by Carol Ashby
When Titus entered the dining room, he expected a table set for four, but it was only set for two. As happy as Claudia had been when he came home, he would have bet Philip and Penelope were joining them for dinner.
Claudia entered the room in a beige tunic with her hair down and no jewelry. As she pulled out the chair and seated herself, Titus bounced his eyebrows at her.
“You’d better hurry and change into that blue tunic while Miriam sets for two more. You don’t want to disappoint Philip. You usually treat him to a vision of loveliness when he comes.”
“Philip and Penelope aren’t coming tonight. He left for Moesia this morning. It’s going to be four or five weeks before he returns, but I’ll probably ask Penelope to dinner a few times before he gets back.”
She leaned across the table and patted her brother’s cheek. “It isn’t that you’re not good company, but I do like talking with Penelope, too.”
Titus’s eyebrows shot up at this news. Claudia usually moped for a few days after Philip left town, and her spirits didn’t bounce back completely until he returned. Philip gone for maybe five weeks and his sister this happy? Odd, but he certainly wouldn’t complain about it. It was good to see her so happy. He’d spent too much time watching her be sad.
Penelope was in her room the next morning when the servant came to announce Claudia’s arrival. She’d been praying for Claudia and Philip ever since Philip went to talk with her before he left for Moesia. She was dying to find out what had come of their conversation. One look at Claudia’s face was likely to tell her everything.
When she reached the inner courtyard where Claudia and Miriam stood waiting for her, she eagerly fixed her gaze on Claudia. There was a happy glow about her that was exactly what she’d hoped to see.
“I’m so glad you came.” A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Claudia’s sparkling eyes could only mean one thing.
“I have something wonderful to tell you, something I know you’ve wanted to hear for a long time.” Claudia beamed. “I’ve decided to follow Jesus.”
Penelope threw her arms around Claudia. “Philip must be so happy. I can hardly wait for him to return and make you my sister-in-law now you’re my sister in Christ.”
Claudia’s smile dimmed as Penelope stepped back. “He doesn’t know. It was after he left. He told me he couldn’t marry me because I wasn’t a Christian. When I told him no one would choose a god over the person they loved, he said my father did. He hurt me so much when he said that I wanted to hurt him, too.”
Claudia pressed a hand to her cheek. “I told him I didn’t want to see him again because he didn’t really love me if he chose his god over me. But God used it all to open my heart, and Miriam told me everything I needed to hear to know I want to follow Jesus, too.”
She took Penelope’s hands in her own. “I didn’t mean what I said at all, but I hurt him terribly when I said it. I’m afraid he won’t feel he can come to me when he returns. If he doesn’t, will you please tell him I want to see him more than anything and I have something to tell him that will change everything for us?”
“Of course, but I don’t think you have to worry about him not coming to see you as soon as he returns. He’ll never be able to ride by your house without seeing how you are.”
Penelope pulled Claudia into another embrace. “I’ve wanted you for my sister-in-law ever since I saw Philip opening his heart to you on the ship. But even more, I’ve wanted you to be my sister in Christ. As soon as Philip returns, I expect you’ll be both.”
Chapter 62: Discovery
Lucius had just returned from the Basilica Julia in central Rome. His regular Friday discussion with his friends had been enjoyable, but he wished he hadn’t gone. Flavius Sabinus had been there. At first, Sabinus ignored him, and that was fine with him. In fact, he truly preferred that. Then someone talking with Sabinus called out his name, and the power broker couldn’t pretend not to see him.
Sabinus inquired about his progress in locating his kidnapped sister, and he’d been forced to admit that he hadn’t been able to find even the slightest trace of her since her disappearance more than seven weeks earlier. Lucius had hoped Sabinus’s interest in acquiring Claudia might have faded after such a long time, but no such luck. Sabinus made several cryptic comments about any man who didn’t deliver on his promises not being fit to live in Rome. Coupled with an uncomfortable silence as the crocodile stared at him, Lucius fully understood the threat.
As he sat at his father’s desk rolling a stylus between his fingers, the door slave interrupted his troubled thoughts.
“Yes?”
“A letter for you, master.”
The slave handed the letter to Lucius, then bowed before returning to his post.
Lucius slid the end of the stylus under the edge of the rolled sheet of papyrus and lifted to break the wax seal. He unrolled the sheet and laid it on the desk in front of him.
Septimus Valerius Corvinus to Lucius Claudius Drusus Fidelis, greetings. If you are well, then I am glad. I write to share good news. I know of your great concern for your missing sister, Claudia Drusilla, as shown by your most generous offer of 10,000 denarii to anyone who can find her. It is with great satisfaction that I tell you I have found her this day. She is now living in Perinthus with your brother Titus. Since it will be some time before I can return to Rome myself, I would be most grateful if you would give the 10,000 denarii to Marcus for him to transfer to the steward of my estate. I ask you also to tell my brother that all is well with me here in Perinthus, as I hope all is well with him. May the gods guard your safety.
Lucius took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh of relief. At last he’d found her. Since she was with Titus, she was almost certainly what Sabinus would consider “undamaged,” so he should be able to fulfill his promise to the crocodile if he could bring her back.
He was about to summon Malleolus to discuss how best to retrieve her when he paused. Even though the old steward had spared no effort in trying to find her the first few days after her disappearance, Lucius got the impression he was secretly glad she’d escaped. As fond as the old man was of his sister, he wouldn’t want to help drag her back from living safely with Titus to marry a man who would almost certainly hurt her.
Lucius would discuss how best to recover Claudia with his friend Marcus, and together they would find the right men to send to bring his sister back. If Malleolus somehow knew where she was, he might try to warn her before the agents arrived to drag her back to Rome.
He took a wax tablet from the drawer and was about to write to Sabinus to let him know that his sister had been found. As he began pressing the stylus into the wax, he hesitated. Then he returned the tablet to the drawer. It might be unwise to let Sabinus know he’d located Claudia until he actually had her back in Rome, ready to marry the old man. It could be fatal to disappoint a crocodile a second time.
Chapter 63: The Letter
Titus was about to head home for dinner when the postal slave entered the garrison and approached the centurion on duty. He glanced at the slave but took no real notice of him as he mounted his stallion.
“Claudius Drusus.”
Titus turned to face the centurion. “Yes?”
“A letter for you, tribune.” The centurion walked over and handed him the thick roll of papyrus sheets held shut by the wax seal. Titus’s eyebrow rose. It was from Appius Manlius Torquatus. Torquatus had been one of his father’s best friends, but why would he be writing?
When he broke the wax seal and unrolled the sheets, the greeting was like a slap in the face.
Publius Claudius Drusus to Titus Claudius Drusus, my dear son, greetings.
Titus froze his face. Father’s final message. He rolled it up and slipped it inside his tunic. He wouldn’t risk reading it where anyone could watch him. Wouldn’t risk revealing the lump in his throat, the pain in his heart, that the words “my dear son” caused.
Without a word, he
kicked his horse into a trot and headed home. In the privacy of his own room, it wouldn’t matter if he couldn’t control his emotions as he heard one last time from the father he loved.
Miriam was alone in the kitchen when Master Titus entered.
“Welcome home, master.”
Usually he smiled and greeted her. More often than not, he would sneak a taste of what she was preparing, tease her, and make her blush. Today was nothing like his usual homecoming. She’d never before seen him look grim when he came home.
“Smells good, Miriam. I’ll be down to eat in a few minutes.”
He walked through the kitchen and climbed the stairs. She stepped to the door to watch him as he strode along the balcony and entered his room, closing the door behind him. Something was wrong, very wrong, with the master.
Miriam began to pray.
Titus flipped the latch on the door before he drew the letter from his tunic. He took a deep breath before he unrolled it. He was eager to read it, but he was also afraid of what it might contain. There were many sheets, so it must contain something Father had considered very important. He sat down on his bed, and began to read.
Publius Claudius Drusus to Titus Claudius Drusus, my dear son, greetings. Let me assure you that I truly am well, although what I am writing you might at first make you think otherwise. By the time you receive this letter, I will have been executed for refusing to deny my faith in Jesus of Nazareth and offer a sacrifice to Caesar. Everything I own will have been confiscated and given to Lucius. This letter is my only legacy for you, but what it contains is worth more than all my estates, more than all the wealth in the Empire. I pray you will come to treasure it for the truth it contains and as the final expression of my love for you.
Titus covered his mouth with his hand and took several deep but rapid breaths. He thumbed quickly through the several sheets of papyrus that had been rolled together and held by the wax seal. Father’s final letter. His emotions churned as he clutched the sheets his father had held just before he died. Then he focused once more on his father’s final words.
I know this news comes as a shock and will cause you much grief, but I hope, after I tell you all that has happened to me since you posted to Thracia, that you will understand why I have chosen to die and why I tell you not to grieve too hard or too long. It is my deepest desire that you will choose to follow me in making the God of Israel your God and following Jesus as your Lord.
Titus’s head snapped back. Follow Father by becoming what killed him? What rational man would do that? He rolled his eyes and read on.
I begin with how I decided the God of Israel is the one true God. I had hoped to have this conversation in person during your next visit to Rome. Since that is not to be, I will try to write what I would have spoken to you then.
The teaching of the great philosophers seemed true to me for a long time, but that was before I began to compare them to what my own eyes have seen of the world. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that a philosophy could only be of value if it described the way the world truly is. I discovered that the philosophers I had admired most contradicted what I had seen myself. Shortly after you sailed for Perinthus, I began my search for a new philosophy without those contradictions.
I always considered Aristotle the wisest of philosophers, and I embraced his teaching wholeheartedly from my youth. At the core of his teaching was the existence of an effective cause for everything. I considered all I had seen of life, and if I looked deeply enough or back far enough in time, I could see the causes of almost everything. He also taught that nothing lasts forever, that everything changes over time. That was what I saw, too.
But I saw a terrible inconsistency in his teaching, and that disturbed me greatly. He taught that the universe was eternal, that it had no effective cause. But how could that be, that the universe as a whole was the opposite of all the parts within it?
Clearly, there was something wrong with this idea. The universe must also have an effective cause, so I began my search for a philosophy that taught the universe had a beginning and an effective cause that started it. I found it in the Jewish Scriptures. They tell how God created everything from nothing, how He is the effective cause of the whole universe.
Titus rubbed his cheek. Father was right. The parts and the whole should behave the same. He set the sheet aside and turned to the next.
I also considered Plato a great philosopher, but the more I saw of men and how they lived, the harder it became for me to agree with his teaching. He taught that cities and empires could be ruled by philosopher-kings: intelligent, self-controlled men who ruled based on wisdom and reason and placed the good of those they ruled above their own desires for power and wealth.
But as I examined history, I found men like this have never ruled. Emperor Trajan is as good a man as has ever ruled the Empire. By the standards of Rome, he’s a shining example. He has even provided for the care of orphans with food and education in Italia, but what about the rest of the Empire? He leads his legions out to conquer, killing and enslaving, making new orphans who will starve.
From the histories of empires and kingdoms that we have both read, you know that great rulers have always done so. Trajan condemns the men he has conquered to die like animals in the arena for the entertainment of the crowds. Where is the wisdom and goodness in that? Plato was wrong about the nature of man, so how could his philosophy be true?
Man is not good and wise; he naturally chooses evil. There are a few who choose kindness and mercy, and I hope I have been one of them, but it is cruelty and lust for power that rule. Rome is rotten at her core, and she rules vast lands with an iron hand. Man’s love of violence led to the games.
I expect to die in the arena tomorrow, killed by a lion or a gladiator’s sword. Thousands of Romans, including many men whom I have known for years, will be watching and will consider it good entertainment. Again, I found this understanding in the Jewish Scriptures, that man is naturally evil, selfish, rebellious against God. Man is a sinful being.
Titus placed the second sheet on the one beside him. He stroked the stack to flatten the curl. So far, what Father had written made sense. He could almost hear Father’s voice. Titus had spent so many hours with his best friend, Decimus, following Father’s logic from point to point when they were still youths. His lips tightened. Never again, thanks to the treachery of his brother. His mouth turned down as he focused on the next sheet.
In the Jewish Scriptures, I found the philosophy that explained everything I knew to be true about the world, but it is much more than a philosophy. In those same Scriptures, I met the God who made the universe. I discovered that He cared about men enough to reveal Himself to them so they could know Him. I learned of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and how each of them had met God.
I learned of Moses, who was told by God Himself to lead the people of Israel out of slavery in Egypt because God had promised the land of Judaea to Jacob’s children. God cared so much for His people that He gave Moses the very laws by which they should live. I learned of the many men who were prophets to whom God Himself spoke so His people, who no longer knew and worshiped Him, would return to Him.
From the beginning, He always wanted men to know Him and love Him. So I became a God-fearer, worshiping the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and I studied the Jewish Scriptures daily because I could learn about Him there.
Titus’s brow furrowed. Father had always said the Roman gods weren’t real, just characters in stories that were only believed by weak-minded men and women. So why would he think the Jewish god was any different? All gods had so-called prophets. Men could live well off what worshippers gave the so-called god they spoke for. For Father to think the Jewish god had real power to free the Jews from Egyptian slavery and give them their own land, that he actually cared about their welfare... That was nothing like what he’d taught Titus before. What was in the Jewish writings that led him to believe that?
He is a h
oly God, and He cannot tolerate sin in His presence. But sin is not just doing the things that He has forbidden or neglecting the things He has commanded; it is also choosing to treat God as if He didn’t exist.
In the Law He gave to Moses, He told His people the way to approach Him by covering their sins through blood sacrifice in their temple in Jerusalem. For over a thousand years, His people made sacrifices so they could approach Him. That ended when the temple was destroyed 44 years ago by Titus when he was putting down the rebellion in Judaea.
That created a terrible problem, or so I thought. God said the payment for sin always required blood sacrifice, but He let His temple be destroyed by Rome, so how was sin to be paid for? I was at a loss to explain how the true God, the one so powerful that He could make the entire universe, could allow Rome to destroy His temple and take away what allowed His people to approach Him.
Then I met a man who could explain it all. He has become one of my closest friends, but I won’t write his name here in case this letter is intercepted. I do not want to be the cause of his death in the arena, too. He told me of Jesus of Nazareth and how He came from heaven to make the final sacrifice for sins. He was the Son of God. He was sinless, and He made Himself the perfect sacrifice for all sin when He was crucified. After three days, He rose from the dead, proving His claim to be God.
The grandfather of my friend actually knew men who had been with Jesus after He rose. There could be no doubt of the truth that Jesus was the Son of God and the final perfect sacrifice.
Titus ran his fingers through his hair. A god taking human form? That happened all the time in the stories of the Greek and Roman gods, but those were only stories. Even in those stories, the god-man did it for his own pleasure, usually with a woman, not to become a sacrifice to let people approach a god.