate pancakes, sharing the ones we had made, and concluded that both the recipes were delicious and both of us were winners.
“No, I am the winner,” I said firmly, craning my neck up to narrow my eyes at him. “My pancakes were a little better than yours.”
He raised his eyebrow, “Didn’t we just agree that it was a tie?”
Keeping my hands at my hips, I asked, “Did we? I don’t remember.”
Ethan sighed, “Okay, fine, you won. Why do you want to win so badly?”
I let out an evil laugh that earned me a side glance from him as I helped him load the dishwasher. “It’s because I want to tie you up, silly.”
He froze and glared at me. “No, not happening.”
My smile fell, “Ethan, no! You promised that the loser has to follow the winner’s command for an hour.”
He crossed his arms, trying to intimidate me, and a part of me wanted to tell him it was working. I scowled at him, “You tie me up all the time. It’s not fair. Maybe I want to play with you too.”
A hint of a smile appeared on his lips when I pouted. “And how do you want to play with me, Kiara?” His voice was low and playful that made my stomach somersault.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I said, “I want to tie up your hands.”
His expression darkened, and the kitchen became a lot smaller when I took a step back, the marble counter digging in my lower back. He towered in front of me, smelling like pancakes, blueberries with a hint of his musky male scent. Wet arousal pooled in my underwear.
“And what will you do after tying my hands?”
I took a shuddering breath and met his eyes. They looked darker than mine as they pinned me to my spot. “You have to agree to let me tie you up first,” I countered.
Surprisingly, he agreed, but with safe words. I almost laughed at him because I wasn’t going to do anything extreme at all, I just wanted to tease him a little.
Okay, I am lying.
I want to tease him a lot.
“Remove your shirt, I want you shirtless,” I ordered and even spanked his butt for the effect. My palm zinged with heat because of the rough denim.
He narrowed his eyes at me, “Too much, Kia.”
I kissed his cheek in return and told him to lie down on the bed. Ethan was probably three times my size. If he decided it was getting too much, then it would take him no effort to pull me underneath him and I would be helpless. If I wanted to do this right, then I needed to tie his hands to the headboard so he couldn’t run away from me. Hehe, I was loving how the roles had reversed. Even though it was only for a while.
“Why do I think this is a bad idea?” He whispered to himself while I tied his hands to the headboard, straddling his bare chest. His prominent muscles tensed and hardened when I leaned down to kiss him on the lips and pulled away when he wanted to deepen it. He glared at me.
“Stop pouting, E, you agreed to be a good boy,” I said and stood up from the bed, marveling at the sight in front of me. Now I truly understood why he loved tying me up so much.
Ethan Kane was half-naked on the bed with his hands tied up. All for me. My mouth watered. I wanted to do my best to please him, make him come in my mouth. He looked exquisite and edible. All for me, I reminded myself, crossing my arms and removing his t-shirt that I was wearing. I watched his eyes rove over the dark red lace lingerie I had donned that morning. He let out a groan when I removed my shorts, revealing tiny red lace underwear.
Ethan tugged at his bonds, “Kiara . . . fuck, you are killing me here, babe. I want to touch you.”
I smirked, running my hands down my breasts and over my stomach, “Too bad, eh.”
“Kiara,” he warned, his face etched with anger and arousal.
“Yes?” I asked him sweetly when I crawled up the length of his body and lightly kissed his hip bone.
Keeping my eyes on him,
I licked his skin. His hips arched when I peppered small kisses on his abdomen. My hands roamed over the slabs of his prominent muscles and scratched his abs. I kissed, licked, and left hickeys, all the while hearing his sharp intake of breath and small groans. By the time I reached his waistband, he was hard as stone and a spot of pre-cum had stained his boxers.
“You are so fucking hot, Ethan,” I whispered and removed his boxers.
“Finally,” he muttered under his breath. His hooded eyes watched me lick my lips at the sight of his beautiful cock. The tip glistened with pre-cum, his girth solid with angry veins surrounding it. I stroked him slowly, relishing the hard touch of his velvety skin.
“Take me in your mouth, Bella,” he rasped, “I want to see those lips suck on my cock.”
His crude, dirty words aroused me further as I followed his directions. I lowered my head and took him in my mouth, his musky male scent exploding on my tongue. I moaned at his taste and licked his head, sucking it while my hand continued to stroke him.
“Like that?” I asked, licking my lips before pulling away,
Ethan groaned at me with his half-lidded eyes, “Yes, Bella, don’t fucking stop.”
Smiling to myself, I leaned down and licked his length, his body tensing underneath me. He let out a sound of protest when I pulled away from him to unhook my bra and remove the thong.
Ethan swallowed, “Kiara, if you don’t fuck me right now—”
I silenced him with my finger on his lips. “Or what, Ethan?” I purred, his eyes glaring at me but getting distracted as they landed on my breasts. I giggled when he tried to bite my finger.
“You are being a tease. Take me inside you,” he said, his voice smoky and deep, arching up to me.
I shook my head and grabbed his jaw to kiss him. The kiss was savage with our tongues and lips clashing against each other. I tugged at his hair and moaned when he bit my bottom lip, licking it better with small flicks of his tongue.
I pulled away before he could make me untie him. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my hair in a bun as he shot me a confused look.