Eric’s conversation is smooth, and next thing you know you’re at the bar with him while he orders a drink from a bartender who knows his name. You can’t help but giggle at his jokes. He then cuts the conversation short and asks for your number while another beautiful woman seems eager to talk to him. Should you give him your number?
Let’s ask our logical question: “Is this the type of man who will provide and protect?” This is an easy no. A man doesn’t work on his game and hit the nightlife in order to get married and settle down, especially if he’s getting attention from many beautiful women. This man will give you excitement but nothing more, and you won’t be able to hold his attention for long even if you’re beautiful yourself because commitment with one beautiful girl is not what his devil wants.
Now imagine you’re in a crowded café reading a book. An average-looking man who desperately needs a style makeover asks whether he can share your table. As you’re getting ready to leave, he asks what kind of book you’re reading and if you like it. You notice that perspiration is forming on his forehead. You politely respond to him, and he does his best to maintain the conversation, but there are many awkward silences. He introduces himself as Bobby.
You are not immediately attracted to Bobby, but he seems to be a nice man with some redeeming qualities and a stable job. He finally asks for your number. Should you give it to him? To help you decide, realize that men who are not smooth around women find it very time-consuming and laborious to find just one woman to date. They prefer to focus on work, hobbies, sports, or socializing with friends. Because of this, they will avoid pumping and dumping a girl they’re interested in since it takes too much effort to find another girl, causing them to focus more on relationships than casual sex. Therefore, Bobby is a far better candidate than Eric to provide and protect.
On one extreme we have Exciting Eric and on the other we have Boring Bobby. Most of your encounters with men will fall somewhere in between. The problem is that your devil prefers Exciting Eric, who is ideal for one night only. It is likely that there have been many Boring Bobbies in your life who you put in the friend zone for safekeeping until the day when you could no longer get the attention of an Exciting Eric, but the problem with this strategy is that Boring Bobby will eventually find a girl who recognizes his worth.
You may argue that Bobby doesn’t give you “butterflies.” There isn’t any “chemistry.” He doesn’t have any “interesting” hobbies. He’s not “spontaneous” enough. He lacks “confidence.” All these complaints are from your devil, which wants you to find a man who can give you a temporary emotional high. If you insist on chasing emotional highs, it will be impossible for commitment to blossom.
Men will have sex with a girl they don’t care about simply to experience an orgasm or two, but they will only commit to a girl they believe has genuine worth. If you’ve been pumped and dumped, it means you were pursuing men who either weren’t looking to provide and protect or who wanted a relationship with a girl whose value was higher than yours. Remember that you want to find a man who sees your value as so high that he thinks he can’t get any better. From your devil’s perspective, it will be with a man who doesn’t seem like the best you can get. In other words, if your devil likes a man, beware! Your devil will always push you towards someone who will not provide and protect for what should be the rest of your life.
I can guarantee that your devil is in revolt right now. He wants you to reject my advice and focus on gaining the attention of Exciting Eric. “Roosh doesn’t know what he’s talking about! He’s trying to sabotage our efforts! He wants us to have a boring life! And his beard is ugly!” You already know what happens if you trust your devil: failure to create a family. Boring Bobby will treat you well and not feed his own devil by becoming a cheater, and what he lacks in excitement will be more than compensated with a lasting love that is similar to what your grandparents experienced. Consider that by giving you this advice, I’m cockblocking myself, because the vibe I put out is more exciting than boring. If every woman in the world followed what I’m sharing right now, my casual sex life and that of my male followers would suffer greatly, but it would undoubtedly result in healthier relationships for everyone.
Even though I’m spelling out what you need to do, you will find it tough to resist an Exciting Eric in the future. When he sends you a vague text message with typos, you feel a rush of happiness that a man who is obviously liked by so many other women is interested in you. When Boring Bobby sends you a grammatically correct text message that leaves you in no doubt that he likes you, you feel little emotion, but if you want to create a family, and I do believe this is the best outcome for you, I advise you to ignore the text message from Exciting Eric and respond to Boring Bobby. This is what it will take for you to avoid the fate of cat ownership and anti-depressant addiction that is becoming the norm for women whose distorted instincts push them into relationships with men who will never commit to them.
It’s likely that you will interpret Boring Bobby’s behavior as needy, but such a man will be there for you in the long run, unlike an exciting man who is displaying signals that he doesn’t need you at all. Some women will find it impossible to accept that they should chase after Boring Bobby, but if you delay doing so until you’re 35 or older, you’ll find that the Boring Bobbies have disappeared and all that’s left for you is to settle down with Weird Walter.
You experience emotional butterflies with Exciting Eric in part because you grew up in a society that tells women to behave like men and have careers. I know this because I have been to countries such as Ukraine, Russia, and Serbia where women do not have successful careers and Boring Borises clean up with the best women. My exciting clown game in Ukraine produced pitiful responses because there is practically no advantage for girls there to have a short-term fling with a man they can’t imagine providing for them in the long term. Once I had toned down my clown game and become Boring Roosh, where I flaunted my stability instead of my adventurous side, I got more results in the form of mini relationships.
My experiences in more traditional countries tell me that the type of man a woman finds attractive depends more on her environment than on her genetics. If you are materially comfortable and have been programmed by feminism, you will gravitate towards Exciting Eric. If you’re in a resource-poor environment and have not been programmed by feminism, you will gravitate towards Boring Bobby. When all of your survival needs are being met and the culture is feeding you toxic messages, the switch is flicked for you to go from being attracted to Boring Bobby to Exciting Eric. By consciously resisting attention from the Exciting Erics, you can focus on men who are more likely to provide and protect.
You may even have noticed the switch happening to you as you climbed the ladder of financial stability and material comfort. When you were on the lowest rung of the ladder, struggling to make ends meet, you probably sought out men who displayed more provider traits compared to when you earned a good income and didn’t have to worry about necessities. Think back to the boys you were attracted to as a teenager and compare them to the past few men you’ve liked to see if this holds true for you.
Another problem with having a career is that, because of your strong need for material security, it is extremely difficult for you to accept dating a man who makes less money than you. The harder you worked on your career to earn a high income, the fewer men you’ll find suitable for marriage. The same principle holds true for women who refuse to date men that are shorter than them. This isn’t a problem if a woman is 5’3”, but if she’s 6’3”, her pool of prospective men will be tiny. Women who desire Exciting Erics that also earn a high income (over six figures) are the most likely to fail at finding a husband.
Strangely enough, the poorer you are, the bigger the pool of men you’ll find attractive. The easiest way to drastically hurt your chances of finding a husband is to earn a high income, because you’ll subconsciously rule out any man who makes less than you, even if his income
is healthy and his character outstanding.
Knowing why you’re attracted to Exciting Eric won’t immediately stop you from desiring him. This desire will only diminish slowly over time. I used to look for Sexy Stacy with her flirty behavior, revealing clothing, and “come hither” face, but now I seek out Bookworm Betty or Virgin Vicky, who is shy and slightly awkward with understated beauty.
Being attracted to the “librarian type” didn’t happen to me overnight. It was a process that took years after repeated experiences with Sexy Stacys taught me they are not suitable for starting a family. The same will happen to you once you realize that the Exciting Erics of the world are good for fleeting excitement and cheap thrills but little more.
What Men Want
When a man meets a girl for the first time, he instinctively puts her in one of two boxes: orgasm or love. The cues that help a man to decide in which box to put you are based on your appearance, behavior, personality, and how he met you. He will put you in the orgasm box if you flaunt your sexuality, are flirtatious or exceedingly comfortable around men, like to consume alcohol or drugs, frequent venues or dating sites where women congregate for sex, or have a reputation that suggests you’ve been with a lot of men. This type of girl indirectly says: “I am comfortable with sex, I am good at it, and I will not make you wait long before you can access my vagina.”
Even though an orgasm girl has a high notch count, she will try to conceal it by saying things such as, “I’m not that easy,” “A man has to work for this,” or “I’m not that type of girl.” Does a virgin or a girl who’s had few sexual partners have to say these things? No, she lives the lines through her behavior and does not have to make verbal statements to confirm it. Only a promiscuous woman uses manipulation in an attempt to bridge the gap between who she is and who she wants to be seen as.
A man places a girl in the love category if she displays shyness, gentleness, grace, meekness, reliability, honesty, elegance, or inexperience. A man assumes that it will take more time before such a girl sleeps with him. For this reason, some men have given up on her in frustration. Now just because a man knows you’re not promiscuous doesn’t mean he won’t see you as a challenge and go for the pump and dump. He may even pretend to want a relationship with you in order to get sex, but almost all players will give up once it becomes clear you won’t put out within a certain period of time, usually five dates. The love girl serves up a physical obstacle course that only a man who shares her values and wants to be her long-term partner can overcome, while the orgasm girl serves up a verbal obstacle course that a man with even basic game can beat.
The fact that many men will still try to pump and dump a love girl tells you everything you need to know about the modern man. Many men have only sex and money on their minds and are not capable of anything more. The orgasm girl will often succumb to these men because she’s weak and finds sex both validating and pleasurable. The love girl, on the other hand, uses her willpower to reward the man who also has willpower. However, even if you do wait a long time before rewarding Boring Bobby with sex, it doesn’t guarantee he won’t lose interest—it only reduces the odds that he will. This is why in the past, women didn’t have sex with a man before marrying him. Whenever you have sex before marriage, you’re rolling the dice since a man is free to walk away afterwards.
Men usually find it humorous when women say, “It’s so hard to understand men.” Put a woman in front of us and we either want sex or love from her. Mostly it’s sex, because this is all we may currently want out of life, or we think you’re only attractive enough for sex alone. For every 100 men who are interested in you, I estimate that 60 would only want to have sex with you once, 30 would want a friends-with-benefits arrangement, seven would like to be in a monogamous relationship with you but not marry you, and only three would like to marry you. If you display signs of being a Sexy Stacy, an even greater proportion will only want sex, and practically none will be willing to commit to marriage.
If a man has been feeding his devil for a long time, and most men have, he’s not going to want love from a girl who is capable of providing it. You may think a man is stupid for passing up on such a girl, but there are cultural forces at play that encourage a man to seek only sex, which means you will not be able to change a man’s mind if he just wants sex, no matter how virginal and amazing you appear, and giving him sex with the idea that it will make him more attached to you will actually do the opposite, because it will feed his devilish desire to seek out even more fun with other women. The solution is to increase the likelihood of meeting a man who has already decided to feed his angel before he meets you and focus on identifying the three men out of 100 who are prepared to marry you.
I know it’s frustrating that so many men just want to use you for sex, but from the standpoint of men surveying the available women in their local environment, it’s the most logical default option to have. For every woman like you who has traditional leanings, there are thousands who don’t. For every woman who would choose a Boring Bobby over an Exciting Eric, there are hundreds who wouldn’t. For every woman who wants to wait for sex, dozens give it up to men they barely know. For every woman who aches to be a good wife, several would take advantage of the divorce laws to ruin their husbands.
In any society, men are a reflection of the women, since it’s women who ultimately decide whether or not sex happens. When a society degrades and sex becomes no big deal, a cheap act of mutual masturbation rewarding exciting and sexy men, it becomes logical for a man to mimic asshole behavior and only go for sex. In such an environment, the good man looking for a wife is being rather illogical because his strategy is far more likely to fail. Good men will always disappear in cultures polluted with feminism, where women have casual sex for fun while pursuing careers above family.
Another feature of men worth understanding is that many of them go through two life stages. The first is the player stage. It coincides with the peak of a man’s testosterone and can best be described as “I want to have fun.” He wouldn’t know a perfect wife if one knocked him upside the head because his hormones are raging and all he can think about is sex. His devil is firmly in control and he is more satisfied with sleeping around than with experiencing love with one girl. It doesn’t matter how perfect you are or if you’re an ideal girlfriend, because if a man is in this stage, he will be completely unable to recognize your true value. Unless you think a man has reached the end of his player stage, is tired of sowing his royal oats, and is listening more to his angel than his devil, you’ll be disappointed by your efforts to get him to commit.
The second stage men go through is “I’m ready to settle down.” His testosterone level has peaked, his life has become more stable, and he doesn’t experience as much joy when sleeping with random girls. In this stage, if he meets a girl of value, he will make an effort to commit to her, but until he finds her, he may still seek out easy sex. Understand that the male sex drive is far more intense than yours. When a woman is horny, she still remains quite selective about the man she eventually sleeps with, but when a man is horny, he will sleep with just about anything. All men have stories of the “hogs” and “beasts” they have slept with who were way below their standards, and despite these negative memories, they are only one sexual emergency away from doing it again.
To be a man means you are possessed by the monster hanging between your legs. Only through conscious effort, prayer, and understanding of what the monster is doing to me can I begin to resist the kind of sex that doesn’t lead to love. This is tough but possible for men in the settle-down stage, but it’s impossible for men who are still in the player stage.
Beware that the stages don’t always correlate with age! Logically, you’d think that a man between the ages of 18 and 25 will be in the player stage, and that he will ease into the settle-down stage as he gets older, but every man has his own unique clock. In fact, some men are in the settle-down stage when they are young, and then a heartbreak or two puts
them into the player stage where they want to make up for lost time. The more traditional a man’s upbringing, the more likely he will be in the settle-down stage at a younger age, but this probably won’t be the case if he was raised in a big city where casual sex is the norm.
To find out what stage a man is in, simply postpone sex and see how he reacts. A man in the player stage will almost never wait more than five proper dates for sex, while a man who is ready to settle down can wait far longer. Completely ignore what a man says about the things he’s looking for in a woman—most of it is manipulation. It’s too easy to tell a woman what she wants to hear, usually by being vague and mysterious. If a guy says he’s looking for a girlfriend but starts having a temper tantrum when you don’t put out by the second date, you’re dealing with someone in his player stage. I have long advised men that a girl’s actions say more than her words. The same also applies to men.
If I met my dream girl during the fun stage of my life, I would date her longer than a promiscuous girl, but it would just be a matter of time before I started seeking more fun and novelty. If I meet my dream girl today, I would want to impregnate her immediately and take care of the resulting family, but until then, I would still entertain the option of sleeping around if it didn’t require much effort. A lot of heartache for the typical woman comes from thinking that a man who wants to have sex with her can be eased into a relationship, but men can separate the two without difficulty. Women are doing the same, putting out quickly for sexy men they meet on Tinder, often within minutes of meeting face-to-face, but playing harder to get with other men. For a long time, women were able to hide their true nature, but men are becoming wise to the warning signs and red flags, thanks in part to men like me who create internet platforms to share knowledge about women.
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