“Wow.”
“Stop it.” She’d considered packing pajamas with long pants, but knew she’d be more comfortable in short bottoms. And if they happened to show off her legs? Well, there was nothing wrong with that.
Donovan dimmed the light in their lantern and they got into their sleeping bags. It was too hot to zip them all the way so they left them open from the waist up. She turned on her side to face him and he did the same.
“I never thought I’d be here again,” Donovan whispered.
“Where? On the Double J?” The darkness of the tent made everything seem intimate and despite what she’d said earlier, she was suddenly afraid of losing control of her emotions. When they were together like this, all she could think of was how much she loved being with him.
“With you.” He reached out and caressed her cheek. It was dark, but she could feel his eyes boring into hers. She trembled. “I missed you every day of my life.”
“I missed you, too.”
He slid his hand until he was cupping her head then brushed his lips across hers. The kiss didn’t last more than a second, but she felt a shift in their relationship. It had gone from just trying to be friends to a promise that they would somehow make a relationship between them work. That was good because she was pretty sure she’d fallen in love with him again. She was aware of all his warts and imperfections and knew there would be bumps in the road, but she was ready to travel it side by side.
He lay on his back and put his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes, feeling his heart beating beneath her ear. For once in a long, long while, all was truly right with her world.
“I knew it,” Elias’s angry voice woke her and she blinked. “I knew you were trying to kiss my mom that day.”
“What?” She opened her eyes and sat up, trying to get her bearings.
“He was only pretending to be my friend because he wants you to be his girlfriend again.”
“That’s not true,” Donovan said. “You’re my son and I love you. Nothing and nobody means more to me than you. I’d do anything to be a part of your life.”
Chapter Sixteen
“No you don’t.” Elias backed away, but Donovan was too quick and grabbed him by the arms before he could run from the tent.
“Listen, son.”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not your son.”
“But you are. And you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.”
“Then why did you leave?” Elias’s voice wobbled and Donovan knew this was his best chance to reach his son.
“Because I had to.” Donovan glanced at Raven, who was sitting on her sleeping bag. She looked pained. No doubt seeing Elias so upset hurt her heart. Donovan sat, then pulled Elias down beside him and edged closer to Raven.
“Why? Did somebody make you?” Elias’s voice was filled with sarcasm.
“Yes.”
“What?” Donovan’s answer took the wind from Elias’s sails. “Is that true, Mom? Did somebody make him leave me?”
Raven nodded.
“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Elias’s anger found a new target in his mother. “Why did we stay here? We should have gone with him.”
“Whoa. Hold on. You’ve got it all wrong. I told you before, none of this is your mother’s fault. She didn’t know where I went. Or why I left.”
“Why not?”
“Because I never got the chance to tell her.”
Elias opened his mouth again, probably with the intent of asking why again, so Donovan stopped him. “Just listen, okay?”
“All right.”
“I had been with your mom. I left her to go to Sweet Briar. Before I got to town, I saw a crime being committed. The criminal saw me. He knew who I was. He said if I didn’t leave town right then and stay gone forever, he’d hurt me. And your mom. So I left and didn’t come back. She didn’t get a chance to tell me about you.”
“If you had known about me, would you have stayed?”
Donovan heard the plea in his son’s voice, the yearning to be told that he mattered to Donovan. “No.”
Elias sagged and his eyes filled with tears at what he perceived as rejection.
“I would have loved you too much to risk your life. Knowing about you would have given me one more reason to leave. And one more reason to stay away.”
Elias pondered that for a while. “You would have left because you loved me?”
“Yes. To keep you safe.”
“I wish you had been here. I always wanted a dad.”
“I wish I could have been here, too. But I’m here now. And I would like to be your dad.”
Elias rubbed his forearm across his eyes. “For how long? What if you decide you don’t want to be my dad anymore? What if you want to leave a second time?”
Donovan’s eyes misted over and he blinked to clear them. “I’ll always want to be your dad. Always. And I’ll never want to leave you.”
“What if that bad man tries to make you leave again?”
“That won’t happen.”
“How do you know?”
“Because he died. He can never hurt our family again.”
Elias nodded. “Okay.”
Donovan pulled Elias into a tight hug. “I love you, son.”
“I love you, too, Dad.”
Donovan closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. For the first time in ten years he felt as if everything in his life was right again. He glanced over at Raven. Tears shimmered in her eyes. No, everything in his life wasn’t right again. Although he and Raven were getting close again, they hadn’t verbally committed to each other. Still he believed she was the only one who could fill the hole in his heart. He opened his arms and she joined in the embrace. Now he knew what it would take to truly be happy. He needed his family. He wanted his son, true, but more than that, he wanted Raven back in his life. He wanted to marry her the way he’d planned to years ago. He believed she felt the same but he wasn’t one hundred percent sure. But if there was even the slightest bit of love in her heart, he intended to help it grow.
“I wish we could stay longer, don’t you, Daddy?”
“Yep. Maybe we can go camping again this summer. What do you think, Raven?”
“Sure.” What could she say? That being around him was making her imagination do crazy things? The day had been filled with fun games for the entire family. The three-legged relay races had been the worst. Having her leg tied to Donovan’s and inhaling his masculine scent had been her own private torture. Being so close to him had made her weak in the knees and she’d barely made it from the start line to the finish line. For once her competitive nature had taken a back seat to her desire.
The events had been designed to bring families closer together emotionally, and they’d been successful. She felt closer to Donovan than she ever had. And it was good to see Elias and Donovan bonding, too. But all of that emotional closeness had been accomplished by physical closeness. Donovan didn’t appear affected by all of the touching and hand-holding they’d had to do. He hadn’t mentioned the kiss. It was as if they hadn’t shared those quiet moments.
Raven rolled up her sleeping bag, shoved it into its fabric carrying sack and pulled the string to tighten it. She struggled to get her doubts under control. After all, there hadn’t been time for private conversations.
Was he supposed to talk about his feelings during the frozen T-shirt race or glow-in-the-dark bowling? With activities planned for just about every waking hour, conversation had been limited. And once Elias had decided Donovan was his favorite person on the planet, he’d stuck to him like glue. He’d moved his sleeping bag closer to Donovan’s, making talking impossible, not that Donovan appeared interested. He was floating on the high of having his son acknowledge him and welcome him into his life.
&nbs
p; And Elias? He was in hog heaven. More than once he’d said how great it was to have a mom and a dad just like his friends. He was definitely Team Donovan. This weekend had lived up to its promise. Elias and Donovan were even closer than Raven had hoped.
Maybe this weekend had worked too well because there was no doubt that she’d fallen in love with Donovan again.
“Don’t you think this was the best, Mom?” Apparently he’d heard the ambivalence in her voice, which was amazing given the fact that he’d been focused on his father.
“Yep. I can’t think of the last time I had this much fun.” And the truth was she couldn’t remember laughing as hard as she had while playing those wacky games.
“Hey. Dad, do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”
Raven smiled despite the turmoil his question caused inside her. Elias seemed to be unable to decide between calling Donovan Dad or Daddy and was trying them out to see which one fit best. He’d tried Father on for size but had wrinkled his nose, easily discarding that title. Raven held her breath while she waited for Donovan’s answer.
“I’d love to.”
“Great. Mom is the best cook in the world.”
“Your mom is the best at a lot of things.”
Raven felt her cheeks heat. “Okay. Enough flattery, guys. My parents have plans tonight so I’m already committed to cooking.”
“You don’t have to cook,” Donovan said. “Let me take you guys to the diner.”
“Yeah!” Elias readily agreed. “They have the best burgers. And I love their shakes. They always put a cherry on top. If you ask, they’ll let you have two.”
“I guess that settles it.” She really hadn’t felt like cooking anyway. But she hadn’t expected to have dinner with Donovan. After spending the entire weekend together, she was overdosing on his nearness.
“Okay. Let’s get going. I’ll drop you guys off and pick you up in an hour or so.”
Instead of riding horses back to the house, the campers were driven back in trucks. When they reached Camille and Jericho’s house, they thanked the couple and then got into Donovan’s truck. The ride home was a lot less tense than it had been coming here.
Elias jumped out of the truck and hustled around to the back to help Donovan unload their gear. Elias grabbed his backpack and sleeping bag then headed for the house singing one of the silly songs they’d learned. Raven reached for her equipment but Donovan grabbed it. “I have it.”
“Thanks.”
They climbed the stairs in silence. He was so close, the heat from his body knocked into her, making her shiver. She’d always found Donovan attractive and time and distance hadn’t changed that. If anything, he was sexier than he’d ever been. And the anger, tension and mistrust between them was gone, no longer keeping her from fully appreciating what was right in front of her eyes.
He dropped her bags inside the door then leaned against the wall. “I’m really looking forward to dinner tonight.”
“Me, too.”
He brushed his lips across her cheek and then left.
Raven stood there for a moment then looked up. Elias was staring at her.
“Is Dad gone?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Then why are you standing there looking all goofy?”
She shook her head. “Who are you calling goofy, young man?”
Elias laughed and took off running. “Just you, Mom. You’re the goofiest of all goofs.”
Raven laughed as she chased him up the stairs and headed to her bathroom to take a quick shower and get dressed for dinner. Twenty minutes later she was standing in her room, debating over what to wear. The diner was casual eating, but she’d spent the weekend in shorts and T-shirts. Although that or jeans were her usual uniform—she lived on a ranch for goodness’ sake—she didn’t want to wear them tonight. But she didn’t want to look ridiculous in something too dressy. That would look like she was trying too hard. In the end she settled on a floral sundress and sandals. She braided her hair into one long French braid down her back and fastened a rubber band on the end to keep it from coming loose. She added simple stud earrings and the bracelet Donovan had given her for her birthday and then went downstairs to wait.
“Wow,” Elias said. “You look really pretty, Mom. Are you trying to make Daddy want to be your boyfriend?”
Raven nearly choked. Did it look like she was trying to get Donovan’s attention? If a nine-year-old thought so, then she might be sending that message. Maybe she should change. She certainly didn’t want Donovan to think she was laying some sort of trap. She’d told herself to go for it, but that was before her doubts began to sprout and take root. She was spinning around to head back upstairs when the doorbell rang. Elias had the door open before she was out of the room.
“It’s Dad,” Elias said unnecessarily as they stepped into the room.
“Wow,” Donovan said. Appreciation and desire shone in his eyes. “You’re beautiful.”
“You don’t look too shabby yourself.” He was wearing khakis and a gray polo that matched his eyes. So he’d dressed up a little, too. She relaxed and decided to stop overthinking things.
“Hey, Dad,” Elias said, oblivious to the sexual undercurrents between his parents. “Do you think I could borrow some of your comics? I’m sorry I was so mean to you before. I won’t act that way again.”
“Of course. If it’s not too late, we can stop by after dinner and you can get them.”
“Do you think we could get them now? That way we don’t have to worry about it being too late.”
“Sure. That should be okay.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
As they walked down the stairs to the truck, Donovan pulled Raven aside. “Did I just make a mistake? Should I have told him no or given him some sort of lecture?”
“I don’t think so. Elias is usually a good kid. That was a pretty extraordinary situation, so I think it was okay to let him borrow the books again.”
Donovan smiled. “That’s a relief. I don’t want to mess up this dad thing.”
“You’ll make mistakes. Everybody does, myself included. All you can do is your best. As long as you’re acting out of love and considering what’s best for him, you’ll be fine.”
Apparently having dinner at the diner was a popular idea for many of the families who’d attended the camping weekend at the Double J Ranch. Elias waved to several of his friends. When he saw Kenny, he raced to join him and his brother at their table. Elias had brought one of the comic books inside with him and showed it to them. They scooted over in their booth and Elias sat. Three heads immediately bent over the book.
“Hi,” Raven said to Kenny’s parents. “We didn’t mean to intrude.”
“On our family time?” Kenny’s mother laughed. “Don’t worry about it. We did plenty of bonding over the weekend. If you want, Elias can eat with us. Unless you were planning a family dinner.”
Raven glanced at Donovan, who shrugged. “Nah. We’re good.”
“Then let him stay. I’ll put the book in my purse when the food comes.”
“I’d appreciate it,” Donovan said. He put his hand on Raven’s waist and led her to their table. The warmth from his touch sent tingles shimmying down her spine.
When they were seated, she looked up into his eyes. The look he gave her was intense. He covered her hand with his. “Would it be wrong of me to say that I’m glad our son is eating dinner with his friends?”
Raven laughed. “Don’t tell me fatherhood is losing its luster already?”
“Never. There’s just something to be said about having dinner alone with a beautiful woman.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “You don’t have to use your considerable charm on me. I’m not going to try to keep you from him.”
“The thought never crossed my mind.”
“So what’s with the
compliments?”
“They’re sincerely made. You’ve always been gorgeous. You know that. And if your former fiancé didn’t tell you that, then he must have been blind.”
Raven didn’t know what to say in response to that, but, she knew she didn’t want to talk about Carson. “Okay. Thanks for the compliment.”
“So now that you’re a free woman, I need to know, is your heart open to love again?”
She trembled. Talk about going from zero to one hundred in under a second. “Why?”
“Because I missed you like crazy. I feel like our relationship was interrupted. I can’t sit here and say that we would still be together now if not for Karl Rivers, but we might. I feel like there’s still something between us. I don’t know how much of it is the memory of what we had, and how much of it is new and if any of it is real.”
“You just put it out there, don’t you?”
“I’ve lost so much time. I don’t want to waste more playing games. Do you?”
She shook her head. “No. I wasted enough time. I don’t want to waste more.”
He smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before pulling his hand away. “So does this mean you’re my girl again?”
“Are you asking me to go steady?”
“I guess I am.”
“Then I’m saying yes.”
They talked and laughed over dinner, but as he pulled in front of her house, she couldn’t remember what they’d talked about. All she could recall was how he’d made her feel. And that had been cherished. Valued. Loved. It might be too soon to think about becoming a family, but she couldn’t help herself. She’d yearned for Donovan for ten long years. And now they might actually get the happily-ever-after she’d dreamed of.
Elias got out of the truck and stumbled up the stairs. It had taken all of his energy to stay awake on the ride home and Raven could tell he would be asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
“Bye, Daddy. See you tomorrow.”
“See you, son.”
Raven’s parents were home now and they were sitting on the front porch. When Raven and Donovan reached them, her father nudged her mother and then stood. Marilyn frowned at him and stood slowly.
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