Head in a Haymow

by Chris Seaton

  HEAD

  in a

  Haymow

  Dairyland Murders Book 1

  by Chris Seaton Copyright 2010

  Smashwords Edition

  Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author and may not be reproduced, copied, or distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy and find other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

  Acknowledgments and Dedications:

  Thank you to Debbie and Elaine for their editing efforts. I dedicate this book and series to all the strong, opinionated, and funny women I've had the privilege to know

  (and all the handsome oblivious men they inevitably put up with).

  Please Note:

  All the characters in this novel are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual person or persons is completely coincidental. Furthermore, all representations of government officials and offices are fabricated by the author and bear no resemblance whatsoever to actual public employees, their duties, or their places of employment. No offense or malice of any kind was intended in regards to said persons.

  Chapter 1

  “Somethin’ don’t smell right”.

  That was the exact thought that went through Jarvis Lutz' mind when he walked past the south end of the barn that morning.

  Not that there was anything unusual about smells emanating from his barn; it was a barn after all. It was full of all sorts of odors. He ticked a list of them off in his head as he sniffed around for the odd one out.

  Into the milk house: “It’s not sour milk, not mold, or mildew.” Into the calf pen: “Nothin’ trampled in here, just the same ol' calf shit.” Up and down the walkway of the dairy barn: “It’s not cat shit, not dog shit. Nothin’ puked up or pissed out wrong.”

  When he went to take a shortcut through the feed area, that’s when he figured it out but not without help.

  Over his head was the chute for the haymow, and along with a pungent renewal of the “incorrect” smell came a cacophony of buzzing flies.

  That duo of smell and sound tripped a trigger in a forgotten part of his brain. It brought with it an instantaneous response of horror and fright.

  Jarvis swallowed hard as he left the barn. He viciously cursed himself into a very bad mood by the time he stomped his way to the tractor waiting in the driveway.

  He took his mood out on the unwitting teenager texting in the driver’s seat. “God Damn it, Kevin! Stop phone fuckin’ your girlfriend and call the sheriff! Now, boy!”

  Never in all her life did Darlene ever have to wait to cross the road to get her mail, but there’s a first time for everything and what an exciting wait it was.

  She quickly trotted back down the dirt driveway as fast as her old gardening bra would allow. She waved and hollered to Bernice out in the strawberries. “Did ya see 'em? Ha? Oh My Lord, it was like convoy!”

  Bernice stood up and stretched her aching back. Her knees were stained in bruising shades of red, brown, and green. She gave Darlene a look of bizarre amusement. “I swear Darlene, you keep runnin’ like that and you’re liable to knock yourself out with your own tits.”

  “Never mind my tits,” Darlene returned crankily. “Did you see 'em or not?”

  Bernice, clearly unimpressed, calmly picked up her recycled ice cream bucket. She turned her head toward the dusty apparitions hanging in the air in front of their driveway. “Nope, didn’t see 'em. Who was it? Publisher’s Clearing House?”

  “You know, you’re such a spoil-sport I shouldn’t even tell you.”

  Bernice squinted her eyes at Darlene and chuckled with good humor. “Okay, I give. Who drove by?”

  Darlene pouted, but relented anyway. “News vans.”

  Her curiosity piqued, Bernice started walking in the direction of the driveway. “News vans? Like TV news vans?”

  Now that she held her audience in fixed attention, Darlene performed with relish. “KYBT, INEWS, Channel 12, and Action 18, all from the Cities and all roaring by like a bat outta hell to get to the German Farm.”

  As they approached the edge of the driveway, Bernice’s healthy skepticism reared its logical head. “You know, they could just be lost. One van follows the wrong, screwed up GPS, and they’re all lost following him.”

  Darlene’s excited face flopped like a bad soufflé. “Don’t you dare ruin this for me, Bernice. Just once before I die, I want to be part of something exciting.”

  Bernice frowned at her aunt. “If the news vans are all the way out here for a actual story, it's probably not a happy one.”

  “You don’t know any more than I do, Miss Smarty Pants, so there.”

  It was then that the speed of sound caught up to the speed of the ominous black station wagon as it swished past. It spit dust all over them and Bernice’s freshly picked strawberries. The long obvious sticker identifying the vehicle as belonging to the “Medical Examiner” stared back at them from the top of its trunk.

  They watched the car retreat quickly down the road past the orchards, woods, and fields that made up their farm, Lollygagger’s Acres. It turned into the wooded driveway that led to the German Farm. Bernice felt a bad feeling creeping on.

  “Well Darlene, I guess we're both right.”

  It seemed like a good idea at the time. However, as they threaded along the century-old cow path that ran between their two farms, Bernice was having misgivings. She wasn’t so sure she wanted to find out who was dead at the end of their journey at least not first hand. Nevertheless, Darlene was persistent despite the fact that she whined the whole way there.

  “We would have been there in no time if we’d just drove the damn truck down. But no! You need to take the scenic route through Tick Paradise.”

  “Jarvis is gonna have enough cars in his yard without us parking another one,” Bernice argued back.

  “Well! If I get Lyme Disease and end up debilitated in my bed, you will not hear the end of it.”

  Bernice’s patience was reaching a breaking point. “So the only difference between then and now is you’d be bed ridden?”

  Darlene gave her niece a venomous scowl and quickened her pace to be a good three steps ahead of Bernice. She threw a parting comment behind her as she went. “I wouldn’t want to be seen walking in with you anyway. You look like hell.”

  Bernice sighed as she guiltily watched her aunt’s generous backside sway ahead of her with its impertinence. She glanced down at herself. Her brown cargo pants were still stained in strawberries. It adequately complimented her men’s oversized t-shirt and ancient Birkenstocks. Her unmade face and blonde ponytail completed the ensemble. “It’s probably just cops and reporters. No one in that crowd I care to impress.”

  “Well, if lackluster was the look you were after, I believe you succeeded.” With that Darlene broke into the clearing and disappeared around the corner, but she didn't get far.

  As Bernice went to follow, she almost knocked Darlene over. Bernice was waiting for a biting jibe in response but received none. Darlene was in obvious shock.

  From their position in the clearing they were still a good hundred yards away, but they were close enough to see the circus unfolding before them.

  The four vans that had passed their place earlier had been joined by two more from sister stations up in Duluth and down in Eau Claire. They were all parked in succession along the dusty driveway like a caravan. Several official looking sedans were cluttered amongst them, representing both county and state. The lone station wagon was seated at the head of the armada. It was near the barn that was completely encased in yellow barrier tape.

  A cluster of cops inhabited the front law
n and gawked at the reporters. The only cast members missing from this performance were the residents of the farm. That was what disturbed Bernice more than anything.

  “Holy Crap!” Darlene’s voice was pitched like she was witnessing lions devouring a carcass on the Serengeti.

  Bernice forced herself to move forward into the carnage. “Come on, Miss Glennwood, time for your close up.”

  At Bernice’s insistence they started toward the house. “We’re here as neighbors not looky-loos,” she grumbled obstinately. “Best to separate ourselves from the cannibals.”

  Suddenly a call was sent in their direction. It came from one of the news vans.

  “Bernice?”

  Bernice ducked her head in defeat and grumbled, “Shit.”

  She was going to keep walking. If they kept walking, maybe that person would think they were mistaken. Unfortunately, Darlene had other plans.

  “Look! It’s your old friend, Cameron, by the Action 18 van.” Darlene stopped and waved at him, hollering, “Woo Hoo! Hi, Cameron!”

  Darlene began to walk in the direction of the vans, smoothing her hair and straightening her top as she went. She shot a look back at a very disgruntled Bernice, scolding, “No need to be rude, dear. Cannibals need love too.”

  To call Cameron Sparks a veteran camera-man was a gross understatement. In Twin Cities media circles he was a freakin’ legend. He had crawled up the ranks for the last thirty-plus years with heavy equipment on his shoulder and a lens constantly affixed to his retina.

  His linebacker figure and the fact that he was Black had always kept him working in the background when he was younger. Even as times changed, he stayed there because that was the way he liked it.

  Now Cameron was supervising interns. Clipboards and netbooks were a lot lighter, but Bernice noticed he still carried himself leaning slightly to one side. She guessed he always would.

  Cameron left his leaning position at the back of the van and walked out into the field to join them. He put out a welcoming hand to Darlene. “Well, if it isn't Darlene Glenwood?”

  Darlene gushed at the remembrance of her name. “Oh Cameron, how could I forget you?” She accepted his hand.

  Instead of shaking it, he gallantly brought it to his lips and kissed her knuckles, winking at her mischievously.

  As Darlene giggled like a teenager, Bernice made her way into the area.

  Cameron watched Bernice warily. His greeting was friendly but cautious. “Hey, Kid. Still playing Caddy Woodlawn, I see.”

  “Still trying to make out with my aunt, I see.”

  Cameron sent a set of bedroom eyes at the still simpering Darlene. “What can I say? She’s like forbidden fruit.”

  Bernice let out an exasperated breath and looked beyond him through the cracks of the van line. The other side of the driveway faced west out of the morning sun. There were rolling fields and grazing dairy cows in the background.

  A couple of well groomed reporters were taking advantage of the serene backdrop. They juxtaposed it to whatever gruesome tale they were weaving to everyone within a 300 mile radius. The other reporters had apparently finished their journalistic duty. They were taking a moment to check their phones, smoke, or drink their coffee, looking properly bored in the process.

  “You miss it, don’t you?”

  Bernice gave Cameron a wry grin. “Like crack.”

  Cameron chuckled and pulled Bernice into a reluctant bear hug. “Same old cantankerous Bernice.”

  She took advantage of the close proximity and sucker punched him in his doughy physique. He released her, grunting but grinning.

  Darlene broke the reunion with a very obvious question. “So, you gonna tell us what’s goin’ on?”

  Cameron's humor evaporated once he realized his old friends were actually these people’s neighbors. “Shit. You don’t know, do you?”

  Bernice pointed in the direction of their farm. “You guys passed by our place down the road there, quickly followed by the ME. That’s all we know. What you got?”

  Cameron could see the dread building in Bernice’s eyes. “Jesus, Honey, all we know is what we picked up on the scanners this morning. Someone reported a dead body in that barn. The local PD hasn’t said or done shit to tell us otherwise.”

  Bernice nodded to him. She was clearly disappointed. She spoke to no one in particular. “Well, I’m going up to the house, see if anyone needs anything.”

  She looked back at Cameron. They shared a moment of regret neither thought would be repeated again. She gave him a polite smirk and waved before she turned and walked away.

  Cameron echoed what Darlene was thinking. “She’s never going to get over it, is she?”

  Darlene reluctantly followed. She turned and looked at Cameron. Her flirtatious attitude was replaced with sadness. “Probably not.”

  Bernice didn’t get as far as she wanted. A Wisconsin State Trooper met her about ten feet from the house, demanding, “Ma'am, I’m gonna need to see some ID.”

  Bernice made a very unflattering face. “I don’t have a press pass if that’s what you’re asking for,” she replied. “I’m a neighbor.”

  The trooper held his ground. “Immediate family members only. Please leave this area.”

  Darlene came up behind Bernice, scanning the windows of the house. She grinned and pointed. “Hey, Marsha’s waving from the kitchen window, and she doesn’t look one bit upset.” Darlene frantically waved back, grinning like she just won the lottery.

  The trooper was not pleased. “Ma'am, please don’t make a scene. This is a very serious situation. I need you vacate this area immediately or I will have to restrain you.”

  Marsha Lutz popped out onto the porch. As she wiped her well-worn hands on her apron, she made her way down the steps. She didn’t look one bit upset. She looked relieved. “Thank the Lord for friendly faces at last.”

  The trooper shot a stern glare over his shoulder. “Ma'am, this is a crime scene, not a social engagement."

  Marsha admonished him with the smooth but stern tone that she reserved for naughty children and patronizing men. “This is my property and these are my friends. They belong here a damn sight more than you do, so kindly step aside.”

  The trooper gave them all one last officially hostile perusal before he pivoted on his heal and quickly removed himself.

  Marsha watched him leave as she grumbled with disgust, “Those damn flatfoots trampling my lawn and spreading cigarette butts hither and yon, that’s the real crime scene, you ask me.”

  Bernice couldn’t take it anymore. She grabbed Marsha’s arm. “Is everyone okay?”

  Marsha peered over at Bernice with bemusement. “Well yah, except poor Jarvis of course.” The realization of her comment hit home in Bernice’s reaction of alarm. She immediately corrected herself. “Oh no, he’s fine too. We’re all fine. It’s just…he’s the one that found it.”

  Darlene chimed in with undisguised excitement. “You mean the body?”

  “Body? Oh no. It wasn’t a whole body. Just the head.”

  Chapter 2

  Bernice couldn’t make herself sit still for all the tea in China. That seemed to be what Marsha so graciously set out, along with delicate butter cookies, club crackers, and three kinds of cheeses. She observed that the immaculate kitchen had recently been remodeled. The trendy walnut cabinets and mushroom quartz counter tops gave it more of a showroom feel than the old-fashioned country kitchen it had replaced.

  Bernice bobbed her teabag in untouched hot water while she paced in front of the window and absorbed the conversation going on at the kitchen table.

  “I wanted to call you the second I found out what was up,” Marsha apologized, “but those cops said we couldn't talk to anyone until they were done. It’s just so odd. One minute we’re just minding our own business, and then all holy hell breaks loose.”

  A small boy wandered into the kitchen and grabbed for a cookie. Marsha immediately swatted his hand. The cookie broke in half on impact with
the plate. “That’s for company, Michael,” she admonished. “Lunch’ll be ready in an hour.”

  Michael stood and pouted. Marsha swatted his butt. He gaped at her in surprise.

  “Go watch the movie with Kevin or you'll get another one.”

  Michael folded his arms defiantly but only after moving out of spanking range. “The movie’s boring,” he whined. “I want to go see the head.”

  “Michael, you set one toe out of this house and I will tell all those policemen that you stole that gum from the store and they will throw you in jail and I won’t come to get you back out.”

  Michael disappeared from the kitchen like he was never there.

  Marsha glanced over in the direction of his disappearance. “That boy’d conduct the autopsy if I let him,” she remarked. “I blame it on all the TV his mother let him watch.” Marsha said “mother” with a slight hint of bitterness.

  Darlene empathized with her. “It must be hard to be a parent again.”

  Marsha dutifully accepted her role as martyr with a heavy sigh. “Well, someone needs to step up. This farm is the only home these kids got now. Better here than getting into drugs and gangs in the Cities with her parents.”

  Marsha glanced over at Bernice and mumbled a poor excuse for an apology. “No offense, Bernice.”

  Bernice waved it off. Being a recent transplant the Metro Area, she was used to the locals assuming that crossing the St. Croix River into Minnesota was tantamount to entering the den of iniquity. Bernice also knew there were ulterior motives behind all the sacrifice. She carefully asked, “Where do the Marines have your daughter-in-law stationed now?”

  Marsha mulled over her answer as she removed the tainted cookie from the plate and discretely folded it into her napkin. “Germany, thank God,” she replied, “nowhere near where we lost Jason.” Her voice drifted as she continued. “You know, even now, watching those two in the other room grow like weeds, I still can’t believe it’s been seven years. Funny how time plays tricks on a person.”