by Grace Gervas
Hesighed."Idon'tknow,maybeyou'retooirresistibletobe leftalone."hesaidwithahintofsincerity. Shewashappy,hearingthosetrivialwordsmadehervery happy;butnothappyenoughtoforgetthathewasacoveted man;hewasn'tforher,andshewasjustanintruder.Thelittle gleamofpleasureslowlyfaded,andshefoundnothingof interestinhercontinuingdiggingaboutwhateverRyanhadfor her.Itwasthebattlebetweenherfeelingsagainstprinciples thatshe'dkeptintactherentireexistence.
"Imetyourgirlfriendlastweek."Shetoldhim,andshared theexperienceperherowninterpretationoftheencounter. "Sheknowsaboutus,Icanfeelitthatsheknows."Claire painfullysaid,andhedidn'tsayaword.
ThecarfinallypulledoveratClaire'shouse,andit'swhen sherealizedhowcrazyherfeelingsweregrowingforthatcrazy manbesideher.Shedidn'twanttopartawayfromhim;theidea ofgoingin,tothatenormoushousewhereherstepmotherwas alwaysonthewaittosprawlherclawswhenevertheysaweach other,madeClairesick.Foronce,sincemeetinghim,shewished forRyantobeghertostay,oratleastforceherasheusuallydid, buthedidnotdoassuch.Thetwostayedinsilence,insidethe car,despitethefactthattheywerealreadythere.
"Ifitweren'tforDoris,"Ryanutteredoutoftheblueamidst herthoughts."wouldthingsbedifferentbetweenus?"heeyed herwithoutdetachinghisheadawayfromtheseat.
Wouldthey?Shetoo,wondered."Idon'tknow,butI'm certainlysurethatyouyou'renotthetypeofmanIdreamedof." Sheanswered.
"What?"Heexclaimed."Andwhoisyourtype?Panther?"he asked. "What'swithyouandNathan?Areyoujealousofhim?" Clairesnappedandhefrowned."He'sniceyes,butIhavenever thoughtofhiminsuchamanner."Shesaid."Butthenagain, whynot?Hemaynotbethathandsome,buthestilllooksgood enough.He'scharming;hedoesmakemesmilemostofthe time,andhe'ssingle...maybe?"sherubbedin.
Madly,Ryanmuttered."Iswearifyoucontinuetalkingthat wayabouthimI'mgoingtotransferhimtosomeoversea branch!" Clairegasped."What?Areyoucrazy?Whywouldyousend aninnocenthardworkingmanjustbecauseyoudon'tlikehowI talkabouthim?"Sheblurtedout.
"BecauseIcan."Herepliedblankly."AndIthoughtbynow you'vealreadyconfirmedthatI'mcrazy,andcapableofdoing justthat!"
"Noyoucan'tdothat!"Sheargued.
"OhyesIcan.Tryme!"Hereplied.
Shestartedlaughing."Ohno,you'rejustbluffingRyan Stevens!"shecontrived.
"Don'ttrymeClaire!I'mnotasgoodasyouwantto believe."heinsisted. "Iknowyou'refarfromgood,butevenso,Istillthinkyou can'tdoit!"Sheinsistedevenmore."Becauseifyoudo,I'llnever forgiveyou!"sheadded.
Ryanstaredather,agape."God,Whatastubbornwoman!I swearthethingsIwanttodowiththatmouthof--"hesnarled, inattempttoreachher,buthismovementwasrestrainedbythe seatbelt.Claireburstedoutlaughingatthesightofthatsimple gesture.Heleanedbackhisseat,defeated."Havingfunatmy expense,huh?"
"Somuchfun!"sheanswered,laughingly,andheendedup laughingtoo."It'shardtofathomwhenyou'reseriousandwhen you'renotRyan,butI'mtryingtoadjust."Clairesaid. Heheldherhand."Don'ttrytoomuchClaire,youmayget confused."Hesaid,anditsoundedmorelikeawarning;either way,itwasfarfromascareasfarasClairewasconcerned. She'dchosentakinghimashewas,withoutmuchimpositionof whathetrulywas.
"I'mnotscaredofyou,evenifyou'rescarytomost."She toldhim,blatantly."Ijustdon'tunderstandwhatyouwantfrom me."sheadded,andreignofsilencefollowed.
"It'stimetogohome!"Hesnappedafterawhile. "I'malreadyhome!"Shereplied.
"Myhome."
"Yourcoldapartment?"
"Wecanalwaysuseaheater!"Hetemptedher.
Againshewastorn.Butonethingwasstrongerthanany other;shewantedtobewithhim,andnothingelsecouldstop heratthemoment.Lookingathim,butterfliesflewinher stomach;hisgazealonewasenoughtorekindletheflamesof passionthathavebeenfaintlydisappearinginaweektime.Itall cameback.
"Fine,let'sgo!"Sheagreed,andatlastthedesirewon. CHAPTER16
OnceRyan'scarwasparkedintotheundergroundlotofhis apartmentbuilding,thetwoadvancedtotheprivateelevator whichstartedascendingafterhehadpressedthesecretdigits. Clairewasbusyconsultinghertreacherousfeelingsthathadled hertothatsameplaceshehadtriedhardtoavoid.Shelooked atthemanbesideher,andallshecouldseewasthemost irresistiblemanshe'devercomeacross;hewasgettingto becomeherweakness,andevenatthatmoment,whilelooking athim,shecouldfeelherhormonesrocketinginside.Sheshut hereyes,andbreatheddeeplyjusttotakecontrolofherbody thatkeptbehavinglikeateen.
"Areyouokay?"Ryanutteredwhenthesilencebecame unbearable. Claireswallowednervously."Um--yeah."sheanswered,but hewasn'tsoconvinced;hemarchedcloserandplacedhishuge palmonherforeheadasiftestinghertemperature.
"You'rehot,andyourcheeksarered.Areyousick?"Ryan asked.Histonewasacoupleofseriousnessandworries. Shebrushedhishandaside."I'mokay."shesaidwithout lettinggoofRyan'shandtoherside.Heonlyfrowned,andshe fixedeyesonhim,whilebreathingjerkily.
"Hey,areyou--"Hestarted. "DamnitIcan'ttakeit!"Clairemutteredinawhisperand evenbeforehercompanioncouldrespond,sheventuredforhis lipsandmadehimgrowlwithsurprise.Shemadehimyieldby thegreywallofthecabin,andpressedherselfmouldyagainst hischestwhileassaultinghim.
"Okay,this...wasunexpected!"SaidRyanbetweenhis breath. "Justshutupandkissme!"Clairesnappedandtheyshared awistfulsmilewhileattackingeachother'slipsandhegrabbed herbythewaisttotightlymakeherhis.
"YousurelysurprisemeClaire!"Heuttered,withhishands holdingherbacktotheotherendofthecabin,soastobethe oneincontrolofher.Shegiggledwhenhebangedhertothe wall,andheldherneckhighveraciouslywithoutactually inflictingpain.
"I'mgladIdo,cozIhateordinaries!"Shesnapped,andhe laughed;againthegamewenton,withtwokissing,touchingand talkingatthesametime,untiltheelevatorswungopenbythe foyer,andRyan'sspaciouslivingroomunfoldedwithfluorescent lightfromtheelevatorcabin."Oops!Ithinkwearein."Claire spokeoverhisshoulder.Herdresswasbythenaboutherwaist, half-exposingherupperbody;shestillhadabrassiereon.
"Toobadhuh?Ihadnoideaelevatorscanserveother purposesinlife."Herepliedwithoutunpinninghimselffromher; theysharedalaugh.Hetooktimetoadmireherbeautifulhazel eyes,andbrushedthestrandsofherhair."Okaylet'sgo."He finallyreleasedher.
"Thanksforsparingthedress;it'snotevenmine."Shesaid whilepullingthedressup,andRyangrabbedhistravelbagfrom thecabinfloor.
"I'mnotinahurrytoday."Herepliedwithamischievous smileastheysteppedout.
"ButIam."Shesaidplayfully. "Ohyouare?"Hepromptedandhermockinggigglesmade himhimliftheruplikeasack,withoutabothertoflickthelights on,anddraggedhertothesamesectionalcouchwherethe gamecontinued.
ITWASalittlelaterwhentheyplacedthemselvesbythekitchen. Itwasalmosteleveno'clockandtheybothrealizedhowstarving theywere.Goingoutfordinnerwasn'tthebestoptionatthe time,hencedecidedtocheckanythingedibleinthekitchen.
"Howcanyoukeepsomanygrocerieswhenyouhavebeen awayforaweek?"Clairewassurprisedfromhowstockedhis kitchenwas."Oh,doesshedropbyandkeepthegoodwork?" sheaddedwithsarcasmwhentheideathatDorismight'vebeen responsibleforthatcrossedhermind.
"Who?"Ryanpromptedwhilerummagingthecabinets. "Whoelse?Yourgirlfriend?"Shereplied,seatedbythe countertop.
"Shecan'tdothat!"Herepliedfrankly.
Clairesmirked."Shecan't?Why?" "Becauseshedoesn'thaveaccesstomyhouse."He answered,withhishandsfullofJam,butterandbread. "Breakfastfordinner,doyoumind?"heasked.
"Shedoesn'thaveaccess?Butwhy?"Ignoringhisfinal remark,Clairestucktothefirst. Ryanfrowned."DamnitClaire!"Hesnapped."Canyou pleasestoptalkingaboutDoris?Shedoesn'thaveaccesstomy housebecauseIdon'twantanyonetohaveit,andtheonly personwhohasit,istheonewhocleans,buysthefucking groceriesandcookssometimes;anelderwoman,whocomes thriceaweekforthat!Now,isthatenoughforanexplanation?" hebarked,andshewaslostatwords.
"Okay,Igetit!Youdon'tneedtoshout."Sheremarkedina lowvoice,withapout. Ryansighedheavily,whilerunningahandthroughhishair. "I'msorryokay,Ididn'tmeantoyell,"hesaidwhileencircling hisarmsaroundher."you'rejustsofuckingannoying.Youknow, IthinkIbettertellyouthisbecauseIcan'tdragitanymore. Dorisand--"
"I'mgoingtousetherestroom,excuseme."Shecuthim shortanddroppedoffthefloor.
"Okay."Hereturned,skeptically. Onceinthebathroom,Clairestartedslappingherself."What's wrongwithyouClaire?"Shespoketoherselfviaahugemirror bythewall."Youknewwhereyou'regettingyourselfinto,so thenwhydoesitbotheryounowhuh?"Shetookadeepsigh, whilewashingherhands.Shemadeapromisetodoaway anythingDoris-related,andfocusonthemoment;evenifdeep insidesheknewitwasagainsttherule,thatshewasjustthe otherwoman."Okaynow,let'sgetbackthere,andpretend everythingisfine!"Sheadded,followedwitha
longdeepsigh.
Andbacktothekitchen,aplateofwellcutsandwicheswas onthetable.Ryanhadjustfinishedpouringsomecoldguava juiceintwoglasses.Heregardedherwithhisbestsmileonce shesatdown.
"Asandwich?"Heasked.
"Mm...theselookdelicious!"Shesneeredwhilegrabbing one."Thanks,I'llenjoyit!"
Hesmiled."Whatafoodmonger!"heutteredinalowvoice. "Iheardthat!"Shepouted."Aren'tyouthesame?Lookatus, eatinginthemiddleofthenight."shesaid,causingscattered chuckles."Guavajuice?It'smyfavourite!"Sheutteredafter takingasip.
"Oh,whatacoincidence?Ilovethisonetoo."Ryansaid whileaddingsomemayonnaiseintohisslices.
"Doyoulikethatthing?"Claireaskedwithdisgust. Heraisedaneyebrow."What?Ilovemysandwichwith mayonnaise!"Hesnapped,andshemadeaface,asifitwas loathing.
"Ihatethesightofit!"Shegrowled.
Heonlylaughed."Whydoyouhatethesightofit?Doesit remindyouofsomething?" "Notreally,it'sjust--"shestoppedwhensherealizedthe meaningbehindhisstupidquestion."You'resocrazyyouknow, howdirty!"Shenudgedhimandbothstartedlaughingatthe idea.
"I'mjusttryingtounderstandourdifferenceshere. Anyways,Ibelievetheremustbesomethingswehavein common."Ryansaid.
"Okay,let'strythis...friedchickenorsteak?"Claireasked, andhechosethelatter."Ohno,Ilovechicken!"sheuttered disappointedlyandhelaughed."Winterorsummer?"sheasked again.
"Ofcoursesummer,whywouldIwanttoomuchcold?" Ryanrepliedandshesulked. "Howcomeswe'resodifferent?Ilovewinter,becauseit's goodforcuddling."shesaid."Okaylet'ssee,thebestvacation spot;beachoracountryside?"
Afteralittlethinking,hereplied."AbeachIguess." Clairegrumbled."Ugh!Beachesaremundane;Iloveagood countrysidewithlargetrees,greeny,andmaybeariver." "Well,whatcanIsay?"hereturned,whilechewinghis sandwichslowly. "Blackorwhite?"Shelookedathim. "Black!"Heansweredandshegrowledagain. "Truthordare?" Ryanlaughedaloud."Dare."Heanswered.
"Idareyoutocarrymetothebedroom,andsleepwithyour handsoffofmetonight!"Sheshot.
Henarrowedhiseyes."Pieceofcake!"Hesaidconfidently. "Butcanyou?" "We'llseeaboutthat,we'llsee!"Shesnorted."Aboutour differences,OhIgiveup!We'relikenorthandsouth."She utteredwhentheyfinallyresumedseriousness.
"That'sthepoint,unlikechargesattract."Hesaidand sharedasmile."Ohbytheway,I'llbehavingdinnerathome thisweekend,andIwanttobethefirstonetoinviteyouover." Hesaid.
"Athome,youmeanatyourgrandpa's?"Claireasked,and henodded."Sure,butwhy?What'stheoccasion?" "Nothinggrand,it'ssomekindoffamilytradition,thatweall havedinnertogetherattheendofthemonth.Ourmother starteditsomeyearsago,andgrandfatherwon'tletofdie!" Ryanmadeitsoundlikeanobligation,butClairelikeit.
"Okay,invitationaccepted!"Shesealed.
"Wow!You'resocooperativetoday,what'sgoingon?"He teasedher,seeinghowagreeableshehadbeenforachange. "Maybebecauseyou'verestedbeingajerkforonce,and don'tpushitRyan,Imaystarttorebel."Sherepliedandthere startedabickering.
Bythetimethetworetiredonbed,afterawarmshower,it wasalreadypastmidnight.JustasClairedaredRyantodo,he keptoneendofthebargainbycarryingherupstairs;butthe otherpartofitseemedtobealittlebitofahardwork.
"Actually,youlookedsexyinthatreddress."Hesaidwhen bothlieddown.
"SoI'veheard,fromtwoguysexcludingyou."Sheboasted. Ryanquicklyroseuptoclearlyseeher."Ohyeah?Andyou mustbeveryhappyhuh?"
Shesmiled."OfcourseIam,whowouldn'tbe?" "Okay,I'llletitslide...butdon'tyoueverdresslikethat whenI'mnotwithyou!"Ryansaidinacommandingvoiceand Clairelaughed.
Therewasacrazypartofherthatlovedhiscontrollingfreak nature;itstirredherupinsomestrangeway,andmuchmore shewouldgettoobjecthimwheneverheplayedbossy.
"Sayswho?IcanwearwhateverIwant,andwhenever."She snapped.
"Okay,praythatIdon'tcatchyou...becauseifIdo--" "What?Whatwillyoudo?Huh?"Sheleanedclosertohis face."Punishmewithyourkisses?Orlockmeupinthiscold apartment?" Hejustletoutasmirk."You'rereallylookingfortrouble, aren'tyou?"
"AmI?"Shequipped. "Don'tprovokemeClaire,I'mnotsureifIcanresistthe temptationsolet'strytosleepquietly.Ihaveameetinginthe morningandI'mdamntired."
"Oh,howdisappointing!Howaboutagoodnightkiss?"She urged,beforepressingherlipssoftlyonhis,makinghimwatch herslowmovementtohislapashisarmsslippedaroundher waist.Thekisswasveryslow,accurate,andintense.
"Damnyouwoman!Howdoyou--"hetriedtomakea strongmovebutshequicklygrabbedhissmarthand. "Ithoughtwehaveanagreementsir,justakissremember? goodnight!"Shewhisperedandpulledherselffromhisarms. "Really?Areyouplayinghardtogetnow?"Helamented. "There'salwaysnexttimeRyan!Youhaveameeting tomorrowandIneedtovisittheconstructionsite"Shesaid withagiggle.
"Good,we'llgotogetherthen.Ineedtoseehowtheworkis proceeding."
"Okay,let'sdoit...sothateveryonecanknowI'msleeping withmyboss!" "Noonewillknow,butitdoesn'tsoundbadeither." "Jerk!" "Ahandsomejerk?"
"Aneviljerk...tellmeaboutyourtrip,wheredidyougo andwhatdidyoudo?"
"Well..."Ryanstartedtellingherofit,untiltheybothfell asleepineachother'sarms.
CHAPTER17 NEXTdayaroundnine,Clairewokeupandsadlythehouse ownerwasnowheretobeseen.Withayawn,shedroppedoff bed,andthat'swhenshefoundanoteonthebedsidetable whichread;
Heybeautiful, hadtoleaveearlybecauseofameeting ,andIdidn'twantto wakeyouup.mnotsurewhenI'llcomeback,butyou'renota prisoner.Youcanleaveanytimeyouwantusingthedoor;andif youpreferourelevatorthepasscodeis...
Later,R. Therewasabrightsmileonherfacewhenshereadthe note.Overwhelmedwithjoy,shejustgavehimacallwhichwent throughafterfewrings.
"Hithere?AmIinterrupting?"Shesaidsoftly.
"No,I'mgladyoucalled."RepliedRyan,feelinglyamusedby thecall."Areyoustillathome?"headded. "Youmeanyourhome?"Shecorrected.
"Ourhome!"Heamended.
Claireswallowed."StopitRyan,it'snotfunny!"shebarked, whileheadingtothebathroomforatoothbrush. Sheheardhislaugh."I'mnotbeingfunnythough.Itwas justanapartmentfewdaysago,andnowitfeelslikehome."He said,andshekeptquiet."Okay,forgetwhatIsaid;soareyou goingtothesite?"
"Yes,butafterIgohomeandchange."Sheanswered. "OhIforgotyouwerewearingadisturbingdresslastnight. Wellyoucandriveyourselfhome,there'sacarkeywhereyou foundthenote."
"Idon'thavealicense."
"SeriouslyClaire,whatareyou?Acavewoman?" "Thanksalotforinsultingme!"
"Ohpleasedon'tgivemethat!Getyourselfalicense,will you?"
"YesSir!"
"Don'tcallmeSir!"Hebarkedanditwasenoughtomake herlaugh.
Shestartedbrushingherteeth."Don'tworry,I'lljustgraba taxioutside."saidshe.
"Idon'tlikethat!"repliedRyan.
"Wellbarewithit!Thanksforgivingmethepassword,I'm honoured."
"Ohyoushouldbe!"Hegaveahaughtyremark. "Youjustcan'tbemodest,canyou?WellI'mhangingup, haveaniceday." "Likewise,andcallmewhenyougethome!" "I'llthinkaboutit,Sir!"
"DON'TcallmeSir!"HesnappedandClairehungup, smilingly. Itwasnearlytwelvewhenshefinallygotoutoftheprivate elevatorintothegarage;sheonlyuseditoutofcuriosity whetherthepasswordgivenwasauthenticornot.Shewas elatedtofindthatitwas,andthatRyangaveittoherwillingly. Whilewalkingbythefaintlydarklot,shespottedsomeone walkinginwhileswingingthecarkeysontheindexfinger.She knewrightawaywhothepersonwasandcouldn'tescapebeing spottedeither.
"Claire?"sheheardoutaloud.
"Bruno?"sheuttered,beforeswallowinghard. Afterrecoveringfromshock,bothClaireandBrunowereinside aredsportcaruponhisoffertogiveheraridehome.Itwasa littleawkwardgiventhestatehehadfoundherin.Itwasevident thatshe'dspentthenightathisbrother'splace.
"So,areyouandRyankindof...togetherrightnow?" Brunoaskedafterhesitatingforawhile.
"Um--it'scomplicated!"Claireanswered,alittlenervously. Shecouldn'tevenmeethiseyesashewatchedherwith indescribablelook. "Why?Doeshegiveyouhardtimeorsomething?"Headded. "OhI'msorry,Idon'tmeantopry.I'mjusttoosurprised,that's all."Hedeviseduponseeingherdiscomfort.
ItseemedlikeClairewasn'tupforadiscussionconcerning thematter,butshefeltlikesheowedBrunosomeexplanation sincehe'dbeenagoodandcaringfriendfromtheverystart. Shejustdidn'tknowhowsayit;shewassoafraidtoruinthe imagehehadofher.
"It'sokayBruno,youdon'tneedtobenice."Shesaidwitha sigh."Iknowwhatyou'rethinkingrightnow,sincethisisnotjust aboutmeandRyan."
Brunofrownedabit."Whatdoyoumean?"Hequeried,and shestartedfidgeting. "Frankly,Idon'tevenknowhowRyanandIreachedtothis point.Itjust...
itjusthappenedlikesomestupidgameand thenIforgoteverythingelseandgotmyselfintricatewithhim." shesaidandhelistened."I'msoashamedthatyouhadtofind outlikethisBruno,Ican'tevensaythatIwantedtotellyou becauseI'llbelying.Ididn'twantanyonetofindoutaboutthis."
"Iunderstand."saidBrunowithasmile;hisusualsmile. "Heyrelaxbeautiful,Idon'tunderstandwhywouldyoufeel ashamedofitthough.It'snotlikeweeasilyhavecontrolofour feelingswhencomestomatteroftheheart,So--"
"Evenso,Istillknowit'swrongandIshouldn'tbeinvolved withhim."ClaireinsistedandBrunofrowned,withoutbreaking hisboyishsmile.
Hefacedheragain."Whyareyouinsistingit'swrong?"he asked."Bothyouandmybrotheraregrownupadults,you're bothofsoundmind,andyou'rebothsingle,Sowhat'sthe problemifyoudecidetohavesomethingintimate?Ithinkit's totallyokay,you'rejustoverreacting."Herapped.
Claire'sfacetookadifferentturnwhensomethingbetween hisspeechcaughtherattention. "Wait,whatdidyoujustsay?"Sheaskedhim.
"IsaidIthinkit'sallokay!"Hebeamed.
"No,notthat!"Shepracticallysnapped."Aboutusboth beingsingle.Whatdoyoumeanbythat?" "Nothingmuch...just,you'reasinglewomanIsuppose, andasfarasRyanisconcerned,hehasbeensingleforyears.In fact,Ireallyhopethisisserious;I'msuregrandfatherwillbe happytohearthathe'sdatingsomeone."Brunosaidwithgreat enthusiasm,whileClairehadnothingbutapuzzledlook."What? Whydoyoulookblank?"askedheuponhersilenceandutterly flabbergastedface.
"RyanandDoris,"sheutteredhaltingly."aretheynotina relationship?"sheblurtedout,hereyesfixingBrunosointently. Hejustraisedaneyebrow."Whatareyoutalkingabout? DorisandRyan?Whatnonsenseisthat?"heletoutaridiculous laugh.
Clairewasgawping;shejustfoundherselfstaringathim endlessly."Theyarenot?"Sherepeatedyetagain. "Ofcoursetheyarenotinarelationship.Wellotherthanof abossandsubordinate,orfriendshipsincechildhood,whichwe allshare,there'snothingmore.Jeez,wheredidyouevenget that?"Hesaidasifitwasthecraziestthingtoimagine.
"Um--nowhere,Ionlythoughtso."Clairerepliedskeptically, hervoicelowerthanusual. "Okay,isthatwhyyoukepttalkingnonsenseearlier? Becauseyouthoughtthetwoweredatingandyou--"hestopped middle-waywhenhesawherfacialreaction."Hey,areyou okay?"
Shesniffed."YeahI'mokay!"Shelied."Um--justtakearight turnoverthere."Sheinstructedhimawaytoherneighborhood andheobliged.