When the sun sets and it grows dark outside, he lights a few tiki torches with a lighter from his grill. He mixes himself a drink and listens to me talk about my friends and Eva. I might have said way too much about Eva than was needed, but once my mouth said her name, I couldn’t stop the word vomit that flew out.
“Do you know her?” I ask him. “Your neighbor?”
He smirks a mischievous smirk. “A little.”
The night grows late and I have to get back to Coop’s before he sends a search party out for me, and trust me, he’ll send a search party out for me, but I feel so unfinished here. I want to hear every little thing that Calvin’s willing to tell me. Leaving now, when I’ve only heard so little, seems stupid.
“You have a lot of questions, right?” Calvin says, catching my reluctance to leave.
“I do. My mom, she wants me to visit you. She asked that I think about it.”
“I know,” he says. “I know that.”
“But the Coopers …” I hesitate.
“Have been your family,” he responds.
I nod in agreement.
“By all means, come back whenever you have the free time?” he suggests. “No need to park on the side of the road. Come on down the driveway and right in. My gate is always opened.”
I nod again.
“I’m an old man, Bodhi, and keep to myself. You stop by whenever you want, I’m always here. Join me for dinner a few nights a week and let me get to know my grandson a little. If you can do that, I can answer some of your questions.”
“You’re bargaining with me?” I make clear.
“Yes, son, I am,” he agrees. “You never know, maybe you’ll learn a little by spending time over here.”
I can do that, sounds pretty simple. Plus, he’s a damn good cook. “Deal,” I say.
He pushes away from the table. “Well, I think we can call it a night. What time is it anyway?”
“After ten,” I reply as I go to stand.
He nods to his long dock that leads to the water. “Do me a favor before you leave. Head down my dock, and when it forks through the trees, head to the left. I think you’ll find something you want,” he smiles. “It was nice to meet you, Bodhi.” He then blows out the tiki torches and heads inside without even so much as a goodbye.
A bit confused and with my fingers ready to press Coop and Beck on my phone at a moment’s notice, I do as he asks. His dock is extremely long. It starts from his patio and goes all the way down to the Halifax. It’s lit well enough that I can see where I’m going, but it’s weird, about halfway down it forks to the left like he said it would, and this route disappears into the dark, swampy Florida jungle. You almost don’t even notice it’s here, this path, until you’re right on top of it. The trees and marshy overgrowth enclose it completely.
I pause, not knowing what I’m about to walk through or what I’ll see on the other end, and if I should indeed listen to this man and his odd request, but I do. I turn to the left and walk a few hundred feet, using the glow from my cell phone to guide me, before seeing moonlight and another dock come into view as it clears a little. And, as I come out of the palms and overgrowth brush, further down on this new dock that’s in front of me, sits the one and only Eva Calloway.
chapter six
Eva
I t’s been a few days since Lenora’s memorial, since my perfect moment with Bodhi on the beach. When I got home that night, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was half hoping my mom would be waiting for me, ready to sit down and explain why she paid for the entire bill at Funky Pelican, or ready to at least tell me why she didn’t drag me away from the memorial. When I got back though, she was still out with my brothers.
I hated leaving Bodhi standing there. I hated I didn’t go with him to Funky Pelican. I hated I allowed myself to walk away, knowing Bodhi was ready to pick up exactly where we left off three years ago, knowing that’s also what I wanted. I hated that I’m still with Porter and I couldn’t tell Bodhi what I was thinking, which was that I didn’t want to leave his side all night, the next day, every day after that.
I hated myself.
When my mom and brothers got home, I could hear her bring them upstairs. She tucked them in for the night and stopped right outside my door. This was it, the moment I was waiting for, the moment she would tell me what the hell was going on, but she simply stood there and said goodnight. She acted like nothing had happened and I played along, because two can play that game.
These past few days, I’ve spent avoiding Porter. After that moment with Bodhi, my mind is so unsettled and I can’t seem to think about anything else. We have something, Bodhi and I. Something huge. Something meaningful, something once in a lifetime. This connection that I can’t explain. I am drawn to him so badly … it’s almost like I’m walking around in a cloudy haze now. Nothing is clear, and nothing will be until I see him again.
Having Porter around irritates me, even more so than normal. He’s caught on to the fact I’m avoiding him though, as he’s shown up at my house early this morning without even so much as a text message. When I walk in for coffee, I see him at my table eating a bagel and drinking orange juice with my mom and brothers. I do a quick pause, questioning if I could sneak back up to my room without him seeing me, but he does. I wonder if he notices my complete and utter disappointment with seeing him in my kitchen?
“Eva!” he announces my presence. “Come sit and eat with us!”
I pour some coffee, taking as long as possible before I sit down. But then I do, because I’m sure it would look as awkward as hell if I took my coffee and walked out of the room without acknowledging him.
“You shouldn’t drink that stuff,” Porter points to my coffee. “You have an addiction to it. It’s not healthy. It stunts your growth.”
“I’m almost five foot eight,” I remind him, rolling my eyes.
My mom lets out a little snort as she sips from her own cup. I glance up at her, wondering if she’s going to stick up for me. No one ever sticks up for me, especially when Porter’s around.
“She got that from me,” she then says. “The height and the coffee addiction. Super hot—a splash of cream. Only way to start the morning.”
Porter ignores my mom and spends the next hour telling us in fine detail about everything he and I are doing today with his friends that are visiting from Connecticut. I’m not even asked. I’m just told this is what our plans are for the day. I can’t think of an excuse fast enough to get me out of it, and besides, I can tell Porter’s not going to take no for an answer, so I’ll go. I’ll waste my entire day being around people I have no desire to be with, people I can’t stand, wishing I could be anywhere else, wishing I could be with Bodhi.
HERE I SIT numerous hours later, on my dock, listening to the water hit up against it and the hum of the boats in the far distance, decompressing from pretending to be happy all day with Porter. The sun has set. The sky is dark, but the twinkling lights from nearby docks and patios illuminate the darkness. I’m deep in thought, about Bodhi of course, when I hear a rustle to the right of me. I jump and look over that way. It’s dark at first, but as my eyes adjust, I see a person walking out. The last person I expect, but the only person I would ever want it to be.
“Bodhi?!” I jump up and run over to him. I about fall off the dock in the process. My legs are so unsteady from sitting here for so long, and my body has gone into sudden shock from seeing Bodhi materialize right in front of me when I was just thinking about him.
He catches me and laughs, “Steady there, Eva.”
I throw my arms around his neck before I even realize what I’m doing. I can tell he’s unsure how to react as my arms tighten around him, but I don’t move them. I want us to be this close. I love this feeling. His body relaxes and melts into mine, and his hand finds its way up to the back of my head. His fingers wrap around my hair and I catch my breath. I could stay like this forever. I only release my arms because my curious mind needs to know.
&nb
sp; “What are you doing here? And why did you come from crazy Cal’s?”
He lets out a loud laugh, the moonlight reflecting off his dark brown eyes. He gives me a little smirk and reaches out for my hand, raising his eyes at the same time as if asking permission to take it. Without even giving it a second thought, I place mine in his and let him lead me to sit again.
As we settle, my body gets as close to his as possible. I find myself scooting over to him so that our shoulders are touching and our hips are dangerously close to one another. I worry though, and stare across the Halifax at Porter’s house as if he’s standing out there with binoculars watching my every move.
“So … I have to ask,” Bodhi says, looking over at me.
I wince, thinking he’s going to question why I left him on the beach a few days ago when it was so clear I wanted to stay.
“Why do you call him crazy Cal?”
I let out a quick sigh of relief and relax into his side. “Calvin? He lived over there before,” I point towards his house. “When I was little, but then he and his wife left, and the house sat empty for the longest time. A few years ago, I come out here and he’s there, on the other side where you came out, back, like he never left. Without his wife though. He gives me this weird vibe. I see him fishing off his boat in the Halifax all the time. It’s like whenever I’m on the Halifax, he’s there too. He always waves like he’s my best friend.”
Bodhi laughs again.
I nudge him with my shoulder. “Why are you laughing at me?”
My hand is still in his, and he rubs my fingers with his own. I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose, or if it’s a habit. Either way, it sends a jolt of electricity throughout my entire body. He looks up and smiles.
“Today I found out that crazy Cal is my grandpa.”
“What?!” I exclaim, covering my mouth with my hand. Instantly I can see it. Bodhi and Calvin, they look a lot alike now that I think about it. “I thought you didn’t have any grandparents?”
“Yeah, same here,” he says. “My mom knew about him, I think. Well, she had to because she wants me to spend time with him, get to know him and stuff. It’s my dad’s dad, the dad I know nothing about.”
“Are you going to?” I ask him. Just the idea of Bodhi being right next door makes my heart race. “Are you going to visit him more?”
“I think,” he replies. “I just met him tonight. There’s something weird about it all, like I’ve been lied to, or I’m being lied to. Like there’s more I don’t know? Something doesn’t add up.”
I glance up at him. He looks upset, and confused, and beautiful. The triple combination kills me. I put my head on his shoulder, it feels so natural to do this. “Welcome to my world,” I mumble.
His arm comes up over my back and his hand rests on my shoulder. I can’t get enough of his touches, and they’re constant. His hands, his fingers, they’re always touching some part of my body. I crave it, and when his hands move from my body, I hold my breath as I wait to see where they’ll fall next.
“Hey,” he blurts out. “My mom, she left you all her photography equipment and cameras.”
I gasp and almost start crying. “She did?”
“Yeah, of course,” he replies. “You were her apprentice, remember? And I could never even figure out how to turn the damn cameras on, let alone use them.”
I laugh because it’s true. The first time I heard Bodhi swear was when we were twelve and he was trying to turn his mom’s camera on as a bunch of wild piglets crossed our path. I remember laughing hysterically the more frustrated he got until I gave in and helped him.
I hesitate a moment before asking, “Could we keep it all at your house?”
He looks over at me, confusion on his face. “Sure, but why?”
I sigh and dig my fingers into my palm. “My dad. After that day, the accident, he tossed my camera in the pool.” I can hear Bodhi take in a deep breath. “I was told photography was a hobby that I was no longer interested in.”
Bodhi squeezes my shoulder as he says, “Your dad’s a real winner. We’d get along great.”
“Gold stars all around,” I say, but then I get serious because I want him to know how important this is to me. “I don’t want anything to happen to her stuff.”
He nods his head. “It can stay at my house and will be our secret. You can come over and use it all whenever you want.”
“Yeah?” I question him. Just the thought of being back inside Bodhi’s house makes my stomach flutter.
“One condition,” he smirks.
I raise my eyebrows at him.
“I get to be there, hovering over you. Just like before.”
I laugh. “Deal.”
“She left you some photos too,” he continues.
My face lights up. “Those I think I can keep safe.”
“I’ll get them the next time I’m at my house,” he says to me. “Or better yet … come with me one day and get them. You and me, in my house, together again.”
I look over at him and his face is confident, but his dark eyes are nervous as he waits for my response.
“Sure,” I say to him, just as confident. “I would love to be back inside your house. With you.”
“Yeah?” he questions.
“Yes.”
He pauses for a moment before asking, “Hey Eva?”
I love hearing my name come from his mouth. I’ve missed hearing my name come from his mouth. “Yeah?”
“Have you not been taking pictures this whole time? These last three years? Did you stop?”
My mind goes back to last spring, sitting on the patio one evening. It was dark already, even though it wasn’t that late. A pop-up storm was brewing, and the clouds looked angry and ready to burst at any moment. I was by myself in a lounge chair, watching the storm unfold, when I saw my dad and Mr. Channing approaching from the dock. I knew they were getting back from a fishing trip and they didn’t see me sitting there. Their heads were down as they talked. I could tell right away that Mr. Channing was drunk, as my dad had his arm around him and was helping to guide his every step. I picked up on their conversation the closer they got to the patio.
“There are letters? And statements? And copies of everything? How did we not fucking know this?” Mr. Channing exclaimed.
“We’ll find them,” my dad said to him. “We’ll find it all, and if not, I took care of it.”
“Took care of it?” Mr. Channing threw his arms in the air. “This will ruin my family. My family, and your family too! All that money, gone. He’ll come take it the first chance he gets. After what we did, if he ever finds out—”
“Shh! Keep it down, Henry,” my dad hushed as he put Mr. Channing’s back to me and rested his hands on his shoulders. “Owen Edwards is not going to talk. I took care of that. You know I did.”
Owen Edwards? I remember being so confused when I heard his name. Owen lived on a yacht and was a well-known captain and fisherman in Flagler. He didn’t live here permanently. He sailed around a lot, but when he was here, he was popular. If you needed a yacht for a social gathering, he was your man. If you needed fresh fish for your restaurant, he was your man. Rumor has it, he was also your man if you needed some recreational drugs too. Why the hell did my dad and Mr. Channing care about Owen Edwards?
“But what about Phoebe Rialson?” Mr. Channing shouted. “What if she talks? And if all this shit gets found—”
“Calm down!” my dad demanded. “She’s not going to talk. She has too much to lose. That was not part of the plan. She knows this.”
At that point, I almost jumped out of my seat and made it known I was there. Curiosity was eating away at my mind. I was born and raised in Flagler, and had never heard of a Phoebe Rialson before, ever. Did it surprise me as I sat there, that my dad and Mr. Channing were in the middle of something they shouldn’t be in the middle of? No, it didn’t, but did I want to continue sitting there listening to whatever it was they were arguing about? No, I didn’t.
“I will not lose everything!” Mr. Channing shouted. “I will get rid of him, before I lose everything!”
“Henry!” my dad exclaimed. “Do not even think that! That has never been an option. Owen is not going to talk,” he continued. “We’ll make sure Phoebe holds up her end of the deal, and if anyone else comes out of the woodwork, I’ll take care of them like I do everyone else …”
That’s when my dad saw me. His face turned an alarming shade of white and he changed the subject as he guided Mr. Channing inside our house. He didn’t even acknowledge I was there. I was a ghost in his eyes, a ghost who had heard something I was not meant to hear.
The next day the town was all a buzz with rumors that Owen Edwards left Flagler in the middle of the night. Disappeared with no warning, and so was his yacht. I wasn’t stupid. I could put two and two together, but I was not about to question my dad on the conversation I overheard with him and Mr. Channing. I was scared, and I didn’t want to know anything else. I didn’t want to think my dad was capable of anything like what my mind was imagining. I was going to forget it, pretend I never heard it. Pretend I had no idea why Mr. Channing was freaked out about Owen Edwards and some Phoebe person. I was good at pretending. I could do this.
Late that night though, when I stumbled home from a party I had been at with Porter, I opened my bedroom door to find a new, very expensive camera on my bed with a note attached to it.
Love, Dad, was the only thing it said.
I knew what that meant. I would never forget that conversation now. I would never forget Owen Edwards. I would never forget Phoebe Rialson, but I also would never let what I heard leave my lips. My secrecy had been bought by one of the things I loved the most.
“Eva?” Bodhi says my name, snapping me out of my memories.
“He owed me,” is all I say. “My dad, he owed me. He bought me a new camera a little while ago. I still take pictures.”
Confession Page 7