by Sarah Hill
“You. Sitting across the table enjoying chocolate chip pancakes with us. That would make it the most beautiful morning I’ve seen in a
while.”
“Spencer, you’re so sweet. I wish I were there enjoying those pancakes.”
“I know you do, but you’re doing what you should be doing and it makes me so proud of you, Rye.”
“I’m proud of my husband. Not many men would pick up the responsibilities of caring for a child and tackle it on their own like you have so willingly done. Thank you for making this possible Spence. With all my apprehension in coming back home, I appreciate it more than you probably realize.”
“I know you do. I helped create him, though. You’ll never have to beg me to take care of my own son. Plus, he’s a pretty amazing little boy and makes it easy.”
Rylie smiled and said, “That he does. We’re pretty lucky.”
“Sweetheart, I’m going to have to let you go so I can get this amazing kid ready for school. We are running a little behind, but I wanted to hear your voice. Good luck today, I’ll be thinking of you the entire morning. Call me if you need me, okay? I love you.”
Rylie’s heart sank knowing she had to let him go. Just hearing his voice gave her strength. “I love you so much, my love. I’ll send you updates as I get them. Have a good day.”
Rylie arrived at the hospital in time to go in and see Del before surgery. Del looked optimistic, but Rylie knew there was more going on inside than she was going to let on. It wasn’t until the nurse came to wheel her away that she broke a little. Squeezing Rylie’s hand, she whispered, “If I don’t come back out with my heart still beating and breath still in my body. Take care of Norm for me. He needs someone to keep him company, but he won’t tell you that.” Del released her hand and Rylie saw a tear rolling down her cheek.
“Del, you are coming back out of there. You have a lot of life left in you. This isn’t going to stop you.”
Del nodded as she wiped the tear from her face and said, “I know, but promise me.”
“I promise, he won’t want for company,” Rylie replied, squeezing Del’s hand. “I’ll see you soon, okay? I love you!”
“I love you too, my sweet girl.”
Norm stepped up to the gurney and bent over the rail. He placed a kiss on Del’s mouth and said, “Have a good nap, sweetheart. I’ll be here waiting when you wake up.” Del gave them a teary smile as they wheeled her away.
Rylie and Norm exhaled in unison, releasing their fears at the same time and smiling at each other. Rylie wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned her head on his shoulder. “Come on, it’s going to be a long day. Let’s go see what they have for a late breakfast in the cafeteria.”
Rylie was impressed with the options the cafeteria offered. Norm chose biscuits and gravy and some sausage links. Rylie took a healthy portion of bacon, filling her plate with her weakness. Knowing a plateful of bacon would earn her some odd looks, she added eggs and fruit to a second plate and grabbed some orange juice and coffee for Norm and herself. They decided to take their food to the outdoor patio and take advantage of some fresh air. The sun warmed their table as they dug into their breakfast.
“I’m surprised we’re getting such a tasty breakfast at a hospital,” she said, breaking a piece of warm, crispy bacon into her mouth and closing her eyes to enjoy its smoky flavor. “Mmmm, bacon.”
With a small smile Norm said, “It’s okay, I guess. They have nothing on Del’s cooking though.”
“True, but it’s better than I expected.” Rylie watched as Norm drug a piece of biscuit through the thick gravy on his plate. He shoved it to the side and then stuck his fork into another piece, about to do the same thing. Reaching across the table, Rylie rested her hand on his, preventing the drowning of another biscuit and said, “She’d tell you to stop playing with your food and just eat it, you know.”
Norm peeked up at her and his mouth twitched. “I’m sure she’d have more than that to say. I fell in love with that woman’s feistiness. You know, she broke a beer bottle over my head when we first met.”
“Did she really?” Rylie asked, laughing at the vision she had in her head.
“Scouts honor,” he replied, holding his hand up as if he were taking an oath.
“Why?”
“I had been out partying with some buddies, her brother being one of them. A couple of us had to help him get inside his house when we dropped him off. Del was the one who answered the door.” Norm shook his head as he laughed at the memory. His eyes had a far-off look, like he was watching it happen as he told her the story. “She was madder than a hornet, seeing her brother barely able to walk and slurring his words. She took the bottle I was holding and broke it over my head. Told us she knew we were bad news and from now on we were to stay away from her brother.”
Rylie realized her mouth was hanging open and covered it with the napkin she was holding as she laughed.
“Always so full of spunk, that woman.”
“How in the world did you end up together?” Rylie asked, frowning.
“I didn’t listen to her. I continued hanging around with her brother, which meant I got to see her from time to time. She was such a beautiful girl. I’d never seen anything like her before. She reminded me of Elizabeth Montgomery. A real knockout!” Norm said, a low whistle emitting from behind his lips. “I eventually wore her down with my humor and charm. She realized she couldn’t live without me.” Sighing, Norm looked at Rylie and said, “I’ve known all along I can’t live without her. She’s coming back out of that surgery, Rylie. Our story hasn’t reached the end yet.”
“No it hasn’t.” Rylie leaned on the table and said, “I know I don’t say it often enough, but I am so thankful for you and Del. I know you saved me from the life I was destined for, a life following in the steps of Diane. Thank you for seeing more than a straggly little girl and for sharing Del with me. I know you didn’t have to.”
“You made it easy and you provided something for Del that she never had the opportunity to experience. Watching her with you was a gift.”
“The most significant moment in my life was the day you moved me into your house. I think back to that day every so often and still feel the relief I felt back then.” She paused and looked over at him from the corner of her eyes and asked, “do you ever see her?”
“Diane? No, but I hear things.” Norm took his pocket knife from his pocket and started cleaning beneath his nails as he continued. “Heard she’d moved around a lot for a few years, but finally settled down with a truck driver she met while…,” Norm’s voice trailed off and he looked up at her.
“While at the bar? It’s okay, Norm. I know where she spent her
time.”
He shook his head and said, “It’s a complete shame how she took you for granted. I’m sorry, girl.”
Rylie shook her head and smiled. “It’s okay. It gave me a better life and I have no regrets.”
“Still haven’t seen hide nor hair of him, since that night.” An anger that rarely appeared on Norm, settled into the lines on his face, causing him to look older than normal.
A chill went through Rylie, causing her to rub her arms. She smiled and said, “You probably never will.”
“Maysen would’ve killed him if I had not stopped him.”
“Yeah. Norm, can we change the subject?”
Norms eyes widened and he said, “I’m sorry, I start remembering something and just keep talking. I didn’t mean to dredge up that nightmare.”
“It’s okay, I do the same thing without thinking sometimes,” she said, winking.
“Maysen, would’ve laid his life down for you back then.”
Not wanting to talk about Maysen, Rylie stood up and asked, “Did you want to go watch some television in the waiting room?”
“Why not? Gotta pass the time somehow, right?” he said, standing up and shoving his pocket knife back into his pocket.
Rylie sighed and followed Norm to the waiting room, though she wasn
’t in the mood to watch television. She hadn’t thought about the night she went to live permanently with Del and Norm in so long, the details had begun to blur.
It was spring of 1988, her Sophomore year. She and Maysen had been dating for almost a year and she’d never been happier. She no longer felt out of place at school. She and Maddie had been welcomed into most of the inner circle Maysen always belonged to. Maddie, to the astonishment of Rebecca, started dating Kevin Motzy a few weeks into the start of the school year. Everything seemed perfect for the first time in her life.
She remembered that awful night had been a Friday and she went home after school to get ready for a movie date with Maysen. He was taking her to The Pix, in Ontario, to see Beetlejuice. When she heard the door, she assumed it was Maysen to pick her up. Instead, she found Diane and a tall man wearing a cowboy hat standing in the living room.
“I’m not staying. Just need to grab a few things. Will is taking me away for the weekend,” Diane said, pushing past her.
“So, this is your daughter, is it?” the man, named Will asked. “You didn’t mention she was such a looker.”
Diane looked over her shoulder at Rylie with jealousy and said, “Yeah, that’s her,” before disappearing down the hallway.
“Hey there beautiful. Wanna sit with me for a minute?” Will asked, pulling at her arm. Rylie could smell the alcohol rolling off his breath.
“No, I’m actually leaving,” she said, pulling away from him.
“Not so fast,” he growled, as he grabbed her arm.
Rylie remembered being thrown to the couch, her head hitting the wall. Maysen burst through the door as everything went dark. The next thing she remembered, she was at Del and Norm’s. She had blacked out. Maysen was no coward and all those years in weight class and playing football gave him a lot of muscle. Del and Norm told her later it had taken both, Norm and Diane to pull him off the man named Will. The most hurtful part was that Diane had still left with him. It was the last time Rylie saw her mother.
May 1989
“Maysen,” Rylie whispered, pulling away from his kisses. They were up in their treehouse where they spent a lot of their time these days. Reading, writing and … kissing.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, scrunching his eyebrows into a frown.
“Nothing and,” she paused, shaking her head and added, “everything.”
“What do you mean?” he asked. He sat up and pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her.
“I can’t stop thinking about the scholarship Mrs. Matthews told me about in class today.”
“The one to NYU?” he asked, tucking her hair behind her ears and kissing the tip of her nose.
Rylie nodded and laid her head against his shoulder.
“I don’t understand why that’s got you so preoccupied. She’s right Rylie, you need to try to get accepted to a good college. You need to take some courses taught by the best professors they have. You have a shot to get out there and do something with yourself.”
“That’s exactly why I’m so preoccupied. I never thought in a million years that I would go to college. I always thought you had to have money to go. A part of me still believes I’m just white trash blowing around a small town nobody’s heard of.”
“You’re not white trash and I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“I’m an orphan.”
“No, you’re not.”
“My mom ran off with some disgusting man she barely knew. She isn’t coming back, Maysen. I am an orphan.”
“No, you’re not. You have Norm and Del.”
Rylie relaxed against him and smiled. “You’re right. It still feels like a dream to be taken in and have someone for me. I am so grateful for them.” Looking up at Maysen she added, “Del always made sure I had something to eat when we were younger. I was naïve to believe I could hide how bad my situation was from everyone. I know the only reason I survived all these years is because she allowed me to believe I was doing it on my own.”
“Have you told them about the possibility of New York?”
“Not yet. I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it.”
Maysen nodded and fixed his gaze on the leaves waving in the gentle breeze outside the window. He absently ran his fingers through her hair causing chill bumps to run up her arms. She rubbed her hands across them a few times and then hugged herself as she leaned against the warmth of his body. Maysen was always ten degrees warmer than she was and she loved using it as an excuse to cuddle next to him.
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?” he asked, resting his chin on top of her head.
“How does my going away to college make you feel?” she asked, as she sat up and faced him. “You haven’t chosen your college. Why don’t you come with me?” For the first time since Mrs. Matthews mentioned college to her, an excitement rolled through her body. Maysen was so smart. He could come with her and then all the uneasiness she was feeling would go away.
Tugging her hair, he smiled at her with a crooked smile and said, “I can’t, Rylie girl. I need to go to a college close by so I’m near the farm. I’m taking over someday so my education won’t just be classes. I’ll have to learn all the ins and outs of running this place too.”
Rylie’s shoulders sagged as she laid back against the pillows. The excitement she’d felt moments ago rushed out as she slowly exhaled. “Oh, yeah. I hadn’t thought about that. Well, I can go to the community college too. I didn’t think I’d get to go to college at all. I don’t have to go away to learn. I’m not picky.”
“You’d get so much more out of one of the bigger colleges. You and I both know that. If the opportunity arises, you need to go. I’ll be here, waiting for you if you choose to come back.”
“Of course, I’d come back!” Rylie stared at him as deep lines formed on her forehead.
“I like to think so, but I can’t help thinking once you’re given the chance to spread your wings and see what that big old world holds….” Maysen’s voice trailed off as he smiled at her. “You deserve to live, Rylie. To experience all that is wonderful out there.”
“I want you there with me. You don’t have to stay here on this farm if you don’t want to. Come with me.”
Maysen kissed her, nipping her lip as he pulled away. “I want to stay on this farm, Rylie. As much as I’d like to see what else is out there and visit exciting places, this will always be my home. I enjoy it too much,” he said, waving his hand in the direction of the window and all the beauty beyond it. “I won’t hold you back though. I can see it in your eyes. Leaving is exciting to you and it’s okay.”
“I love it here too,” she said. “I’m okay with staying here and growing old with you.”
“That’s the thing. I don’t want you to be just okay. I want your heart to be so full you fall asleep with a smile on your face. I don’t want you settling for one life that has you dreaming of another.”
“Maysen, you are the reason I go to sleep with a smile on my face. If you ceased to exist in my life, there would be no reason to smile.”
“That’s not true. Rylie. We have another year of school to get through. So much can change in one year.”
“What do you mean?” Rylie asked, leaning away with a scowl on her face. “Are you saying your feelings have changed?”
Mayen laughed and placed his hands on the sides of her face and said, “No. My feelings haven’t change. You’re the one I want to be hanging stars with for the rest of my life. I want you to stay. I want to marry you someday. I want to work side by side with you on this farm because I know you’re not afraid of this life and the work it demands. But I won’t be selfish and take the life you want from you either. I won’t watch your soul die like a caged bird.”
“What if I go away to college and want to come back, but you’ve found someone else you want to share this life with?” she asked, looking at him through her eyelashes.
“I’ve loved you for the bigger p
art of my life. I’m not going to forget that love just because you’re not down the road from me. You’ll visit and maybe I’ll get to escape to your world from time to time.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re not convinced we have a future?”
Maysen sighed and flopped back onto the pillows. “Because I’m not, I guess. I sure hope it works out in my favor, but I’m even more convinced you’ll fall in love with the beauty and excitement you find in whatever city you decide to roam to. Even worse,” Maysen paused and gave her a look she was unable to read and then said, “I’m afraid you’ll fall in love with someone who makes the earth move beneath you and the memory of this country boy you used to know will fade.”
“No.” Rylie reached out for Maysen, shaking her head. “Maysen, I won’t ever love anyone the way I love you. I wish you could feel how much I love you. Then you’d understand.”
“I know you love me. I feel it in your touch and the way you look at me when you talk. I see it, Rylie.” He leaned forward and softly kissed her neck.
“Then why are you talking like this?” she asked, turning her face to his and accepting another kiss.
“I just want us to be prepared for anything,” he whispered between kisses. “You don’t understand how beautiful you are. There will be other guys competing for you and one of them might surprise you. I can’t pretend it won’t happen.” He leaned back and winked at her. “Did you want to write a little bit before we have to go home?”
“Changing the subject?” she asked, worry lines still visible on her forehead.
Maysen grabbed her notebook and dropped it in her lap. “That I am. We have a whole year to decide. There’s no reason to stress about it yet.”
Rylie watched Maysen sharpen her pencils as an uneasy feeling settled into the pit of her stomach like wet sand bags. A year to decide which life her heart couldn’t live without wasn’t a lot of time.
Rylie stayed in the tree house with Maysen until they heard Del calling for her to come home and eat. Maysen walked her to the gate and kissed her goodbye. He left in good spirits with no signs of their conversation visible on his handsome face. She wished the weight that occupied her heart had washed away as easily as his seemed to have done. Her thoughts were so occupied by their conversation she didn’t notice her food getting cold in front of her.