“Yeah, yeah.” Connor stood and pushed the plate of strawberries and whipped cream back toward Mandy, who held up her hands and shook her head now that someone’s finger had been in it. Connor shrugged and looked around the room.
His first thought was to go for one of the easy targets. Jules hadn’t been singled out yet, and she was always quick to smile, maybe one of the quickest, other than him. She had scooted away from everyone to try to hide from plain view.
Emery sat in front of her, still smiling wide and chuckling with the others around him over Nick’s antics. Jules pointed a jutting finger down at Emery over his head when Connor’s eyes landed on her.
Emery was the absolute king of ‘Honey, if you love me’. Ever since they were Freshman, even before that back in 7th grade doing chorus parts in the Fall Musical, no one had ever been able to get Emery to smile. He’d only ever been ‘it’ for the game if he volunteered to start.
Emery glanced down at the carpet, then flicked his eyes up again to meet Connor’s, his smile settling into something blank but patiently waiting for Connor to move toward him, like he expected him to, wanted him to. A bundle of nerves spread out from the depths of Connor’s stomach. It was the perfect chance to be bold without anyone having to know it meant something more. Even if literally everyone in the room knew anyway.
Connor mustered his most over the top grin, intent on making a real show of this, as he sauntered toward Emery. There were a few snickers, a few comments about there being no way Connor could get Emery to smile, not a chance, and then Connor was on him. Emery sat with his knees drawn up, but dropped them open to let Connor come closer, which was nearly enough to call Connor’s bluff at being able to do this.
He straddled Emery boldly, a knee dropping to either side of him, as a chorus of oohs and aahs sounded loudly around them. “Honey, if you love me,” he said, scooting closer, and practically shaking from how intimately connected they were. He placed his hands on Emery’s chest who, as rules usually dictated, did not touch Connor back, but kept his hands planted on the floor. Connor leaned forward, as if going for Emery’s lips, only to duck to the side at the last moment and whisper, “Won’t you please, please smi—”
They toppled back with a crash, and as Connor clung and tried to right himself, he saw that Jules, who Emery had been half leaning against, had scooted back, holding a hand to her face to keep from laughing too loudly.
Connor was draped all over Emery, on top of him, in front of most of the people they knew. He froze within the din of laughter and louder oohs and aahs that accompanied their topple as he lifted up and saw the stunned, blushing expression on Emery’s face.
“Mavus totally smiled!” someone yelled.
All at once the moment broke.
“No way, it was a grimace from landing on my back!” Emery said, as Connor scrambled off of him and they righted themselves on the carpet.
“Whatever, man, he totally got you.”
“I swear,” Emery defended and turned pleading eyes on Connor. “Back me up.”
If it had been any other cast party over the years, Connor might have played mischievous, ‘Oh, I don’t know about that, Em, maybe you’re just trying to get out of admitting I finally bested you’, but this time, tonight, Connor was drowning, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be saved.
“Must have been a grimace,” he said. “Too bad. Guess I’ll have to get you next time.”
The naysayer groaned, along with a few others, while most of the crowd cheered that Emery was still king. It didn’t matter to Connor. His eyes and focus were only on Emery.
Aurora stood and announced that it was high time they moved onto something else, since Emery retaining his crown all the way to Senior year was a definite sign the game was over. A volley of ideas for what to do next went up around the room, but settled on putting in the DVD of their Freshmen year spring play to reminisce and laugh at old times.
As people moved about to change positions for the best spots around the TV while Aurora set everything up, and a few headed upstairs to refresh their food and drinks, Emery took hold of Connor and dragged him down the hallway toward Aurora’s bedroom.
“Come on, while no one’s looking. Wouldn’t want to make it too obvious we’re headed to one of the bedrooms,” he said quietly. “Someone might get the wrong idea.”
“Right…”
But Emery’s smile was wide again, beaming, which further made it impressive that he could get through round after round of ‘Honey, if you love me’ without cracking. They slipped inside the room and closed and locked the door behind them.
“You sure you’re okay with this?” Emery asked when they moved to sit on the bed.
“Yeah, Em, it makes sense for you to feed now instead of tomorrow, when we’ll be even more exhausted. I’ve told you I don’t mind.”
“I know. You enjoy it, right?” he said with a twist to his smile.
“You think I’m a freak, don’t you?”
“No! I just…I don’t know how to…I mean, I don’t really remember much about what it felt like when Mr. Leonard turned me, so I can’t relate. But as long as it doesn’t hurt you. As long as I’m not…a burden.”
“You could never be a burden to me, Em.” Connor turned to better face him.
“Okay. Do you wanna…lie back maybe? Be more comfortable?” Emery gestured at the full sized bed. That they were sitting on. Together. Alone in a bedroom during a party. And wow, Connor hadn’t realized what a cliché this was until just now. Other than the about to be fed on by a vampire part.
“Sure.”
It felt so unfairly awkward, scooting up the bed, weirder than any time they’d done this before, because that strange new something between them was like some giant pink elephant in the room that they were trying to climb over to reach each other—obvious, ridiculous, and way too big a hurdle to move past without stumbling. Actually picturing a pink elephant in the room did help Connor relax though, difficult as it was not to laugh out loud.
He laid back on the pillow, on top of Aurora’s dark purple comforter, and let Emery lie beside him, propped up, one hand by his head, the other reaching over to box Connor in and support his hovering weight. He didn’t radiate much body heat, but that was probably why he needed to feed sooner. It had gotten used up healing the damage from the wooden bolt. But there was an intimacy in his presence, right there along Connor’s side.
Their eyes met, honey on green, and the light in the room dimmed, all the ambient sounds of the rest of the cast and crew out in the living room fading as Connor succumbed to Emery’s glamour. His nerves left him just as readily, even if it would only last as long as the glamour held. He floated on a cloud with Emery snuggled beside him, tucking into his neck because he wanted to be there, wanted to be close, not only because he needed the nourishment Connor provided.
Even in the glamour, Connor felt the prick of fangs, but it wasn’t painful, not there on his cloud, content and safe. It made him shiver, shudder, cling to Emery with both hands. There was no dizziness as the blood drained, drawn away down Emery’s throat and over his tongue, just bliss.
Mmm, Em’s tongue, Connor thought. He wanted to feel it. He felt it on his neck, but he wanted it against his own, wished he was bold enough to ask for that, to take a chance, turn his head, and pull Emery to him. But the moment was already over, the feeding complete all too quickly. Connor felt a rush of disappointment as the glamour faded.
And then froze when the strokes of Emery’s tongue over his wound became a firm press of lips. Then again, a little higher, closer to the dip behind his ear. Again…
“Em…” he gasped, more like moaned at the feeling of his friend kissing his neck—kissing his neck, not biting him or healing him or something else that could be construed as anything other than kissing.
Emery pulled
away, as startled as Connor had been, his eyes trained on the pillow. “Sorry. I didn’t—”
“No, I…I liked it,” Connor said, breathless, a little dizzy from the feeding, but not enough to want this to end.
Slowly, Emery’s eyes, pupils blown and looking so dark, so black, drifted over Connor’s face. “You’re not still glamoured, right?”
“I’m talking, aren’t I?”
“Can I kiss you again?”
The blossom of nerves in Connor’s stomach expanded so large, he could only nod, unable to form words or think how else to respond.
Emery’s face disappeared into the crook of his neck, another press of lips to where the wound had been. And another. Like trying to make up for every time he had fed from Connor, apology and gratitude combined. Chaste, warm kisses moved higher along the tendon, until he reached Connor’s ear again, just beneath it, and Connor shuddered all down his body from the way it tingled through him.
His right hand reached up, finding the edge of Emery’s T-shirt hanging away from his body. When he pushed past it, he found the skin of his friend’s stomach, so warm now, pulsing with power and blood because of him. His other hand reached for Emery’s head, plastic fingers tangling in his hair, but he didn’t want to hold Emery there. He wanted more than the feather light touches up his neck.
“Em…” He tugged lightly on the thick strands, just enough to get Emery to lift up. With one hand on Emery’s warm skin, the other being as gentle as he could at his head, Connor’s breath hitched at all the possibilities before him. Those dark green eyes shimmered with apprehension, but Connor had no intention of telling Emery to stop.
He tightened his prosthetic’s grip on Emery’s hair, nodded once to make it clear to his friend that, yes, this was everything he wanted, and pulled Emery down until their mouths met.
Chapter 28
Connor’s tongue—god, I never knew how much I’d wanted to feel it. And his mouth. And his skin. All my weight rested on my hands on either side of him, unable to touch him back, but his flesh and blood fingers slid up my chest beneath the shirt, his prosthetic behind my head, holding me as we kissed—kissed. Me and Connor.
All the anxiety I’d been fighting off for days, weeks, drained out of me. I felt awake and alive from the fresh blood, blood he’d offered, that he enjoyed giving me, and channeled it into kissing him deeper. Before suddenly wondering if he tasted blood in my mouth.
“Oh god, is it gross? Do I taste like…?” I brought my hand to my mouth when I pulled back, hoping I hadn’t ruined this.
“Huh?” He blinked at me, a tired and dopey smile in place, and no traces of smeared red on his lips. “What? No. You taste amazing. I think your body absorbs it right away.”
“Oh.”
“Come here.” He pulled me down again, licking into my mouth, plastic hand tangled in my hair, maybe even a little caught, but I didn’t care. He felt so warm, and I was on fire, the blood making my face flush, even as so much of it surged down into my belly.
His other hand got trapped at my collarbone, unable to push any higher in the confines of my shirt. I pulled back and tore it over my head. Connor made a strangled noise at the sight of me, and slid his hand down the faint trail of dark hair below my belly button. Being a vampire didn’t make me any less ticklish; I sucked in a breath.
“I love your pudge…and your treasure trail…and your skin.” He flushed almost immediately after the words left him, and I know I must have too. I wanted him to understand that he did the same thing to me.
“The way you looked all soaking wet, god,” I said. I moved my hands from pressing into the mattress to slide his shirt up, revealing the concave of his stomach, the firm muscles he didn’t realize he had. “Why do you hide all this?”
“Wouldn’t want to blind anyone when I reflect the sun,” he said matter-of-factly, so wholly Connor, I fell forward into him laughing. He laughed too, and coiled his arms around me to hug me to his chest.
Other people couldn’t possibly understand how right it felt to have both flesh and plastic fingers at my back, touching my bare skin. I pushed my hands up to his shoulders, stretching his T-shirt more than I should, and nuzzled my face against his neck where I’d bitten. Not even a faint line or hint of reddened skin remained. I pressed another kiss there.
Connor whined and pushed at me. When I lifted up, he arched his neck to reconnect our kiss. Most of my weight was on top of him now, my upper half fully covering him while my legs lay to the side. As we kissed, hurried and wet, I shifted, lifted one leg over him until I straddled him and our hips aligned.
I tugged at his T-shirt until he stopped kissing me long enough to pull it over his head. My hands returned to his chest, smoothed down his shoulders and arms. I rocked into him. Gasped. Rocked again.
“W-Wait, Em. Are we going too fast?”
I froze as I lifted up to look down at him. His cheeks were rosy, his lips pink, his eyes hazy and impossibly dark beneath me.
“Only because it’s us, and this is all weirdly awesome,” he said. “Or is skipping to the good part sort of mandatory, because it’s…us, and this is all weirdly awesome?”
I ran one hand over the closely cropped edges of his hair. “Do you want to stop?”
“Not even a little. I’ve wanted this for so long.”
I almost let our lips touch again before that registered. “How long?”
Some of the apprehension I’d been seeing from him the past several days wavered in his gaze. “Way longer than I’m comfortable admitting.”
I kissed him. I hadn’t imagined it. He did want me, had for a long time. My nerves dwindled with each new press of our lips, leaving behind raw, buzzing want.
If I hadn’t fed, I think I would have wanted to bite him, but as much as that passing realization worried me, it was gone a moment later. I wanted to taste him with my tongue not my teeth. Because it was Connor. And he was wonderful. Knew every crevice and dark corner of me and still wanted to be my friend. He’d been there during the worst and best of my life, both of which seemed to have found me in only the past month. We slotted together like it had always been this way, like maybe we’d done it all before in another life and just hadn’t known it until now.
“Do you think Aurora will kill us for doing this on her bed?” I said, grinning.
“I think she’ll throw us a party,” Connor said. “Then kill us. So worth it.”
We kissed, pawed at each other’s bare chests, and rocked through our jeans. I felt overheated in the best way. I reached between us to pull down Connor’s zipper.
He tensed and grabbed my hands with both of his. “Um, wait, I, uhh…I lied.”
“You don’t want to—”
“I do! I don’t mean that. But, uhh…remember when I told you I lost my virginity to Andy Grayson?”
I relaxed my hands against his stomach. “You lost it to someone else?”
“No…we maybe got about as far as him attempting to steal third base and I chickened out. I’ve fooled around with others, you know, but nothing really substantial. I’ve always been too hung up on you.” He paused, his eyes going wide like he thought I’d be shocked to hear that. I was—Connor had been hung up on me? For how long, how many months, years? But it didn’t change anything about what I wanted now. “I just don’t want you expecting much,” he said quietly, “since I’m a little more inexperienced than I let on.”
“And you think Liz and Mandy means I’m any different?” I’d told him every time I had sex, which wasn’t any grand number—my two high school girlfriends was plenty, sometimes felt like too much when it hadn’t worked out with either of them.
Now I felt awful for having told him, if he’d secretly wanted me all that time. Not that I’d ever gone into detail, that never seemed right, but when I thought back on it now, his
groans of ‘ew, dude!’ from just admitting I’d slept with them probably held more meaning than I’d realized.
I reached one hand for his face. It was soft, barely any fuzz. His father, despite his bald head, could grow a beard almost as thick as my dad’s, but Connor had inherited his mother’s finer hair. His cheek felt smooth beneath my hand, and he shuddered at the touch.
“This is new territory—period,” I said. “We don’t have to do anything else. I want to, I do, but I only just realized how much I was missing. We can wait. Whatever you want. I’m just glad I can finally tell you, I was so scared to, but…” I didn’t know how to explain that it had taken becoming a vampire to wake me up.
“Me too, Em,” he said, his human fingers curling around mine that still rested at his beltline, and drawing them back to the zipper. “It’s always been you. I’ve always only wanted you. I’ve waited long enough.”
His kiss was searing, biting. I even felt his teeth a little, insistent and fierce. Connor was goofy on his best days, jittery and animated. I didn’t expect the way he could be slow, and deliberate, and focused all on me. I was so blind. He’d been focused on me all this time.
I don’t remember hearing anything else from the peanut gallery out in the living room. Maybe an occasional louder cheer as they laughed watching our Freshman Spring Play, but the words didn’t reach us.
Aurora’s clock showed that at least an hour had passed when I finally looked at it, lying beside Connor. Only I wasn’t tired like I might have been when I was human. I still felt invigorated from the blood. Adrenaline pumping from everything else. But sweaty and breathless and content.
I looked at Connor. His eyes were closed, but his mouth stretched in a wide grin.
“It really sucks how hungry I am right now, because I do not want to leave this bed,” he said, stretching his arms above his head at odd angles like a yawning cat. With his shirt off I could see where his prosthetic connected to his elbow. It looked so red next to his white skin.
Life as a Teenage Vampire Page 23