They went over the photographs together then, and Rose couldn’t help noticing Pascale’s flawless body. She circled the friendlier, more casual shots to include in the piece, eliminated the naked ones with a red “X,” and tried not to focus too much on her belly. Nicolas was sitting close to her in several of the shots. They selected one where she was dressed and you couldn’t see her belly at all. They were the most benign, least suggestive shots of the shoot, all in good taste.
The photos she chose would illustrate the story well, but didn’t have the tabloid feel Rose wanted to avoid. She was thinking of both her daughter’s and the magazine’s best interests. She initialed what she had approved and felt sorry for her daughter to have her husband’s affair so blatantly exposed. Rose hoped she would be rid of him soon. The embarrassment and the pain had gone on long enough, and too many people were going to suffer. It had been mentioned in the interview, though, that Nicolas was still very close to his wife and daughters, and planned to stay that way. So he hadn’t betrayed her entirely. All she could hope now was that Nadia would divorce him in the near future. He might not be an evil man, plotting to destroy her with heartless cruelty and premeditated motives, but at best, he was certainly a fool.
Chapter 8
Joe went with Athena in their SUV to pick up Nadia and the girls at LAX when they arrived. He was a big, burly teddy bear of a man, and loved kids. He was the perfect partner for Athena. They looked just right together. Both were tall, heavyset, warm, jovial people who always had a smile on their lips and laughter in their eyes. He knew some of what had been happening to Nadia, but not all of it. Athena didn’t want to give away all of her sister’s secrets and confidences, but he knew enough to strongly disapprove of the mess Nicolas had gotten himself into. Joe had come into the family after Nadia had met Nicolas and was dating him. She had already been living in France for three years. He had been an usher in their wedding, and had always enjoyed being with them. Although he and Athena weren’t legally married, and didn’t want to be, they acted as though they were, and after so many years, Joe had a respected position in the family as her mate. He was five years younger than Athena, and was thirty-eight, four years younger than Nicolas but wiser about life. He’d never been married and had no children. He would have liked to have children, but Athena had been clear from the beginning that it wasn’t what she wanted, and he accepted that. He had enough nephews and nieces and friends’ children to satisfy him, and they had their dogs.
Nicolas was from an aristocratic family, and an only child. He had gone to the best schools in Paris, studied political science at a prestigious university, and had a master’s degree and the means and encouragement to pursue a career as a writer from a young age. He had never had to worry about how he would support himself.
Joe’s origins had been simpler and rougher, and more real. He was one of four siblings. His father had died when he was young. He had grown up in Michigan, had put himself through college, and worked from the time he was a teenager, at rugged jobs since he was big and strong. He had been a lumberjack, a stevedore, drove a truck while he was in college, and had discovered how much he loved to cook. He had gotten a job as a fireman, and was assigned cooking the meals at the firehouse when he was on duty, so he had a chance to hone his skills. He took several cooking classes, saved his money, quit his job, and went to Europe to work in restaurants in Italy and France, and finally became a master chef. He then moved to L.A. and started his own restaurant. He had met Athena on a cooking show, and they got along famously. They each felt as though they had found their other half. Athena had gone on to have her own successful TV show, while Joe preferred running his restaurant and having direct contact with clients. He also helped her run her vegetarian and vegan restaurants, which were popular lunch places, and much smaller operations than his. He was a smart businessman, a hard worker, and a warm, down-to-earth person. He had a natural instinct to protect people he cared about, so he hated to hear what Nicolas was putting Nadia through. Nicolas sounded like a spoiled boy to him, although he hadn’t thought of him that way before. He wanted to do everything he could to make Nadia and her daughters’ visit to L.A. as much fun as possible.
He had bought tickets to take them to a Dodgers game himself, and was hoping to have time to join them at Universal Studios. He knew Athena was taking them to Disneyland. It wasn’t going to compensate for their currently stressful home life, but he hoped that it would take some of the burden off Nadia, whom he liked a lot, and give them a chance to have some fun after two very tough months. He was aware that the girls didn’t know that their parents’ marriage was at risk. Athena had warned him, but he was sure that they sensed something, which was frightening for them too. He felt sorry for Nadia, and her kids.
He and Athena were both waiting as Nadia and the girls came through customs at LAX. He found a porter for them and folded them all into a big hug. He thought Nadia looked tired and stressed after the long plane ride from Paris, but the girls were happy and excited to be there, and Nadia smiled gratefully at him and her sister.
He took them out to dinner that night, at a restaurant with great burgers for the kids, and very good fare for the adults. They had several vegetarian options for Athena, and Joe ordered a steak.
“So how are my favorite French girls?” Joe asked all three of them. Nadia had lived there for so long that the whole family considered her more French than American now, and she did too.
“We are very good, and very happy to be here,” Sylvie said, pronouncing the words carefully with her French accent.
“And your English has gotten better,” he commended her and she grinned. “What about you?” He turned to Laure as she wrestled with an enormous burger with all the trimmings. She had ketchup all over her face.
“I want to see your dogs,” she enunciated carefully with a grin. She had recently lost her two front teeth.
“They’re excited about seeing you too. Especially Juanita and Chiquita. Your aunt Athena just bought them new ballet tutus.” He gave Athena a wry look and she laughed. “Hugo and Stanley are my guys,” the Lab and the mountain dog. “We go hunting together.” The weather was so warm that they swam in the pool after dinner at Athena’s sprawling ranch-style house in the hills above L.A.
Joe had his own small house he referred to as a “shack” in West Hollywood, but he hadn’t stayed there in years. He called it his “insurance policy” in case Athena ever threw him out. But Athena said they got along better than any of the married people she knew. “Why spoil a good thing?” she always said to her mother, when Rose suggested they get married. She’d finally stopped mentioning it. At forty-three, Athena knew what she wanted, and how she wanted to live. Since children weren’t on her wish list, getting married made no sense to her.
Athena had arranged a whole program for them in L.A. Since she wasn’t back on her show yet and was still on vacation, she had time to spend with them, and thoroughly enjoyed it. She took them to museums, Universal Studios, and Joe came with them as promised. Disneyland was the main event. Nadia and Athena walked all over with Sylvie and Laure, and they saw everything they wanted. Both girls fell asleep, exhausted, after the parade, on their way back to Athena’s house. They had stocked up on Disney pajamas, T-shirts, costumes, magic wands, and Minnie Mouse ears.
“That was really fun,” Nadia said to her sister. “I loved it.”
“Me too.” Athena smiled at her. Nadia was starting to look like herself again and had relaxed in the few days since she’d arrived. After they got the girls to bed, and went to sit in Athena’s modern, professional kitchen, Nadia told her sister her plan.
“I’m going to start the divorce when I get home. I don’t want to sit around and wait anymore for what’s going to happen, and for him to figure out what he wants to do. I can see the handwriting on the wall. Pascale is not a solid bet for the future, and he’s a fool if he thinks she is. He says he
’ll end it with her in October after the baby is born, but I don’t think he’ll do it. She’ll probably stick around for a year or two, until the novelty of the baby wears off. I don’t want to waste my life waiting for him. I’m going to tell him I’m starting divorce proceedings when I get home.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want, and not what someone else thinks you should do? Like Mom or Olivia? I know they’ve both taken a hard line about it. But it’s your life, your marriage, and even if he’s a jerk, he’s your jerk, and if you love him, it’s really up to you what you want to do.”
“Thank you,” Nadia said softly and smiled at her. “You’re a great big sister. You should have been a mom. You’d be good at it.”
“No, I wouldn’t. Kids stress me out. Too much responsibility, and I’d be terrified to do the wrong thing and screw them up forever. I don’t know how you handle it, or Venetia, or Olivia.”
“You grow into it. Marriage is kind of like that too. Or I used to think so. Now I don’t know what I believe.”
“Do you think you’d ever come back to the States to live?” Nadia thought about it for a minute and shook her head.
“I have a business in Paris, I love our apartment. My kids are French and they should be close to their father, in the same city. I know it sounds weird since I grew up in New York, but I’m not comfortable there anymore. I’ve lived in Paris for so long that I feel like a foreigner when I’m here. It’s just easier in France. Sometimes I feel more French than American.”
“Maybe that’s why you didn’t file for divorce immediately. A lot of American women would have,” Athena said.
“Divorce is easier here. I don’t even feel ready for it now. But cheating is not okay, and I’m going to lose all respect for myself if I don’t do something about it.”
“Just make sure it’s what you want. Not what someone else tells you that you should want, or should do.”
“I don’t know if you’re ever sure if you walk away from someone you love. There are always things you love about them. I still love him. I probably will for a long time. But he’s not letting go of Pascale, and the baby complicates everything. He probably loves me too, just not enough to do the right thing.”
“You’re young, Naddie, and beautiful. You’ll find a good guy,” Athena said gently.
“Maybe.” Nadia didn’t look sure. “I think it’s going to be hard to trust anyone again. I thought we had it all sewed up forever, and we were a sure thing. I was wrong.”
Joe came home from the restaurant then. He was at his restaurant every night. And he checked on Athena’s restaurants in Santa Monica at lunchtime. She owned them but rarely went herself. She had managers run them for her, with Joe supervising. Joe was more hands-on at his own restaurant, and catered to an elite clientele who expected him to be there. The success of his restaurant was because he was there himself, watching every detail.
Their week with Joe and Athena flew by, and they were sorry to leave. Both girls were wearing their Minnie Mouse ears from Disneyland when they left, and Laure had a little pink rolling traveling bag with Minnie on it that Athena had bought for her. She was pulling it along behind her with all her treasures in it. Nadia’s eyes were damp when she hugged her sister and thanked her. Then they went through security, waved, and boarded the plane for New York. They were planning to stay with Rose in the city for three days, and then head to Southampton for a week to stay with Venetia and Ben and their children.
Rose was waiting for them when they arrived. Sylvie and Laure told her all about their adventures with Athena, and Rose took them to the office with her the next day. She showed Sylvie and Laure around, explained to them about layouts and photographs, and how they picked the photos to go with a story.
At the end of the tour, Sylvie announced that she wanted to work at a magazine one day, and Laure said she wanted to be a dog doctor, which made them smile. She’d had a ball with Athena’s menagerie.
Rose took the afternoon off and they went to the Statue of Liberty and the top of the Empire State Building. It was turning into a fun summer for them. Their week in the Hamptons with Venetia and Ben’s family was even better. Running on the beach, building sandcastles, wading in the ocean, swimming at their beach club. It was a real vacation. Sylvie and Laure couldn’t keep up with Venetia’s sons. They were too big and rough, but they had fun playing with India, who worshiped them.
Nadia and Venetia took long walks on the beach, talking about life, their businesses, children, and marriages. Venetia was always easy to get along with, and she was protective of her younger sister and smart about many things. She had a good head for business. But what Nadia noticed most was how happy she and Ben were together. They seemed in harmony most of the time and did a lot to help each other. Ben walked on the beach with Nadia too, and told her how sorry he was that Nicolas had behaved so badly and made such a mess of things.
“He has a lot of growing up to do,” he commented. But he doubted that Nicolas would achieve it soon enough for Nadia. He thought she needed someone to share her life with, not someone who put everything on the line, risked all, and created a public scandal. She didn’t disagree with him.
They had agreed to come to the château for the last week of summer vacation, and Olivia said she might come too. Nadia had seen more of her sisters that summer than she had in a long time, and was grateful for it. And she saw her mother in the Hamptons on the weekend, when she came to Venetia’s house for dinner.
They flew back to Paris with their souvenirs and memories. Nadia knew it was a summer she’d never forget, and her family was getting her through it. She was eager to get back to work when she got home. She had an appointment with her lawyer. She was going to try and cut her losses with Nicolas. It had taken her two and a half months to make the decision. But she was ready now. At least she hoped so.
* * *
—
Nicolas came to see the girls the first night they were back, and Nadia left him alone with them. He hadn’t seen them in nearly three weeks, and she didn’t want to interfere. They were tired from the trip and went to bed early. After they did, Nicolas came to see her in her little office. She was going through all the mail that had piled up while she was gone. All of France took vacation in summer, so she knew that nothing important would happen in her absence, and her office kept her informed whenever her clients called.
“It sounds like you had a good trip.” He smiled at her and sat down in a chair across from her desk. He had been in the South the whole time they were gone and had a dark golden tan.
“We did. I’m seeing my lawyer tomorrow,” she said calmly, and he looked surprised.
“Why now?”
“I think it’s time. You’re doing what you’re doing, and I want to get on with my life. I feel like an idiot while you have a whole other life with Pascale.”
“I want to try and put things back together with you after the baby comes,” he said, looking distressed by what she’d said.
“That’s over two months away, and who knows how you’ll feel then. This doesn’t work for me. We’re lying to the girls. It’s not healthy for anyone. It isn’t for you either. You say you want to come back ‘later,’ so you’re not fully engaged with Pascale, even though you’re having a child. You’re trying to hedge your bets with me, in case it doesn’t work out with her. That’s not who I want to be, in your life, mine, or anyone else’s.”
“You’re starting the divorce?” He looked like he was going to cry, and she wanted to, but she was trying to keep the conversation matter-of-fact and as unemotional as she could.
“I want you to move out and get your own apartment.” She didn’t “want” him to, but she thought it was best if he did. She wanted Pascale to never have happened, but they couldn’t turn the clock back, and she was real, and her baby too. “I want to be legally separated from you. The girls need to k
now the truth. You pretend to live here but you don’t. It’s confusing all of us.” He nodded. He understood what she was saying. Their life had been a disaster for three months, because of him. It would be almost another three until the baby came. “We can figure out the divorce later, but for now we need to face what’s happening. I’m not really part of your life anymore.” Tears filled her eyes and he moved toward her and reached across her desk, but she backed away. “Don’t. Let’s not make this any harder than it already is.”
“What are we going to tell the girls?” he asked, on the verge of tears himself.
“That’s up to you. What are you going to tell them about Pascale and the baby?” He still hadn’t faced it, as though the day would never come, and his daughters would never know.
“I don’t know. I wish I didn’t have to tell them so soon. They’ve never even met Pascale.” He had handled the whole thing miserably, and she wasn’t going to clean up the mess for him.
“I assume you’re going to live with her,” Nadia said in a strained voice, trying to be gracious about it.
“We haven’t figured it out yet.” They had the house in Ramatuelle until September, and she was having the baby a month later. She was going to stay with her mother in Brittany for the last month, and wanted to give birth there, to be near her mother, so she could take care of the baby. Nicolas had promised to be there for the delivery. But where they would live after that hadn’t been decided. His life was up in the air. The only stability he had was with Nadia, and now she wanted him to move out. “Let me think about it for a few days, and I’ll let you know,” he said in a raw voice, and she nodded.
The Affair Page 14