by Caitlyn Dare
He grabs my hand and pulls me to the door, mouthing some secret password at the guy standing guard. He lets us past, and the nasty air hits me. Blood, sweat... sex. It all mixes together to create a cloying smell. There’s already a fight in progress, the sounds of fists cracking and men grunting filling the air.
Warren doesn’t make for the main crowd, all gathered like hungry wolves circling for the kill. Instead, he pulls me over to the wall, secreting us away in the shadows. From here, we can just see the makeshift ring. It’s been slightly raised to give everyone a better view.
“Warren, what are we doing here?”
“You’ll see.”’
Fear slides down my spine. There’s only one reason he’d bring me here, and I don’t want to believe it.
Snagging his arm around my waist, Warren backs further into the wall until we’re completely cloaked in darkness. My skin tingles with trepidation, my heart beating so hard I feel a little lightheaded.
He wouldn’t bring me to fight night without good cause.
Without—
Conner.
My world falls away as the boy I love steps into the ring. The crowd goes wild, the noise deafening. I feel Warren grow rigid behind me, his grip on my hip painful.
He dips his ear to my mouth. “Do you still want him, baby?” His hand slides down to the waistband of the skirt he insisted I wear. “Does seeing him like this get you wet?”
Oh God.
This is his grand plan.
Maybe it was his plan all along.
I press my thighs together, trying to keep him out, but it’s futile. His big fingers sink into my panties and find my pussy.
The fight starts, and I’m powerless but to stand there watching the boy I love while the boy I hate finger fucks me into submission. By the time I clench around his digits, coming in intense waves, Warren is hard at my ass. I feel his cock digging into me, grinding against me.
And I know.
He’s not going to let me off this time.
For a second, I think about screaming. I think about letting all the pain and fear and anger rip from my lungs and alerting the crowd to my predicament. But I can’t do it.
I can’t betray Conner and his family.
Warren picks me up like a rag doll and spins me around, pressing me against the dirty wall. His fingers are wild and callous as he pushes and pulls at my skirt, my panties. He grabs my tear-stricken face, forcing me to look at him.
“I want you to watch him, Ken. Watch that fucker bleed while I fuck him right out of you. You think I don’t know he touched you? You think I don’t know that you let him inside this greedy little pussy.” He drags his cock through my wetness. “I know everything. Every single fucking thing. And now it’s time to pay, baby.” He slams inside me, and I swallow a pained cry. I hate that he takes me bare—he always has, but if I’m forced to do this, I’d much prefer there be a barrier between us.
It hurts. It hurts so fucking much as he fucks me with abandon. He grabs my throat, pinning my head in place, giving me no choice but to watch as Conner unleashes on his opponent. A whimper of pain spills from my lips and Warren chuckles darkly, licking the tears from my cheeks.
“Fuck, you taste good,” he grits out, fucking me like he hates me.
And maybe he does.
But his hate is laced with his fucked-up brand of love, the two inexplicably linked.
What I feel for Warren is darker than hate.
And I realize in that moment that this is never going to end. Either Warren will kill me...
Or I’ll have to kill him. If only I could.
The next day at school, I’m numb.
I barely slept a wink, too sore and broken to find peace. Warren didn’t have that problem. The second his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light.
I guess sweet victory did that to a guy.
He’d won.
He’d finally broken me.
The only thing that could have made last night worse was Conner spotting us in the shadows. And even then, I would have found comfort in his eyes as Warren brutalized me against that wall.
He’d made me bleed. When I fled to the bathroom after we got back to the trailer and I scrubbed my skin in the shower, I found cuts and bruises on my thighs and hips.
Totally defeated, I’d slid down the wall until my ass hit the shower tray, insides sore and tender with every movement, and sat there and cried into the stream of water.
I’m exhausted, and I don’t want to be in class.
But it’s better than being at the trailer.
“Kennedy? Oh my God, what happened?” Shelbie rushes over to my side and I burst into tears.
She pulls me into a quiet recess under the stairs. “Did he... hurt you?”
I nod, trying desperately to swallow the fresh waves of tears.
“That piece of shit.”
“Kenny?”
Levi’s voice makes me steel my spine. I quickly dry my eyes, not wanting him to see the truth.
“Oh hey, Levi,” I say.
His eyes narrow. “What happened?”
“I just got upset about what happened on the weekend,” I lie.
They’ll both think I mean the party at Macker’s.
“Shelb, give us a second?”
She glances at me and I nod. “I’ll wait outside class.”
“Thanks,” I sniffle.
As soon as she’s gone, Levi pulls something from his pocket. “This is for you.”
“W-what?”
“Conner—"
“No, Levi,” I blurt out. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can.” He gives me a sympathetic smile. “He needs this, Kenny. Something tells me you do too.”
I clutch the phone to my chest like it’s my lifeline.
“If Warren finds out...”
“You’ll have to make sure he doesn’t.”
I nod.
He’s not going to budge.
But he doesn’t know the truth.
Levi doesn’t know that after last night, Conner will never want to look at me again, let alone want me.
Chapter Fourteen
Conner
Conner: K, talk to me please.
I stare at my most recent message and pray that I'm going to see those bouncing dots telling me she's typing.
But she never does.
I know she's read it. The little green checks taunt me.
But she never fucking replies.
My fist slams down on my desk with such force everything rattles. My pens roll off the edge and the paperwork tucked against the stack of books falls over.
The college crest on the envelope catches my eye.
How the fuck am I meant to even think about my future when everything I want is stuck in the Heights with no signs of a way out?
Swiping the stack of papers, I storm out of my room and dump them in the trash in the kitchen. I've lost track of the dates, so I'm sure most of the deadlines have already passed anyway.
Ellen isn't anywhere to be seen, but there is a tray of freshly made cookies on the side. Stacking the lot in one of my hands, I grab a soda with the other and make my way back upstairs.
Hadley gives me a double take when I meet her halfway up the stairs.
I know I look better than I did a couple of days ago after getting back from that fight, but I'm still a fucking mess. At least my outside now matches the fucked-up inside.
Her eyes scan my face for a second before they drop to the cookies. "Hungry?" she asks, her voice soft and full of sympathy.
I shrug, not really in the mood for a heart to heart.
Sidestepping her, I move to pass, but before I do she reaches out and places her warm hand on my forearm.
"James is going to fix this," she says confidently, her voice full of a positivity I haven’t felt since that night in Colton.
"Is he?" I ask, hating the defeat in my tone. "It's already been too long. He's doing fuck all. He's not even here." I throw up my ar
ms in frustration. Dad is so fucking concerned about Kenny that he's not even in the Bay right now. He and Sarah fucked off a few days ago and we haven’t seen or heard from them since. Some fucking father.
"Yes, Conner. He is. You have to trust him."
"Like I trusted Cole?" I hiss.
"They just did what they thought was best."
"Stop defending them, Hads. They're liars."
"They—" I cut her a seething look and she slams her lips shut. "Shutting us all out won't help, Conner."
I want to argue with her, but I don't have the energy. Instead, I continue up the stairs and allow her to head down to wherever she was going.
Gently stacking my cookies on my desk, careful not to break any, I reach for the cell in the hope she might have replied.
I know I should be expecting it, but my heart still drops when I don't find anything.
Conner: Please, I need to know you're okay.
Nothing.
Conner: I'll turn up there to find out myself if you don't reply.
My heart races as I wait. Surely that will get some response out of her? But this time it goes unread. It’s to be expected—it's not like she can sit with her new cell in her hand, freely replying to my messages—but still, it hurts.
As the week goes on, reminders of what the weekend brings seem to be everywhere I turn.
Sterling Prep apparently holds an annual Valentine's Day dance, and the hallways are an explosion of heart banners and invite posters to attend.
All anyone is talking about is who their date is, what they're wearing, and what kind of car Mommy and Daddy have hired to ensure they arrive in style. Every time Aimee looks at me, I can see the hope in her eyes that I'm going to ask her to be my date, and every time we part and I haven’t so much as mentioned it, I see a little more of the sparkle in her eyes die. I want to feel bad. But I don't. She's even more delusional than I thought if she's really holding out hope of me attending the party, let alone with her.
It's bullshit. All of it.
But as the days pass, I even begin to see some of the same excitement bleeding into my home.
Ellen's cookies suddenly turn into heart shapes, and even Cole knocks on my door to ask my opinion on what he should get for Hadley.
"You're fucking with me, right?" I ask him as he holds out two images.
"No, I can't decide. Red or black."
"It's fucked up that you think it's okay to let me choose Hads’ sex clothes," I mutter, my eyes scanning the sexy lace outfits on the pages before me and imagining what Kenny might look like in them.
"You're right. I should just get both. One for Valentine's Eve and one for the actual day."
"What have you done with my asshole brother who doesn't give a shit about anything or anyone?"
"Got hit by Cupid's arrow, man. You know how it is." The look on my face must say everything, because he winces. "Sorry. I didn't mean—"
"It's fine. Just fuck off out of my room."
He nods and does as I suggest, leaving me with my fucking heart-shaped cookies.
Resting back in my seat, I think about the party that I know will be thrown down on the beach in the Heights tomorrow night.
While the Sterling Prep kids are planning a night full of love and happily ever afters, the Heights kids are preparing for their annual anti-Valentine's Day of debauchery.
I need to be there. I need to see her.
Levi messages every day to assure me that she's okay, but no matter how many times he tells me that, the ball of dread only ever gets bigger in my stomach.
Friday night was fucked up, and I have no reason to believe that it's going to get better anytime soon.
Smoke bellows from the huge bonfire on the sand as I drive toward the beach. Both Levi and Jay told me not to come tonight. They both know what kind of shit is likely to go down, and while I might agree that I probably don't need to witness it with my own eyes, there’s no fucking way I'm sitting at home and waiting for one of their phone calls to come so I can rescue her again.
I want to be right here waiting.
I leave my car in a secluded, tree-covered lane at the other end of the beach. The woodland between here and where the party is being held is the perfect hiding spot.
Checking my cell one more time, I climb from the car, but still, there's nothing from her.
Anger swirls around me like a firestorm that she can't so much as reply with a simple 'I'm okay.' I'm fucking dying inside, not knowing what's happening to her on a daily basis. Doesn't she fucking know that?
By the time I get to a clearing that gives me the perfect view of the beach below, the party is in full swing. Music booms from a huge pair of speakers that have been set up and the bonfire roars high into the inky night sky.
There are kids dancing, drinking, making out everywhere, but for the longest time, I don't see the one person I came for.
I start to think that Levi and Jay were wrong and that she's not going to be here, but about the same time I'm getting fed up with waiting, a couple appears from one of the dunes.
It might be dark and I might not be able to make out any of their features, but I know it's her the second she emerges. Every single cell in my body knows. The tether that has always been between us pulls tightly.
She looks up and scans the party before her, almost as if she feels the same pull to me, but her eyes never find mine.
My heart sinks with the thought that he might have finally broken her, that he's somehow been able to sever the connection the two of us have with his quick fists and even harsher words.
Anger trickles through me as my fists curl with the burning need to go down there and throw his piece of shit, worthless body right in the center of the fire and watch him committed to hell where he belongs.
My cell vibrates in my pocket, but I can't risk pulling it out and alerting anyone to my hiding place.
I know it's not Kennedy; she's standing right in front of me without a cell in her hand. Anyone else is going to have to wait.
She's the only one that matters right now.
Someone hands them both a drink, and, without thinking, Kenny lifts it to her lips and seems to down the lot.
Disbelief floods me that after what happened to her last weekend she'd accept a drink from anyone, that she would trust anyone. But no sooner has she finished that first one then she takes another and proceeds to down that one as well.
My nails dig into my palms as I try to come up with a plan. I need to get her out of there unnoticed. I need her by my side where I know she's safe.
More and more kids descend on the beach. Some disappear into the woods beneath me, mainly for some privacy if the noises that float up to me are anything to go by.
As time goes on things begin to get wilder. Couples—or groups of people—get more adventurous and don't bother venturing into the darkness of the woods before stripping down and getting dirty on the sand. But at no point does Warren release my girl from his grip or allow her out of his sight.
It's fucking infuriating and starts to make me think I'm going have to take a few more risks than I wanted to get to her.
Thankfully, after another thirty minutes, I watch as some topless girl stalks her way up to Warren and presses her quite obviously fake tits against his chest.
He's off his face, that much is clear from here, so I know it's only a matter of time before he's going to end up out cold or so distracted that he won't miss Kenny being by his side. Or at least, that's what I'm hoping.
It seems like an eternity as I watch Warren attempt to get Kenny to play with him and his new slut, but despite the number of drinks I've seen her put away, she resists even as he drags both of them back into the shadows not that far from me.
Sensing my opportunity, I make my way down to them. Twigs snap under my feet and leaves rustle, but I just have to hope he's too far gone to notice any intrusion.
When I get to them, I have to fight the bile rising in my throat at the sight of Warren w
ith his tongue down the random girl's throat while Kenny stands there looking anywhere but at them.
Silently, I step up behind her, wrap my hand around her mouth and my arm around her waist, and yank her back into the darkness.
I run as fast as I can with her thrashing about in my arms until I'm confident that we're far enough away from that motherfucker that he won't be able to hear her if she screams.
Coming to a stop, I spin her around and press her up against a tree.
Her eyes are wide with fear, but the second they lock onto mine they soften.
"Conner," she breathes, her voice cracking with relief.
But I fear that with the storm raging inside me, that relief might be a little misplaced.
Chapter Fifteen
Kennedy
“Conner,” I breathe again.
He’s here.
He’s really here.
Everything is a little blurry, the liquor in my veins numbing me from the events of the night so far.
The anti-Valentine’s Day bonfire takes place on a quiet stretch of the beach. It’s always a big event in the Heights. Anyone who’s anyone comes down here to get high or drunk or both, and to find someone to lose themselves in for the night.
“Warren—"
“Don’t say that fucker’s name,” Conner growls, clenching his fist.
“Y-you’re here.”
“Shit, K, how much did you have to drink?”
Not nearly enough, I think.
“You shouldn’t be here, Conner.”
Anger flashes in his eyes as his hands go to the wide tree trunk behind my back. He leans down, putting us face to face. “I’ve been trying to contact you all fucking week.”
“I-I know.” My eyes drop to the ground, but Conner grips my chin, lifting my face back to his.
“Talk to me, K. Please.” His eyes shutter as he inhales a ragged breath. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the air and I wince, wondering if it’s Warren and the girl he dragged out here with us, or one of the many other couples that disappeared into the darkness over the course of the night.