Burning for Love

by Evangeline Anderson

  “Oh,” she said. “Well…thank you, I suppose.”

  “Your hair truly is lovely,” James murmured, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “Why do you hide it and cover it with the false hair?”

  “Because that’s the fashion in Court,” Rissa said simply. “It has been for ages, I think since King Leopold the Fourth. He was bald, you see, and so he started wearing a wig to hide the fact. His courtiers began wearing them too, to emulate him and then the Nobles started doing it.” She shrugged. “Pretty soon, before you knew it, everyone was wearing them in Court and we have been ever since.” She sighed and rubbed her temples. “I wish we didn’t have to, though. They give me such a headache—especially the really big, heavy ones, like I had on tonight.”

  “Perhaps I can be of some assistance? May I rub your temples?” Still standing behind her, James put his hands on either side of her head, his eyebrows lifted questioningly as he looked at her in the mirror.

  “Oh, er…”

  She wasn’t quite certain if what he was proposing was proper but that wasn’t what stopped her. Her eyes were drawn his right metal hand and arm. He had taken off his gold brocade frock coat and rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt, which revealed the fact that his entire right arm appeared to be mechanical.

  “Do you fear that I will hurt you, Princess?” James murmured, catching her eyes with his in the mirror. “I hope you know that my strength and enhancements will only ever be used to protect you and keep you safe. I promise you, I can be extremely gentle.”

  “Oh of course you can,” Rissa said quickly. “I wasn’t afraid of you. I just wasn’t sure…sure if it would be quite, er, proper for you to…”

  “To massage your temples?” He raised an eyebrow at her. “Is it considered wrong in your culture for a male to touch a female in this area?”

  “Oh, not wrong, no,” Rissa said. “I just…I didn’t…”

  She broke off, feeling that she was being rude and also a bit foolish. Why did she keep assigning human emotions to the big Kindred when he was little more than a robot? And what other proof of that did she need than the metal arm he was displaying?

  “Please, do go on,” she said, trying to smile at him. “I do have the most awful headache. I would be most grateful if you could help alleviate it, Sir James.”

  “You can simply call me ‘James,’ Princess,” he said, as he began to lightly massage her temples. “I have not earned any of your planet’s titles.”

  “Oh, but…” she began to protest, but her words ended in a little moan of pleasure and relief.

  True to his word, the big Kindred was exceedingly gentle—though his touch was also cool and firm. To her surprise, his metal hand felt as real and natural as the flesh one. If she closed her eyes, she couldn’t even tell them apart.

  James seemed to know just how to touch her in order to relax the tense muscles at her temples. As he rubbed her in just the right way, Rissa felt a great deal of the tension she’d been feeling all night melting away under his touch.

  “Oh, Sir James,” she moaned softly. “You are so very good at that! I have never had anyone rub my temples for me before!”

  “Perhaps you will allow me to help you further, then?” he murmured softly. “Your scalp must also be tense from wearing that heavy wig all night. May I also massage you there?”

  Rissa wasn’t sure if this was proper either, but his big hands felt so good on her, she only hesitated a moment.

  “All right,” she whispered, nodding. “You may go ahead, James.”

  “Thank you, Princess.”

  And he plunged both hands into her thick hair and began massaging her scalp.

  Rissa moaned again as his long fingers stroked and rubbed, easing the tension she’d been feeling all night and making her relax. His hands were so lovely and cool on her heated flesh and the massage felt so good—no one had ever done anything like it for her before. Lady Mildew certainly wasn’t going to offer to do any such thing—she was much more likely to protest how very troublesome Rissa’s long hair was than to offer to ease the pain and tension the heavy wigs and tight skull cap caused.

  After her scalp, the big Kindred asked for permission to massage Rissa’s neck and shoulders, which she granted without reservation.

  “Oh, Sir James,” she moaned softly, as his thumbs dug into the knots of tension that always seemed to form in her shoulders, on either side of her spine. “Truly, you have magic fingers! And I cannot even tell your metal hand from your flesh one.” Then her eyes flew open and she looked at him in the mirror as she realized what she had just said. “That is to say…I hope I did not offend you. I was just—”

  “You were just frightened of my arm and hand enhancements,” he finished for her. His tone was oddly gentle as he met her eyes in the mirror. “But you never need to fear me, Princess. I only want to protect you and ease your pain. However, if you’re interested in my metal arm, I can tell you that the reason you can’t tell the difference is because my enhancement is made of smart metal.”

  “Smart metal?” Rissa frowned. “Pray, what is that? I have never heard of it.”

  “It’s a special alloy enhanced with microscopic electrodes and sensors,” he explained. “When I want it to, it automatically matches the exact temperature and texture of my un-enhanced arm and hand.”

  “But you can also tie knots in metal with it,” she pointed out, remembering his display in the Reception Hall with the guards’ spears.

  He shrugged, his broad shoulders rolling under the black shirt he wore.

  “When I want to. It has other functions as well. Here…feel this.”

  He splayed the fingers of his metal hand over her shoulder and, after a moment, they began to hum and vibrate.

  “Oh!” Rissa jumped. “How very singular! It gives me such a ticklish sensation!”

  “Until I press a little harder—then the vibrations should ease some of your aches and pains.” He demonstrated, gripping her shoulder a bit more firmly and Rissa moaned at the way her tight muscles loosened under his long fingers.

  “Oh my—that’s lovely!” she gasped, leaning her head to one side, to give him greater access to her neck and shoulder. “I…I’ve never felt anything quite like it!”

  “I’m pleased my abilities meet with your approval, Princess Ka’rissa,” he murmured, continuing to use his vibrating hand to massage her neck and shoulders. “And that you trust me enough to let me help ease your pain.”

  “You are…most kind,” Rissa murmured. “Indeed, I am feeling so much better now—I believe my headache is quite gone.”

  “I’m glad,” James murmured.

  He probably would have kept massaging her, but as pleasurable as it was, Rissa had to acknowledge that they couldn’t go on like this forever. For one thing, she was dying to get out of her tight corset and the heavy brocade dress. And for another, Lady Mildew would be in soon to remove her Chastity Wire, so that she might take an ice bath before going to bed that night.

  If her old chaperone walked in while James was stroking her shoulders and Rissa was moaning with pleasure, she would certainly get the wrong idea and accuse them of impropriety.

  “I’m afraid I must get undressed now,” she said. “Lady Mildew will be here soon and she’ll probably be quite angry if she has to wait for me in order to remove my Chastity Wire so that I may bathe.”

  James raised an eyebrow at her.

  “Even angrier than she was before? I do not understand the reason for such an illogical reaction to my presence.”

  “She’s just a bitter old woman and she resents losing even a bit of her power over me,” Rissa said. She sighed. “You’d think she would be glad to get rid of me. She’s been my Constant Companion and chaperone ever since my dear Mama died and she’s done nothing but complain about what a trouble I am the entire time.” She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but couldn’t quite manage it. “She’s never showed me even a bit of love or tenderness—not even right afte
r my dear Mama…”

  She trailed off, shaking her head, unable to let herself go back to that dark time in her childhood. She had cried every night for weeks, missing her mother so badly it felt like her entire body was being turned inside-out with grief. And Lady Mildew’s only response had been to send her to bed early in a dark room without her supper as punishment for her “hysterics.”

  No, there was certainly no love lost between herself and her old chaperone, Rissa reflected. Lady Mildew cared for nothing except the outer appearance of propriety and how Rissa’s actions might reflect on her to the Court. Nothing else seemed to matter to her.

  “Are you…feeling sad?” James asked hesitantly, pulling her back to the present.

  “Sad? Over Lady Mildew? Why would you ask me that?” Rissa tried to laugh, but the sound came out rather choked.

  “I ask because of these.” James knelt beside her. Cupping her cheek in his big hand, he swiped away a tear that had somehow leaked out. “Tears. Generally, when feelers cry, they are experiencing the emotion of sorrow or sadness,” he said and his deep voice was surprisingly soft and gentle.

  “’Feelers’?” Rissa sniffed. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Forgive me.” The big Kindred withdrew his hand, though he remained beside her chair, searching her eyes with his own. “That is the term we Dark Kindred use for humanoids who experience emotions, as we do not.”

  “Oh, I see.” Rissa dropped her eyes, not sure what to say to his question. It reminded her all over that he was just a robot and that she shouldn’t try to assign human feelings or thoughts to him. “I must seem quite a curiosity to you, sitting here, leaking like a watering pot,” she said at last. “I beg your pardon, it is unseemly of me to cry in front of you.”

  “Why?” He sounded genuinely confused. “While I do not have any emotions myself, it doesn’t bother me to see others express them. In fact, if your emotions are distressing you, please tell me if I can help you to ‘feel better’ in any way.”

  Rissa sniffed again.

  “You care about my feelings and want to help me feel better, even though you don’t have any emotions yourself? Why?”

  He shrugged.

  “I am here to protect you and keep you safe and well. Emotional wellbeing would seem to fall under the general parameters of my mission.”

  Rissa gave a watery little laugh.

  “You’re so singular, James! Sometimes you seem quite human and then other times you speak just like a robot. I don’t know how to make you out.”

  It was probably a very rude thing to say to the big Kindred, but as he had no emotions, he wouldn’t be offended if she was honest, Rissa thought. And indeed, he only looked thoughtful as he considered her words.

  “I am trying to understand emotions more,” he admitted. “I have gotten better at reading visual cues, but it would be much easier if you would tell me how you’re feeling. And, if you’re having negative emotions, tell me how to help.”

  Rissa sighed and gave him a tiny smile.

  “You’ve helped to make me feel better already, just by caring that I was sad,” she told him. “Lady Mildew never cared how I felt—only that I looked neat and acted properly.”

  “I’m glad. Or I would be glad, if I had emotions,” James amended.

  He gave her a tentative smile of his own and Rissa wondered why. Was he only making that facial expression in order to try and simulate the emotion of “gladness?” Or might he be having just a tiny bit of actual feeling somehow? It was hard to tell, but the smile looked genuine and it seemed to reach his blue eyes, which were still turned towards her. It was all too confusing, she decided.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re glad,” she said lightly, pushing the troubling question away. “But speaking of Lady Mildew, I really must get undressed and I’m afraid I shall need your help. I cannot reach the buttons on the back of my dress or the stays on my corset myself.”

  “I will be pleased to help you, Princess.” James rose and stood beside her chair. “Will you disrobe here, or in the bathing chamber?”

  “Here is fine. Just let me get my robe ready.”

  Rissa rose as well. Her dressing room—which had been her mother’s—was quite large and elaborate. Besides the counter which held her formal wigs, there were rows and rows of dresses and drawers carved of solid Tika wood, full of stockings, chemises, pantalletts, and all the other underthings a lady needed.

  Going to one polished, dark brown drawer, Rissa opened it and pulled out a white silk robe. Though she was used to being in a state of undress around her old Companion, she was shy of it with James.

  She had dismissed Lady Mildew’s claims that it was improper for her to have the big Kindred undressing and bathing her—mostly because she wanted to be rid of the bitter, controlling old woman. But now, she had to admit it was a bit awkward for him to see her naked. Even if he had no emotions and was a robot inside, on the outside he looked like a big, handsome, virile man—and she would normally never let a man see her without her clothing. Why, it would be almost as bad as letting him kiss her on the mouth!

  But he is not truly a man, she reminded herself again. You wouldn’t feel this way if he had turned out to look like one of those stiff, shiny butler-droids they have in all the fashionable houses in the country!

  Still, she couldn’t shake the habit of modesty and she was glad to have a robe nearby. She would put it on as soon as James helped her off with her dress and underthings, she decided. It would be…less awkward that way.

  “Could you please unbutton me?” she asked, going over to him with the robe in one hand and turning so that her back was to his front. “As I said, I cannot manage the buttons on my own.”

  “Of course.” His long fingers flew and in no time Rissa was able to peel down the white dress and step out of it. “Hang it over the chair—the maid can deal with it later,” she instructed James. “Could you please loosen the stays of my corset? I find them quite constricting tonight.”

  He frowned.

  “By ‘stays’ do you mean these strings?” He motioned at the laces running down her back.

  “Exactly.” Rissa nodded and gave another sigh of relief as the big Kindred loosed the stays in a surprisingly proficient manner and drew the corset away from her body. “Ahh…it feels so good to get that off.”

  “I’m not surprised.” James frowned down at the corset, which he held in one large hand. “Has this device been constricting your breathing all night?”

  Rissa sighed deeply.

  “I’m afraid so.”

  “But…why?” He looked truly confused. “Why would you constrict your natural curves—which are extremely pleasing to look at—into an unnatural shape?”

  “That’s Court fashion for you. It’s like the wigs—I wear a corset because everyone else in Court does too and it would be scandalous for me not to.”

  He frowned.

  “Then this ‘Court fashion’ is a foolish thing.”

  “It’s a necessary thing,” Rissa corrected him. “I mean, maybe not the wigs, but I couldn’t do without my corset. It makes me look so much thinner.”

  His frown deepened.

  “Why would you want to look thinner when your natural curves are so beautiful? You are what my people call, ‘an Elite’—a female who has been blessed with a full, curvy figure. Why would you want to hide it?”

  Rissa was taken aback. She had never heard of any man who preferred a curvy girl to a slim one.

  “Oh, well…I suppose because being thin is the fashion,” she said weakly.

  James shook his head.

  “Ridiculous,” he growled. Then he looked at her thoughtfully. “Princess, if you don’t mind me asking, I thought when I first saw you that you had lights sewn into the front of your gown. But the gown has been removed, and you still appear to have lights on your chest.” He gestured to the front of her chemise where her points were still glowing a dull red under the white fabric of her underclothes and the ice
gel pads she wore.

  “Oh, um…” Rissa was suddenly covered in blushes. Though Duke Grabbington had rudely eluded to her points as a means of bringing up the topic of her Heat Cycle earlier, it was not normally a part of her anatomy she would discuss with a man.

  “I seem to have embarrassed you.” James looked at her more closely. “But why? Have I said something wrong?”

  “No, no,” Rissa hastened to assure him. “It’s just…not something I would usually speak to a, er, man about. But you are not a man—you are a cyborg and you have no emotions about such things,” she said, trying to reassure and remind herself of this fact. “And you are my new Companion so you will see my, er, problem sooner or later.”

  “And the problem is?” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.

  “The problem is my Heat Cycle,” Rissa explained. “As a member of the Very First Family, I have Fire Blood. It heats up and collects in my more, er, sensitive areas and causes them to…to glow when my Cycle is rising.” She nodded down at her points to illustrate.

  “Then…those are not lights sewn into the front of your underthings,” James said. “They are your—”

  “Yes, they are a part of my body,” Rissa said quickly. “And one reason I must wear ice packs under my clothing and take icy baths several times a day. If my Cycle rises too high and I overheat completely, then…” She bit her lip. “Then my fate will be the same as my mother’s,” she finished in a whisper.

  James’s frown deepened.

  “Why is something not being done about this? Why isn’t anyone helping you?” he demanded.

  “Oh, they are,” Rissa explained hurriedly. “At least…in a way,” she added doubtfully. “You see, the only thing that can truly stop my Heat Cycle is finding the right suitor and getting married to him.”

  “So…getting Joined in a ceremony somehow affects your biological functions?” The big Kindred sounded doubtful.

  “Well, not the ceremony, no,” Rissa said. “But what happens after the ceremony. What he…what he will do to me—that will help.”