“I guess that’s a sign that it’s time for us to hit the road,” Raven said, standing. “Come on, Elias. Our clothes are dry. It’s time to get home.”
“We need to talk,” Donovan said. “Can I call you later?”
She shook her head. “I have a lot of work to finish tonight. One of Elias’s friends is having a sleepover birthday party tomorrow so he won’t be around to overhear. Maybe we can talk then.”
“Sounds good.”
Raven felt a bit sad to leave Donovan’s house. It had felt good to be around him. But since they shared a son, she knew they would spend more time together.
But could they share more than a son?
Chapter Twelve
Raven checked her appearance in the mirror and then frowned. When did she turn into one of those women who spent hours getting ready for a simple date? When Donovan had called her this morning and suggested that they meet in person, she’d invited him over for dinner. He’d liked the idea of sharing a meal, but said he’d rather take her out. In a moment of weakness she’d said yes. Then she’d spent the rest of the day mentally choosing and then discarding every outfit in her closet. She’d even considered driving to town and buying a new outfit before she tossed the idea aside. She didn’t have hours to waste. Besides she had several perfectly good dresses hanging in her closet.
This was a new development for her. She hadn’t fretted about her clothes or accessories as a teenager. But then, her mother had always helped her select clothes when they went shopping. Although, like most female ranchers, she wore jeans most of the time, Marilyn had great fashion sense.
Unfortunately, Raven hadn’t inherited her mother’s sense of style. She’d never been interested in clothes. Raven was more like her father, who wore whatever clean shirt he grabbed from his drawer. Her clothes hadn’t mattered when she was dating Carson. Oh, she’d always taken care to look her best, she just hadn’t worried about her appearance like she was now.
And why was she so worried anyway? It wasn’t as if she and Donovan were in love or anything close to it. This dinner wasn’t part of some great plan Donovan had to woo her. They were meeting to discuss their son.
Donovan and Elias had many things in common and were growing close. Their relationship was progressing much more quickly than Raven had expected it to. Though she hated the idea of sharing custody of her son, she knew it was the right thing to do. They deserved the opportunity to establish a true father and son relationship. But first she and Donovan needed to come up with a way to tell Elias that Donovan was his father.
“You look nice,” her mother said as Raven came downstairs to wait for Donovan. She’d settled on a blue print dress that she’d worn to Jericho and Camille’s wedding. She’d received lots of compliments that day and she felt confident wearing it.
“What’s the occasion?” her father asked.
“Donovan and I are going to dinner.”
Her mother frowned. “I don’t understand your attraction to that man.”
“Marilyn,” her father chided. “Raven is a grown woman, old enough to make her own decisions. Besides, I like Donovan. Always have.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I’m just saying that after the way he treated you, leaving you pregnant and alone, then staying away for ten years, you’d be smarter than to let him back into your life.”
“It’s my life. And you don’t have all the facts.” She could tell her mother about Karl Rivers, but loyalty to Carson kept her silent. She’d promised she wouldn’t tell anyone about what his father had done and she wouldn’t.
“I have all the facts I need. Poor Lena worried herself sick over that boy. Then he just waltzes back in like nothing happened. I understand why she let him back into her life. A mother never stops loving her child. But you...” Marilyn shook her head in disgust. “I raised you to be smarter than this.”
Raven picked up her shawl and purse. “I think I’ll wait for Donovan outside. I don’t know when I’ll be back, so don’t wait up for me.”
“Have a good time,” her father called.
Her mother just grunted.
It was definitely time to think about getting her own place. Raven loved her parents and appreciated all the help they’d given her with Elias, but she was ready to be on her own. She and Elias both loved living on the ranch, but maybe it was time to move to Sweet Briar. He could spend more time with his friends and she could put her accounting degree to work for other clients. She would still keep books for the ranch, of course. She would just do it remotely.
But moving would make it more difficult for Donovan to spend time with Elias. Right now they lived minutes apart and could get together on the spur of the moment. Sweet Briar was an hour away. She blew out a breath. She couldn’t think only of herself and what she wanted. Donovan had a stake in her decision so she needed to consult him, as well.
She saw his truck coming up the driveway and stood. The red paint shone. He must have spent hours washing and waxing it. When he got out of the truck and came to the stairs, she was glad she’d taken extra time with her appearance. He was wearing a charcoal-gray suit with a subtly striped shirt. He’d forgone a tie and the shirt was open at the collar. Yowza. That man certainly knew how to take a girl’s breath away.
He handed her a small, gaily wrapped box. After the briefest hesitation, he kissed her cheek. The scent of his cologne wrapped around her like a lover’s embrace.
“You look fabulous,” Donovan said.
“Thanks. I was just thinking the same about you.”
“After we talked, I realized my wardrobe was sadly lacking, so I went to town and bought this suit.”
Raven thanked her lucky stars that she hadn’t given in to the urge to go shopping in town. It would have been too embarrassing to run into Donovan and explain why she was getting something new for tonight.
“It’s great.”
He nodded. “Aren’t you going to open your gift?”
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” Her heart skipped several beats as she untied the thin ribbon and tore away the paper. She opened the box and looked inside. “A bracelet.”
“I found a bracelet I’d gotten for you in my drawer last night. It was a present for your birthday, but I never got a chance to give it to you. It looked a little worse for wear, so I bought you this one instead. Happy belated birthday.”
“Thanks.” Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly blinked them away. She held out her wrist and allowed Donovan to slip on the bracelet. It was silver and black with a hammered heart charm. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she’d ever seen and it was definitely the most elegant piece she’d ever owned. “I love it.”
“I’m glad. Ready to go?”
She nodded.
He held out his arm and she slipped her hand over his biceps, feeling the strength there.
After he helped her into his truck, he climbed in beside her, started the engine and turned on the radio. “What kind of music do you listen to now?”
“Any kind. After years of Raffi, Jim Gill and Charlotte Diamond played on repeat, I’m happy with whatever comes on the radio.”
“Who are they? I’ve never heard of any of them.”
“They sing children songs and were Elias’s favorite musicians when he was little. I swear he spent every waking hour either listening to one of them or singing one of their songs. It’s been a couple of years since we played them on a regular rotation, but I swear I can still hear those songs in my head.” She pretended to shiver.
Donovan laughed but it sounded sad. No doubt he was thinking about all that he’d missed. She wouldn’t offer some lame platitude that wouldn’t comfort him. Nor would she lie and tell him that what he’d missed hadn’t been wonderful because it had been. Raising Elias had been the single most important thing she’d done in her life. She wouldn’t i
nsult Donovan by pretending he hadn’t missed out on one of life’s greatest blessings. But she could let him know there was still more to experience.
“Even though Elias has outgrown his children’s music phase, his taste in music is eclectic. In school they studied music from around the world to help them learn respect for other cultures. He discovered the didgeridoo and fell in love with the sound and wanted to learn how to play. He was disappointed when I told him I wasn’t going to buy him one, so he decided that opera was his new favorite kind of music. After all, he didn’t need me to buy him a voice. He walked around the house singing Pavarotti as loud as he could. He can’t carry a tune in a basket. I just think he was doing it out of revenge. Still, if you like, I can get him to sing O Sole Mio or Nessun Dorma for you.”
This time Donovan’s laughter was completely happy. “I might take you up on that.”
They chatted and laughed as they drove to town. Although Raven didn’t come to Sweet Briar often, she loved visiting. The town had grown these past few years, bringing in new businesses and new people. Several women had made overtures of friendship, inviting her to lunch or girls’ night out, but she’d never accepted. She regretted that and vowed that next time she would say yes.
“I got a reservation at Heaven on Earth,” Donovan said as he parked the truck.
“Really? How’d you pull that off?”
“Jericho and the owner are good friends.”
“You won’t be disappointed. The food is fabulous.”
As soon as they stepped inside, a hostess greeted them, checked for their reservation then led them to their table. Donovan pulled out Raven’s chair and held it for her. The little courtesy made her smile. He removed his jacket and then sat across from her. A few seconds later a waitress appeared with their menus.
“I can’t tell you the last time I’ve been in a nice restaurant,” Donovan said.
“You didn’t do a lot of dating?” Raven asked, trying not to sound as curious as she was. Just because he hadn’t wanted to have a serious relationship didn’t mean he’d become a monk. Plenty of women could have come in and out of his life over the past decade.
There was so much she didn’t know about him. So much she wanted to know. Although she told herself she was only interested in Donovan because of the role he was about to play in Elias’s life, she knew that wasn’t true. She wanted to know more about the man he’d become because she was attracted to him again. At this rate it wouldn’t be too hard for her to fall in love with him again. But did she really want that?
* * *
Donovan tried to focus on his menu long enough to select an entrée, but Raven wasn’t making it easy. Her shawl had slipped from her bare shoulder, revealing soft skin that his hands ached to touch. The dress wasn’t cut low but it revealed enough of her breasts to make him sweat. But as appealing as her body was, it was her face that kept him distracted. The light in her eyes when she spoke of their son. The smile on her face when she found something amusing. He could spend the night watching the play of expressions on her face and never get bored.
“I think I’ll have the paella,” Raven said, handing her menu to the waitress.
“That sounds good. Make it two.”
“Very good. I’ll be back with your drinks right away.” The waitress smiled and walked away.
“So where were we?” Donovan asked.
“You were talking about how long it had been since you were in a nice restaurant.”
“Right.”
“You can’t tell me there were no good restaurants in all of Texas.”
“There were plenty. I just never felt compelled to visit one. After a while I made friends. Some of them were women, but none were the type I’d dress up to take out.”
“Did you miss it? Dating and having someone you loved in your life?”
He exhaled. No small talk for them. Raven was going straight to the heart of the matter. “Sure. I don’t know of a person who doesn’t want to love and be loved in return. But I had pretty much resigned myself to that not happening for me. Not under those circumstances, and I didn’t see those circumstances ever changing. I wanted a family, a wife, children, a home, but I didn’t think I would ever have one. And it turns out that I had a son all along.”
“Yes.” Raven sipped her sweet tea. “I think we should tell Elias that you’re his father. It’s time.”
Donovan’s heart leaped. He’d been hoping she’d say that. But now that she’d actually said the words he felt weak. “When?”
“Sooner rather than later. Tomorrow?”
“How do you think he’ll take it?”
Raven shrugged. “I don’t know. I never spoke badly of you, so there’s no reason he should have negative thoughts about you. And the two of you get along well, so...”
“Do you think he might want to spend time with me? Alone, I mean? Maybe even spend a night once in a while?”
Raven looked away from him and nodded. Clearly she was torn.
“I’m not going to try to take him away from you. I just want him in my life. I want to listen to him as he tries to sing opera or yodel or whatever his next phase of music is. I think there’s enough room in his life for both of us, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
She said the right words but Donovan wondered if she truly believed them. Was she worried about losing her son? Didn’t she trust Donovan to keep his word? Or was she worried that he wouldn’t be a good father? Whatever the issue, they would need to work it out. But that would only happen with time.
They changed the subject and told funny stories of their lives. Unlike their earlier conversation, they didn’t talk at all about Elias. Donovan loved his son and was looking forward to having him in his life, but that relationship, while important, wouldn’t be enough to sustain Donovan emotionally. He wanted a woman to share his life. Raven had been his one true love when they were younger. Maybe she still was. But the only way to know if any of the love they’d shared remained was to spend time getting to know each other again.
They lingered over coffee and dessert. After paying the bill and tipping the waitress, they went outside. The night was pleasant and Donovan wasn’t ready for it to end. “You up for a walk on the beach?”
“I’d love that.”
Donovan took one look at Raven’s high heels and decided to drive the short distance. Once he’d parked, they walked across the paved path to the sand. Without speaking, they each removed their shoes. He was wearing socks so he took them off, as well. They tucked their shoes under a bench and he hoped like heck they’d be there when he and Raven returned. He’d bought those shoes today and hadn’t even broken them in yet. Taking her hand, he led her to the water’s edge. The moon was high in the midnight-blue sky and cast its glow on the ocean. He sighed. “I missed this so much.”
“Not many beaches in the middle of Texas?”
“Not that I saw.” He’d been talking about missing holding her hand. Missing talking for hours and not running out of things to say. Missing being together whether on a beach or on the ranch. He’d missed her.
“Now that you’re back, I bet you’ll want to make up for lost time.”
“If only that was possible.” He stopped in his tracks and turned so they were facing each other. “I missed you, Raven. Every day. Every night.”
“I missed you, too.”
He reached out and touched her cheek. Her skin was unbearably soft. When she leaned her face into his hand, he lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. Their lips touched and tingles ran down his spine. He pulled back and she grabbed his shirt, bringing him close to her again. She didn’t have to tell him twice. He wrapped his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss.
It had been so long since he’d held her, but his body remembered everything about her. He remembered the taste of her. Her scent. Time and distance
had separated them, but some memories could never be erased.
The waves lapped against the shore, covering their feet with warm water. He heard teenagers talking, their voices growing louder as they grew closer. Though he didn’t want to stop kissing Raven, he pulled back then leaned his forehead against hers. Their breathing was labored and as their chests rose and fell, neither spoke.
He glanced over his shoulder. The teenagers were close now, so he stepped back and took Raven’s hand and they began walking along the sand again. He wanted to take her into his arms once more, but knew that they each needed time to figure out what was going on between them. Before he made any type of commitment, he wanted to be sure that what he felt was real and not the residue of their past relationship. He wasn’t sure how to distinguish between the desire and growing affection he felt for Raven now and the love he’d held on to for ten years. But he had to try.
Maybe Raven was experiencing similar confusion. After all, she’d been ready to marry another man a week ago. Now that her engagement was over, she might be lonely and longing for love. She might be trying to fill an empty place in her heart. He wouldn’t blame her if that was the case. If anyone deserved to be loved and happy, it was Raven. Maybe, like him, she was trying to figure out what was real and what was memory. The best thing for both of them was to take their time.
“Come on,” he said, turning and heading back to the entrance. “We’d better get going.”
She sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know. It’ll be morning before we know it.”
They walked arm in arm to the car, not in any particular hurry to get there. They were quiet on the ride back to the ranch, listening to an oldies’ station playing songs from when they were in high school. “The term ‘old school’ doesn’t mean what it used to.”
Raven laughed. “You can say that again.”
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