CLAIRE: (is it really love)
Page 12
"Butyouknow,everyoneisawarethatDorisfeelsmorethat justfriendshipforRyan,it'sjustheclearlyshuthimselfup,and sheneverstoodachancewithhimsincewaybefore."Bruno saidandshefoundherselfneedy,formoreinformationabout aboutRyanandshe."SometimesIfeelsorryforher,andifshe learnsaboutthis,I'msureshe'llbeveryheartbroken."Headded withoutgettingapromptreturn;Clairewastoobusyinto contemplation.
"Thatisifshehasn'tlearnedyet."Shethoughtoutaloud. "Youthinksheknows?"Brunoasked.
"Idon'tknowBruno,andI'mnotevensureifit'simportant anymore."shereplied. "Why?"Hepried.
"Nothing,I'mjustsaying."Claireanswered.
CHAPTER18
Onceathome,ClairewalkedinafteralongthankyoutoBruno, fortheride.Asthoughheralreadymessedupheadwasn't enough,shebumpedintoherstepmotherwhoscowledher fromheadtotoelikeapieceoftrash.
"Well,well,well...sonowyoucomehomeanytimeyou wantanddresseduplikeacheapstriper,huh?"Shestarted. Clairesighedheavily."Idon'tthinkit'sinyourbusiness, whenIcomeorleavethishouse.Sincewhendoyoucare, mother?"Clairereturned,asgiven.
Theladysmirked."Lookatyourselfyounglady.Lookatthat dress,andthewayyoupresentyourself.Youlooklikeawhore inred."ShewhinedandClairerolledhereyesfromlackof interestinhermother'sspeech."Aren'tyouashamedofyourself? Whatifpeopleseeyouwalklikethatinthestreets?Doyouwant totarnishourfamilyreputation?"ShesnappedandClaireonly laughed.
"Family?Whatfamily?Don'tmakemelaugh."Shefolded herarmsacrossherchest."Sorryifyoudon'tlikemydress,and aboutyourreputation,youdon'tneedtoworrybecauseIdoubt ifanyonerecognizesmeasyourdaughter.Plus,nooneknows I'mthedaughterofthesameWilliamLevy,thebigshotarchitect. SoyoucanhaveyourreputationalltoyourselfMrs.Levy,Good morning!"shetoldhermotherandrunforthestairs,leavingher botoxfacefullerwithanger.
"Tramp!That'swhatyouare!"Thewomansnappedbut Clairewasalreadygoneoutofsight. TheonlythingClairedidonceinsideherroomwasto changeintoajeansandabutton-upshirt,beforeslippinginto sneakers,readytogoandfacesomeonewhowasabouttoget theunexpected.Hermindwasjagged;shejustwantedtorush overSK,andmeetRyanassoonaspossible.Whenready,she runoutsidewhiletyingherhairintoamessybunandreached forataxontheway;foronceshewishedshehadrenewedher licensesothatshecouldpersonallyslidethecarfasttoclearher mindup.ThetriptoSKseemedlikeeternity,butatlastshewas there.Atthefrontdesksheonlyaskedthesamereceptionist ladywhoseemedtorememberheraswell,judgingfromherbig smilewhenshegreetedher.
"CanIseeMr.RyanStevens?Isupposeheishere."Claire askedinahurry. "Doyouhaveanappointment?"Askedthereceptionist,and Claireshookherheaddisagreeably."Well,Idon'tthinkIcan helpyou--"
"Canyouinformhimthatit'sClaireLevywhoneedstosee him?"Shetoldherdesperately."Youknow,nevermind.I'lljust callhimmyself!"Clairemutteredwithhervoiceonvergeof burstingwithanger.
Eitherduetotherecollectionofherboss'srelationshipwith Claire,thathescandalouslypulledheroutthelobbylasttime,or theangrymoodClairewasin;butthereceptionlady immediatelychangedhermind.
"Wait,I'lljustcallhisoffice."Shepolitelysaid,andgrabbed atelephonereceiver.Clairewasrestlessthroughouttheminutes thatthecallwasmadeandtransferedtoRyan'soffice.Untilshe finallysaid,"Youcangoahead,Mr.Stevensisexpectingyou." followedbyinstructionsonwherehisofficelocated.
Asquicklyasshehadbudgedin,theelevatorteleportedher tohispenthouseofficefloor,andfromthere,hiskindlooking secretaryledhertoRyan'soffice,inwhichClairefoundhimin themiddleofaphonecall,casuallyleaningattheedgeofhis desk.
Hebeamedlightlywhenhesawherwalkinginand motionedhertomovecloser,whichshestrictlyignored.Instead shejuststoodtherecrossly,withhereyesscanningsubtlyhis hugespaciousofficesurroundedwithglasswalls;Ithadseveral picturesofarchitecturalbuildingsonthewallsanditwas modernlyfurnishedtoemphasizesomeonewithgreattaste.
"Whatanicesurprise!Ididn'texpecttoseeyousosoon." Ryansaidassoonashefinishedhiscallandstartedpacing towardsClaire.
"NeitherdidI."SaidClaire,coldly,whileunfoldingherarms. Hefrownedatthetoneofhervoiceandthelookonher face."Whyareyouherethough?"Hequestionedwithsmile, aftergettingclosertoher.
Pantingmildly,Clairerespondedtohisquery."Ionlycame togiveyouthis..."andsheslappedhimhardonthefacethatit cockedhisheadtotheside,butheimmediatelyrecovered,and hadunreadablelook.
"Okay,whatwasthatfor?"Ryanasked;itwashisturnto soundcold,butwithoutbeingangry.
"Howcouldyou?"Sheuttered,asthoughingravepain. "Howcouldyoudothistome?"Nowshebarked.
Heonlyfrowned."Whatareyoutalkingabout?" "Wasitfun?"Sheasked."Didyouenjoyseeingmelosingmy headoveryoudespitethatIthoughtyouhadagirlfriendalready? Tellmeyoubastard!"Shesnapped,tearsbrimminghereyes.It's whenRyangotahintofwhat'sgoingon."Whydidyoulietome Ryan?Whydidyouhideitfrommethatthere'snothingintimate betweenyouandyourfakegirlfriend?Whydidyouplaywithme damnit?"
ForthefirsttimeRyanseemedfretting."Howdidyoufind out?" Shelaughedincredulously."HowdidIfindout?Isthateven important?"Shecried."DoyouevenknowhowIfeltallthistime knowingIwasdoingsomethingterribleandyetcouldn'tstop myself?DoyouevenrealizehowstupidIfeelrightnowthinking ofallthetimeyouhadachancetotellthetruthandyetyou didn't?Doyou?"
"I'msorryClaire,okay?"Ryansaid."Iwantedtotellyouthe truthbut--" "Butyoudidn't!"Shesnappeddryly,afterwipinghertears. "Youdidn'tbecausedeepinsideyoulovedplayingwithmy feelings!Becauseyouenjoyedeverybitofit.Youenjoyedseeing howstupidlyImadefoolofmyselfwhile--"
"Clairepleasestopit!That'snotwhathappened."He snapped;hesighed,thenrunahandintohishairandanother restedabouthiswaist."Idon'tknowwhyIcouldn'ttellyoubut it'snotwhatyou'rethinking."Hesaidandshedidn'tseemto believeawordofit."Ididn'tmeantohurtyou,I'msorry!"He triedtoreachforhershouldersbutsheimmediatelywinced aside.
"Don'ttouchmeRyan.YouandI,asofnow,weareover." Sheutteredwithsobs,andRyan'sfacedropped;hewasinfear; afraidofthemeaningherwordsdecipheredtohim."Idon't wanttoeverseeyouagainyoubastard.Don'tevergetnearme!" Shescreamedandstartedwalkingoutifhisfancyoffice.
"Clairewait,"hesomewhatmanagedtograbherwristand stoodher."pleasedon'tgo."Hebegged,andsheonlysniffed, unabletolookathimintheface;scaredtoendupgivingininto hisspectaculartemptationsthathadprovedtobenothingbut lies.
Sheslowlypulledaway."Stayawayfromme,Mr.Ryan Stevens!"Sheutteredandfinallywalkedawayfromhisoffice, withouteveneyeinghissecretarywhohadregardedherquite politelyuponherarrival.
HERmortificationwasbeyondmeasure;however,sheknewit wasyetanotherexcruciatingbattleshehadtofighton.Hurtor not,herpridewasstillintact,andhadnoplanstoexerciseany degreeofhumility,toanyone.It'showClaireLevywas;nothing, andnoone,wasboundtochangeit.ForClaireLevy,crying meantnothingbutweakness;shehatedcrying,shedespised tears.Seeingherownsobs,justbecausesomeoneshehadmet amonthagoplayedwithherstupidfeelings,madeherfeel patheticandmiserable.
Sheimmediatelydriedupherlasheswhilesearchingforher cellphoneinsidehercasualhandbag,toatleastcallGenaforan emotionalsupport,duringwhich,someoneappearedinthe middleofthewayandtoldher;
"Don'tyouthinkit'stooearlytoshadetearsCinderella?" "Excuseme!"Claireexclaimed,andmetDoris,onceher eyeslifted.Thelatterwascasuallydressedinjeansandbright camisole,withoutforgettingherlongheelsthatkepthertaller thanshealreadywas.
Shescowledherforasecond."There'llneverbetwosunsin thesky,Iheard."saidDorisandstartedwalkingpasther;her mannerswereexceedinglyofajealousywife,andtheformer hadnointentionoftakingtheinsults.
"DowehaveproblemsDoris?"Claireaskedherwithout moving. Thetwowerestaringateitherdirections,withonlytheir backsatoneanother.NotuntilDoristurnedaround,andshe didthesame.
"Oops!Sorry,Iwasjustthinkingoutloud."Shesaidwitha plasticsmile."What'supClaire?Youdon'tlookgood.Did somethinghappenwithRyan?"shekeptmakingsarcasm.
Claire'sanger,thatwasparticularlyforRyan,startedtofind interestonDoris."Idon'tthinkthat'sanyofyourconcern."She clearlytoldher."Wearenotcloseenoughtotalkaboutpersonal matters,don'tyouthink?"Sheaddedasmile.
Dorisseemedtense,butrecoveredquickly,andlunged closetoherface."AnythingrelatedtoRyanismybusiness!"She barked."Idon'tknowwhatyou'relookingfor,butIcanassure youthatyou'llneverfindit.Iknowverywellpeopleofyourkind littlegirl;Icansmellagold-diggerevenfromadistance."she snickered.
ThatcommenthadleftClairealittleperplexed.Sheeven gaspedinshock."What?Agold-digger?"sheuttered."Youdon't knowanythingaboutmesodon'tyouevercallmenames!"She snarledather.
"Ohplease,Idon'tevenneedtoknowyoutorealiz
ewhat yourgameis.Doyouthinkyou'vewonalotteryorsomethingby gettinginvolvedwithhim?"Dorissaid,andClairewasstartingto losehercomposure.
"YouknowwhatDoris,I'mnotwastingmyenergyarguing withyou.Soyoucanthinkhoweveryouwantaboutme,vanityis notmything,thankGod."Clairesaidwithlessexasperationthat sheactuallyfeltwithin.HerargumentwithRyanwasenoughfor alifetimeandneedednotmore."Andyou'reright,theskycan neverhavetwosuns."Sheaddedandtriedtoleaveherwiththat, butitdidn'thappenasplanned.
"IpityyouClaire.Youdon'tknowwhereyou'regettingyour selfinto."Dorissnappedandshefrowned."Beverycarefulwith Ryan;he'slikefireandyoumayendupgettingburned."Shelet outadiaboliclaugh.
Thestatementfeltcontradictory,butClairehadalready knownthatmuch;itwasactuallyastalenewstoher. "Don'tyouthinkthatadviceisalittlemisplacedhere?"she nowaskedDoris,whoturnedtenseagain,andshesmiledatthe sight."Whydon'tyoufollowyourownadviceforachange,and leavetheskybe;Isn'tittiringplayingthefakesun?"shesmirked openlythistimeandasforDoris,shewasalmostreadytoleap afterher,butendeavouredwitheverythingshegot,tostaystoic; itignitedClaire'saudacityasshespoketoherear,"Oh,Ido knowthathe'sfire,bytheway;butguesswhat,Icanbethe extinguisheranytime!"andthenshemovedback,madean innocentsmile,andcasuallysaid,"HaveaniceweekendDirector Marcos."Andoffsheleft.
Thatwasnotpartoftheplan.Allherlife,theonlyperson she'deverhadaheatargumentwith,washerstepmother.And nowitappearedshehadmadeherselfanewenemy;but backingoutwithoutafightwasnotherstyle.Clairewasa naturalfighterandarebel;shewouldn'ttakeanythingshe wasn'tupto,andtheonlypersonwhohadsucceededtobeat herresolutions,byfar,wasRyanStevens,andshehadtoplans toaddanotheronthelist.
Itwasnoadiscussingmatter,thatmorethananythingelse, shewantedtoforgetabouthim;butgivenwhatDorishad insinuatedearlier,herdesirestoenterthechallengegrew immensely,butitconflictedwithherpainatthesametime.But no,shewasn'tgoingtoletRyanplayheragain;shethoughton herwayfromthelobby,andslippedintothefirsttaxishecame acrosswhichtookhertoGena's.Onlyherbestfriendwould helpherreleasetheanger,shedecided.
"Hithere?"Genabeamedather,aminuteshewalkedin, butonlytofrownathersight."What'swrongClaire?Youreyes arepuffy."
"Justletmetakeoffthesejeansfirst,Ifeelcramped." repliedClaire,andstartedpeelingoffthetightjeansshewas wearing,followedwiththeshirt."CanIhaveaT-shirtor something?"sheadded.
"Suityourself!"Genasaidwithawaveofhand."What happened?Ican'tstandthesuspenseanylonger."shetailedher asshewalkedtoherdresserandpluckedaT-shirt,butthen againreturneditandoptedforasilkyrobe.
Clairesighedhaltingly."It'sRyan."Shesaid,andcontinued toputontherobe. "Ryan?Whathashedone?"Genainquiredsternlyand Claire'ssilencemadeherimpatient."Whatdidthatjerkdoyou huh?Didhehurtyoulastnight,becauseI'llpersonallykillhimif he--"
"Okay,willyoucalmdownasec?"Clairelaughedbriefly, andknewrightawaythatitwasthebestdecisiontobethere. "Hedidn'thurtme,atleastnotphysically,ifthat'swhatyou're thinking.Wehadawonderfulnightyesterday,butthismorning.
.."shesatdownontheloveseatcouch,andkepttellingher bestiewhatreallyhappenedearlierthatday;everything includinghertête-â-têtewithDoris,andGenaonlymade shockedremarksinbetween.
"Thenerveofthatwoman!"Shesnapped."Iknewfromthe startsomethingwasoff;itjustdidn'tfeelrightthatonlyshe, keptshowingoffthatshehasexclusiveownershipofhim.Soit wasallalie?"
Claireonlysighed."Yeahapparently."sheprompted. "Andshouldn'twecelebrateforthat?Whydoyoulooklike you'velostaroundofOlympictournament?"Genaaskedher. "Iknowright?"Clairereturned,pensively."Ishouldbe happy;infact,IfeelsuchareliefthatIwasn'tfoolingaround withataken-man.Butitdoesn'tjustifymydisposition;Ifeelso angryrightnow."sheadded.
"AngrywithRyan?"Genaletoutaweaksmile,showinghow understandingshewasofthefact,andClairenodded."Oh honey,IthinkIwouldn'tlovetobeplayedlikethateither;andto thinkHarryhasbeenwithmeandneversaidaword,howdare he?"shesuddenlysnapped.
"Heyheyheyhey,easythere!"Clairewarned."Iappreciate yoursupport,butI'dlovenottoinvolveyouandHarryinthis. Hewasn'ttheonewhoproclaimedthathewasinafake relationship,gotit?"
Genagrunted."Okay,buthe'llhearfromme!"sheinsisted andherfriendlaughed. SomehowClairewasabletoreducethefrictioninside,and thetwoendeduptalkingaboutHarryandtheirnightafterclub. AccordingtoGena,everythingwassettledafterwardsand couldn'thavebeenhappier.
"CanIjustliedowninafew?I'mfeelingtiredandmyhead isspinningfromallthestresses."saidClaireafteralongchat."I justwanttogetoverthisandfocusonmyjob.RyanStevenscan rotinhell."
"AreyousureaboutthatClaire?"
"Absolutely!"Shereckoned.
CHAPTER19
THEfollowingMondayatwork,ClaireadvancedtoNathan's officeafterthemorningbriefing.Thedesignswereproceeding accordingly,exceptfewdetailsthatmadesuggestionsprior, duringthebriefing.
"Soyouthinkweshouldadjustabit?"Nathanaskedasthey settledownwiththebigcomputerscreendisplayedwiththe illustrations.
"Um--notthewholething,Iwasjustthinkingofusingthe falseceilingoverhere,andsomeLEDlightswithsimilar ambiancelike..."shekeptyapping,seeminglyengrossedinto herelement.
Shelovedtheartsincelittle;herfathergaveherago-ahead tofurnishherbedroomhowevershewantedanditbecameher playground.Clairewouldpaintitswalls,moveandchangethe layout,decorateitwithwhatevershe'dfindinfleamarkets;it becameherbesthobby,andgrowingup,sheknewitwasa careershewanted.Shewasreadytopushallthewaytoreach herdream,andhavingNathan'spatronmeantalottoher.
"ThatsoundsgreatLevy.Wecanactuallyincorporatethe themeintotheentirefloorandclassifyitasmodernstyled,so thatwecanclearlydifferentiatedwiththecontemporarytouch ofthisside."saidheandatlasttheyweredonewithwork matters."So,howwasyourweekend?"heaskedwhenClairegot uptogatherhernotes.
"Justsoandso,nothingmajor.I'msorryforleavinginsuch afrenzyattheclub."Shereplied,andhesmilecasually. "Nodon'tmind.Iknewyouwereinsafehands."Hesaidin somekindofinsinuationthatmadeClairealittleuncomfortable. "Heseemsthejealousytypehuh?Areyoutwodating?"
Thatwasexactlywhatshewasafraidof;hercoworkers findingoutherinvolvementswithRyan.Itwasprettymuch uncomfortablegivenherpositionintheoffice.
"Um--nowearenotdating."saidshe."He'sjustsomeoneI knewwaybeforeIstartedworkinghere,andifit'spossible Nathan,I'dliketoaskyoutokeepitbetweenus.Idon'twantto raiseanissueabouthimintheoffice.Youknowhowthingsgo aroundhere,onelittlefactandpeopleescalatethematter."She pleaded.
"Butofcourseit'llstaybetweenusLevy,that'syour personalmatterandthisisaworkplace.I'msorryformaking suchacomment,Iknowit'snotmyplaceandheistheboss,a scarybossindeed."Hesaidinafunnyway.
Clairefoundherselflaughingheartily."Nohe'snotscaryat all;maybealittleuptightbutnotscary."sheargued,he shrugged.
"Ormaybehetriestoprotectwhat'shistoomuch.He seemstobeextremelypossessiveasfaryouareconcerned, whichisquiteunderstandable."
"Ohreallynow?Andwhatdoesthatsupposetomean?" "Itmeanshe'scrazyaboutyouLevy,andI'msureyouknow that."Nathansaidteasingly. "YouknowwhatNathan,I'mnotdiscussingthiswithmy boss,butmaybeifwebumpintoeachotheratRocketnexttime, Imayreconsiderthetopic."shetoldhimwhileatthedoor,and helaughed.
"Okaynewbie,let'shopewecollideattheclubagain."He retortedandClaireleftwhileshakingherheadtothesides, smiling.
Sofarherdaywasproceedingquietwellandtheworkloadkept hertoooccupiedtothinkaboutRyanandespeciallyNathan's commentofhim.Butwhenherphonekeptbuzzingaround twelve,withRyan'snameonthescreen,it'swhenshestarted feelinguneasy.Sheslowlyrejectedallhiscallsandgotherself textsmessagesinstead.
FROM:RYANTHEJERK TO:Claire Mon***12:12PM (Subject)PleasepickupmycallsClaire.
Received. Sheletoutafrustratedsighuponreadinghismessage,and beforedoinganything,Ryancalledheragain.Shestaredthe screenuntilthecallendedandit'swhenshedecidedtorespond.
FROM:Claire TO:RYANTHEJERK Mon***12:15PM
(Subject)Whatpartof''weareover"thatyoudon'tseem tounderstand?PleaseSTOPcallingme!!
Sent. Sheplacedthephonedownandcontinuedwithwork,which bythenwasalreadydisturbedbecauseofhim.Shestarted thinkingofallthetimeshe'dspentwithhim;yestheywere magical,andnotevenonceshecouldbringherselftoforgethis wildkisses,caresses,touchesandgreatsexshe'deverhad.But otherthanbeingphysicalwithhim,wasthereanythingelseshe wasmissingabouthim?Shekeptaskingherselfandthebuzzing stoppedher;shecheckedherphonequickerthanshewanted. FROM:RYANTHEJERK
To:Claire Mon***12:18PM
(Subject)Allofit.Irefusetoacc
eptanyofit,andthat's whyweshouldmeet.Weneedtotalk,andI'llpersonallymake sureithappens.Don'tforgetIt'simpossibleforyoutohidefrom mefortoolong.
Received. Clairesmirkedwhenshereadit.Shethoughtitwas incrediblehowhekeptexercisinghiscontrollingnatureevenin thatsituation.Hewassupposedtobegher,notorderingheras hedid.Shegrabbedthephoneandtypedfuriously.
FROM:Claire To:RYANTHEJERK Mon***12:21PM
(Subject)ButofcourseMr.Stevens.HowcanIpossibly forgetthatyou'reeveryone'sbossaroundhere,andmost especiallyyourgrandsphereofinfluence.Youareright,Iwon't beabletoescapeyouaslongasI'mstilloneofyouremployees, butitdoesn'tmeanI'mwillingtofollowyourwhim.Oh,andjust soyouknow,I'mnotafraidofyouSir!
Sent.
Andshetookadeepbreath,whileengagingbackwiththe computerbeforeher,asifitwashermortalenemy.Sheknew rightfromthestartthatavoidingRyanwasimpossible,butshe stillwantedtotry.Soonorlatershewasgoingtofacehim,andit scaredahelloutofher;hehadbecomebothherstrengthand weaknessatthesametime.EventhoughClairerefusedtoadmit thatshewaspushingherselfbeyondlimitsatwork,justsoshe coulddoabetterjobenoughtohearhimsayhewasrightto believeinher,shestillknewthatwasthecase.
Soitwasn'tallaboutsexandgoodtimes,sheneededhis moralsupport;shealwaysneededsomeonetobeproudofher, andherfearswerethatshe'dlandedherinsecuritiesonawrong person.Thephonebuzzedagain.
FROM:RYANTHEJERK To:Claire Mon***12:25PM
(Subject)AmIbeingthreatenedrightnow? Received. AloudlaughescapedClaire'smouth;shehadtoapologize totheothersfortheindiscretionandluckilytheyweretoobusy bickeringonsomemundanetopics.Shecouldalmostimagine Ryan'svoiceaskingthatquestion;sheevenentertainedtheidea ofmissinghimforamoment,butimmediatelydismissed.She typedthereplycalmly.
FROM:Claire TO:RYANTHEJERK Mon***12:27PM
(Subject)It'sbestyouthinkitthatway;afterallit'swhatI learnedfromyou.UnlikeyouSir,I'vegotthingstodoforyour grandproject,soI'llgetmyselfusefulwhereI'mtrulyneeded.
Sent. Shetossedthephoneaside,Inanobtuseattempttoget herselfbacktowork,whichbecameonlyshortlivedasanother textwasreceived.
FROM:RYANTHEJERK
To:Claire Mon***12:28PM
(Subject)Ialsoneedyou.ImissyouClaire,it'sbeenahell ofaweekendwithoutyou.