by Land, E. C.
Sighing, I rinse off my body one last time before shutting the water off and getting out of the shower. I don’t have anything to wear since I wasn’t planning on being around anymore, so I decide to keep the towel wrapped around me as I sit on the edge of the bed and wait to hear what Jerod has to say.
It feels weird to think of him as anything but Twist or Twister. I’ve always called him Twist when it was just the two of us, now that he wants me to call him Jerod it feels way more intimate. Intimacy and I have never fit together before but a piece of me likes the idea of being the only one calling him by his real name.
When he comes into the room, he doesn’t even bother with having a towel covering any part of his body. While I have never had a problem with showing my body off, right now, I can't help but want to cover every inch I can. I don’t like feeling vulnerable and that’s exactly what I am right now. I feel as if every wall I have ever built up around me has been torn down by a sledgehammer, leaving me exposed to those that could hurt me more than anyone else.
“I should have thought to grab you some clothes, babe. I’ll shoot Kenny a text to see if she and Lynsdey can go get you something to wear cause you sure as hell ain’t putting those clothes back on. I never want to see them again. I don’t need the reminder of what almost happened,” Jerod mutters as he climbs into the bed, moving to lean against the headboard before motioning for me. “Come here, babe.”
Keeping the towel wrapped tight around me, I move toward him. When I’m close enough, he grabs me around the waist to pull me over his lap to straddle his legs. I don’t say anything as he runs his hands up and down my legs before settling on my hips, holding me firmly. I’m guessing what he’s about to say I won’t like very much.
“I’m just gonna get right to it. You don’t have a job anymore. I called your boss and told him you wouldn’t be back. He didn’t take it very well but he will get over it, you’re done there. I want you to concentrate on getting your head right and you can’t do that when you're burying yourself in the work that that douchebag piles on you. I’ve also made you an appointment for next week with a counselor that is one of the best. She said that she can come to us or we can go to her. But either way, I’m gonna be right there with you every step of the way. You aren’t in this alone, you never have been and it's time to ingrain that shit in your head. We’re together, baby, and I ain’t gonna lose you to the demons that fill that pretty head.” Jerod squeezes my hips as he finishes.
I don’t know what to say right now. I want to scream at him. He had no right to call my boss or better yet, make me an appointment before talking to me. Hell, I fuckin’ know that I need help. I’m a big enough woman to admit I need help, but he didn’t have the right to do either without talking to me first. I open my mouth to finally say something, just to have him stop me.
“I know you’re fuckin’ pissed right now, and I honestly don’t give a fuck. You should also know that I had the prospect move your shit to storage and the rest of your clothes to my room at the clubhouse for the time being until we can find a home for the two of us. That house, granted was cool as shit, just won’t work for me. We need something closer to the clubhouse or we can build something, doesn’t matter to me. But you can sit here being pissed the fuck off or you can get the fuck over it, accept the help and move on. Either way, all I’m about to do is fuck that tight pussy of yours,” he growls out snatching the towel from my body, taking one of my nipples into his mouth.
“You can’t do that,” I moan at the sensation of his mouth on my nipple as he pinches the other between his fingers. The pleasure and pain make me forget what I want to say to him.
When he pulls his mouth away, he switches to my other nipple, doing the same. I can't help but rub against him, needing more. I love the way he uses his tongue on my body. Just as quickly as he starts playing with my nipples, Jerod flips me to my back before moving down to my body, centering himself between my legs and latching onto my clit. I scream out as he nips it between his teeth. He doesn’t let up as he begins to use his tongue to fuck me. When he thrust a finger in, my orgasm is about to hit.
“Don’t you come. Only good girls get to come,” Jerod growls against my pussy as he looks up at me.
“I don’t know if I can hold it back,” I moan out feeling as if I could go over at any second.
“You come and I won’t give you my dick, and I know you want me to fuck you. Your body is shaking with need for me to pound my big dick into it.” He goes back to thrusting more slowly into me with his fingers as he sucks my clit into his mouth.
The uncontrollable need to come has me screaming in frustration as he completely moves away from me getting off the bed.
“Get on your knees and suck my dick, baby. I want to fuck that mouth of yours.”
I scramble off the bed, eager to have him in my mouth.
Taking his dick into my mouth, I moan at the taste of him. I suck him deep and hard the way I know he likes it. His hands gather my hair into his grip so that he can control my movements. I breathe through my nose as he starts to fuck my mouth. When I go to massage his balls, he slaps my hand away.
“Fuck, your mouth is almost as good as that tight pussy of yours, and they’re both mine. Mine, you hear me, Izzy? You are fuckin’ mine,” Jerod growls, his dick throbs as he’s about to come.
The first taste of his release hits the back of my throat, and I greedily take all that he gives me. When Jerod pulls back, he’s just as hard if not harder.
“Get on the bed, baby. I want that pussy now and if you’re good, I’ll let you come.”
“Please fuck me and let me come, Jerod. I need to come. Sucking your dick has me more than ready. I can’t take it anymore. Please let me come,” I whimper as he runs a finger along the slit to my pussy.
“Admit that you’re my woman and that you’re gonna be good with what I’ve done for you and I’ll let you come,” he says inching his dick in my pussy.
“I . . . I . . . I want to be your woman, but you hurt me, and you can’t make those decisions without talking to me,” I say moaning as he pulls his dick to the entrance only to thrust back in.
“What I did was take care of my woman. You can find another job when you are in a better state of mind. You’ve got to understand when I make a decision like this, you may not like it but I take care of what’s mine. Now, admit you’re mine and I will let you come.”
“You ass. I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself,” I scream out trying to thrust myself down on his dick only to have him stop my attempts.
“I may be an ass, baby, but I’m your ass. Now, admit it, otherwise, I will leave you in need until I get the answer I want,” he growls out increasing his thrust but not hitting where I need him to.
I close my eyes, shaking my head, not wanting to admit to myself that I really am his and that what he did was look out for me. He may have hurt me, but Jerod isn’t like my parents. He didn’t mean what he said out of a spurt of anger.
“Look at me, Izzy.” Jerod voice sounds strained. He slides one of his hands up my body, taking my throat in his hand, caressing the sides of it. “Your pulse is racing, baby, just like mine. My heart beats for only you. I love you and will take care of you no matter what. I hold your life in my hand just as you hold my heart in yours.”
I nod my head as words escape me at what he just said ingrains into my head taking away all the hurtful words he said the other day. Tears gather in my eyes as I open my mouth. “I love you, Jerod. I’m yours.”
“Bout fuckin’ time you admit it, now you can come, baby,” Jerod growls out as he hits the spot to send me over the edge. I’m sure the entire clubhouse can hear my screams as I come. Twister follows me seconds later, groaning out my name.
I lay surrounded by his warmth as he keeps his body over mine as we both try to catch our breath. I want to protest when pulls out of me, rolling to his side, only to gather me into his arms.
I can’t keep the yawn from coming out. I slept f
or two days straight and yet I'm still tired.
“Sleep, baby, I’ve got you and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll keep your nightmares away for you,” Jerod whispers, placing a kiss to the top of my head.
“I’m still mad at you for not talking to me first,” I mutter feeling him chuckle as I let sleep take me over.
I could really get used to this side of him.
16
Izzy
Over the last two months, I don’t know what has driven me nuts more— Twister or my counselor Sarah. The woman is more interested in gaining the attention of Twister than actually helping me. There’s no denying that the woman wants him and every time a session ends, she asks to speak to him for a few minutes in private.
I’m not sure what she tells him, but when he comes back out, he doesn’t even look at me or he has a disappointed look in his eyes. After my last session the other day I asked him why she was always asking to speak to him privately, and he had the nerve to say it’s nothing for me to worry about. Twister would even change the subject whenever I told him I thought that Sarah was flirting with him. I’m starting to wonder if there isn’t something going on between them with the way he’s been acting toward me. I want a different counselor, but no one will listen to my concerns, not even my friends. They all agree that Sarah is the best person for me. I don’t agree with them.
Since leaving Stoney’s clubhouse, things have been really tense between the two of us. Well more than the two of us, more like everyone is walking on eggshells around me. Waiting for me to snap. They all think I’m crazy which I knew would happen if they ever found out about me. That’s why I always kept shit to myself but thanks to Twister, everyone fuckin’ knows.
Hell, Kenny can’t even be in the same room with me for longer than a few minutes. The shit between us is almost as bad as the tension between Twister and me. I learned quickly to stay in the room I share with Twister most of the time. That way, I can avoid everyone. If something doesn’t change soon, I’m going to fuckin’ lose it though.
The worst part of everything is that Twister refuses to do anything other than sleep in the same bed with me. Talk about torture! He doesn’t even say anything if I walk around his room naked. One night, I tried to tempt him into bed by lying seductively on the bed playing with myself. When Twister finally walked into the room, he glanced my way and walked into the bathroom shaking his head. After that, I stopped trying to gain his attention. Evidently, he changed his mind about us. On top of that, he doesn’t talk to me unless it’s one or two-word syllables.
I’m constantly bored without being able to do anything unless someone is with me. I don’t even have a job any more thanks to Twister. Only thing I have to occupy my time is my Kindle. And honest to god, I’m sick of reading happily ever after stories when I’m not even happy.
My phone ringing brings me out of my stupor. Looking at the screen, I smile at Coyote’s name. It feels good to have him back in my life. It's almost like having a small part of my brother back.
“To what do I owe this call, Coyote?” I ask jokingly. Coyote has called me every few days to check on me and see how I’m doing. I always give him the same answer but I don’t tell him everything though.
“You know how it goes, Izzy. I’m calling to see what all you were up to,” Coyote says before laughing.
“Well, I figured I might read some before going to bed, there’s nothing really goin’ on around here that I know of,” I tell him trying to keep my emotions in check.
“Well, I had an idea of something you could do since you’re not working right now. Do you remember when you were a kid, you would always get up with Chase and join us for our morning runs? You could start that again and maybe even look into following another career path. You didn’t use to want to be in real estate. Honestly sounds fucking boring to me. Why don’t you look into flipping houses or some shit like that?” Coyote finishes with what sounds almost like he is shrugging through the phone.
“You know, it does sound like a good idea. Thanks, Coyote. I’ll put some thought into flipping houses. There is something I have been thinking about doing but I don’t really know if I could do it,” I whisper the last part to him.
“Yeah, what’s that?”
“Well, I’ve thought about maybe starting a charity for children that have lost a loved one. I want to do something for them. Where at birthdays and Christmas they would receive a gift, you know like an angel gift. And they would get a letter stating that they were loved, missed, and watched over. That kind of thing,” I say shyly.
“Fuck yeah, Izz, that sounds fuckin’ awesome. You should do it. I will back you up on it. Chase would fuckin’ love the idea and I know the club would support you in it,” Coyote says proudly.
“Please don’t say anything to anyone. It’s just a silly idea.”
“The fuck it ain’t. That’s a brilliant idea and you should do it. I tell you, it would be worth it. Those kids that have lost a parent would feel like they have a piece of them back. Hell, you know what you should call it, Letters From Above. It would be the perfect name for it. So fuckin’ look into what you have to do to make it happen,” he finishes, matter of factly.
“Okay, I’ll start looking into it but I’m not guaranteeing that I’ll be able to do this.”
“You can do it, I know you can, and you will. It’s the perfect thing for you. Now, I gotta head out but I’m gonna come see you in a few days, and I expect to see a plan put together for this.”
“Sure, Coyote. I can’t wait to see you,” I say before hanging up, excited that someone actually wants to be around me unlike anyone here.
Placing my phone back on the table, I stretch out on the bed, closing my eyes and deciding I’ll take Coyote’s advice on starting up my morning runs again. I haven’t done them in years, but I use to love doing them with Chase. I fall asleep with a new sense of purpose washing over me.
* * *
I woke up to find an empty bed. If not for the impression on Twister’s pillow, I would have thought he hadn’t been in here. Shaking any negative thoughts out of my head, I quickly go to the bathroom to do my thing before changing into a sports bra and shorts. I tie my shoes up before grabbing my mp3 player and quickly put it on one of my favorite songs— ‘Hey Brother’ by Avicii.
I make my way out of the clubhouse quietly before looking at the sky. Its hardly dawn and the sun is rising slowly. The last time I saw the sun rising, I was about to end my life and now, I’m trying to find a purpose.
“Let’s do this,” I whisper to myself as I take off at a jog.
Listening to the beat of the music, I try to drown out all the thoughts that are continuously on repeat. I think about Twister and what he said at Stoney’s clubhouse, then what Coyote said. They all think that Sarah is helping but she’s not. What is helping me is my determination not to let them down again. I want to prove to them and myself that I can finally move on. Chase is with me always. And I can do this. Somedays its harder than others but I know I will eventually get there.
By the time I return to the clubhouse, I’ve jogged six miles. The moment I walked into the main room, I’m faced with several pissed off men. What did I do this time? I think to myself sarcastically.
“Where the fuck did you go?” Twister demands as soon as I take my headphones out of my ears.
“If you must know, I went for a run,” I say with more sass than I intend.
“You went for a run. Since when do you fuckin’ run? You haven’t done shit since coming back here and now you just up and decide to leave the motherfuckin’ clubhouse without telling me. Have you lost your ever-lovin' mind, woman?” Twister roars.
“Since when do I need to ask for permission to do something? And for your information, I used to run all the time and thought it would be good to get back into it.” I shrug as I go to pass him wanting a water from the fridge, deciding not to let him know it was Coyote who suggested it to me.
“I’ve known you for years and yo
u never told me you ran,” Kenny says from where she is sitting with a furious Horse. The fact that Kenny has the nerve to say something to me right now really pisses me off.
“Kenny, you haven’t talked to me in two months and you want to speak up now. You know, I thought we were best friends but in all reality, we’re complete strangers. You don’t know shit about me. And honestly, I didn’t want you to know about my past. I fucking knew you would act like this. I was right too, it’s not just you but all of you are acting just the way I thought you would. So, if you don’t mind, I would like to get a bottle of water and go take a shower,” I say as I start to go around Twister only to have him grab my wrist and yanking me to him.
“That was fuckin’ uncalled for, Izzy. You want to run, fuckin’ do it but you need to tell me or someone else before you do.” I flinch at his statement. I try to yank myself free only to have him tighten his hold.
“Like you fuckin’ care, Twister. You don’t give a shit about me. Hell, I don’t even know why I’m still here. It's not like you want me. I might as well not be here. It’s not like I need anyone. I’ve done shit for myself for—”
“And look what you tried to fucking do to yourself. If Coyote hadn’t been as fuckin’ close as he was to stop you, you would’ve blown your goddamn brains out. I don’t even think you’re capable of taking care of a mouse right now, let alone yourself,” Twister roars his face twisting in fury.
“Izzy, he’s right. You’re not making the best decisions for yourself. I know I shouldn’t have pushed you that night into telling me what I wanted to know. You are my best friend and I fucked up. I’m sorr—”
“Don’t you apologize for shit. You need to stay the fuck out of this,” Twister interrupts his sister before throwing me over his shoulder and heading toward his room.
“Put me down, asshole,” I scream hitting his ass as hard as I can.
The sting of his hand against my ass causes me to still, only to start struggling more when he gets to his room. Twister slams the door behind him before throwing me on to the bed. I scramble to get off only to have him stop me with his voice.