by Claire Angel
“I’m not sure,” Chloe whispered, thinking about it.
“You aren’t serious, are you?” Matt snickered, reaching into her bag for her lipstick. She lined her lips and continued, “Well, I have had enough of hearing him talk about things I am not interested in. Maybe I should just head out and find myself a good vacation from Stapleton for a while.”
“Vacation,” Chloe whispered.
“Yes. You know, traveling away from all the stress of work and relationships, and maybe I would find someone that listens instead of talk all day too.”
Matt was done applying lipstick to her lips and patting her cheeks with her palms. She smiled at Chloe and stared around them as if she was noticing the walls of the restroom for the first time. “You should go back to him and let him know you won’t do this anymore,” she said, then she was gone.
Chloe unconsciously stared at her reflection in the mirror again. With everything Matt had said during their brief and rather friendly conversation, she couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of a vacation.
She had done nothing but strive to succeed in the past five years and now that everything was great for her, perhaps she needed a break.
She stepped out of the restroom eventually with a blank expression on her face. Andrew knew something was wrong immediately she returned to their table. He stopped drinking from his glass of wine and bit his lips. “You were gone for so long,” he whispered. “Is everything okay?”
“No,” Chloe answered.
“Was it the food?” he questioned. “I was assured they served the best in the whole of….”
“It isn’t the food,” Chloe cut him short. “I just think it is high time we went home.”
“Home?” he asked, staring around him nervously. “We have only been here for an hour, and you haven’t even touched your food.”
“I just don’t feel all that well,” she lied. “Maybe it is the cold.”
She wished she could tell him she wanted to leave because he was a jackass date, but she knew how to restrain herself from hurting people’s feelings. Luckily, he nodded and began to wipe his lips with a napkin. “I have got to pay first…” he said and raised his hand to get the attention of the waiter.
As he spoke to the waiter that appeared beside him a few seconds later, Chloe distracted herself by staring around her at the faces in the restaurant. Unlike them, some couples had their hands clutched on the table while they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. Two people hurdled close in a corner and looked like they couldn’t wait to be alone in the privacy of their room. She was about to return her gaze to Andrew when she noticed a redhead leaving a solemn-looking man at a table and walking out of the restaurant. It was Matt, and she nodded empathetically as she walked by their table.
“Done,” Andrew said, getting her attention back to him.
Chloe stood from her chair and let him lead her out of the restaurant to his car. He shoved the door to the passenger seat open, expecting her to get in so he could drive her home, but Chloe quietly shook her head. “You arrived in your own car?” he asked her, and she shook her head again.
“I don’t understand,” he whispered.
She wished she didn’t have to tell him that they were seeing each other for the last time. Asking him to drive her home might give him the wrong impression. “I will get a cab, Andrew,” she told him. “It has been a long night.”
“It is just getting dark,” he whispered, and she gritted her teeth.
“I meant that it has been a long date,” she corrected, stepping towards him to kiss him briefly on the cheek, “but I don’t think I want another date. I will find my way home.”
She whirled around and crossed the street without so much as glancing over her shoulder at him. Sometimes, she considered herself weird for finding each man she had gone out on a date with in recently unattractive. It wasn’t as if she needed to go out on dates all the time, but she was optimistic she would find someone she was going to love one day.
Or maybe not.
Eventually, when she stopped a cab and told him to drive her home, she considered if having a heartbreak at sixteen hadn’t left a permanent dent on her heart.
∞∞∞
Chloe spent half of the new week at her desk, working on completing the website for her client. Interestingly, she had grown into a high-end freelance website developer since she left two years ago. She had started off by building websites for a few entrepreneurs when she was in college, and by the time she got back to Denver, she had created a niche for herself. Several people contacted her through a website she had subsequently built for her business and wouldn’t even require that she left her home. So far she built them what they wanted.
It didn’t take a year for her to earn enough to buy herself a home in the middle of the city. Prior to that, she had returned to the bungalow in the Alder compound, keeping to herself and wishing she could move her family out of the house. The Alder mansion couldn’t be their home forever, regardless of how the owners had been kind to them.
Surprisingly, when she bought her house and asked Lynda to move in with her, her mother had seemed happy with the news but didn’t want to leave the Alders alone.
“Mr. Alder sent you and Kelly to school, Chloe,” she smiled. “And Mrs. Alder isn’t too bad either. I am no longer an ordinary housekeeper to them since they treat me – all of us – like family.”
It was disappointing to be the only one to move into the house that she bought but often, Chloe was glad none of her family members had left the Alder Mansion with her.
It meant that she could have the peace of her home to herself and work all week without having to be responsible for anyone but herself.
She was finally done with the website before the weekend and chose to drive to the Alder compound on Saturday. Driving through the familiar roads that led to the front gate reminded her of the days she had spent every weekday strolling with her best friend, Tia, or walking to the lake with Kelly. She also walked Mrs. Alder’s dogs, which made her Thursday evenings quite a bit more thrilling than the rest.
Tia left Denver for college a long time ago and never returned. Now, it was just the Alder compound that was left to remind her of her childhood…and Mrs. Kings, the woman who owned the compound before the Adler’s.
Chloe stopped in front of her house first, hoping to see how the woman fared since the last time they spoke. Before leaving for college, Chloe had gotten very close to the older woman, probably because she was one of the few people alongside Tia who understood her. When she got back from college, she had felt a deep connection with the woman too, and often visited her home for a chat.
As soon as Chloe stepped into the compound, she noticed Mrs. Kings stepping out of the house with a broad smile on her face. She had to admit that she missed the old woman more than she missed the Alders or her own mother and sister. Chloe had hated living in the Alder compound after the incident with Jacob and Kelly, but Mrs. Kings had advised her to refocus her love on something else.
“Oh, Chloe!” Mrs. Kings greeted, briefly hugging her before pulling back to stare tenderly into her eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping much, child.”
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Kings,” Chloe smiled at her, noticing that she had grown grey hair in the past few years, along with a few wrinkles at the edges of her eyes.
“Is it work?” Mrs. Kings asked, still staring into her eyes. “You should rest more often.”
Chloe finally nodded, giving in. “I think I would get enough of that in the coming days,” she assured her.
“Why? Have you got yourself a man?” Mrs. Kings teased.
“Oh, isn’t that the least of what could make me sleep these days,” Chloe rolled her eyes.
The older woman smiled and began to pull her towards the bench under the peach tree between her home and the Alder’s large compound. Mrs. Kings was widowed before Chloe met her seven years ago. Sometimes, she wondered how she managed to live alone since her children h
ad grown and left the house a long time ago.
“You haven’t visited the Alders or me for a while,” Mrs. Kings muttered, getting Chloe to turn her attention back to her.
“Work,” she whispered. “I have stayed glued to my desk for weeks, and that makes the days pass by pretty quick.”
Mrs. Kings nodded in understanding and heaved a sigh as she sat. She tapped the empty space beside her, expecting Chloe to join her. Then she stared around them with a reminiscing smile on her face.
“A lot has changed since we both sat here seven years ago, hasn’t it?”
Chloe nodded, staring around them as well. The apple tree behind them – she remembered it vividly.
“Kelly, your sister,” Mrs. Kings said, reaching into her thoughts. “You remember we spoke about her under this same tree?”
Chloe closed her eyes, trying to hold back the memory. “Yes,” she muttered under her breath.
“You were so angry, and there was so much hate in your voice.”
“Yes,” Chloe muttered again.
“And yet, here you are, visiting the place you once considered a prison while the sister you hated has got nowhere else to go but there.”
Chloe opened her eyes and glanced at her, wondering what her point was. “What do you mean?”
“Well,” Mrs. Kings continued. “I remember that what saddened you was when you saw your sister kissing a boy you had a crush on. You were running away from the house as if it choked you; I had never seen anyone look so lost and dejected in a long time, especially a child. I was sitting right here in time to ask you why the tears wouldn’t stop running down your cheeks.”
When Mrs. Kings had brought up the subject of her dejected look, Chloe had detected a tone of sadness in her voice, as if she spoke of an entirely different issue. However, when the woman brought her attention back to how sad she was that evening, Chloe cleared her throat and said, “I remember everything, Mrs. Kings.”
“Do you now?” Mrs. Kings smiled at her. “You told me you hated everyone – school, the Alders, your family…everything! But I do not sense any hatred in you now.”
“What do you sense?”
“Longing,” Mrs. Kings whispered. “I had seen it before, in my own eyes when I stared into the mirror as a young woman and in the eyes of younger women who have had the luxury to sit and talk with me.”
Chloe shook her head, trying to argue that she was wrong, but Mrs. Kings wasn’t done. “Do you remember what I told you, child?” she asked.
“When?” Chloe asked.
“Here, seven years ago.”
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh. Do say the words. I like to hear you say them.”
Chloe rolled her eyes for the second time and heaved a sigh. “You wanted me to focus all the hate on getting the best education Mr. Alder’s money could get me,” she whispered. “You said I could have whatever man I wanted without having to love them in secret.”
Mrs. Kings giggled and cleared her throat. “Weren’t really my words, but yes, I wanted the best for you,” she grinned. “And look at how well you have turned out.”
“You need yourself some rest, child….and a man. I have seen Kelly, your sister, around, and she seems like she has had enough men but no success or fulfilment to her name.”
Chloe bit her lips, restraining herself from making any remark. If she was to argue that she didn’t need a man, Mrs. Kings would bring up another issue in the past and return to why she needed to find love.
She wished to fall in love with a man again, that was the truth. She missed the excitement that had once coursed through her spine whenever she was close to Jacob, but unfortunately, no man had been able to ignite such a youthful passion in her again.
“So, are you going to do it?” Mrs. Kings asked, jolting her out of her thoughts.
“Do what?”
“Take a break. Find a man and fall in love, child!”
Chloe shook her head, knowing that Mrs. Kings wouldn’t be satisfied with any response she gave. The old woman didn’t seem bothered by her silence, though. She simply stood to her feet and placed her hand on her shoulder. “How long would you stay at the Alder’s this time?” she asked.
“Just the afternoon,” Chloe whispered. “I have got a lot on my mind, and I thought….”
“Coming by to see your family might help you clear the clouds?”
Chloe smiled at her choice of words and nodded. She stood as well and hugged the woman. “I wanted to see you, too,” she added. Mrs. Kings smiled and nodded in gratitude.
“I should get to the Alders,” Chloe cleared her throat, rubbing the woman’s arm with her palm and turning away from her.
“Chloe?” Mrs. Kings called behind her.
“You said you would be getting enough rest soon,” she whispered after Chloe whirled around to glance at her. “What is it if it isn’t a man?”
“A vacation,” Chloe hid a smile. “I will tell you all about it when I get back.”
“How about over the phone?” Mrs. Kings asked, but Chloe turned away from her again, leaving her alone with a smile on her face. She knew better than to wait for the old woman to ask her more questions. At the moment, she just wanted to be with her family for a few hours and get her visit over with.
Chapter 3
Kenneth could hear her voice echoing in the darkness that enveloped him like a thick fog. She was lost, and so was he, yet he stared around him vigorously, hoping to catch her looking for him too or yelling his name at the top of his voice.
He knew he needed to yell her name so she could find him too, but his chords failed him. No sound escaped through his lips, no matter how many times he had tried. The only thing he could do was to search through the darkness with his eyes, desiring to save her….to bring her back to him.
Eventually, he opened his eyes with a start, realizing that he was having a terrible dream again. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead and dripped down his shoulders and abdomen as he raised himself to sit on his bed. It had been weeks since he dreamt about his late wife, Belinda, and although he knew he hadn’t forgiven himself over her death, he had hoped the nightmares had finally stopped.
He slipped out of bed as light shimmered into the room from the open curtains. He didn’t need a second guess to know that some of his maids had been in the room very early in the morning to draw the curtains. There was a time any slight movement in his house roused him from sleep, but with the drugs Carlton James had gotten to aid his sleep, he slept deeply three times in a week to try to forget his sorrows.
As if on cue, the door behind him slipped open as soon as he turned his back and stared at the mountains of his home through the windows. It was his caretaker, Carlton. The forty-five-year-old man took his time to bow his head in greeting before clearing his throat to speak.
“Kenneth, I was just checking to see if you are up and would like some tea before breakfast. We need to talk about…”
“The drugs aren’t working anymore,” Kenneth muttered, interrupting him.
“Pardon?” Carlton whispered, looking clueless behind him.
Kenneth turned to him with a blank expression on his face. “You said the drugs could help me stop the nightmares.”
Carlton’s eyes widen with understanding, and he cleared his throat again. “They were supposed to make you sleep better and get rid of restlessness. I was told that could make the nightmares go away, too.”
Kenneth stared at him, noticing that he had gotten suddenly nervous. It was not his caretaker’s fault that he had had the same nightmare over and over again for the past eight years. Yet, he wished he could blame anyone other than himself for his sleepless nights. “You should dispose of them immediately,” he grunted eventually, referring to the drugs.
Carlton understood him. He nodded and stepped towards the drawer beside the bed where he kept the drugs. Once he had them in his hands, he turned towards Kenneth and asked, “Do you want to talk about it…the dreams?”
“No
.”
Carton nodded again and turned on his heels. Before he could get to the door, though, Kenneth heaved a sigh and whispered his name.
“Yes, Kenneth?”
“I—I am sorry for being rude. It—it just gets me in a foul mood every time I have it.”
“I understand,” Carlton muttered, smiling empathically. “I will get someone to make tea, and also get the maids to mop the floor and spread new sheets. We can talk about the arrangements for the guests later.”
“Guests?”
“Yes, the residents in the various houses in the mountains.”
“Of course,” Kenneth sighed, wondering why he was asking in the first place. He owned one of the largest resort homes alongside the little mansion he had built for himself.
“Yes, we will talk about them later,” he nodded, smiling for the first time in the morning.
Carlton looked at him worriedly for a second before he turned and left the room. Kenneth whirled around and stared out the window, watching as a few people walked down the meadow to sit by the stream. Sometimes, the beauty of his home helped to calm his mind whenever it was ridden by the thoughts of his sorrowful past. He only had to stare at the meadow and the stream, and he could convince himself there was enough beauty in the world to make it a little bit meaningful to him.
At that moment, though, neither the meadow, streams, nor the faraway mountains helped. He thought about the nightmare that had plagued him for years, and his thoughts swept back to the years he had spent abandoning the only thing that should matter to him.
He had deserted his wife at a time that she needed him the most. Belinda was losing weight every time he returned home from his travels. She kept to herself as well and slept in one of the guest rooms, instead of cuddling up to him in their bed as she always did.
He had grown up in the same house with her, alongside his parents and sister, Alex. Although no one ever explained if Belinda was a maid in the house or if she was the daughter of an old employee, Kenneth always knew Belinda wasn’t family. When he had realized he was in love with her at an early age, he hadn’t kept the feelings to himself. He had discussed this with his mother, who had seemed quite excited with the thought of him wedding Belinda. Their relationship had been sealed since then, despite their young age, and Kenneth already foresaw their marriage many years later.