by Kat Stiles
“Doesn’t explain what?” I said.
“I got the murders confused, that’s all,” she said quietly.
Of course I didn’t believe her, but it would be futile to argue. I had a feeling her comment was somehow tied into her strange behavior as of late. “Oh. Well what about Nydia’s family? Were they referred?”
Roz thumbed through more files until she came upon a folder for the family. “Yeah, but I don’t think he met with them yet. It only has the notes from Adam.”
I started rifling through the drawers of his desk. Even his paper clips were very neatly lined in a row. “This guy is seriously OCD.”
“Ya think?” Tommy said. He canted one of the frames on the wall ever so slightly.
Great minds think alike, I thought, and smiled to myself.
He made his way over to the desk and slid up on top of it, crossing his legs as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Then he started thumbing through the appointment book. “Oh shit.”
“What?” I said.
“You have an appointment with him next week.”
“I do?” I leaned in next to him to confirm. Sure enough, my name had been carefully penciled in there for Tuesday. I wondered when my mother intended to tell me about it.
“You can’t go,” Roz exclaimed. She grasped my arm with the kind of intensity that a mother would use to yank her child back from danger. “I mean, now that we know he’s the killer, it’s not safe.”
“She’s right, Em,” Tommy said. “Don’t go.”
“Roz?” I motioned to the arm she still held on to.
“Oh.” She released me. “Sorry.”
“Trust me, I don’t want to go,” I said. “I can’t believe my mother didn’t tell me.”
Tommy jumped down from the top of the desk and began rummaging through the drawers with me. “Find anything good?”
“Not yet.” I went to close the drawer, but he stopped me.
“Oh, you’re not looking right.” He started emptying the drawer. The contents were simple medical journals and books—I didn’t see anything interesting. After he took the last one out, he explained, “These books are too short to stand this tall in this drawer.” He positioned the tallest of the books outside, comparing the height of it versus the height of the drawer. “See? It’s got a fake bottom.”
My mouth gaped when he reached down and removed a small wood panel from the bottom of the drawer. He pulled out what appeared to be a journal.
“Wow. That’s amazing,” I said. “I can’t believe you noticed it.”
He leafed through the pages. “I think we found his diary. Dates back from when he first opened his practice.”
He was about to hand it to me, but Roz snatched it from him, looking panicked. She flipped it over to the back cover, and thumbed through the pages from the back. “Did he…” she trailed.
“Lemme see.” I reached to grab it.
She smacked my hand away. “Wait your turn,” she said, not taking her eyes off the journal. She scanned a few more pages, and then let out what sounded like a sigh of relief.
“All yours,” she said innocently, like she hadn’t acted like a total weirdo.
I was astounded at the pristine condition of it, considering its age. On the first page was the most flawless handwriting I’d ever seen, a beautiful script that looked as if it were printed. I flipped through the pages, reading a few passages as I scanned. It focused mostly on his patients and observations about humanity in general, along with a few smug comments on his superior counseling techniques. I recalled his awards and commendations, how they were dated from two years ago. “Wait a minute.” I flipped forward to that time frame to see if he wrote anything interesting.
“What is it?” Tommy said.
“He wrote about the accident. His ability,” I began, and read a little longer before I continued, “came from it.”
“Oh yeah?” Tommy said.
“He killed his wife, he said by accident, because he didn’t know about his power.” I flipped forward a few pages. “Then he talks about how he can see inside people’s minds. He calls it a mind probe.” I turned to the next page, engrossed in his narrative. His notes chronicled the effects of his ability on his patients. “He knows about the headaches.”
“What a complete jerk,” Roz said.
Why did the doctor keep doing it, and what was his motive? As I continued to read, it became clear. He wrote about how it affected him to use his power. The desire I sensed from him. I shuddered, recalling how creepy it felt. “He gets a high off it. Get this: he calls it his ‘supreme manifestation of power. Proof of his superiority, his dominance,’” I recited.
“That man has issues,” Roz said.
“Yeah, that’s an understatement.” I paged forward, eager to read his current entries and see what he wrote about me.
A loud clanking noise sounded in the distance. Tommy motioned for us to be silent. He tiptoed to the light switch and turned the overhead light off.
Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I carefully made my way over to him.
“What is it?” I whispered.
“It’s the janitor,” Tommy said. “I think he’s out in the hall.”
“What are we going to do?” Roz said in a frightened whisper.
“I’ll listen, so we can time when to sneak back out,” Tommy said.
Damn, I was just getting to the good part. I shoved the journal under my arm and grabbed Tommy’s hand. We moved out to the treatment room where we waited while he listened. From what I could hear, it sounded like the man was assembling some kind of floor equipment.
“He turned his tunes on,” Tommy whispered, right before the deafening roar of what I guessed was a floor buffer filled the entire complex. He winced, covering his ears.
It was only a few minutes before the sound traveled farther down the hall, making it safe to go out to the waiting area. We sneaked towards the suite entrance door, avoiding the large window that looked out to the main hallway. Tommy cracked the door open to peek out. I held my breath in anticipation, wondering how long our luck would last.
He motioned for us to follow him. The hallway was fully lighted now, and the janitor had moved into one of the other suites. We were able to get out fast, and in the total darkness of the evening, we made it back to the car unnoticed.
I kept thinking about the doctor, and the possibility that he actually enjoyed hurting people. I knew he was a total creep, but it totally freaked me out to think I was right there with him. Being treated by a killer with a degree in psychology. Like I wasn’t screwed up enough already.
The ride back was too fast—I found myself not wanting to leave Tommy. After he killed the engine, his hand settled on my knee.
Roz noticed and let out an exhausted sigh. “Hold on a second. Let me leave first.”
“It’s later, isn’t it?” Tommy said to Roz, a big grin on his face. “You’re the one who said we could make out—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Roz said. “Bye, Tommy.”
“Goodnight, Roz,” he responded.
“I’ll catch up with you in a sec,” I said to her, then turned to Tommy. “You were great tonight. As always.”
“Great, huh?” He carefully brushed the hair on my shoulder aside. “Always?”
“Always.”
He gently kissed my neck, and the heat flared within me.
“There it is again,” he whispered. He continued to kiss my neck, working his way upward to my cheek.
I shuddered at the warmth of his lips on my skin. I turned my head so that his lips touched mine. The kiss was incredible; I wished I could stay with him all night.
“When can I see you again?” I said.
“Sunday afternoon.” He took my hand and kissed it. “See you then, beautiful.”
Roz was waiting for me around the corner. I met up with her, and she smiled with borderline stalker-esqe affection.
Something was up with her. The sustained niceness was certa
inly suspect itself, but the fleeting nervousness and fear I felt from her really bothered me.
Roz was pretty wired the rest of the night. The movie began, and she played with my hair, leaning her head on my shoulder. I experienced an overwhelming sadness from her again, which only made me more curious to find out what was going on. But the sensation of her fingers in my hair managed to knock me out, thwarting my plan to attempt a healing. She got up before me in the morning, so I planned to try again later that night.
Saturday only deepened my suspicion something was very wrong. Roz was still so friendly, even downright clingy. We went to the park to feed ducks, caught a horror movie at the theater, and then went out to a nice dinner with her father. When I asked her why she spoiled me, she shrugged and smiled, and then hugged me. We continued to go through our movies at the house. Sitting together on the couch, she wrapped her arms around me and held on. I laid my hands gently on her and the heat flowed. She finally relaxed.
“Roz, tell me about your last vision.”
Her sleepy voice answered, “What?”
“Your last vision. Tell me about it,” I whispered.
She sat up abruptly. “No. I’m not going to keep replaying it. It was hard enough the first time.” Her eyes looked off in the distance.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to know why—”
“Forget about it,” she said. “I’m going to sleep.”
And with that, she left. I followed her back to her room, confused, but tired myself.
During the course of the night, she awoke several times, and once she even screamed my name. When I asked about it, she collapsed back down, mumbling something about a nightmare.
The next morning, she surprised me with a breakfast of homemade waffles.
“Are you sure you’re feeling all right?” I said.
“Em, will you please stop asking me that? I’m perfectly entitled to make my best friend breakfast every once in a while,” she said. As if she hadn’t been crazy the entire weekend.
“I figured you got tired of me yesterday.” I smiled. “Took one night longer than I thought.”
“I’m not tired of you. I don’t want to talk about my visions. People die in them. It’s not very pleasant.”
I stopped myself from laughing at her bizarre choice of words. Of course I couldn’t argue. I’d experienced the pain of her visions with her. She was right—it was decidedly unpleasant.
“I want to see Tommy today. Will you cover for me?”
She frowned. “We’re supposed to spend the whole weekend together.”
“Yeah, but don’t you want at least a couple of hours to yourself? I’ll come back afterwards, if you want.”
“Okay,” she agreed, the warmth returning to her expression. “But don’t go for too long. We haven’t watched all of our movies yet.”
I smiled back, but secretly wondered if she was possessed, or had been abducted by aliens and replaced with a perfect doppelganger, like in the comics.
I voiced my theories to Tommy later that day. He laughed and said I was paranoid, although he did offer to talk to Roz for me. I thanked him, but I was fairly certain he wouldn’t get anywhere with her.
For the rest of the time, we barely spoke. It was nice we didn’t have to, that we could just be with each other, no words required. We lay by the creek, breathing and listening to the gentle bubbling sound of water for hours. The afternoon couldn’t have been more peaceful.
Roz was waiting at the corner when we got back.
“Maybe you’re right about her,” he said.
“I told you. She’s been so damn nice to me this whole weekend. I don’t know what to do with her.”
“Let’s find out what’s up, shall we?”
She greeted us both, and gave me a big hug. The moment she let go, Tommy’s arm slipped around my waist.
“So Roz, what’s with the overly friendly behavior? You’re freaking out my girlfriend.”
I nudged him in the ribs, and he revised, “I mean me. You’re freaking me out. I’m starting to wonder if I’ve got competition.”
“Look, Tommy, I’ve known her my entire life. She’s my best friend. I have every right to be affectionate with her,” she said indignantly.
“You’re not going to tell me either, huh?” She looked off to the side, and he turned to me. “Could be worse, Em. I mean, she is being nice to you, right? I would enjoy it while it lasts.”
Roz stuck her tongue out at him and hooked her arm in mine. “Now, if you would excuse us—”
“Not so fast. I still get my goodbye kiss.” His arm around my waist pulled me back to him. “Now if you would excuse us…”
Roz sighed in concession and walked off, right before Tommy’s lips touched mine. It was hard to break away from that kiss. But Roz waited only a few feet from us, and she wanted to spend more time with me. Whatever was going on with her, I had to be there for her.
“Guess I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
“Yeah, see you then.” He gave me a final kiss on the cheek before releasing me.
“Okay, she’s all yours,” he yelled to Roz.
She muttered something under her breath in response.
“I heard that,” Tommy yelled back to her and then smiled.
“What did she say?”
“Finally.” Tommy got in his car and drove off, waving goodbye to us.
“So weird…” I said to myself.
Roz wore a knowing smile on her face.
“You really like him, don’t you?” she said, once I caught up to her.
“Yeah, I do. I only wish I could tell him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I–I have difficulty telling him I love him.”
Her eyes got big. “Are you in love with him?”
“Yeah.” I smiled.
“Em, I’m so happy for you.” She gave me a big hug. “So why can’t you say it?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe it has something to do with my father. That’s who my mother always blames.”
“I was thinking more your mother and sister, what with the way they both talk about men.”
I sighed. “Between a father who went overboard on love and a mother who doesn’t comprehend it, it’s surprising I’ve lasted more than five minutes with anyone.”
“You’re okay, Em. More okay than most people would be, considering your past.”
“Yeah. Still wish I could say it to him, though.”
She patted my shoulder. “You will. Gotta give yourself time.”
We made it back to her house and popped in the last DVD. Half-way into the movie, I felt a strong feeling of affection from her again. I glanced over at her. Were those tears?
“Roz, this is a comedy. You’re not supposed to cry.”
She let out a strange, nervous laugh. “It’s so funny.” The affection changed to anguish, and the bizarre smile that appeared worried me. Whatever she was hiding from me was really starting to affect her.
“What’s the deal with you?” I said.
“Nothing,” she said, wiping the remnants of tears from her eyes. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to talk during a movie?”
I half-smiled at her attempt at humor. I decided if she still acted weird tomorrow morning, I’d get to the bottom of it. I’d beat it out of her if necessary.
* * * *
The next morning, Roz greeted me at the bus stop with another prolonged embrace. After she released me, I grabbed her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Roz, I know something’s up. Tell me.”
“I only wanted to give you a hug,” she said, acting all offended. “You’re very warm, you know that?”
“Yeah, Tommy says that, too,” I replied, before her intention became clear. “Changing the subject won’t work. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Don’t be so paranoid.” We boarded the bus and sat in our row.
“You’ve been acting strange since Friday. What the hell happened?”
/>
“Roz?” The interruption came from across the way. I glanced in the direction of the voice to see an unfamiliar face, a boy who appeared to be an upper classman.
“I was wondering, uh, would you—” he started.
“I’m sorry, I’m trying to have a life here,” Roz interrupted. “Please leave me alone. I’m not interested.”
I gasped in astonishment. Her response was downright rude—I’d never heard her talk to one of the minions that way.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Did something happen with your father? Your grandmother?”
“Everything’s fine, Em,” she said, although the increasing anxiety I felt within her disagreed.
“Something’s going to happen,” I whispered even more quietly. She flinched slightly at the words, confirming my suspicion. “Tell me about your vision.”
“It’s nothing.”
“What did you see?” I tried to stare her down, but she avoided my eyes and stayed silent. I was on to something: the vision was the key to her unusual behavior over the last few days.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
Her anxiety steadily grew in intensity. She finally glanced at me, her eyes glassy.
Oh God, no.
Chapter Seventeen
For a long time, I didn’t say a word, still in shock. Finally I spoke, right when the bus arrived at school.
“Jesus, Roz, why didn’t you tell me?”
She kept her eyes focused on the back of the seat in front of us. “Tell you what?”
“Your vision. It’s me, isn’t it?”
Her head bowed down. “How’d you figure it out?”
“The way you’ve been acting. It all makes sense. But what I don’t understand is why you didn’t come out and say it.”
We made our way to the locker area, and Tommy walked over towards us.
Roz looked me in the eyes. “I realized with the last murder I can’t stop it. No matter what I do, I’m powerless to change anything,” she said, so sadly I choked back tears myself.
“I don’t believe that and neither should you,” I said.
She hugged me tighter than she ever did before. “I can’t lose you.”