by A. J. Wynter
“Do you ladies need any help with anything?” There was a question in his voice, and it was easy enough to read between the lines. He was asking what she was doing at the party.
“We were just dropping off a sample. I had no idea there was a…” She paused. “Get together here tonight.”
“That’s one way you could describe it,” he laughed. “I don’t think Coach is going to be very happy about this.”
Amber waved her hand. “I don’t know his rules about parties.”
I wondered if that was a lie. It wasn’t a secret that the Otters were forbidden to party the night before a game. At least that had been the rule when I hung out with Leo. Maybe things had changed since then.
He laughed. “We’ve got a big practice tomorrow. I don’t think he’ll kick any of us off the team, but I’m heading home to get a good night’s sleep.”
Brown noser, I thought to myself, but curiosity overwhelmed me. If I stayed in the car, I would never get a good look at the goody-two-shoes player with the washboard abs.
I got out of the car and hobbled around the front. Amber shot me a surprised look.
He was better looking than I had imagined. Dark hair, shorter than most players, and perfectly tousled, framing his tanned face. It was too dark to see his eye color, but his smile lit up the night. “Hi.” His eyes blinked hard as he saw me, and there was a slight stammer in his voice.
Amber shot me a wry smile. “Gunnar, this is Faith. She’s just moved back to Laketown and is working with me at Mel D Designs.”
“Faith.” He nodded and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Gunnar.” I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I said his extremely sexy name.
“Lockwood,” he added. I didn’t think his smile could be any bigger or any brighter, but he proved me wrong. I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle right there on the driveway at Pine Hill. “Welcome home,” he added.
We shook hands, his engulfing mine. I could’ve imagined it, but I swear he let his hand linger before letting go of mine. He slipped both of his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and the hem of his t-shirt rose, revealing a well-defined sex muscle. At least, that’s what I called the perfectly cut lower side ab that plunged below the waistband of his jeans.
“Thank you.” My voice was a little higher than I would have liked.
His gaze dropped to the ground and I realized I was standing on the driveway with a dirt-caked bare foot. I tried to tuck it behind the other, but there was no hiding my size ten flipper feet.
He tilted his head ever so slightly but didn’t say anything about the shoeless lady in front of him. “Take it easy on the road out of here.” He then held the door, so that Amber could get into the car. “A moose is living in the swamp and the mosquitoes have been driving him out of the bush onto the roads.”
Amber climbed in and buckled her seatbelt. Gunnar closed her door, and then rushed to open mine.
“Thank you.” Unlike the drunken cottagers at Valerock, this totally sober, and understatedly sexy man seemed to be a unicorn, a complete gentleman.
“Well, well, well. Looks like Faith Dawson isn’t immune to the charms of ALL men.”
I was too shaken up from the interaction to retort with something feisty. “He seems different.” It was the best I could come up with, but also felt true.
“You seem different.” Amber adjusted the dial on the radio as we drove away. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so flustered.”
“I guess it’s rare to meet a true gentleman.”
“It is.” Amber smiled. “But that’s not what I was talking about. Who were you hiding from back there? I’ve never seen you hide from anything or anyone.”
I sighed. The adrenaline from meeting Gunnar Lockwood was short-lived as I remembered the flash of Leo’s eyes as they searched the forest. Luckily, I was able to hide behind a tree like a little kid. A little kid with scraped-up knees and a missing loafer.
I wiggled my toes on the floor mat. “Could you do me a favor Amber?”
She turned down the radio even lower. “Only if you tell me what happened back there.”
“I will.” I sighed. If we were going to be spending every day together, she might as well know why I didn’t want to be within ten feet of Leo.
“What’s the favor?”
“Could you ask Kent Fitzgerald to keep an eye out for a shoe that matches this one?” I reached and took off my shoe. “They may look worn out, but I bought them in Italy, and they mean a lot to me.”
Amber pressed on the brake pedal. “We should go back. It’s got to be right there.”
“No, I don’t want to go back. Just, Amber, please. Tell Mr. Fitzgerald to save the shoe if he finds it.”
Amber furrowed her brow at me but gingerly pressed down the gas pedal. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back?”
“I’m sure.”
With that, she resumed her snail-like pace down the dark gravel road. “Kent has a grounds crew that works here throughout the week. He won’t find your shoe, but they probably will. I’ll be sure that it gets back to you.”
“Thanks.” The claustrophobic feeling lifted when we emerged from the darkness and onto the open highway, and I breathed a little easier the further we got from away from Pine Hill.
The tires hummed on the road and I knew that Amber was waiting for me to tell the story. I opened my mouth a couple of times, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, I turned up the twangy country song that was playing.
“Oh no, you don’t.” Amber jabbed at the button and silence filled the cabin of the car. “Spill, Faithy.”
I rubbed my hands on my jeans. “Those three guys back there…”
Pausing, I tried to think about what I was going to say, how I was going to make it sound the way that it felt–hard, not frivolous, or immature.
“Mmhmm.” Amber nodded.
“The tall one, with the golden hair…”
“Leo,” Amber interjected.
“Yeah, Leo.” It felt weird to say his name out loud. “We used to be friends and now we’re not.”
I clapped my hands on my thighs and turned on the radio.
My head jerked forward as Amber slammed on the brakes. I winced as the seatbelt locked and cut into my collarbone. “What?” I strained to look into the darkness in front of us. “Is it the moose?”
“Yeah.” Amber put the car in park and turned to face me directly. “The moose. It must’ve leaped into the forest.”
I rubbed my shoulder. “There was no moose, was there…”
“Nope.” Amber crossed her arms. “This car is not moving until you tell me the whole story.”
“I did.” I looked down at the door handle beside me and wondered how long it would take me to walk into town in half a pair of shoes after escaping from Amber’s interrogation session.
“Listen,” Amber sighed, leaning her elbow on the steering wheel. “I can’t force you to talk, but you know, Faith. I think that you hold a lot in–and it’s not good for you.”
When I first started hanging out with Amber, I’d focused on the fact that she was over ten years older than me. Sure, we had different tastes in music, and she’d seen some weird movies I’d never heard of, but other than that, she seemed like a contemporary. We laughed and giggled together, and we had a lot of the same insecurities, ones that I thought disappeared when women hit their thirties. It was both reassuring and disheartening to know that we were going through the same things. But at that moment, her maturity shone through. My college friends would’ve backed off, and even though I didn’t want to talk about Leo, because inevitably it meant talking about my dad, I could see not only the tenacity shining in Amber’s eyes but also the genuine concern.
I picked at the skin beside my thumbnail and noticed that I could use a touch-up on my manicure. I liked to pair my lip color with my nails, and as I stretched my hand out, the cherry red was starting to look a little tired.
“Leo and
I were high school friends. He wasn’t my best friend or anything cliché like that.” A fake laugh slipped out and I realized that I was nervous. We had never said as much, but Leo had known me for longer and more deeply than any of my high school girlfriends. Even though he hadn’t had the title, the guy actually was my best friend. “We were close.” That felt accurate without putting a label on it.
“What kind of close?” Amber’s voice had dropped into growly mama bear range.
The nervous laugh slipped out again, but at least this time it was real. “Don’t worry, not that kind of close.”
Amber relaxed in her seat but didn’t say anything, and I knew that she was giving me time to compose myself. “We were friends. His mom is the cutest little Italian lady. His dad took off when he was a kid.” I had never met Leo’s dad, but in photos he looked like a Viking, tall with white blond hair. “My mom looked after him after school every day until he was old enough to go home and make his own mac and cheese.” I smiled, remembering the games we used to play. To this day the smell of mothballs reminded me of hiding amongst the winter coats, hoping his mom couldn’t find him when she arrived to pick him up, so he could stay and play a little longer. “My dad played hockey with him in the driveway, and…” The lump in my throat came bigger and faster than I thought it would. “Leo claimed that’s who taught him his slap shot.”
Amber nodded. “I heard it’s the best in the league.”
I swiped away the wetness from my eye with the back of my hand. “It is.” My voice wavered, but I was able to clear the lump and regain my composure. “I mean, it was. I haven’t kept up with his… stats.”
A car slowed, its lights reflecting off the rear view mirror. Amber unrolled the window and waved for the good Samaritan to pass, but the huge old man mafia car pulled up beside us.
“Is everything alright?”
Even though I’d only heard it once, I recognized the voice. It belonged to Mr. Sex Abs, Gunnar Lockwood. “Everything is fine, thank you for stopping.”
Gunnar’s eyes pierced through the darkness and when my red-rimmed eyes met his, he jerked his head back like he’d been shocked. That’s when I knew that Gunnar was the kind of guy who could face down a grizzly bear, but emotion would send him running for the hills. “Get home safely, Mrs… Coach.”
Amber smiled, “It’s just Amber.”
“Right. Good night ladies.” He put on his baseball hat and the car roared as he pulled onto the highway. As his taillights disappeared Amber turned to me. “It still catches me off guard that strangers stop to help each other here. Even in the middle of the night.”
I knew at least fifteen people I could call at any time, day or night if I had a flat tire or my car was broken down on the side of the road. “It’s one of the good things about living here.”
“I guess.” Amber didn’t seem convinced. I forgot that she came from big-city life in Florida, where a strange car creeping up in the middle of the night would not be a good thing.
The distraction had given me some time to get my thoughts together and before Amber could prompt me, I continued. “Leo and I were friends throughout high school. We made a pact that if we didn’t have a date for prom, we would go together.”
Amber smiled. “It sounds like a movie.”
“A cheesy one,” I laughed. “And that’s not the worst part. We even swore that if we weren’t married by the time we were thirty-five—to other people—,” I laughed, clarifying, “That we would marry each other.”
“I think that I’ve seen that movie.” Amber smoothed her hands over the leather-wrapped steering wheel. “So, what happened? I’m guessing that your deal is off.”
I scoffed. “It’s been off for a while now.” My nails caught my attention again, and I picked at the index finger polish. I sighed and tucked my hands under my legs. “Back in high school, Leo was…” I paused, realizing that Amber might not know about the Lion’s commitment issues. “A player.” I laughed and continued, “and, I don’t mean hockey.”
“I figured as much.”
I wondered how much Coach Covington knew about his players and how much of that he relayed to his girlfriend. Did they talk about the puck bunnies over their morning coffee?
“Is that why you two never got together?”
“No.” I shook my head. “It was never like that with us. We grew up together, I talked to him about my boyfriends, and he tried to give me advice.”
Amber nodded. “What happened then?”
The day he told me he had a girlfriend felt both like a million years ago and like yesterday. “He took my advice.” I pressed my hand to my chest and could feel my heart thumping. “And tried to get serious with a girl.”
Her lips pursed like she knew what was coming next but didn’t interrupt.
“I had no problem with it. I was happy for him. Kind of. I mean, he could’ve chosen someone better.” I realized that I was stumbling over my words and my story was all over the place. “Sorry, let me get to the point. It doesn’t matter how dumb she was, she didn’t like Leo hanging out with me.”
“Ah.” Amber nodded. “It sounds like you had the kind of friendship that most girls would find threatening.” She emphasized the word ‘girls’.
“She was an immature girl.” I also emphasized the word. “She told Leo that he had to choose, her or me.”
Amber gasped. “No. And he chose…”
“Katie or Caitlyn, or whatever the hell her name was. This sounds so immature.” I realized that I was talking to someone in a committed relationship about some literal high school level bullshit.
Amber tilted her head and smiled. “It doesn’t matter. Obviously, it hurt you.”
“That wasn’t the worst part. I mean, I kind of understood where she was coming from.”
“Of course, because you’re not, or never were, a silly little girl.”
“I’ve had my moments,” I laughed. I loved how Amber thought that I was this highly evolved woman. “I agreed to give Leo and whatshername space. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to last and we’d be hanging out again in three to six weeks – tops.”
Amber furrowed her brow. “I don’t get it.”
I shivered. “I’ll keep going with the story if you turn on the heat.” Goosebumps prickled on my arms.
Amber started up the car and turned on the heat. “Because Leo didn’t have a dad, he treated mine as a stand-in. I mean, there were some days that I think my dad thought Leo was the son he never had.” My eyes stung and I squeezed them tightly. “When my dad disappeared, Leo didn’t care.”
Amber fanned her chest and turned down the fan one notch. “I’m sure he cared.”
I shook my head and rubbed my arms. “Nope. He didn’t participate in the search. He didn’t say or do anything. Like, he did absolutely NOTHING.” I slapped my palms on my legs. He knew how close I was with my dad. Some days were so rough, that no one could understand what I was going through. There had been only one person who I thought could understand, who knew me and knew my dad, and knew the kind of hell I had to be going through.” I remembered looking at my phone, that terrible text burning a hole in my heart. “I told Leo that I needed him, and he wasn’t there for me. He told me that I had to suck it up and deal with it.”
Amber shook her head and muttered under her breath, “Coward.”
I nodded. “That’s what I thought. I tried to talk to him about it, but the c-word he was with, still wouldn’t let him anywhere near me – and that’s when I lost all respect for Leo. He’s not a lion to me.”
“He is.” Amber turned down the heat another notch. “He’s just a cowardly one.”
It wasn’t the temperature. It was the memories that were sending chills through my body. “I’ve never thought about it like that. Leo the cowardly lion.” I liked the image of a lion with its tail between its legs, trembling in fear. Finally. I could picture him without resentment or anger. “You’re right. He’s a damn coward.”
As the anger le
ft my body, so did the goosebumps. I turned off the heat. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Amber rubbed my arm.
“I’ve never really talked about it. I feel…” The warmth of the night had started to seep into my body. “Lighter.”
Amber clicked out of her seatbelt and leaned over to hug me. Her embrace chased away the last of the chills. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
Even though I didn’t have Leo as a friend anymore, I had Amber, and she was a million times better. Headlights flashed in the rearview mirror. “Let’s get out of here before we have to scare off another knight in shining armor wielding a tire iron.”
Amber didn’t look at me, but I could see the slight smirk on her face. “What if the first knight in shining armor came back? I could see you with someone like Gunnar.”
We came to a stop at the lone set of traffic lights in town, and the red light cast a glow in the car. Even though Gunnar was the only guy who had made my heart skip a beat in years, I shrugged off the comment. “I think putting the cowardly lion behind me is the only fairy tale experience I need tonight.”
Six
Leo
The buzz from the fluorescent lights was the only thing I could hear in the barn. A glance to my left and right told me that Mike and Dylan were bracing themselves for a classic Coach Covington outburst. I shuffled in place, not daring to lean on my stick or look like I was slacking off. Pacey, the assistant coach, glanced nervously between his clipboard and the coach.
Instead of throwing something, the coach did something more unnerving. He muttered something to Pacey and then skated off the ice.
“What the fuck?” Dylan whispered as best as he could with his mouthguard clenched between his teeth.
No one dared to move or say anything. The boards slammed behind Coach, the plexiglass rattling with his exit.
It was up to me or my Assistant Captain, Gunnar, to lead the team. Gunnar leaned jauntily on his stick and raised his eyebrows at me. I was the Captain because I’d been on the team for four years, but more importantly, I was Captain because everyone liked me. I hadn’t been chosen because of my leadership skills.