by Sarah Hill
She despised the entire situation and wished she could figure out how to handle it in a way that didn’t take away from the importance Maysen played in her life. There wasn’t a soul she could talk to without feeling ashamed. She was exhausted and her heart ached. At some point, she would have to tell Spencer about the kiss by the creek, but couldn’t think about that right now. As she parked in the hospital’s parking lot she shook off the feelings that made her stomach sick. She didn’t want to go in to Del’s room with any negativity clinging to her.
When she made it to the fourth floor, Del’s door was open as though it were expecting her. Walking in she saw the curtain wasn’t pulled around Del’s area like it had been during her previous visits. The room looked bigger and brighter and helped uplift her mood a tad.
Del’s eyes were closed and there was no sign of Norm. Leaning over her bed, she lightly kissed her cheek. Del’s eyes fluttered open and smile formed on her lips.
“There’s my girl. Where’ve you been?” she asked.
“Well, I don’t know if you remember, but you kicked me out Saturday. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, but I am all yours today,” she said, looking around the room. “Where’s Norm?”
“He probably slipped out to go eat when I fell asleep,” Del said, looking towards the door. “Don’t ask me how long ago that was. Time means nothing to me in this place.”
“I know,” Rylie said, smiling. “Only a couple more days and we should be able to bust you out of here.”
Del rolled her eyes and said, “I feel better. I don’t see why they are keeping me here.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling better. From what I understand, they’re keeping you to monitor your incision. I guess it’s not healing as fast as they wanted. You just need a couple more days.”
“Do you want to know what I’m sick and tired of?” Del asked. “I’ll tell you what! When they come and change the dressing, they are not gentle! They rip off the damn tape and it hurts more than the incision!” she exclaimed; her eyes wide.
Rylie cringed. “Oh, that doesn’t sound fun. I’m sorry you’re in such misery, I wish I could take your pain away.”
Del shook her head and said, “I wouldn’t let you. I don’t want anyone I love to have to ever feel this pain.” She patted the bed for Rylie to sit. “I do apologize for kicking you out the other day. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“Of course, I do,” Rylie said, sitting. “I won’t hold anything you said while in captivity against you.”
“Thank you,” she said, smirking. “What have you been up to the past couple days?”
“Not much. I did get the chance to see Maddie and Kevin for a bit Saturday night.”
“Down at Maysen’s fire pit I suppose?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Rylie nodded.
“How did that go?”
“Okay I guess,” she replied, looking up at the television.
“What happened?” Del asked, her eyes narrowing.
Shaking her head and doing her best to keep the surprise of Del’s question off her face, she said, “Nothing. I apologized for leaving the way I did and explained why I thought I needed to. Maddie forgave me and we did a little catching up. Nobody died.”
“Hmmm.”
“What?”
“You’re not telling me everything. I know when you’re keeping secrets. Are you and Maysen getting along?”
“For the most part, I guess.”
“For the most part? So, you’ve been fighting? I knew there was more to the story,” Del said, a satisfied look on her face. “Let’s have it.”
“It’s really nothing. You can’t expect us to see each other after years apart and not have a couple arguments.”
“Well, what were you arguing about?” Del asked, looking indignantly at her.
“Who’s arguing?” Norm came through the door, his eyebrows lowered over his eyes.
“Nobody.”
“Rylie and Maysen.”
Rylie and Del spoke at the same time. Norm looked from one to the other, his face softening. “We expected that would happen,” he said, looking at Del and smirking.
“I know it, but I still want to know what they argued about,” Del snapped.
“It’s none of our business,” he said looking at Rylie. “If they want to share with us, they will.”
Rylie relaxed, sitting back against the pillows propped on the bed and said, “Thank you, Norm.”
Del crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. “No matter, Maysen will tell us,” she said, a satisfied smile creeping onto her face.
Rylie sat up and frowned at Del. “No, he wouldn’t.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Del, stop terrorizing the girl or she’ll never come back to see us,” Norm said, sitting down and opening the paper he’d brought in with him.
“The only way she’s coming to visit us again is if we end up back in here,” Del said, throwing her arms wide and looking around the room.
“That’s not true! What a thing to say,” Rylie said, standing up with a wounded look on her face.
“How is it not true? This is the first time you’ve come home since you left.,” Del said, turning the television off.
“I know, but I plan on coming home more often with Spencer and Alex too. We’ve already started making plans.”
Norm looked up from his paper. “Have you really?”
“Yes. I know I was wrong not to come sooner,” she said, turning to look at Del. “I realize that now and I want them to experience the peace I feel here.”
Del’s mouth made a hard line as she narrowed her eyes. “Hmmm.”
“Did you want me to call Spencer so he can tell you?”
“Now come on you two,” Norm said, tossing his paper on the table sitting beside his chair. “I’ve been sleeping in this uncomfortable
thing,” he said, motioning to the chair he was sitting in before continuing, “too long to listen to you squabble over things that don’t matter.”
“Well, I bet Alex is growing like a weed,” Del said, her voice flat.
Rylie took the olive branch and said, “He is and spunky as ever.”
“I can’t wait to see him. Is he still a Harry Potter fanatic like you?” Norm asked, his eyes bright. Norm loved Harry Potter as much as Rylie did, though he’d never admit it.
“He is and he recently got a wizard’s chess game that he’d love to challenge you,” Rylie said, her smile meeting her eyes.
“Wizard’s chess? You don’t say!” Norm said, his eyes lighting up.
“Mmmm hmmm, I’ll make sure he brings it.”
The afternoon passed too quickly as they talked about all he places they’d like to take Spencer and Alex. Norm mentioned taking them fishing out at the paddock, commenting every little boy should experience catching a fish. Del’s mood lifted as she planned what she’d have on the menu while they visited. When Rylie tried nixing Del doing any strenuous cooking, she waved Rylie off. “Nobody will be cooking for them, but me!”
When the nurse brought Del’s supper, Rylie looked at the clock and was shocked at how late it had gotten. “I better get going. Do you guys need anything before I leave?”
“No,” Del said, looking at the door. “Maysen hasn’t made it for a few days. I wonder what’s happened to him?”
“He called me to check on you. He sounded a bit stressed. Probably overworking himself like he always does,” Norm said.
“I hope that’s it and not stress induced by other things,” Del said, pausing from cutting her meat and looking in Rylie’s direction.
Rylie ignored the comment and kissed Del’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I hope you get a good night’s sleep.” Walking over and kissing the top of Norm’s head she said, “You too.”
Chuckling, he said, “I won’t be getting a good night’s sleep until we are home.”
“I love you guys,” she said, blowing a kiss as she backed towards the door.
October 15,
2010- Evening
When Rylie got back to the house, she changed into shorts and a tank top and walked down to the creek. She cut across the pasture, walking through witch grass and pigweed. A bull thistle snagged her arm as she absently walked by, creating a sting she hadn’t felt since she ran wild around the ranch. She made her way down the steep bank to the creek. A slight breeze caught her hair and blew it across her face. As she swept the errant hair from her eyes, she saw movement to her right. She saw a doe and her fawn drinking water from the creek and she stared in wonder. They were so beautiful. Wildlife was yet another thing she wanted Alex, and even Spencer, to experience.
The deer trotted downstream when they detected her presence and she proceeded down to the bank. Kicking her shoes off, she waded into the water and walked towards the rock palace under the bridge. The memories that flashed through her mind of the time she spent trying to catch the king of the crawdads made her smile. Standing a few feet from the rocks, she waited. After a few minutes of no movement, she decided to try an old trick she used as a girl.
Inching a couple feet closer to the rocks, she cautiously stuck her foot next to a gap and wiggled her toes. That did the trick. A large crawdad shot out from under the rocks. Not remembering how fast they moved and forgetting she wasn’t as fast as she used to be, it latched onto her big toe before she could get away. She let out a blood curdling scream and started running, lifting her knees high as she hopped around under the bridge. During the commotion, it must’ve fallen off, because when she stopped stomping it was nowhere in sight. She lifted her foot to examine her big toe.
“Rylie? Is that you?” a voice called from above her.
The disembodied voice made her jump, causing her to lose her balance and fall backwards into the cool water. Sitting up and gasping to catch her breath, she wiped water from her eyes and looked up. Leaning over the side of the bridge was Maysen, his mouth hanging open.
Coughing to free the water she swallowed she nodded and said, “Yep, it’s me.”
“I heard a scream, are you okay?”
Rylie burst out laughing as the water flowed past her and wound around the bend. “I’m fine. I just went to battle with the king and lost.”
“You what?” he asked, his eyebrows knitting together.
“Nothing,” she said, shaking her head. “Just reliving some memories.” She stood up and waded back to the sandy part of the bank.
“Huh. How did the visit with Del go?” he asked.
“Oh, you know Del,” she said, slipping her shoes back on. “She put up a fuss at first, but calmed down after a bit and made the visit enjoyable.” She brushed the sand from her hands and smiled.
“Spunky as ever. That’s a good sign. Did they say when she gets to come home for sure?”
“Still a couple days. She did wonder where you’d been,” she said, gazing up at him.
He lifted his cap from his head and wiped the sweat from his brow. “Did she? What’d you say?”
“I didn’t. Norm told her you’d been calling to check in on her and that you were probably overworking yourself like always.”
He nodded and pulled his cap back on as he looked off into the distance. Sweat made the t-shirt he wore cling to him exposing the hardness of his chest and abdomen.
Rylie realized she was admiring his body and shook herself from the daze, calling up to him. “I know the ranch is a lot of work, but I hope he’s wrong about you overworking yourself.”
Maysen looked back down at her with his hands on his hips and said, “I don’t. I just don’t like to be idle for long. It leads to thinking too much.”
“Where did you come from anyway?” she asked, changing the subject.
He jerked his head towards the space behind him and said, “I was checking the water in the north fields. I was passing by in the old irrigation truck when I heard you scream.
“The one with no driver’s side door?” she asked, in disbelief.
“Yeah,” he said, with a chuckle. “It’s still running. They don’t make them like they used to.”
“No, they don’t. Well,” she said, exhaling and allowing her shoulders to drop. “I better go dry off.”
“Are we going to pretend there’s nothing going on between us?” he called, towards her retreating back.
Rylie stopped and turned around. “There isn’t anything going on between us.”
“Two nights ago, I stood where you are now and kissed you.” He pointed at her and added, “You kissed me back, Rylie.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she said, all her energy seeping out.
“When I kissed you, did you feel anything?”
“I kissed you back, didn’t I?” she said, glaring at him.
“I’m stopping by the house,” he said.
“What for?” she demanded, but he had already disappeared behind the side of the bridge. “Argh!” she yelled through gritted teeth as she pulled herself up the bank.
Taking her time to get to the house, Rylie tried sorting out her feelings. She knew the only way he was going to stop this insanity was if she told him exactly what she thought. The problem was, she didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t want to tell him the feelings she held for him twenty years ago were trickling their way back in because she knew the affection she felt was unwelcome. She loved Spencer.
Maysen was sitting on the steps waiting for her when she came through the backyard. “I thought you might have gone to hideout somewhere.”
“I thought about it,” she said, squeezing past him to open the screen.
“Are you bi-polar?” he asked, following her inside.
She froze and turned to look at him. “What?”
“You seem friendly and happy one minute and the next,” he said, leaning away from her glare, “it looks like your head is going to start spinning.”
“You ass,” she said, going into the kitchen and sitting down.
“Mind if I get myself some tea?” he asked, pointing to the fridge.
With her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face, she nodded and said, “Help yourself.”
“Would you like some?”
Wanting so badly to say no, but feeling parched, she gave in and said, “Please.”
He poured two glasses and then sat across from her, pushing her glass of tea towards her. Bringing his glass to his lips, he took a long drink and then set it back down and stared at her.
“So,” he said.
“So?”
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Just as irritated as I was last night,” she said, watching the droplets of condensation roll down her glass. “This entire situation pisses me off, Maysen.”
“How so?”
“I made a mistake when I left. I was angry and I acted rashly, but things are different now. I would love for us to be friends. Yet, you insist on making things complicated.”
“You honestly believe we can be friends while harboring feelings for each other? How is that fair to Spencer?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.
“They’re old feelings. They aren’t how I feel now.”
“Then why kiss me back? If you had pushed me away or even slapped me, I would have known where you stood. I know how I feel, Rylie. I knew the second I saw you in that hospital waiting room.”
“I don’t know why I kissed you back, but I also stopped it,” she said, her forehead wrinkling.
“Okay. Let’s go back to what you said a few minutes ago. Your exact words were, ‘I made a mistake when I left.’ What did that mean?”
“I meant that I wrongly accused you of burning down the treehouse and cheating on me. I should have talked to you. I admit I was wrong for leaving and though I regret treating you that way, I don’t regret marrying Spencer,” she said, slapping her hand on the table. “Love isn’t just black and white, Maysen. You act like if I feel love for you, then I should be with you.”
“Do you disagree?” he interrupted.
>
“Yes. The love I feel for you is not the same love I have for
Spencer.”
“How did kissing me make you feel?” he asked, trying a different tactic.
“Out of control,” she replied, looking directly in his eyes.
“See,” he said, rapping his knuckles on the table and pointing at her. “That right there! That’s how love makes you feel!”
“No -,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Stop backtracking.”
“I’m not. It made me feel out of control in a way I didn’t like. It wasn’t a passionate feeling.”
Maysen scowled at her and said, “You didn’t feel any passion?”
She opened her mouth and shut it, frowning. “No matter what I say you’re going to put your own spin on it.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do. If I could climb inside your head and understand, I would. When you leave, I don’t want there to be any question about how we feel.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. There are no questions for me. I know what I want,” she said, her voice squeaking.
Maysen sighed and asked, “If you could make me understand, would you?”
“Of course, but how am I supposed to do that? Like you said, you can’t crawl into my head.”
“Let me kiss you,” he said, his emotionless.
“What? No!”
“Why not? Are you scared?”
“Scared of what?” she asked, growling
“What might be hiding beneath the surface,” he said, making a tight line with his lips.
“I’m not scared,” she said, glaring at him. “I’m married.”
“So am I,” he said, shrugging.
“Exactly! How did you feel when Elizabeth cheated on you? You want me to make Spencer feel the same way?” she spat, leaning forward with both hands on the table.
Maysen’s face fell as he stared at her with his mouth slightly open. “Who told you that?” he asked. “Did Maddie tell you that?”
Rylie felt pressure pushing from the inside of her head as she realized what she’d said. Shaking her head, she said, “No, Maddie didn’t tell me. Del did. In her defense, she thought I already knew. I didn’t want to make her feel bad for telling me. I’m sorry, Maysen.”