by Mandy Baggot
‘I know you do,’ Trent replied. ‘But it’s a fact of life. Everybody’s competing for that spotlight and I don’t want you being trampled over because you’re too nice.’
‘I’m not too nice. I’m just …’ He had wanted to say ‘I’m just me’ but he still wasn’t sure who that person was when his real heritage was so up in the air. ‘I’m just not … Katy Perry.’
‘OK …’ Trent said, looking a little bewildered. ‘Let’s get that ridiculous frappé down you and get you to that call-back … before you start singing “Swish Swish”.’
Forty
Battery Park
‘The prince had his hair lacquered in a balm that contained liquid gold,’ Susie announced as she and Lara stepped on the boat that was going to take them up New York’s most famous river to visit one of its most famous icons, the Statue of Liberty. ‘Liquid gold! David said a tub of it could probably buy a small country in Africa.’
Lara looked at her watch before stepping off the gangplank onto their boat and getting out of the snowy wind buffeting her every part. They had looked around Castle Clinton first before heading to the dock. Battery Park was a real mish-mash of history from the castle-cum-former immigration station to the modern skyscrapers that surrounded everything. And her watch was telling her that Seth would be at his audition right now. She really hoped it was going well. She was a little nervous for him. And she also couldn’t believe that last night she had agreed to go on a date with him … When she had got back to the Airbnb apartment the previous night, she had checked Dan’s Facebook page and there was … nothing. No update. No being tagged in anything. Just that last post from when he had visited the Salisbury Christmas Market. She didn’t know whether that was a good or a bad thing or whether it meant anything at all to her any more.
‘Did you hear what I said?’ Susie asked, nudging her arm with her elbow.
‘Expensive hair balm,’ Lara answered. ‘I didn’t even know it was a thing.’
‘Maybe that’s what I should get David for Christmas, not the leather satchel,’ Susie mused, leaning up against the rail at the side of the boat. ‘Shall we go and sit inside? It’s freezing out here and you’re still only dressed for autumn.’
‘No,’ Lara answered. ‘If we sit inside we won’t get the best view of everything. And it’s not that cold.’ She tried to stop her teeth-chattering from giving her away.
‘Well,’ Susie said, pulling the belt on her thick coat a little tighter then moving her hands to the elaborate top-knot on her head and stretching the band containing her hair as if that would produce heat. ‘What do you think about the hair balm for David? For Christmas.’
Lara looked at her friend. ‘Do you really have enough money to buy a small African country? Because when we were pooling our funds to come here it didn’t seem that way.’
‘I have credit cards,’ Susie announced. ‘That’s almost the same thing.’
‘Are you really asking my opinion on what to buy David for Christmas?’
‘Yes,’ Susie said.
‘You really want to know.’
‘Yes!’
‘Well, I would go for something a little more personal than hair products.’
‘Like a diamante thong?’
‘Eww! No! I didn’t know they were a thing either!’ Lara closed her eyes then opened them again. ‘Please tell me he doesn’t have any of those already.’
‘Now I know your opinion on them I don’t think I should say any more.’
Lara looked out over the waves of the tidal river, the water swelling up and around the boat. She had started looking for a Christmas present for Dan back in mid-November. She had spent so much time looking for the perfect gifts for him that spelt out memories of things they had done together. He had always bought her expensive perfume she never wore. Why wasn’t that a warning signal? Just how long hadn’t he been as into her as she had been into him?
‘Where did you first meet David?’ Lara asked Susie as other passengers joined them at the rail, taking photos of the scene, wrapped up, chatting excitedly.
‘You know where I met him! I went to a training session in London and I sat next to him. He offered me a Tic-Tac in Spanish and couldn’t believe I understood him.’
‘And you said you hadn’t understood a word, but he was shaking the box at you.’
Susie laughed hard, as if remembering the moment with all the meet-cute pleasure it had given her at the time. ‘Yes. I thought he was so sweet. And now I think he’s really sexy and still just as sweet.’
Lara smiled at her friend. ‘There’s your Christmas gift inspiration.’ She sucked in some of the cold New York air. ‘Right there.’
Forty-One
Statue of Liberty, Liberty Island
Lara couldn’t believe she was standing underneath one of the world’s most famous landmarks. The Statue of Liberty. A beacon of freedom. An inspiring monument to independence. If someone had said to her a few months ago that this December she would be on the other side of the world seeing this sight, she would never have believed them. It was almost surreal, but for the fact that light snowflakes were kissing her face and tourists were snapping a million photos and Susie was tracking the moves of a guide leading a large party around the island.
‘Ceremony of Dedication 1886, she said,’ Susie pulled at Lara’s arm. ‘Come on or we’ll miss the end of the tour line.’
‘I didn’t know you were so interested in history,’ Lara answered, walking along with her. ‘I thought we were only here for the selfies with Lady Liberty not the whole story.’
‘David likes history,’ Susie answered. ‘And when I tell him some of the facts later he might—’
‘OK,’ Lara answered. ‘Don’t say any more. I get it.’ She wanted some of the history too, if she was honest, but more important than the facts of how the monument came to be, Lara wanted to drink in the symbolism and that really simply meant putting her feet to the ground and being in this moment. Miss Freedom – just like the name of the boat that brought them over to the island. And that was how she was beginning to feel. Free.
‘It wasn’t until 1924 that it became a national monument,’ Susie said to Lara. ‘Are you keeping up with the facts in case I can’t remember them later for David?’
‘Seth asked me on a date.’
Susie drew in a breath that made her hiccup really loudly and the tour guide way ahead of them stopped her speech for a moment. Susie put a hand over her mouth, eyes bulging. The guide continued on.
‘Are you serious?’ Susie eventually managed to get out.
Lara nodded. ‘Yes.’
‘When did this happen?’
‘Last night. After the show. Halfway through my burrito.’
‘And what did you say?’
Lara took a restorative breath, thinking back to the moment she had made her decision. How Seth had reacted to her answer. How her response had seemed like one of the most important answers he had ever been waiting for. ‘I said yes.’
‘Oh my God! Lara! Oh my God! I can’t believe it! You and Dr Mike! Dr Mike!’
‘Seth,’ Lara reminded her friend. ‘His name is Seth.’
‘I know but … oh, wow, this is the best news ever!’
‘Is it?’ Lara said hesitantly.
‘Yes! You’re not having second thoughts, are you?’
‘Well, no … I don’t think so … it’s just … Dan.’ Saying his name, she hoped, would explain everything.
‘Listen to me. That dickhead is currently getting ready to go on a Christmas holiday with Chloe.’
Lara swallowed. It still hurt. All that time together. Time she thought had meant something and now suddenly didn’t.
‘What he is doing is not cool,’ Susie continued. ‘And whatever sort of break or break-up this is, you are not passing up an opportunity to go out with a lovely, lovely, gorgeous guy when Dan is tramping around on Facebook tagging himself with a … skank.’ Susie let out a frustrated sigh. ‘There is no way I a
m going to carry on doing her hair no matter how much she pays. In fact, I might set one of the Saturday twins on her.’
Lara linked arms with her friend, leaning her head on Susie’s shoulder. ‘Thanks, Susie.’
‘What for?’
‘For getting me out of Appleshaw. For giving me the opportunity to see all of this.’ She breathed in, relishing everything about the scene from the flakes of snow falling through the air to the swaying river lapping at the shore of the island. Across the water the towers rose high, like slim spindles in a slightly frosty mist.
‘Not missing Appleshaw at all?’
‘I didn’t say that,’ Lara replied as they strolled, now completely broken apart from the tour guide. ‘I mean anyone who’s had Flora’s mince-pie whisky and Mrs Fitch’s Christmas cake would be missing out a little bit.’ She sniffed. ‘And Aldo will be getting excited about Christmas by now.’
‘Lara, Aldo is excited about Christmas every day from Boxing Day.’
Lara laughed. ‘I know.’
‘And we’re going to be back for Christmas. Doing all those things you love.’
She knew that. And Dan wouldn’t be there. He would be in Scotland. She was coming to terms with that and she knew that Seth was helping. Perhaps this accepting a date with him was just a rebound reaction. Was that wrong? It was simply capturing a moment, wasn’t it? Enjoying each other’s company while it lasted …
Her phone began to trill, and she rushed to get it out of the pocket of her coat. ‘It’s Aldo,’ she told Susie.
‘I don’t believe it,’ Susie said. ‘He’s psychic.’
Lara pressed to accept the FaceTime call. ‘Hi, Aldo! Listen, guess where I am.’
‘China?’ came Aldo’s reply.
Lara laughed. ‘I’m in New York, Aldo.’
‘I know that already,’ he answered, grinning, curly hair bouncing. ‘So, where are you now?’
Susie rolled her eyes and walked on ahead.
‘I’m actually standing here with the Statue of Liberty.’ She pulled in another breath. ‘And she’s beautiful.’
Forty-Two
The Chapel Shelter, W 40th Street
As Seth strode through the doors it felt like everything was suddenly different. He had never felt this way after any audition in the past. When he had got to the call-back he hadn’t been surprised to see a number of really famous names alongside his, but he hadn’t let it faze him. He had focused on Sam, who Sam was, who Seth knew he was, because he felt it inside himself, and then he had performed the requested scenes just like he had at Cafe Cluny. Only even better. When he had finished he was shaking and he had felt the atmosphere shift in the room. A woman, introduced as only Angela, had a Kleenex at her eyes. The panel had all very quickly acted business as usual, but his gut told him this part was his. Perhaps it was a little overconfident to assume but he was quietly hopeful – and he had made a decision. And that’s why he was here.
‘Maggie, please, if you don’t get down from the tree I’m gonna have to call the fire department,’ Kossy said in exasperation.
Seth came into the main room to see Mad Maggie halfway up a giant spruce, even her minuscule weight making the branches bend and bow dangerously. Tinsel was tangled up in Maggie’s hair and wrapped around her wrists were the bags she always refused to put down.
‘Don’t tell her that!’ Felice answered with a tut. ‘Why d’you think she’s up the tree in the first place?’
‘I don’t know, Felice,’ Kossy retorted. ‘I kinda thought she might be off her meds.’
‘Is she ever actually on her meds?’ Felice replied.
Seth stepped forward and put a hand to both sides of his mouth. ‘Hey, Maggie!’
‘Not getting down,’ Maggie muttered. ‘Not getting down. Christmas. Christmas.’
‘Seth!’ Kossy let go of the tree, making it wobble all the more.
Seth reached out and grabbed the trunk, steadying it.
‘It’s my fault,’ Kossy said. ‘I got the trees too big this year. Some of them are treating them like gym apparatus. Maggie’s not the first.’
‘Well, let’s make her the last,’ Seth suggested. He held his hand up as far as he could reach. ‘Hey, Maggie, what say you come down and you have another dance with me.’
‘Hell, I’ll dance with you,’ Felice stated eagerly. ‘Seeing as the Brit girl’s not around.’
‘Not helping, Felice,’ Seth answered, trying to get Maggie’s attention. ‘Maggie!’
‘There’s something about you and people getting up trees just lately,’ Felice continued, sucking on the bottom of one of her dreadlocks.
Seth ignored her and looked back up to Maggie who had recommenced muttering. ‘Maggie, come on, you fall out of that tree you’re gonna hurt yourself, or drop one of your bags.’
‘My bags!’ Maggie took a hand off the spruce, slipping a little. ‘They are my bags!’
‘Honey,’ Kossy began. ‘Nobody is gonna take your bags but, you know, if you stay up there something is gonna spill.’
Maggie seemed to take this latest suggestion on board, looking slightly less edgy.
‘Come on, Maggie,’ Seth continued. ‘Don’t leave me hanging here. I’m waiting for my dance.’ He looked to Felice. ‘Put some music on?’
‘Oh, right, so let me just pull out my iPhone and slip into Spotify!’ Felice shook her head. ‘Jeez! You and your first world life!’
Seth took his phone from his pocket and handed it to her, still maintaining a grip on the fir tree. ‘Here.’
‘Wow!’ Felice remarked. ‘Do I get to keep it?’
‘I think you know the answer to that one.’
In a whirl of Bing Crosby, golden baubles, trailing tinsel and around thirty-eight copies of the New York Times and a confetti of food coupons, Maggie finally arrived at the foot of the tree and clapped Seth into a bear hug of epic proportions.
‘This was when gentlemen were gentlemen,’ Maggie said, her head planted firmly to Seth’s chest as they began a waltz to the music.
‘Are you saying I’m not a gentleman, Maggie?’ Seth asked her, a wry grin on his mouth.
‘I’m saying they’re a rare breed these days.’ Maggie started to sing, very loudly and out of tune and Seth watched Felice clap her hands to her ears.
‘Jeez!’ the younger girl exclaimed. ‘I liked her better when she was up the tree!’ She headed off in the direction of the kitchen.
‘Mom,’ Seth called to Kossy who was straightening branches and refixing tinsel and ornaments.
‘Do you think your dad could shave a metre off the top?’ Kossy replied, stepping closer but eyes firmly fixed on the pine. ‘Or is letting him in here with a chainsaw gonna cause me all sorts of other problems?’
‘I don’t know,’ Seth admitted. ‘Mom, I had my call-back today. For the part I told you about.’
‘You did!’ Kossy exclaimed, wild with excitement. Then he watched her face fall back down to contained and she cleared her throat as if trying to temper her enthusiasm. ‘So how did it go? Any indication that maybe …’
‘It went real well,’ Seth admitted, smiling.
‘Swell-well?’ Kossy said, daring to return his smile a little bit.
‘Swell-well,’ he answered a bit louder over Maggie’s voice hitting Bing’s higher range. ‘I don’t know for sure but … I’ve gotta feeling.’
‘You’ve gotta feeling! I get feelings all the time and mostly they mean nothing but when you get a feeling … well!’ She took a breath. ‘I’m getting a feeling about your feeling!’
‘We’re meant to be dancing!’ Maggie piped up, lifting her head from Seth’s chest. ‘You ain’t dancing if you ain’t moving!’
‘Sorry,’ Seth answered, recommencing shifting his feet in time to the song. ‘Mom,’ he said tentatively. ‘There’s something else.’
‘There is?’ Kossy said, her voice tinged with reticence.
‘Yeah.’ He swallowed, most of his earlier conviction seeming to drain away a
s quickly as the first bottle of wine at the Christmas dinner table. He wanted this. The call-back audition had told him so. The pep talk to himself on the ride over here on the subway had confirmed it. He just needed to say the words. ‘I want to try and find my birth—’ He checked himself. ‘Candice Garcia.’
Maggie blasted out the chorus of ‘I’ll Be Home for Christmas’ as Seth watched for Kossy’s reaction. The mother who had raised him was someone he did not want to hurt with this need. And, he knew, although she had been supportive, had always been supportive, this was going to rock her, despite the impression she might give off.
He watched her nod, eyes glistening with tears, and he wanted to let go of Maggie and go to her, but the homeless woman was gripping him tighter than she held her bags full of her worldly possessions.
‘Mom, listen, I know how you must feel but …’ Seth began, turning in his dance until he was facing Kossy.
‘Seth, I need to tell you something,’ Kossy said, patting down her body and seeming a little confused. ‘Bernadette! Have you seen my phone?’
‘No, Kossy!’ came the reply from across the room.
‘Mom, I’ve really thought about this. I want you to know that.’
‘I do know that, Seth. All you’ve done your whole life is think. Right from the second you picked fruit over arrowroot cookies I knew you were a thinker … oh my God, why is it in my bra? I never put it in my bra!’ She pulled her cell phone out and started pressing the screen. ‘When I started doing this I couldn’t do it. And then I tried to get your dad to do it but he flat-out refused and in the end I did most of it with my eyes shut …’
Kossy’s breathing was getting a little erratic now so Seth tried to ease himself out of Maggie’s grasp. The homeless woman only hung on tighter. He turned his head as Maggie made them circle in time. ‘Mom, what are you talking about?’
‘I couldn’t help it. Lara said – and I thought she was right and now, you coming here telling me what you’ve just told me, I know it was the right thing to do.’ She stuck out the hand containing her phone, shaking it at him.