by Kat Stiles
The note. I couldn’t even look at him, let alone respond. I left in a hurry, eager to get out of there before I managed to do anything else embarrassing.
* * * *
I went to the park after school to feed ducks, my mind swimming at what happened in gym. I didn’t know what was going on. Of course a part of me secretly hoped to see Tommy again.
“Do you think he’ll be here today?” I asked a mallard, throwing him a piece of bread.
The duck didn’t respond, but just gulped his food down happily. Ducks always made more sense to me than humans, despite the fact that they never spoke. Their motivations are pure: they simply want food. No deception there whatsoever.
I kept my eyes on the trail. Tommy eventually appeared, jogging happily along. I was a little disappointed he wore a shirt this time. He approached and veered off the trail, heading straight my way.
Oh my God, he wants to talk to me. What am I going to say? I took a deep breath and exhaled. Please don’t say anything stupid, I repeated over and over in my mind.
He stopped in front of me, which I knew by his sneakers on the ground. I didn’t have the courage to look up.
“Emily, isn’t it?”
“My friends call me Em.” Actually, “friend” was more accurate. I brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes, and forced myself to make eye contact. “Tommy, right?”
“Yeah. Do you mind if I sit down?”
I moved over on the bench and he sat down next to me. “Sorry for bumping into you before,” I said quietly.
“It’s okay. I didn’t suffer any major damage.”
I flashed a smile at the joke. His proximity began to wreak havoc on my nervous system. It took a conscious effort to even breathe. I cleared my throat, to ensure I had a voice when I spoke. “That’s a good book.”
“What?”
“The Dead Zone. You were reading it in the library.”
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “You like Stephen King?”
“One of my favorites.”
“Mine, too.”
There was a lapse in the conversation that felt like forever. I racked my brain to think of something not stupid to say. Luckily for me, he spoke first.
“So what’s the story with the nurse? She introduced me to you and I’d never met her before.”
“That’s weird.” I felt him staring at me, but I kept my gaze fixed on the ducks.
“What did she mean by ‘it’s a gift not a curse?’?”
How did he hear that? It was what she whispered to me, before he even entered. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s crazy.”
“Maybe.” Another awkward silence followed, before he asked, “What’s with your knee?”
“Nothing.”
“It was bleeding at gym.” He looked at my knee. “I don’t even see a scab.”
I totally forgot… I changed into shorts after school. I covered my knee with my hand while simultaneously turning my legs away from him. “I told you, I’m fine.”
He smiled knowingly. “Okay, if you say so.”
I panicked for a moment, wondering if he suspected anything. But how could I begin to explain what I didn’t understand myself? Deflect, Em. There’s got to be something else to talk about. “So you like running, huh?”
So much for not saying anything stupid. “I mean, you seemed to enjoy it in gym today.”
He fidgeted with the band on his wristwatch. “I know this sounds cliché, but it’s the only thing that makes me feel free.”
“I understand. Feeding ducks helps me clear my head.” My breaths were measured, to project the illusion of calm. I wondered if I pulled it off, if he could tell how totally anxious I was.
“They always try to bite me,” he said.
“Probably only the geese, right? They can be jerks.” I threw a large piece of bread to one of the smaller ducks, and watched him struggle to maintain ownership of it, darting back and forth to avoid the others. My view was suddenly obstructed by Tommy peering around, looking straight into my eyes. For a second, my breathing stopped.
“I knew it. They’re blue today,” he said. “Your eyes.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Feeling more than a little self-conscious, I looked off to the side.
“Don’t turn away. I can’t see them if you turn away.”
I slowly turned back toward him and made eye contact. That beautiful green lit up, brightening his eyes.
“I noticed in gym the other day. Never seen eyes change color like that before.” He continued to study me, before he asked, “So are you ever going to tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“That thought of yours. From the first day.”
I mumbled, “I can’t believe you heard me.”
“I have pretty good hearing.”
“Yeah.” That’s a complete understatement. I remained silent, too embarrassed to answer the question truthfully. And I couldn’t lie. Even if I were a halfway decent liar, in the state I was in, I’d have been lucky to sound intelligible let alone convincing.
“Well, since you’re not talking, I guess I’ll let you get back to feeding.” He smiled. “Can’t have ducks going hungry on my conscience. See you at school.”
* * * *
I had trouble getting out of bed on the next day, despite the fact that I spent most of the prior evening alone vegging out in front of the TV. I forced myself up when the alarm buzzed for the third time. Half-asleep, I didn’t catch a glimpse of myself until I was in the bathroom, undressing to take my shower. And then I focused in on the biggest zit I’d ever seen, sitting comfortably in the dead center of my forehead. My stomach dropped. In a panic, I attempted to pop it. But it was one of those under-the-skin pimples, the kind that takes a whole week to go away. Great, this is exactly what I need. Like I’m not a freak already.
I sighed and finished undressing. In the shower, I sat down in the tub and let the water spray on my back. I thought of Tommy and our encounter at the park. For the first time in my life, someone I liked might actually be interested in me. And now this?
I slumped forward, holding my face in my hands. An intense heat came from my forehead. Out of curiosity, I positioned one of my hands on my forehead and confirmed it was the source. Heat radiated out from the monster zit, but my hand answered it, its temperature as warm and with that tingling sensation too, like in gym. I closed my eyes and saw the beautiful purple again, swirling around in my mind. No, it can’t be. Is it…healing? I kept my hand fixed until the heat disappeared. Then I touched the center of my forehead. Nothing but smooth skin.
Did that really happen? Dripping wet, I jumped out of the shower and darted to the mirror. After rubbing the condensation off, I discovered the pimple was gone. Not even a small bump remained. I couldn’t help but grin. I didn’t know what was going on with me, but that was totally cool.
I finished in the shower, and while I blow-dried my hair, I remembered the nurse and what happened when she touched my shoulder. Her hands were even hotter than mine, the strange sensation the same. And then what she whispered… Maybe she knew what was going on.
After the bus dropped me off at school, I headed straight to the nurse’s office. When I got there, she was sitting at her desk with her eyes closed.
Stepping inside her office, I felt a noticeable change in energy: a peaceful tranquility that was such a contrast from the stressful hallways of the school. Was she meditating?
I almost lost my nerve and left when she opened her eyes.
“Emily.” Judy smiled. “I’ve been expecting you.”
“You have?”
Her brown eyes softened as her smile widened. “Thought it would be sooner, actually.”
I crossed my arms against my chest. “You know why I’m here again, don’t you?”
She moved out from her desk and stood in front of me. The simple blue dress she wore breathed life into the white, sanitary room. “You’re here because you don’t want to go to class, right?”
I couldn’t help
but smile. That calm fell over me again—standing next to her, I relaxed and unfolded my arms.
“Ms. Hernandez!” The assistant principal stormed in and shoved some papers in Judy’s face. “We have rules here…”
Judy didn’t flinch, but returned his cold stare, calm as ever. “Rules, or guidelines?”
“Can you please give us a moment alone?” he asked me, pushing his glasses up his nose in a superior fashion. A vein pulsated on the side of his forehead, and all the peacefulness I experienced before was shattered.
“I really don’t think that’s necessary,” Judy said, and then continued slowly, “This student needs my attention.”
My jaw dropped at her talking to the assistant principal as if he were a complete moron. It took every ounce of reserve I had not to crack a smile.
The assistant principal let out this bizarre hissing sound, which I guessed was a mix of desperation and anger.
“It’s okay, I can…” I began, but Judy shook her head no at me.
“If this needs to be discussed,” Judy said to the assistant principal, as she gently touched his elbow and started to move with him towards the door, “then we can discuss this later. Please.”
That last word seemed to placate him enough to relent. He grumbled to himself but left.
She giggled on her way back to me. “People tend to be afraid of change.” Her grin made it obvious who won that argument, if there was any doubt.
She took my hands into hers. I flinched at the unexpected touch and tried to pull away, but she held on. “This is why you came here. Close your eyes.”
Though I was nervous and unsure, I felt safe somehow. The heat from her hands relaxed me further still. I shut my eyes and the same swirling pattern appeared in my mind, like it did before.
“Do you see purple?” she whispered.
I opened my eyes abruptly, staggering back from her. How did she know?
“I’m like you, Em. I’m a healer.”
Chapter Four
“What do you…” I trailed off, too stunned to finish my thought. Judy’s smile was unshakeable, but there was a look of concern in her expression as well. A healer? I wasn’t sure I believed her. At the same time, what she said made sense, and if it were true, it explained a lot. Like what she was doing with her hands the other day.
“Heal?” I blurted out. “I can heal?”
“It’s why your hands are the way they are,” she said, positioning her hands beneath mine, with my palms facing up. She looked down at them in wonder, but all I saw were the same sweaty palms I’d grown to despise.
This can’t be real. “How? How is this even possible?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest,” she said. “I have theories, I’ve noticed patterns. It seems to be activated by some kind of trauma, but only certain people are affected. Maybe some kind of genetic predisposition?”
Whatever else she said was lost on me; I was on the verge of losing consciousness. Judy steadied me and said, “I was afraid it would be too much to process, but I—”
“No, it’s all right.” I rubbed my eyes. “Thought I was going crazy. Now I know I’m crazy.”
Judy smiled in a comforting, maternal way. Her eyes were beyond kind…I knew I had an ally and a friend in her. “I’m here for you, if you have any questions.”
Yeah, I do have a question. WHY???
But I didn’t want to talk about it. My head was already full. “I do, but I…”
“You need some time,” she said, squeezing my hands once before releasing them. Her eyes searched mine, as if she were looking for confirmation that I was okay with all this. Whether my eyes revealed my utter confusion, disbelief, and fear, I was unsure. She finally broke off eye contact and a small, nervous smile appeared. “Come back when you’re ready, Emily. I’ll answer what I can and show you what I know.”
* * * *
I can’t believe I can heal. For the rest of the morning, I wondered if it really happened. It all seemed so surreal.
At lunch, I eyed Tommy’s table throughout my entire wait in line. I wanted to ask him to sit with Roz and me after I got my food. But then I froze before I got close to his table, unsure of what to say. Do you want to sit with us? Can’t be that hard, just say the damn words. My heart began to race at the very thought of talking to him. I cowered to my table and sat down next to Roz.
“Roz, I have something to tell you,” I said, eager to share my secret with her. But then I glanced over at Tommy.
“Well, what is it? Don’t tell me you actually asked Tommy out?”
“No,” I whispered. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Why are you whispering?” She glanced around. “Who’s gonna hear us?”
I motioned towards Tommy. “I think he can,” I whispered.
“That’s ridiculous. He’s halfway across the room.”
“He was like a mile away when he heard me at the park,” I whispered. “Probably can hear our whole conversation.” I swore a glimmer of a smile flashed on his face.
“Oh yeah?” Her eyes grew large, and the mischievous expression that surfaced worried me. She turned towards his table and said, “Tommy, if you can hear me, then you need to know Em is totally hot for your body. You should seriously join us at our table. Like now.”
“Roz!” I punched her in the arm hard.
“Ow.” She rubbed her arm and glared at me. “Geez, Em, I was only playing. It’s not like he could actually hear me.”
I felt a little stupid seeing him engrossed in his lunch. With everyone chattering away in the lunchroom, the noise was practically deafening. Of course he didn’t hear us.
“I guess you’re right,” I conceded, and started to pick at my food.
Roz turned her attention to her yogurt, stirring it. Her expression became more somber. “So have you remembered anything else from the accident? Maybe what they looked like?”
“No. I don’t think I’m…” I trailed off when I glanced at Tommy’s table and discovered it was empty. My heart began to pound when I located him, walking in our direction.
Roz turned to me, shocked. “No, it can’t be…”
“Can I sit with you two?” he asked.
I wanted to respond to the question. But the words never came out, the lump in my throat making it impossible to speak.
“Yeah, sure,” Roz said.
He sat down across from me, and for a solid minute, no one spoke. I glanced at Roz, and I knew we were thinking the same thing. How in the world did he hear that?
“Tommy, did you, uh—” Roz started.
He smiled. “My ears were buzzing. Ever get that feeling?”
From what you heard, no doubt. I so wanted to die.
“Means someone’s talking about you, right?” he said, a knowing smile on his face.
Was he toying with us? I knew he heard her.
“That’s what they say,” Roz replied quietly.
“Did you hear her?” I asked, so softly it was nearly a whisper. Roz didn’t seem to hear me, even sitting right next to me.
“What do you think?” He looked straight into my eyes, and my breathing stopped for a moment. It was as if he’d caught me red-handed, even though I didn’t do anything.
“Uh, did I miss something?” Roz asked.
“No,” I said, breaking my gaze from him. Then I muttered in her direction, “Told you so.”
He laughed. “Thanks for letting me stay. Your table’s more fun than mine.”
I kept carefully glancing at Tommy while I ate, wondering if I was right, if he did hear us. He didn’t say much, but kept the knowing smile, like he was in on a private joke.
Roz cleared her throat then covertly motioned towards Tommy with her head, as if to say, “Talk to him already!” Since ice breakers weren’t exactly my specialty, I shrugged my shoulders. She rolled her eyes at me.
“So, Tommy, you’re from Manchez, right?” she asked.
He nodded.
“You liking the new school?”
I glanced behind to see what he was staring at. The only thing on the far wall was a small plaque, but I couldn’t make out a single letter on it. That can’t be it, I thought.
Roz giggled. “You sound like a commercial or something.”
“I read that somewhere,” he said, his focus returning to me. “So it must be true.”
“It’s nice to hear you think so highly of our school,” Roz said and smiled wryly.
He continued to stare at me. “Got some interesting characters, that’s for sure.”
Was that an insult? I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or act offended.
“Mostly rednecks at the old school,” he said. “So what do people do for fun in Cannondale?”
“Shopping,” Roz answered without hesitation.
He glanced away for a moment to smile at her, before his gaze settled back on me.
What do I say? “I…I guess I like to go to the park,” I stammered out.
His smile widened. “I noticed.”
“She’s going today, too,” Roz exclaimed, beaming.
I punched her in the arm again and she winced. But this time, she stomped my foot underneath the table in response. I let out a soft whimper of pain.
“You are?” His eyes came alive as he leaned towards me.
I blushed at his reaction, and inside my heart pounded. He is interested. “Yeah, after school.”
The bell sounded the end of lunch period.
“Maybe I’ll see you there again,” he said.
I smiled. On my way out, I glanced at the plaque on the wall and did a double take when I read the words he spoke. They were printed in small letters under a picture of the high school, an introduction into why this place was so wonderful. Even standing right next to it, I could barely make out the words. Did he really read that?
* * * *
I tried to concentrate on school that afternoon, but my mind kept drifting back to the conversation with Judy. More than anything else, I wanted to know how the healing thing worked. So for my study hall, I went to her office.