by JA Low
“You boys look so handsome,” Mom coos as our parents take photos. I watch as Britney drapes herself all over Finn in her revealing prom dress. Everyone can see you have big tits, Britney, but letting them hang out with next to nothing covering them is just desperate. I sit and roll my eyes at her.
“Issy, jump into the photo.”
“What? No,” I tell my mother.
“Come on, just one,” she eggs me on. “Girls do you mind moving out of the picture,” she asks. Lucy, Oscar’s date smiles, moving away graciously, but Britney gives Finn a kiss on his cheek leaving bright red lipstick on his face, marking her territory. Finn’s Mom quickly pulls out a hanky wiping away Britney’s tramp stamp. “Could you at least fake being happy,” Mom tells me in German, a smile resting on her face.
“Like this?” I say back in German, giving her my biggest grin. She just glares at me pushing us together. Finn and Oscar both wrap their arms around me, looking very dapper in their tuxedo suits. I can smell Finn’s cologne; it sends shivers over my body. As we break I feel Finn’s hand linger just a moment longer than he should have as he lets his hand fall down across my ass and back to his side. These little touches, glances, between us have been going on since the kiss. A kiss that hasn’t been repeated since. We are destined to be like some angsty teen drama with longing looks and clandestine touches; it’s like the longest foreplay in history. But whatever, Finn has Britney. The quarterback dating the head cheerleader just like many schools across America.
“Hey.” Claire pulls up to the curb. “Get in.” I jump into her Jeep and she speeds off down the street.
“Fuck prom,” I tell her.
“Don’t even get me started about who Christian is taking. Can you believe he is taking Tamara Jones? Like seriously, she was a senior last year.” Claire groans as we head toward the mall, hoping that shopping will help our heartache. That night two years ago, Claire got her wish also, French kissing Christian behind the bushes at the party, she even got to go to second base with him. Damn her. “Let’s check out hot guys at the mall, we too can pick up.” The mall unfortunately was not the place to stroke our fragile egos, everyone is talking about the prom and the after party and then of course the after, after party. I overheard some girls saying that Britney had booked a hotel room for her and Finn, she was going to try and take his virginity tonight. My stomach sinks hearing this news, always in the back of my mind I thought it would be with me, hoped it would be, but I’m guessing he is going to give it away to Britney instead.
Finally, I make my way back to my empty, dark home after McDonalds with Claire. Mom and Dad have gone away for their anniversary weekend and I doubt Oscar is going to be back, it’s just me and the darkness. It’s still early as I watch the clock wondering what Finn and Britney are doing. Are they having fun? I bet they are slow dancing, Finn’s strong arms wrapped around Britney. At some point I fall asleep and am woken to the beep of my phone. I look down and see a message from Finn asking me if I’m awake. I rub my eyes again and look at the clock; it’s almost three in the morning. I message him back that I’m awake and if he’s okay. Moments later another one follows.
“Can you meet me downstairs?” I shake my head. Why the hell is Finn Connolly downstairs? I’m dressed in my sleep t-shirt but I don’t care, something must have happened if he is here instead of with Britney. I rush down the wooden stairs and open the door and see Finn pacing back and forth in his tuxedo.
“Hey, is everything okay?” He turns and I can see on his face he is upset. But before I have a chance to say anything further, Finn is on me, his lips are on mine, his hands are touching my body. He has me pressed up against the wall, his strong thighs pressed between my legs.
“You should have been my partner.” His forehead meets mine. My lips are swollen from the kiss; I can taste the liquor on his breath.
“What happened?” I place my hands on either side of his face and look into his sea green eyes.
“I want it to be you.” The words are a whisper. “I want it to be special, Issy.” My heart is thundering.
“I don’t understand.” I’m feeling very confused.
“I want you, Is, you.” His body is strung tight.
“I’m all yours,” I tell him, because it’s the truth. He lets out a breath that he has been holding in. He kisses me again, this time it’s slow. He’s pressing his entire body against me so I can feel every hard plain of him. His thick thighs lifting me up off of the ground as I shamelessly grind myself against it.
“Can we go upstairs?” he asks. I nod in agreement and he gently releases me, my bare feet touching the wooden floor again. He grabs my hand and rushes up the stairs and closes and locks my door. “Your parents are gone, aren’t they?”
“Yes and I don’t think Oscar is coming home either.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely not coming home.” He chuckles to himself, placing his jacket onto my desk chair. I’m a little confused by what’s happening tonight. I watch as Finn paces my bedroom, touching every surface, picking up photos of me with my friends and staring at them.
“What happened tonight? I thought you would be in a hotel room with Britney.” He stiffens at my mention of her.
“I’m so embarrassed.” I take a seat on my bed and pat the space beside me. Finn follows and sits down, he looks a little defeated as he kicks off his shoes and then toes off his socks. He slowly unbuttons his cuff links. “I knew going with Britney was a mistake, but…”
“You are the quarterback and she is the head cheerleader.” He nods in agreement; I understand the rules of high school.
“Well, we went back to Trey’s place for the after party, we were all drinking, having fun. Britney was trying to put the moves on me.” My gut twists listening to him. “But I don’t know, it didn’t feel right. I don’t even like Britney.” He chuckles to himself. “She’s hot so…” Yeah, yeah, I get it, she looks good on your arm. “I went to get another drink, but instead I decided to get some fresh air. I wasn't really in the mood to get drunk. So I sat out in the backyard in the dark, no one could see me, I kind of blended in. Which was how I found out that Britney has been fucking Trey behind my back.” I gasp, because Trey is Finn’s team mate. “Yeah, I had to listen to them laughing about me, about how sad I was to still be a virgin. That the quarterback was so pathetic, he’s supposed to be some kind of stud and here I am still holding onto something that any girl would be willing to take from me.” He rubs his hands together. “Apparently, there was a pool going on between the cheerleaders and football team about if I was going to lose it to Britney tonight.” Far out that is cruel. “As I sat their listening to them, I realized exactly who I wanted to lose my virginity with and it wasn’t some dumbass cheerleader, it was with one of my closest friends. The girl that I’ve had the biggest crush on, but because of her brother I can’t do a thing about it.” He looks up at me. “I want you, Isla, only you.” He leans over and kisses me. “But I understand if you aren’t ready, I’ll wait for you.” My heart swells but there is no way on this earth that my sixteen-year-old self is going to miss an opportunity to have sex with her crush.
“Yes, I want to. I want it with you.” I lay back against the bed, letting my legs fall open for him. I watch as Finn’s eyes cloud over with lust and he unbuttons his tuxedo shirt and throws it onto the floor, every ripple of his muscles shine in the moonlight. Next his pants, until he is left in nothing but his black briefs that leave nothing to the imagination at all, judging by the lump that is sticking out of it. My heart is thundering through my chest, my skin feels clammy, I’m so nervous. I sit up and take off my t-shirt which leaves me naked except for my panties. Finn’s eyes widen as he takes in my naked breasts.
“You are so beautiful.” His calloused hands run along my bare skin, setting it on fire. He reaches down and pulls a foil packet from his pants and places it on the edge of the bed as he moves between my legs. “I have always wondered what you looked like underneath your clothes.” His eyes roam
over my body, appreciating me. “You are so much more beautiful than I have ever fantasized about.” I can feel my cheeks turning red at his admission. He leans over and takes a nipple into his mouth, making me arch my back. Holy shit that is amazing. “Am I the first person to touch you like this?” His hands exploring my body, every dip, every curve, lighting goosebumps in their wake.
“Yes,” I tell him, which makes him smile.
“You can touch me if you want?” He moves between my legs, his hardening cock pressing against my bare thigh. My hand reaches out and touches the tight outline of his briefs, he lets out a hiss upon my contact. Closing his eyes, enjoying my exploration.
“I don’t know if I will last.” He bites his lip as my hands continue touching him.
“Will it hurt?” I ask him as he hovers over me.
“I think it might a little, from what I hear. But it gets better the more you try.” He grins, his dimples popping out at me.
“I can’t believe Finn lost his virginity to Britney, what a douche.” Claire sits down beside me in the lunch room. Britney is sucking up to Finn, but I can see the fake smile on his face every time he looks at her, the subtle flinch when she touches him. It’s annoying that Finn is letting everyone believe he slept with Britney, but he said it was for the good of the team. They are so close to being high school champions and if he has a fight with Trey it’s going to mess that up. Finn wants to prove that he is just as good at football as his brother Hudson was, he wants to be a champion like him. Also, Oscar would kill him if he knew what happened between us and that would destroy Dirty Texas, and he needs that. I don’t want him to slip back to his old ways. It sucks that no one knows it was me that he slept with but it’s probably for the best.
183
Isla
“Issy, Issy, Issy,” Oscar shouts through the house.
“What?” I look up from my desk as he comes rushing around the corner. This is the last week of high school for the boys, they are about to embark on summer break then off to the University of Houston to study music, and Finn to play football, he won a scholarship there.
“Holy shit, Issy.” I see Oscar’s face and he looks so excited.
“What?” I yell at him, wishing he would hurry up and tell me whatever is going on.
“We’ve been asked to play at summer break in Miami.” My heart stops, my body stills.
“Miami?” I say the word slowly and Oscar nods his head furiously.
“They saw our band on Myspace and want us to play.” Oscar’s face lights up; this is his dream to make music full time. I know I’m being selfish because of my feelings toward Finn. We’ve been stealing moments together for the past couple months since Prom, any chance we can. I hate lying to my brother but it’s for the best. I don’t think Oscar is ready for us to tell him we are something. I mean I don’t even know if we are something other than two friends who are hooking up in secret.
“That is amazing, O.” I try and fake my enthusiasm. Oscar just stares at me, those blue eyes boring into me, like he can read exactly what is going on in my mind.
“You’re upset?” My heart begins to thump. Shit, have I given myself away? Then before I know it he pulls me up and into a bear hug. “I’m going to miss you so much too,” he says, hugging me. “I wish you could come but you're just not old enough yet, maybe when you graduate you can come. “Hey, we might even play at your summer break, how awesome would that be?” I internally groan, no that would not be awesome.
“How long will you be gone for?” I finally give in and wrap my arms around my brother, enjoying his hug.
“I think a month, but if things go well probably the rest of the summer, this is like an intro to the summer festival circuit. If we do well here, we might get asked to be a part of the festival scene.” I can hear the excitement in his voice and I feel like a bitch for not being excited for him, but the whole summer not seeing Finn, it’s going to hurt.
“Wow, that is amazing.” I put a little more pep in my words. Oscar kisses my forehead and spins me around.
“I think this might be the start of things, Is. Dirty Texas might be about to hit the big time.” The smile he gives me is infectious.
“Don’t forget your sister when you make it big.”
“As soon as you’re old enough, Is, you’re coming with me. I can’t do this with you.” I’m shocked.
“Really?”
“Yeah, you help us with everything now. Organizing the gigs we have, making sure we are on time and have all our equipment, you’re also keeping the crazies away.” This is true, but we’re family, it’s just what you do. “You’re good at it, all the boys say so. But I can’t take you this time.”
“I know, I totally understand. Just have fun, enjoy it but not too much because you want to make a good impression.”
“See, that. That right there is why I need you, keep me on the straight and narrow.”
“Guess you’re just going to have to grow up, I mean you are almost eighteen.” I remind him. He gives me a noogie and we end up in fits of giggles.
“Guess you’ve heard the news then?” Finn asks as we sit in his car looking out over Galveston Bay in a secluded park.
“I’m excited for you all.” Looking at him, I let him know that I am. His hand comes out and holds mine. I take in a deep breath because I know what I’m about to say is going to hurt but it’s for the best. “I think that maybe we should see other people.” Just like a Band Aid, I rip it off. His hand jerks in mine and tenses around me.
“Excuse me?” His deep voice echoes through the truck. I suck in a deep breath.
“You have just graduated high school and you are going to play at summer break in Miami. There is going to be so many girls throwing themselves at you there and…and I think you should experience it,” I say that last bit quickly.
“You want me to experience other women?” I can hear the disbelief in his voice. Just thinking about Finn with other women makes my stomach sink.
“I don’t want it but I’m not holding you back,” I tell him honestly.
“But I don’t want anyone else, Issy.” I can see it on his face, he means it but it doesn’t seem right. I’m about to start my senior year of high school, he is going away to college and he’s going to be busy with football and music stuff. I don’t see how any of this is going to work.
“I don’t want anyone else either, but look at us, Finn. We’ve been hiding out in the darkness for ages now and there is no way in the world Oscar is going to let us date, and you know why.” Finn nods his head in understanding. Telling him about what happened to me in London with one of Oscar’s friends helped him understand better why he is so protective over me. He squeezes my hand.
“You don’t deserve me to love you in the darkness, Isla.” Did he just say love you? Butterflies burst through my veins. “Evan is dating Hailey so he isn't going to be picking up at summer break, so I wouldn’t be alone.” I shake my head.
“Finn, you are going to college this year, I’m a senior in high school. How are we ever going to work?” I can see that I’m breaking his heart but mine is too.
“You don’t want me anymore?” I move quickly and straddle him in his seat, my hand gently strokes his face.
“I want you so much, but I’m trying to make sure that we don’t hurt each other to the point where we aren’t in each other’s lives anymore. If it is only as friends then that is fine. If our time was only to be first loves in our long life then I’ll take it.” I don’t know if I’m explaining it right, and I just hope he understands what I’m trying to say.
“I never want you out of my life.” His hands move up along my body.
“Me either.”
“Then why do you want to break up?” he asks, vulnerability is written across his handsome face.
“Because you should be free to explore this opportunity fully. This might be your one and only shot or it might be the start of something and I don't want you to miss out on a thing.” He b
rings my face to his and kisses me slowly. Our foreheads pressed together, his large hand wraps around the base of my skull.
“You’re a special girl, Isla Eriksen.” I give him a weak smile. “No one will ever compare to you, you know that, right?” I nod, because even though my heart is breaking I do believe that. Even if he sleeps with a million girls over the summer, I will always be his first. “I love you,” he whispers against my lips.
“I love you too.”
It’s the day before the boys leave for summer break, the day I’ve been dreading, but Oscar is so excited. I’m out in the back garden reading a book, the sun is setting, it’s a warm night.
“Hey,” Finn calls from his side of the fence. Just hearing his voice makes my body come alive. I watch as he jumps the fence in a single bound and strides confidently over to me. I look up at him from my lounge chair, peering over the page of my book.
“Hey you.” I’m rewarded with a smile. “Oscar’s gone out,” I tell him.
“I know I saw his car leave.” I nod, this is how we have been playing our relationship since Prom. He sits down on the sun lounger beside me, placing my book on the grass. “I leave tomorrow for summer break.” This isn’t a surprise, not with how excited Oscar has been. “I wanted to talk to you about this whole seeing other people thing.”
“What about it, it’s an easy concept to understand.” I might need to dial down the bitch a little.
“Issy.” I hear the strain in his voice.
“What do you want me to say, Finn? That we should be together, that we should date? You’ve just turned eighteen, and I’m sixteen. We would date for what a couple of months, maybe a year or two at best. One of us would cheat because you’re at college and you’re this hot new rock star and I’m just a senior. It would never work. I love you, Finn, I do.” Tears begin to rush down my cheeks. Finn leans in and kisses my cheeks.