Nate cleared his throat, turning uncomfortably toward the door. “I’ll…”
Grace slid off the bed. “Nate, stay. I’m leaving. You guys can talk.”
Keeping her head held high, she walked out.
Silence descended. Fuck. I’d hurt her. Again. Goddammit. All I seemed to do was hurt this woman. Her presence her was so unexpected, it threw me. Left me reeling and unprepared. I didn’t know how to deal with her.
Nate glanced back at me. “Grace told us what she knew. Can you tell me what happened to you at that facility?”
I raked a hand roughly through my hair. “It was Darcy,” I mumbled. “She’s working with Aikens, the zoo owner. They harvested blood from me so they could use my DNA for something. She said the information was in my file, something about mixing my ‘rare’ DNA with other animal DNA, and that the result was a super soldier with fast-growing abilities or something. They wanted to keep me there and harvest my DNA for the foreseeable future.”
“Jesus.” Nate shook his head. “Do we still have your file here somewhere?”
I shrugged. “Noah probably has it.”
“I’ll go find out.” Nate spun on his heel, then paused at the doorway and turned back to me. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then quickly snapped it shut.
“Don’t harp on me about Grace,” I warned. “Not right now. It’s none of your fucking business. She has to go. I don’t want her here. I can’t have her here.”
Nate narrowed his eyes at me. “Why?”
The single word left me momentarily confused. Why?
“I know why.” Nate answered his own question. “Because she’s getting too close and you’re running scared. Believe me, I’ve been there. Love can be a scary thing. But you can’t fight it, Tony. You should embrace it. It’s pretty amazing when you let someone in. You forget that I can feel all your turmoil, and frankly, it’s getting annoying. Stop fighting your feelings for her. Just admit that you love her and let her in.”
I scowled, my face heating. Instant denial sprang to my lips. I didn’t have feelings. “Love? You don’t know what you’re talking about. And I’m not having this conversation with you. Not now. Not ever. Stay the fuck out of my business. Stop trying to shove Grace at me. I don’t want her. I don’t need her. And I certainly don’t love her.” I paused to catch my breath.
You’re in denial. Denial. Denial.
I shoved the irritating thought aside.
Nate’s eyes filled with sadness. Then he shook his head and walked out.
His disappointment slammed into me like a sucker punch to the kidney.
Goddammit. I hated disappointing Nate. I’d tried so hard to live up to his standards over the years, doing my best to earn his approval. But now I was fucking up. He was disgusted with me. Well, I couldn’t always do the right thing like he could. I wasn’t as perfect as he was.
I glared at his retreating back, noting when his step suddenly faltered. He nodded at someone, then stepped around whoever it was, and went out.
My heart skidded to a halt.
Grace.
Ah fuck. She was standing in the living room, the hurt in her eyes piercing me in the chest like a sharp-pointed sword.
Shit. She’d probably overhead all of that.
Grace lifted her chin, then spun on her heel and went out, slamming the door behind her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Grace
I’d originally set out with the goal of winning Tony over. Making him mine. But now I had to concede that might be nothing but a foolish dream.
Stop trying to shove Grace at me. I don’t want her. I don’t need her. And I certainly don’t love her.
My heart twisted. I had to get away from here. Away from Tony. I wasn’t normally an irrational or reckless person, but after hearing his parting words to Nate, I couldn’t think beyond my own hurt and shock. I just had the urge to get away from him.
A soft wail of misery escaped my lungs. I ran blindly down the corridor until I collided into a hard chest. I gasped, stumbling back.
An arm came out to steady me.
I hitched in a breath, lifting my gaze.
Get it together, Grace. You’re not twelve. You’re a grown woman.
Ryan eyed me with concern. “You okay, doll? What did that bastard do to you?”
The few times I’d been around Ryan, he’d seemed more like a flirt than anything else, yet his words sounded so genuine, so caring, that I found myself letting down my guard and opening up to him.
“He said he didn’t want me here. That he didn’t need me. That he didn’t love me.” I drew in a ragged breath and tried to get myself under control.
Ryan scowled. He glanced behind him. I followed his gaze, and spied Luke leaning against the door to his apartment, watching me with those intense blue eyes that unsettled me. Luke nodded at me, but he didn’t move. These two dregs seemed inseparable. Wherever one was, the other was always nearby. They must be incredibly close.
Ryan turned back to me. “Tony’s an idiot. He’s got issues, doll. If you were mine, I’d keep you close, and love you all night long, every night.” He winked.
And the flirt was back.
I let out a soft laugh. I couldn’t quite figure Ryan out. Was the flirting real or just a part of his personality? Did he flirt with every woman or the just the ones he found attractive?
Ryan sobered. “Seriously. If you want to understand Tony, then you should talk to Nate. Nate’s his dreg partner, so he knows him better than the rest of us. He understands him. I gave up trying to understand Tony years ago. He acts like women are scary monsters and sex is poison. At least he was smart enough to realize how hot you are.”
Luke snickered from where he still leaned against his apartment door. “The night he met you, we had to practically drag him out of here, he was so reluctant.”
Ryan nodded. “He was. I let him wear one of my shirts and showed him how to style his hair. He was awkward as hell.” He chuckled. Though they were making fun of Tony, their affection came through in their words. They obviously cared about Tony a great deal.
My heart warmed. Knowing what I did about Tony now, I could easily imagine him being uncomfortable about dressing up and styling his hair. He didn’t seem like the type to care one way or another how he looked. I found it endearing. In my opinion, Tony looked hot whether he was dressed up or not. I liked him just the way he was. Wild scruffiness and all. Where Ryan and Luke were all about the charm and obviously aware of their looks and their effect on females, Tony was completely oblivious to his own attractiveness. He was blunt, sometimes rude, and gave off a dark vibe that some people might find frightening or offensive. I liked that about him. I liked a challenge, and Tony was certainly that. I liked that he wasn’t a pushover.
Nate’s words that I’d overheard him saying to Tony came back to me then: She’s getting too close and you’re running scared…
Was that true? Was Tony afraid of the powerful attraction between us? Determination swept through me. If Tony was running scared, how could I convince him to stop running and give us a chance?
“The thing with Tony is, he’s a stubborn, hard-headed asshole who has to figure things out on his own,” Ryan went on, pulling me out of my thoughts. “You can’t manipulate him into doing what you want. He only does what he wants to do. If you push, he’ll just pull away. But at the same time, if you don’t push at least a little, he won’t know to pull back. He needs that challenge, that give-take going on. I know that sounds confusing, but that’s just Tony. C-o-n-f-u-s-i-n-g. I get a headache trying to figure him out. If you want him bad enough, then you’ll have to find a way to win him over. But it won’t be easy, doll. I’m not sure if it’s worth the effort. You could chase him—no, scratch that. Chasing him would be bad. It will only make him run faster. He likes strong, confident women.” He motioned at me. “Like you, obviously. He respects people who stand up to him and don’t back down. So just keep being you and don’t let him wa
lk all over you.”
He was so right. “You’re just full of advice, aren’t you?”
Ryan wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “Actually, I think I just confused myself now.” He chuckled softly.
Luke snickered again, and he and Ryan exchanged some kind of secret glance.
Ryan cleared his throat. “If Tony lets you go, he’s a damn fool. But I’m always available.” He winked.
Luke stepped away from the door, his gaze turning serious. “Ryan’s right. You should talk to Nate. He will have answers about Tony that none of the rest of us do.”
I thanked them and stepped away from Ryan. I’d discovered in the past few minutes that Ryan was a genuinely caring guy. There was a lot more to him than his pretty-boy good looks and his flirtatious manner. He’d sounded almost jealous. Lonely, even.
Maybe he was.
I still wasn’t sure about Luke. He was a smartass. But he also seemed jaded. Harsh. And he had that intensity about him that could be a little disconcerting at times.
I reached Nate’s apartment and knocked on the door. When I glanced back down the corridor, Ryan and Luke were gone.
Alissa answered my knock, then dragged me inside, pulling me in for a fierce hug. “How are you doing?”
I shrugged. “Restless. Angry. Hurt that Tony is pushing me away. He said he needed time to deal with us, and I have no problem with that. But if I’m here, how will he get that space? Maybe I should go somewhere else.”
The door opened behind me and Nate stepped into the apartment. He met my gaze, an apologetic look in his eyes. “I told Alissa that Tony might not react well to your presence here, and that it might be best if you stayed in one of the empty apartments for now. Tracker’s apartment is right across the hall from Tony’s, so if you want to stay there, you’ll still be close to Tony.”
Heat crept into my face. “Okay. Thank you.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be here if Tony wanted me gone. I had no problem giving him space. But if I went home, I would be putting myself in danger.
“Noah and Logan brought over some of your clothes and things. I already put them in Tracker’s apartment.” Alissa said. “Is that okay?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
“They also brought the wanted posters,” Alissa murmured. “They said they found the flyers lying on the sidewalk in front of your apartment.”
My heart pinched, recalling Tony’s flyer had been punctured with a sharp object. “I guess you don’t need my help in catching and taking down the people who hurt Tony anymore.”
Nate glanced at Alissa, then back to me. “True. We can probably toss the flyers now.”
I met Alissa’s gaze, wanting to ask about Tony, but not sure if I should. She nodded encouragingly, as if she knew what I wanted to ask.
I sat on the edge of the couch. “Can you tell me about him?”
Alissa glanced at Nate.
“I can tell you some things,” he began quietly, “but I won’t betray his trust. The more personal things, you’ll have to ask him yourself.”
Alissa sank onto the couch next to me and reached over to squeeze my hand. “She loves him, Nate. Can’t you see that? Do you really think Tony will ever open up to her completely?”
Nate hesitated. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Yes,” he said finally, his gaze turning serious. “I do. Eventually. But it will take time. And a lot of patience on Grace’s part. He’s in denial right now and desperately fighting his feelings. He’s confused and scared. I can feel all his emotions, and it’s starting to wear on me. Sometimes I wish he wasn’t so damn stubborn.”
I glanced up at him in surprise. “You can feel all his emotions?”
Nate nodded. “Has he told you about the dreg bond?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“All dregs share a spiritual, emotional, and physical connection with their partners. This bond goes deeper than any normal human connection. I experience Tony’s emotions and his physical pain to some extent, and he experiences mine. That’s just part of being a dreg.”
I thought back to Ryan and Luke and how they always seemed to be together. Was that why? Because of the strong bond between them? The dreg bond was utterly fascinating. I’d never heard of anything like it before.
“So you can feel Tony’s emotions along with him?”
“To some extent, yes, though not as strongly as he does.”
I hesitated, then asked, “What’s he feeling right now?”
Nate cleared his throat. “Without invading his privacy, I can tell you he’s not doing well right now. He’s a mess.”
What did that mean? I didn’t want to invade Tony’s privacy, but at the same time, I wanted him to open up to me and let me in. Would he ever do that? Would he continually push me away? Did he care for me at all? Or was it nothing more than a physical attraction for him?
“Did he mean what he said earlier? About not wanting me here, not needing me, and not loving me?” My voice cracked and I swallowed hard, forcing the sudden lump from my throat.
Nate glanced at Alissa, then back at me. “I can’t answer that, Grace. Only Tony can.” His eyes filled with sadness. “I know it will be a long struggle convincing him to let you inside, but I urge you not to give up on him. He needs you more than he realizes. Push him when he needs to be pushed, but know to pull back before you push too hard, or you’ll only lose him.”
That was confusing advice, but at the same time, it made sense. “I don’t dare tell him how I feel about him right now because I’m afraid it will only scare him away.”
Nate nodded his agreement. “You’re right. Give him time to adjust to the idea of having you around first. Try to get him to open up to you without being too pushy. And always, always be there for him, Grace. Don’t turn him away. Don’t abandon him. I believe that is his biggest fear. Abandonment. He is highly resistant to letting himself feel any emotions. He believes it makes him weak.” Nate paused, his face filling with worry. “Tony’s my best friend, and I constantly worry about him. I really hope you are serious about him.”
“I am.” But how to convince Tony of that?
Alissa rose from the couch. “Let’s spar, Grace. It’ll be nice to have another girl to knock around rather than all these brutes. It will help you get rid of some of your frustration with Tony.”
I chuckled. “True. You have a sparring ring here?”
“We do,” Nate said. “We have an entire gym. Go ahead and use whatever you want in it.”
“I’ll show you the dreg way,” Alissa offered with a grin.
The dreg way…
What was the dreg way?
“Okay.” I jumped up from the couch. “I’m in the mood to kick some ass.”
Nate chuckled. “Alissa’s no wimp.”
I grinned. “I know she’s not. She’ll be a worthy opponent.”
Alissa grabbed my arm and dragged me into the bedroom. “Let’s get changed. Then I’ll show you the dreg way. It’s going to be fun.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Grace
The dreg way, I discovered, was using physical exertion to rid oneself of negative energy. It worked surprisingly well. I could only imagine what horrible things the dregs had been forced to endure in their lives, so to me it was truly amazing that they’d found a way to heal on their own like this.
Alissa and I had been sparring in the gym for about fifteen minutes, with Nate observing from the sidelines, calling out pointers when necessary, when Tony entered the gym. I faltered, my gaze locking on his, as he strode toward the sparring ring. He was dressed in nothing but a pair of gym shorts, socks, and tennis shoes. His bare chest seemed to glimmer in the light cast out from the ceiling, his muscles rippling with his movements. I stared. Feck. He was incredible. Breathtaking. Gorgeous.
For someone who’d been shot in the leg last night, and who’d lost so much blood he’d nearly died, he sure didn’t act like he was in any kind of pain. Shouldn’t he at least be limping? Or something?
Nate straightened from where he’d been leaning against the ropes, and lifted a hand to halt Tony when Tony would have walked right up into the ring. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Tony held his gaze. “I want to spar with Grace.”
Nate shook his head. “That’s not a good idea. You should be in bed. Did you forget you were shot last night?”
“I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.” He pointed at Alissa. “Get out. It’s my turn.”
Alissa glanced uncertainly at Nate. Nate scowled, slamming his palms into Tony’s chest, and shoved him back. “You’re not ready to spar right now. And if you speak to Alissa like that again, I’ll kick your fucking ass.”
The gym door crashed open. Noah, Logan, Ryan, and Luke all barreled into the room and headed for the ring. Coming to assist? Or just to watch the show?
They went straight for Tony. Logan and Noah each took one of Tony’s arms and tried to drag him away from Nate.
Tony jerked free, yanking his arms from their grasps. “Get the fuck off me.”
Silence descended.
“It’s all right. I’ll spar with him.” If I could help diffuse the situation, I would. Happily. I didn’t want anyone to be hurt. Especially Tony.
Alissa sent me a worried look, then slipped out of the ring, and went to stand beside Nate.
Nate and Tony locked stares. “Watch yourself,” Nate warned him. “We don’t want to have to take you down. But we will if we have to.”
Tony grunted, then shoved Nate aside and strode into the ring.
I held his gaze, not backing down for an instant. He wanted to spar? Fine. I wasn’t a wimp. I could take as good as I gave.
Tony urged me closer, a gleam in his eyes.
“Aren’t you going to wrap your hands?” I asked. Alissa and I had both wrapped our hands to protect our knuckles.
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