21
Sebastian
As the jet streaked through the clouds, Sebastian’s thoughts turned equally dark as the inky night sky. The silence that surrounded him, broken only by the hum of the plane’s engines, gave him too much time to think. He got caught up in the swirling maelstrom of emotion raging through him.
All his life, control had been essential to Sebastian. He craved it. It was vital to him. But suddenly he felt out of control, adrift in chaos. His orderly life was thrown into complete disarray, and it scared the hell out of him, laid him wide open. Made him vulnerable. An emotion he’d never been comfortable with.
His father’s health had been failing for some time already, but he’d pushed thoughts of his father dying to the back of his mind. He wasn’t ready to head up the family business yet. Yes, strictly speaking, he’d been doing it for the past couple of years as his father had become sicker and frailer, but he was always just a phone call away.
His mother’s call had brought home to him how little time was left. He wasn’t ready. Not to assume the reins, and definitely not to say goodbye. He and his father didn’t always have an easy relationship. His brother’s death had changed the man at a deep level. Still, he loved his father and couldn’t imagine a world without him in it.
And then there was Serena. Beautiful, vibrant, big-hearted Serena. He hadn’t been ready for her. She’d come into his life so unexpectedly. And now that she was in it, he was unprepared for all the emotion she stirred up.
Sebastian felt like he was always on the back foot when it came to Serena. Like he had no control over what he felt, how he reacted to her. He was all about the order, the control, yet when he was with her, all semblance of that legendary Marino control went up in smoke.
Take tonight. He’d asked her to spend the night. He never invited a woman to spend the night in his bed. He’d always gone to great lengths to either spend the night in theirs, or send her home well before the sun came up. He felt out of his depth.
The feeling left him restless and on edge.
There was something about her that made him want things that he’d not wanted in the longest time. When he’d discovered his ex-fiancé was nothing more than a liar and a cheat, he kicked her out. After that, he’d sworn never to give another woman that kind of power over him again. Yet here he was, vulnerable and feeling wildly out of control of his emotions.
Despite the dire circumstances of his father’s health, he couldn’t help but be grateful for this chance to put some distance between them. The opportunity to gain some perspective.
Still, he felt gutted that he’d not said goodbye before leaving, not had an opportunity to hold her one more time. And, if he were being honest, he was disappointed that he wouldn’t get to spend the special evening he’d been planning, with her. This see-saw of emotion irritated him. He rubbed frustratedly at eyes gritty with tiredness.
The captain’s voice broke through his reverie, informing him they’d be landing shortly. Shaking off his unhappy thoughts, he strapped himself in. Thoughts of Serena would have to wait. His dying father and his family needed him now.
22
Serena
Where the hell had the bloody man disappeared to? Serena had been searching for Sebastian for at least thirty minutes, and the man was proving impossible to find. In exasperation, she reached into her clutch for her cell phone. Exasperation turned to full-blown irritation when she discovered the damn thing had died.
She scanned the room, yet again, in search of either Sabastian or Ginny, who seemed to have disappeared too. Thankfully, she finally spotted Ginny. Hurrying over to where her assistant stood, Serena huffed, “Where have you been? I’ve been searching for you for the last half hour.”
The smile on Ginny’s face slipped at Serena’s words. “Sorry, Serena. I was helping out in the crèche area. What’s up? You seem a bit stressed.”
“Have you seen Sebastian recently?”
“No, now that you mention it. Not since before I went to help out with the babies. Why? Is there a problem?”
“Not a problem, per se. I just can’t find the dratted man. It’s like he’s vanished into thin air.”
“Have you tried his cell phone?”
“I can’t.” Serena gave a sheepish look.
“Why ca— You did it again, didn’t you? The battery’s gone flat again, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Sighing, she could only shake her head. “You know how bad I am with this thing. I don’t know why I’m so bad at keeping it charged. Thank god, it only goes flat in the evenings. I’d be doomed if it kept running flat during the day.”
“All right, hang tight. I’ll just go get mine, and you can give him a call.”
“Thanks, Ginny. You’re the best. You know that, right?”
“Damn right, I’m the best.” Ginny snorted out a laugh as she went off to retrieve her phone.
Cell phone in hand, Serena saw Ginny making her way back across the room before being stopped by a young woman holding a small boy’s hand. She saw Ginny point her way. Then they all started in Serena’s direction.
“Serena, this is Carissa Young. Her husband was a traffic officer lost in the line of duty. She just wanted to thank Sebastian for this evening.”
Serena smiled at the woman. “Ms Young, it’s lovely to meet you. Unfortunately, Mr Marino had to leave unexpectedly, but I’ll be happy to pass on your thanks.”
“Thank you so much. You guys really did a wonderful job this year. These events are usually lovely. This one, though? It’s the best one by far. Mr Marino does such a wonderful job of supporting the foundation. We wouldn’t be able to do the work we do without him. The foundation will send a formal letter of thanks. I just wanted to thank him personally.”
“I’ll be sure to give him your message.”
The woman took her leave, and Ginny turned to face Serena, holding the phone out to her.
“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to find somewhere a little quieter.”
“No problem. I’ve got this.”
Serena left the ballroom, heading to a small courtyard that seemed deserted. She dialled the number Sebastian had written on the back of his business card. Putting the phone to her ear, she listened to it dialling. It went directly to voicemail. Trying again yielded the same results.
Her blood boiled. How could the man just up and leave his own function without so much as a word to her? Not knowing what else to do, she tried one more time. When her call went directly to voicemail for the third time, she gave up.
Serena returned to the ballroom, her posture stiff with anger. Ginny never said a word as she handed the phone back. But her thoughts were stamped on her expressive face.
“I can’t get hold of Sebastian,” Serena bit out through gritted teeth. Checking her watch, she continued, “People are starting to leave now, so I guess we should just wrap things up here and get this disaster cleared up in the morning.”
Ginny nodded, gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and went off to do the necessary. Serena ran an assessing eye over the room, trying to decide where best to start. She and Ginny worked, like the team they were, to get everything squared away. Finally, the last of the guests were gone, the room turned back over to the hotel, and they could call it a day.
Serena hugged Ginny goodbye before heading to her car. All she wanted was to get home. The anger had begun to dissipate, and all that was left was hurt. She’d seen how aloof and standoffish he’d been the afternoon in his hotel room, but he’d been so different since then she’d chalked it down to a once-off occasion.
Apparently, she’d been wrong. It seemed it was how he operated. She gritted her teeth against the humiliation as an old saying her grandmother used flitted through her head. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Yeah, Grandma. I’m definitely the fool this time.
Much as she tried to fight them back, tears began to track down her cheeks. Thankful home was just a short drive away, Serena drove fa
ster. She was desperate to get inside and hide herself away from the world.
Showered, makeup free, tired, and hurting, Serena crawled into bed. The tears continued to fall. The ache in her chest seeming to grow.
She’d remembered to plug her phone in when she’d gotten home. Turning it on, she saw a number of missed calls from Sebastian’s number, but not one message. Not any the wiser as to where Sebastian had disappeared to, Serena curled into a ball and allowed the tears to flow.
She’d be strong tomorrow. Tonight, she would allow her heart to break a little for the dream she’d been building that was crumbling to dust right before her eyes.
23
Sebastian
Sebastian sat brooding into his glass of cognac. He’d been back in Italy for what felt like forever, and he’d yet to gather the courage to speak to Serena. He’d dialled her number so many times only to hang up before the call connected. He knew he was being a coward, but he didn’t know how to explain his silence now that he’d allowed so much time to go by.
Sighing deeply, he wondered how best to fix this clusterfuck he’d created. His father’s passing had given him perspective. He realised now that he’d been falling in love with Serena. But now, having allowed so much time to go by without a word from him, he wasn’t even sure he could get Serena to talk to him anymore.
Hearing a sound behind him, he turned to see his mother enter the room. His heart ached to see the heartbreak and weariness that had etched itself into his mother’s beautiful face. She’d always been youthful for her age, and he could see the toll his father’s death had taken on her.
His parents’ love had been deep and mutual. Despite his father’s bitterness at losing his eldest child, he had loved deeply and passionately, and family had meant everything to him. Sebastian had always wanted a love like his parents had shared for himself. And he’d thought he’d found it with his ex-fiancée. Almost too late, he’d discovered that it had, in fact, been money that motivated Gabrielle all along. His father’s business partner’s bank account more to her liking than Sebastian’s heart, he’d sworn off love. After that, he’d dated only women who knew the score – no emotions, no strings. At first, they were willing to play by his rules, but it didn’t take long for them to show their true intent in the end. It had only strengthened his belief that all women wanted from a man was money.
Then he’d met Serena. Beautiful, big-hearted, passionate Serena. She’d forced him to take a step back and re-evaluate what he’d come to believe. He’d never met anyone quite like her. She was absolutely exquisite on the outside, but the thing that made her stand out far above all others was the beauty reflected on the inside, her gentle spirit. When he was with her, he could be himself. There was no need for pretences. And it was that, exactly that, that made Sebastian feel most vulnerable. She got to see what so few other people saw – the true Sebastian, no guards up.
The sound of his mother speaking to him pulled him from his reverie. Getting up, he crossed the room to pour a glass of madeira. His mother had a fondness for the aperitif in the evenings. She was going to need tonight’s one. It was time he let his mother know he’d decided to return to South Africa, and no time was better than the present. He’d come to realise how much he wanted — no, needed — Serena in his life. He just hoped he wasn’t too late.
He wasn’t above begging, if it came down to it. He’d had enough time and distance to see more clearly what he’d been feeling. To realise the enormity of what he’d been feeling was what had him feeling so out of control.
He could only pray that Serena still felt something for him, no matter how small.
24
Serena
The sound of the doorbell shattered the silence as Serena sat working in her office, the sound completely out of place. She rarely received unexpected visitors at home. She couldn’t think who it could possibly be. Especially late at night. Getting up from her desk she headed down the passage just as the doorbell pealed again.
“All right. Keep your hair on. I’m coming,” she muttered under her breath. Aloud, she said. “Just a minute.”
Looking through the security peephole to see who it was, Serena’s body went stiff with shock. Surely, she couldn’t be seeing right. The last person she’d expected to find on her doorstep in the middle of the night was Sebastian Marino. It had been so long since she’d heard anything from him she was sure it was just a figment of her imagination.
Being contrary, she called out, “Who’s there?”
“Open the door, Serena.”
“It’s late, Sebastian. What do you want?”
“Serena, I’m not asking again. Open the door.”
“All right, all right. Just give me a second.”
She disarmed the alarm and unlocked the security locks on the front door before opening it. Getting her first look at him after the long weeks he’d been gone was like a sucker punch to the gut. Serena tightened her hold on the door as she just stood staring at him.
For a long time after he’d seemingly disappeared from her life, she’d dreamed of just such a moment. But now he was here, she had no idea how to act, what to say. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to see him after the way he’d treated her.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” The silky tone of Sebastian voice pulled her out of her reverie, and her gaze snapped to his. His sarcastic tone had her spine stiffening, and the anger she’d finally been able to beat back flared to life again.
“To be honest, Sebastian, I’m not sure I want to.”
The shocked expression on his face clearly showed he hadn’t been expecting her rather rude response. But surely, he couldn’t possibly have imagined he’d be welcome after what he’d done? Could he? She didn’t believe even he was that dense.
“Please, Serena. Just give me a moment of your time. Let me explain.”
“What’s there to explain? You walked away from me. And our—”
Serena’s eyes widened in horror as she realised what she had been about to reveal. Instinctively, she lifted a protective hand to her stomach. Sebastian’s eyes followed the movement of her hand, and too late it dawned on her what she’d done. Damn it! She watched as the colour drained out of his face. Slowly, his eyes came back to hers.
“It seems we have much to speak of. Much more than I thought.” Sebastian took a purposeful step forward, forcing Serena back, and in so doing allowing him access to her home. But she was too distraught to stop him.
Oh god! What have I done? She wished she could rewind the last minute of time and undo the damage, but since she couldn’t, she straightened her spine and turned to follow Sebastian into her living room.
“Is there something that you want to tell me, cara?”
“Why don’t we start with you, Sebastian? How about we start with where you’ve been the last weeks? Or maybe why you disappeared without so much as a goodbye? How about we start there, hmm?”
25
Sebastian
Sebastian regarded Serena with a stormy expression on his handsome face. Mio Dio. He had known it wouldn’t be easy to remedy the situation he’d created, but he’d not thought that Serena would be quite so bitter about the silence during his absence. Normally able to easily express himself, Sebastian found himself quite tongue-tied. Where to start? There were so many thoughts tumbling around in his brain he couldn’t think. He simply stared at her for long moments, trying to organise his thoughts.
The impatient tapping of a small foot caught his attention, and he couldn’t help but smile, despite the uncomfortable atmosphere. His Serena, always so impatient.
“I’m so glad you find this all so amusing. Personally, I see absolutely nothing amusing about this.”
“Sarcasm does not become you, bella.”
Sebastian watched as a blush stained her cheeks. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
“For heaven’s sake, Sebastian. Get on with it or get out. It’s late, and I have work in the morning.”
“I’m sorry.” He hadn’t intended to just blurt it out like that, but now that it was out in the open, Sebastian suddenly felt lighter than he had in months.
Serena quirked an eyebrow. “That’s it? You’re sorry?” She paused, apparently waiting for him to continue.
His brain stalled. He stood staring at her while internally debating where to start. Wherever he intended to start was taking too long for her though, as she continued, “I see. And that’s meant to make it all better? For heaven’s sake, Sebastian. I need more than just ‘I’m sorry.’ What happened? I don’t understand. I thought we were building a connection, that something was growing between us. Then you simply disappeared. What am I supposed to do with that?”
With another sigh, Sebastian replied, “I know. It’s that very connection that we were building that had me running scared, Serena. That’s what I’m apologising for. I’m sorry for walking away at the wrong moment. I’m sorry for never contacting you. I’m sorry for being too much of a coward!”
For a moment, Serena remained silent. Then she simply said, “Explain?”
Sighing deeply, Sebastian nodded. He’d known this moment was coming, he just hadn’t factored in how difficult it would be. Taking a seat on the couch, he pulled Serena down beside him.
“The night of the gala, I received a call from home. My sister was calling to tell me that our father was not much longer for this world, and I needed to come straight away. I came looking for you, but no one seemed to know where you were.”
When he paused, Serena merely nodded at him to continue.
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