“Hey, where are you at?” Jacob rubbed her shoulder. “Are you worried about the letter from your mom?”
Tori shook her head. “No, but I’ve been thinking—”
“Oh shit, that’s never good.” Jacob’s chest moved up and down under her as he tried to suppress a laugh.
Tori lifted and slapped his shoulder, causing him to laugh harder. “No, brat.” She took a deep breath and stared at him.
All playfulness drained from his expression. He tucked her hair behind her ears. “What is it?”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I was wondering how you would feel about me taking a hiatus from Guardian—at least until the boys are older.”
Jacob mimicked her position, resting on his elbow as he looked at her. “You know that I would have absolutely no objection to you being a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t think that’s what you wanted.”
Tori shrugged. “It wasn’t in the past. I think it may be now. It’s just that over the last year, things at work have started to consume more and more time. I think I’ll approach Gabriel and ask him for a leave of absence.”
Jacob leaned forward and tenderly kissed her lips. “I’ll support whatever decision you make. Our boys are well-adjusted, and they know they are loved. If you want this, then I say go for it.”
Tori smiled at him and waggled her eyebrows. “Maybe, just maybe, there will be more time for mommy and daddy.”
Jacob smiled at her. “I’ll take the fringe benefit.”
Tori pushed him down to the mattress. “I somehow thought you would.” She climbed over him and off the bed, soliciting several sharp groans from a slip and slide with her elbow and one awkwardly placed knee. She moved through the small apartment to the kitchen counter and grabbed the old envelope. Padding back to the bedroom, she gratefully slid in beside Jacob as he held up the covers.
They settled against the pillows and she twirled the envelope in her hand. “Well, I guess there’s no time like the present.” She opened the envelope and withdrew the paper. With a glance at Jacob and his confirming nod, she unfolded the single sheet of paper and read aloud.
Dearest Victoria,
I asked your father in the letter I wrote him to give this to you when you turned eighteen. I wanted to explain a few things and hopefully help you to understand why I left.
Tori sat up in bed. Jacob lifted right behind her. “What the actual fuck? She was going to leave Dad? Leave us?” She waved the paper at him.
Jacob took the letter from her hand. “Babe, maybe we should wait until your father reads his letter.”
“Oh, hell no!” Tori reached for the yellowing paper. “She was going to leave us. I want to know why.”
Jacob held the paper away from her. “Sweetheart, you need to calm down.” He lifted his hand and stopped her from the angry retort that formed on her lips. “We’ll read it, but you have to remember your mother didn’t leave. We don’t know why she wrote these letters. It could have been a bad time in her life. She could have written this letter and then decided to try to make it work with your dad. We don’t know.”
Tori shook her head. “Don’t make excuses. She was going to leave us. Jacob, give me the letter.” Tori leveled a stare at him.
He handed her the letter and leaned in to kiss her shoulder. “Just remember, babe, nothing in that letter changes a thing about us, your dad or your sister. This letter is a ghost. It only has the power to upset you if you let it.”
Tori nodded and settled next to Jacob in the bed. She lifted the paper and continue to read.
When your father and I met, I had recently broken up with my fiancé. His family was wealthy, not unlike your father's, but his wealth came from old money, not land and cattle. The reason we broke up was ridiculous, at least to me. His parents refused to acknowledge me. I came from poverty and had nothing to bring into a marriage. That made me unacceptable in their eyes. Since his inheritance was tied to their permission, he had to abide by his parents’ demands. I was heartbroken. Devastated. When your father and I started dating, I was wounded. Your dad was gentle and kind. He helped to repair my heart. He is such a good man.
As you probably know, your father and I were married because I became pregnant with Keelee. I loved your sister from the moment I knew she was in my womb, just as I love you more than you’ll ever know. One day, if you have children, perhaps you’ll understand that comment. The bond between a mother and a child is irreplaceable. I hope that my leaving won’t break that beautiful relationship, although I know your trust in me will be shattered.
I do love your father, but it’s a different kind of love than the love I feel for Richard. Frank Marshall is a wonderful man. He is a fantastic father. I will never take that away from him. What he is not, is the love of my life. Your father deserves to be that to some woman.
I’m dying slowly here on the ranch. I can’t breathe. I can’t live. It is as if my entire life has been placed in a suspension. I reached out to Richard. It was a hard decision, but one I had to make.
Richard asked me to meet him in Denver. His parents have passed away, and he has inherited. I have to take the chance on being with my soul mate. I’m so sorry for leaving you, baby. If I stay here on the ranch, no matter how much I love you and your sister, I will wither away and die.
I think the greatest kindness I can perform is removing myself completely from your life. I plan on keeping in contact with your father. Hopefully, he’ll give you this letter and a telephone number where you can reach me. If you choose not to call, I understand. You are in my heart, and always will be. I pray that you have grown up happy. I know that if I had stayed, my misery would have affected you, your sister, and your father. Please know I am doing what I feel is necessary. I will always love you, my darling Victoria.
Mom
Tori dropped the letter to her lap and leaned into Jacob. Her soul was bereft. Her mother, a woman she barely remembered, had been preparing to leave them when she'd died. She sat up and turned to Jacob. "Do you think this Richard knew Mom died? Or do you think he assumed she stayed with us instead?"
Jacob blinked at her and shook his head. "I... I wouldn't know."
Tori chewed her bottom lip. "I can find him."
"You have a first name." Jacob sat up and took the letter from her, scanning the contents.
"Dad would know."
"And you're going to ask him, aren't you?" Jacob folded the letter and placed it on the bedside table.
"As soon as I know he's read his letter. Think about it, if this Richard didn't know... can you imagine what he felt when she didn't show up?" Tori's mind raced at the implications.
"Don't you think contacting this man would upset your father?" Jacob pulled her back down with him.
Tori settled against his warm chest and sighed. "I don't think so. As gruff as Daddy is, he's one of the kindest men I've ever met. Closure for this Richard is something we can give him."
Jacob sighed and wrapped both arms around her. "Just don't push your dad. Let him take his time, and if he doesn't remember this guy's name, promise me you won't push him."
"I won't, but you watch, he'll remember, and he'll tell me." Tori closed her eyes for a second before she shoved the thoughts of her mother and father from her mind. She was alone with her husband with no chance of interruption. There were so many other things to capture her attention.
Chapter 7
Joy stood on the porch of their home and stared down the winding drive that led from the county road to the ranch. She’d fucked up. She shouldn’t have let Jillian talk her into it. She paced back and forth on the wooden porch. Sasha, her dog, paced along with her.
“Are you going to tell me?” Dixon’s voice didn’t startle her. She’d heard him come to the door. The telltale sound of the creaky floorboard, three boards in from the front door, indicated she had company.
Joy glanced at him and narrowed her eyes. Was she going to tell him? She gazed down the long, desolate, gravel road again.
“Seriously, what has you so worked up? Have you accepted an assignment? Do you have to go again before Christmas?” Dixon walked out on the porch and wrapped his arms around her. Of necessity, her pacing stopped.
“Hell, no. We talk about my assignments.” They had an agreement. She still worked; he still worked. They talked about her assignments—not the particulars—but she didn’t just disappear. Communication. It’s a thing, or at least for them it was. No matter how sparse that communication was.
“Then what has you so on edge?” Dixon pulled her tight into him.
The warmth of his body inside his open, down-filled coat reached out to her. She may have snuggled deeper into his chest. Okay, she totally did.
He reached down and nudged her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
She huffed and shook her head. “I may have done something.”
“Something good, or something bad? And if it’s bad, do we need a cleanup crew?”
Joy slugged her husband, garnering a well-earned grunt from him. “I cleanup my own messes.” She twirled and walked away, casting yet another glance down the access road.
Dixon snickered. He ambled across the wooden porch and pulled her into his arms. “I know you do, babe. It’s one of the things I love about you. Care to tell me what terrible thing you think you did?” Dixon started rocking back and forth, and cradled in his arms, she swayed with him.
“I’m worried you won’t like your Christmas gift, and that shit pisses me off. Because, hello, it’s a fucking gift. I mean, seriously, if you don’t like it, it’s not like you can fucking give it back.” Joy rolled her eyes at the vomit of words falling from her mouth. She was turning into such a… fucking girl.
Dixon chuckled and lowered his lips to her ear. “I told you we didn’t have to exchange gifts this year. I know you don’t celebrate Christmas. It’s not like I’m forcing you to do this. Whatever you got me, send it back.”
Her ears told her before her eyes looked to the horizon. A truck bounced down the gravel road heading toward the ranch. She sighed loudly and shook her head. “Can’t.” This was really going to happen.
Dixon straightened. His eyes had caught the movement, also. “I thought everybody was here.” He turned his head and let out a shrill whistle.
She heard Drake’s boots against the floorboards as he came to the front door. “What?”
“Did Frank tell you about anyone else coming out? Do we have any deliveries? I know we don’t for the complex, but maybe the ranch?” Dixon nodded toward the truck that was still driving down the long road.
She could distinguish the color now. Blue. Strange, she’d pegged him for a black truck kinda guy.
“No. I thought all the feed deliveries were done.” Drake opened the storm door and stepped outside. The warmth of the outside heaters they’d installed on the porch kept it comfortable.
“That is not a delivery.” She turned around. “Jillian will want to be here.” Joy lifted an eyebrow when Drake failed to move. “That would mean you need to get her.”
“Yup, bossy, bossy, bossy,” Drake drawled as he turned to go back into their home.
“I wouldn’t have to be bossy if you listened the first time,” Joy grumbled under her breath. She and Drake got along. Mostly. Dixon had yet to convince her his brother wasn’t a little… slow.
“Who is it?” Dixon still had his arms around her, although he’d stopped rocking. His attention was firmly fixed on the filthy, four-wheel-drive, metallic-blue, truck. The door burst open, and Jillian bounced outside and squealed, “Is that them? Are they here already? They made good time.”
“Is that whom? D, do you know what’s going on?” Drake asked as he came out of the house and held Jillian’s coat out to her.
Dixon snugged Joy closer to him. “No, but I reckon we’re about to find out.”
Joy leaned back in his arms to look at her husband. “Jillian and I made arrangements to have your little brother and his family come for Christmas.” She nodded at the truck. “That would be them.”
Dixon tensed behind her. It was a moment of truth. She glanced at Jillian, who hadn’t stopped smiling. Obviously, she had no concerns about the gift. Maybe she was so uneasy with the visit because Ethan’s new stepfather was her ex-lover. That was one subject she hoped to avoid. Very awkward. She didn’t do awkward. Hell, she barely did people.
Drake slapped Dixon on the arm. “Holy shit, we get to meet our little brother. This is fucking fantastic!” Drake pulled Jillian toward the steps and waved at the truck to catch the driver’s attention.
“You did this for me?” Dixon whispered the words beside her ear.
She nodded. Yeah, she did. “I knew where Ethan was, and who he was with.”
“Who was he with?” Dixon stepped beside her and draped his arm over her shoulder, pulling her with him toward the stairs of the porch.
“He and his mother now live with a prior associate of mine.” She shrugged as if she hadn’t just told Dixon his little brother was living with a Shadow. Yeah, she could pull off the nonchalant shit. Hopefully, Lycos would keep his mouth shut. She rolled her eyes. Ryan was not a conversationalist; he’d keep his mouth shut.
Dixon leaned down and kissed her temple. “Thank you. Thank you for making this happen. I should have reached out before. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how his mother would respond.”
“From what I understand, she’s a good woman who was stuck in a very bad place.” She could empathize. She prayed that Bethanie and Lycos would finally find the happiness she’d discovered.
The truck pulled to a stop in front of the ranch house. The back door on the passenger side swung open and a gangly young man hopped out of the truck. “Wow! Mom, Dad, look at this! There’s cows over there! And horses, look, look! Horses!”
Joy watched as Lycos exited the truck. Time had treated her old lover very well, but it would seem that Bethanie and Ethan had treated him better. There was a relaxed air and a happiness that exuded from the man. His wide smile as he stared at his son was… breathtaking. She couldn’t help the answering smile on her face either.
A petite blonde with a riot of curls that actually bounced as she jumped down from the big truck laughed at her son. “Ethan, slow down. Come over here.”
She’d met Bethanie in person in New York when they planned her escape. Since then, she’d talked to Bethanie several times while planning the Christmas surprise. Bethanie’s primary concern was Ethan. She was not a fan of keeping their arrival secret. Jillian was the one who practically demanded they keep the visit as a Christmas surprise. The only other person who knew the trio was coming was Kaeden. She had to ensure, one, Lycos was welcome as an ex-Shadow, and two, there would be room for the family on the complex side if shit hit the fan and staying at their house was a no-go. Kaeden assured them the family would be welcome, and there was plenty of room.
Lycos waited for Bethanie and Ethan to stand with him before he met her eyes. Yes, he’d changed. She’d never seen him so settled in his own skin. She stepped forward and did the introduction thing. “Ryan, Bethanie, this is Dixon, my husband, and as you can tell that is Drake, his twin brother, and his wife, Jillian. They are Ethan’s older brothers. Dixon, Drake, your brother Ethan.”
The boisterous child suddenly became shy and practically hid behind Lycos. “Hi.” The kid lifted his hand and waved.
Neither Dixon nor Drake moved. Joy turned to look at her husband. He and Drake had the same expressions on their face. They were lost in a past full of memories. She reached out and touched Dixon’s arm. He jumped and glanced at her before a massive smile split his face. He walked down the steps with Drake right beside him, and held out his hand to his younger brother. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ethan. I’m Dixon, the smarter, better twin.”
“Smarter? Better? No way. I’m Drake; you’ll like me more.”
“More? No way, because I’m going to show Ethan the barn.”
Ethan’s eyes were as round as pie tins. Bethanie laughed at her son. “Ethan would love to see the animals. He has a wolf at home that is going to miss him dearly.”
“Yeah, but Dog is awesome. He can take care of himself, but Dad and I put out food for him just in case. Some days those damn rabbits are hard to find.”
“Ethan!” Bethanie’s face turned lobster red.
“What? It’s true, right, Dad?” Ethan blinked between his parents.
“I believe your mother was reprimanding you for your language, young man.” Lycos tussled the kid’s hair as he laughed at the face his son made.
“Hey, Jillian, would you please grab our gloves and hats?” Drake smiled as his wife flew into the house at his request.
Lycos turned to Joy. “Thank you again for inviting us. Ethan and Bethanie have been looking forward to meeting their family.”
Dixon, Drake, Ethan and Bethanie were laughing and practically talking over one another.
She looked up at the man she once believed she’d loved. Perhaps she had, in a way. “Jillian led the charge on this one.” The woman she just mentioned flew out of the house with an arm full of wool and leather. Jillian tossed Joy a jacket on the way down the steps. To say Jillian was excited would be an understatement.
“Dad, are you coming to the barn with us?” Ethan glanced back at Lycos.
“I’ll be there in just a minute.” Lycos smiled indulgently at the kid. Ethan shouted okay and took off at a jog to catch up with Dixon and Drake. Bethanie smiled at Lycos and fell into step with Jillian. The two women trailed the trio at a much slower pace.
“Being in love looks good on you.” Joy turned her attention from the gaggle of people heading toward the barn to Lycos.
“It’s something I didn’t believe could happen.” His eyes tracked his family.
Joy got it; she knew that feeling. “Anubis has living quarters for you on the complex side if things don’t work out here. He also wants to talk to you. He asked that you set aside an hour the day after Christmas.”
Passages (The Kings of Guardian Book 13) Page 5