“This is insane. You two are insane,” Porter stands up. “You deserve each other. I’m out of here.”
Eva sits up from the couch. “Porter!” she shouts. He freezes in his steps. “This is real, and it’s getting bad. You need to figure out whose side you’re really on, and you need to do it soon.”
He shakes his head.
She then says quietly, “Thanks for pulling over for me.”
He sighs and turns around to face her. “Of course I would pull over for you, Eva.” Then he walks down the stairs to the garage and leaves.
Eva sits there, looking stunning in a tight white dress, her black hair straighter than normal, her lips pinker, her amazing eyes are brighter and bigger. Her beauty is making the room spin in front of me. I feel drunk almost as I look at her, but my god she looks so scared. It kills me, and I have to know how this happened. I walk over to her and crouch down, taking her hands in mine. She looks up at me. She knows what I’m going to ask her. I can see the dread on her face as she waits for me to speak.
“Please tell me he ran you off the road.” I whisper. “Please don’t tell me you pulled over for him.”
She looks away.
Son of a bitch. “Why, Eva?! Why?!” I shout at her, dropping my hands and pounding them on the ground.
“You’re mad at me?!” she shockingly asks.
“Yes, Eva!” I cry out. “You pulled over for my dad! The man we were told to stay away from! The man who’s a drug addict and is so unstable! I can only imagine what he would have done to you if Porter hadn’t of shown up! Why, Eva?!”
She jumps with my fuming temper. “He would have followed me anyway!” she cries out. “I’m pretty sure he was waiting for me, Bodhi! What was I supposed to do?! Just let him follow me here? Then what? You and I sit down with your crazy father and discuss how he’s here to take money you don’t have? Money Henry Channing will never give you? You wanted me to bring him here? Because that’s exactly what would have happened!”
I can feel my face heating up with anger. I have never been so upset, so pissed off over someone’s careless actions before. Usually, it’s me making the stupid mistakes, and trust me, I’m not one to judge, but it’s because I love her so goddamn much that I’m so heartlessly angry with her right now.
“You can’t be doing shit like this!” I cry out. “I don’t give a damn if he ended up here! As long as he stayed the fuck away from you! You can’t put yourself in danger on purpose like this! You can’t walk around thinking you will never get hurt! It’s stupid to live like that!”
“Oh, you mean like how you lived these last few years?”
She doesn’t wait for me to say anything back. She stands up and pushes right past me, making me fall onto the floor. I watch as she grabs her key off my table and heads right to the front door. I jump up and run over, slamming my body against it.
“No!” I exclaim, trying to grab her key from her hand. She swings it away from me, an absolute look of fury on her face. “Don’t you dare leave like this, Eva!”
She puts her hands on her hips. I know she’s getting ready to blow up at me. I brace myself for the destructive impact. She actually growls as she shouts, “You fucked up for three years, never giving a damn who you would hurt or what you did to the people who cared about you, and I make one bad decision—”
“I had nothing to lose! You left, my mom was dying, you had moved on—”
“I never moved on!” she glares at me. “Tell me, Bodhi! What would have happened if you had died because of something stupid you did?! Your drinking and partying, and living life as if you were invincible? Did you even think about me for a second as you were making those awful decisions? What would happen to me hearing that you had drowned surfing drunk, or suffocated on your own vomit? If someone had told me you were dead, I would have jumped off my balcony head first!”
My heart drops. I go to say something, but she pushes me in the chest and continues.
“And all the girls! The fucking girls! Did you even think about me for a second when you were screwing other girls? How that would make me feel?!”
She looks broken. Absolutely broken. Tears are running down her face as she tries vainly to stop them from flowing. I want to comfort her, to pull her into my arms, to tell her how sorry I am, but I can’t find it in myself to console her yet.
“I thought you had moved on!” I shout again. “You never called! You never came back! When I saw you with Porter, I died! Everything inside of me died that day! You and him, after what we almost had! What we did have! What we could have had! What about you, huh? Were you thinking of me when you and Porter—”
“Every single time!” she screams at my face before I can finish. “Every goddamn time I wished it was you!”
She stares me down with her intense green eyes, waiting for me to say something back, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say, and before I can even attempt to get one word out, she turns. She walks right to the stairs that will lead her to my garage and away from me.
“Eva! Don’t do this! Please!” Seeing her turn her back on me is the exact shock that I needed. I can’t let her leave, not like this. “I’m sorry,” I tell her as calmly as I can, trying to keep my voice soft. “I’m so sorry, babe. I can’t go back and change any of it. I would if that was an option. I absolutely would. Every single thing I’ve done this past year, but you have to believe me that I’m sorry. You’re right. I wasn’t thinking at all. I wanted to forget everything … everyone … you. I had to forget you because it was easier than knowing you weren’t mine.”
She stops right by the staircase. Her back is to me as she hangs her head down. I can see she’s breathing heavy. I can see how I’ve wrecked her, destroyed my beautiful soulmate with my horrible words and careless actions from this past year. I’m a fucking idiot and I desperately need to fix this.
I move a few steps closer to her. “You are mine, Eva. Now, and I’m yours. Like it should have always been. We can’t let what we did those three years define who we are right now, together. You and me, we’re so much better than our past.” I’m right behind her now, bringing my mouth up to her ear. “Every time we’re together, I see stars, Eva. I believe in goddamn fairytales and magic when you’re with me. I can’t let you leave like this. Please.”
I watch as she takes a deep breath. I’m waiting for her to move, for her to leave me, because I sure as hell don’t deserve for her to stay. But I need her in my arms more than I’ve ever needed her in my arms before. I carefully reach for her hand. She doesn’t push it away, but she doesn’t hold it either.
“Eva,” I whisper her name. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything,” I slowly continue. “Not just tonight, but every little thing …”
She turns and looks at me, tears fill her hopeless eyes. I crash my lips against hers as fast as I can. Her hands come up to the back of my head and she grabs my hair, dropping her key to the ground and pushing me closer to her. I know what she wants, how she just wants to forget about everything we said to each other and instead lose ourselves in another blissful moment. I know what she wants me to do to her, but I pull away. I need her to understand.
“I can’t lose you,” I tell her, pleading with her to realize this. “I can’t lose you, Eva. You’re the only person in this world who makes me feel whole. I’m broken without you. Hearing you pulled over for him … my entire soul panicked at all the possibilities of what could have happened to you. Babe, if I lose you again, I won’t be able to come back from that.”
“I’m so sorry, Bodhi,” she says, and she cries, big awful tears. “I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry! I just want him gone! I don’t want him to ruin what we have! I want us to be happy … I saw him there, and I thought—”
“Are you not happy with us?”
“I am!” she cries out, tears spilling down her cheeks. “That’s the whole point! I’m so happy for the first time in so long, and I’m so scared it’s not going to last! I keep waiting for something
to ruin this because it’s so perfect! And him, your dad, I don’t want him to come in between us!”
I kiss the tears off her cheeks until there aren’t anymore. I then kiss her lips before placing my fingers on her chin. “Do you honestly think I would let anyone come between you and me?”
“No.” Her eyes swell up with tears again.
“I love you so much it fucking hurts, Eva. Right here,” I grab my chest. “It hurts when I’m not with you. It hurts when I am with you because I’m always thinking about when I won’t be with you. I want to be with you every single second. You consume every thought in my mind, all day long. I am never, not thinking about you and I would never let my goddamn father come between you and me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I stopped for him … I’m sorry I almost left—”
“I was never going to let you leave.”
“Oh, yeah?” she mumbles, her hands tighten on my hair.
“No, and if you did, I would have followed you all the way home. I would have stood outside your balcony all night until you talked to me.”
She laughs a little under her breath.
“Eva,” I say, pulling her face towards mine. “I’m so sorry for what I did this last year. I never want you to think … the girls—”
“Bodhi,” she whispers. “You don’t have to explain—”
“I do,” I continue. “I regret every single time—”
She leans in and kisses me. “I forgive you, Bodhi,” she says. “I wasn’t there. I can’t be mad … we don’t have to talk about it anymore.”
“I’ll talk about it every day until I’m certain you understand you were and are the only girl I will ever love.”
She smiles. “I’m certain, Bodhi. I know.”
I bring my lips to hers and say, “If you ever need a reminder,” I kiss her again, “please just let me know.”
She grins, “I absolutely will.”
“I’ve gotta admit,” I laugh, “you’re sexy as hell when you’re pissed off, Eva Calloway.”
She buries her head in the crook of my neck. “That was one hell of a first fight. I hated it, every second.”
“We’re allowed to argue, babe. As long as we make up as fast as possible, just like this time.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, pushing her lips onto mine. “Making up sounds much more enjoyable,” she whispers.
“This dress,” I say. My hands go to her waist and I pick her up. Her arms tighten around my neck as I walk us over to the couch and lay her down. I straddle over her and run my fingers along her perfect collarbone as I stare down at her gorgeous eyes. “What are the odds we can convince your mom to let you stay here with me tonight?”
“Slim to none,” she sighs. “She even gave me a curfew for the first time ever. Eleven.”
“Dammit. I guess we’re going to have to make really good use of our time before you have to go home.” I lower my lips to hers, but she pushes me off.
“Home!” she exclaims. She sits up, almost making me fall off the couch. “Your dad. The day we went to my house from Calvin’s, the day my dad’s office was trashed? He was there the whole time.”
My heart drops. “What do you mean?”
She looks down at her hands and then back up to me. “Your dad was there when we got back from Calvin’s, when we almost had sex in my room, before we saw my dad’s office. He was in my house, when we were. He heard us. He saw us. He told me this.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“He was looking for the letters—”
“Why would he think your dad had them?”
“I’m not sure,” she replies. “Then when we showed up, he must have hid—”
I pull her body into my arms. “I’m sorry, Eva. I’m so sorry.”
“None of that is your fault.”
“But he’s my dad. This is my fault. I can’t believe he was hiding in your house—”
“He’s not your dad. Blood doesn’t make him your dad. And Bodhi … I don’t think he knows about the trust fund. He never mentioned it. He just wants the letters. He thinks Henry has all the money.”
“I’m staying at Calvin’s tonight,” I suddenly announce. “I just decided. There’s no way you’re driving home by yourself.”
She smiles a little, but bites her lip at the same time. “He won’t stop. Until we find those letters. He said that money was owed to him, that it belongs to him.”
“Owed to him? Belongs to him? Well, he can have it. All of it. What Henry has, what’s in that trust fund. As long as I have you. I just need you.”
Her fingers wrap under my chin. “You will always have me.” Then she pulls me down by my shirt.
Date night, pizza and a couch night, was exactly that. I had plans on making it romantic … flowers at the table, actual plates and drinks in glasses, but that didn’t happen. After our fight, and after we were interrupted making up when the pizza arrived, Eva wrapped her legs around mine on the couch, snuggling up right next to me. Her body so close to my own … eating pizza while lying next to her sounded even better than anything I might have planned.
Before we knew it, the night was over. I wish we didn’t have to leave. I wish I could take her right to my room, give her one of my t-shirts to put on, and let her sleep in my arms all night after showing her exactly how sorry I truly am. I wish I didn’t like and respect Mrs. Calloway and not want to see her disappointed in me. Being seventeen, teetering on the edge of adulthood but not being one yet, sucks sometimes.
I texted Calvin earlier to let him know I was staying over. I also texted Coop and Beck to let them know what was going on, and that I’d be driving home with Eva before spending the night at Calvin’s. So, it came as no surprise that they’re both waiting for us at Eva’s Volvo, each with a sleeping bag in the back seat of Coop’s Mustang as we walk out of my house.
“We’re crashing with you tonight,” Coop says to me, and then he points to his car. “I’m driving so I can take your sorry ass back here for surf lessons in the morning.”
Eva and I both start laughing.
“You can join us,” Beck says to Eva. “But no canoodling with Bodhi under the sheets please.”
“I think I’ll pass,” she grins. “But thanks for the offer.”
There are no red pickup trucks on the drive to Eva’s. I didn’t expect him to make an appearance again tonight, although part of me was hoping he would. I would love to look him straight in the face and tell him to stay the hell away from my girlfriend. It amazes me how within a week I went from wanting to know everything I could about my dad, to wishing he would disappear and never be heard of again.
My fingers massage Eva’s neck while she drives. I’m trying not to distract her, but I can’t stop touching her. I already have that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing she won’t be sleeping next to me tonight. The desire to have her with me always is only growing stronger every moment I spend with her. She smiles and leans into my fingers as she pulls into her garage.
“This sucks,” she then sighs, resting her forehead on her steering wheel.
“What sucks, babe?”
She looks up at me. “Saying goodnight to you. I don’t want the night to be over. I don’t want to be without you.” She then looks through her rearview mirror and points behind her to Coop and Beck, who are waiting in her driveway.
I step out of her Volvo while Eva does the same. “You two want to head to Eva’s patio and we’ll walk the dock to Calvin’s?” I call out to the guys. “Can they leave the car here for the night?” I ask her.
“Of course.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” I tell them.
They both say goodnight to Eva and walk away with their sleeping bags tucked under their arms.
Eva laughs. “Bromance. It’s adorable.”
I wrap my hands around her waist. “I can be at your balcony in two minutes flat. If anything weird happens, you’ll let me know, right? Call me? Text
me? Send up a flare?”
“Yes, I will,” she replies, running her fingers along my hairline.
“This dress,” I say, pulling at the bottom, “you look stunning, absolutely stunning … but I can’t think normal with you in it.”
“It’s a shame you never took it off of me tonight,” she says with a straight face.
“Eva!” I exclaim. “Our relationship isn’t based solely on sex … although it’s definitely a huge perk,” I tug on her dress again. “You’re making it extremely difficult to leave you.”
She smirks, pulling my shirt towards her as she kisses me.
“Tomorrow morning,” I say. Her mouth moves to my neck and my knees grow weak. “Coop and I will be up early for surf lessons.” Her lips are now back on mine and I’m finding it very hard to form a coherent sentence with how amazing it feels. “I’ll come say good morning first, okay?”
She smiles a mischievous smile and wraps her arms around my neck. “Text me. I’ll turn the alarm off and unlock my balcony doors. Come in that way.”
I nod my head and look right into her eyes as I question, “We’re okay, right?”
Her lips find mine again. And her tongue. “We’re absolutely okay,” she confirms.
I run my fingers over the top of her dress. “Would your mom notice if you snuck over to Calvin’s? In like an hour? Met me in your old room?”
She laughs. “Is someone regretting not taking my dress off of me tonight?”
I groan. “Maybe. Maybe I want you with me all night too.”
“The feeling is mutual,” she tells me, slipping her hands under my shirt. “But I have two minutes until I break my very first curfew, and I’m almost certain my mom is waiting for me, sitting in the kitchen right through that door,” she points behind her.
I groan again.
“But before surf lessons tomorrow,” she continues, “text me. My balcony, okay?”
I smile. “Counting down the hours,” I reply. I lean in and give her one more kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning.” And then I step out of her garage, watching until the door is completely down before I head to her patio. The guys are sitting on the steps, waiting for me. I motion my head in the dock’s direction, and they both start walking towards me.
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