“What do I care? They cannot threaten me.” Merrick took a drink. “They wouldn’t dare.”
Kalen sighed. “Ah, my king, you forget the delicate ways in which women can make each other suffer, not to mention us men. Women are delicate things—roses with thorns. Give it sunlight and pretty things and she’ll be happy and blossom. Touch one wrong and she’ll prick you. The wound will not kill but it will irritate for many days. They may not threaten a life or a crown, but they can make misery for those they choose to hate.”
“You sought to protect Juliana?” Merrick asked. “You didn’t know her.”
“You chose her, my king,” Kalen said. “You put her above all others, even if she doesn’t know it.”
“Then I thank you for making her stay in Valdis more tolerable for her.”
Kalen smirked and took a sip of wine to keep from answering.
“So then tell me this, my friend,” Merrick said, studying him, “if you are so sure Lady Juliana will remain here long enough to warrant protecting her—what is it you see?”
“Many things, my king,” Kalen answered, grinning. He wiggled his fingers at the three beautiful singers. “Right now I see that pretty little mermaid singing for your hall. Methinks she likes me.”
Merrick laughed. “Why am I drawn to Lady Juliana? What is it about her?”
“She is blessed,” Kalen said, taking another sip of wine. “You have said so yourself. Perhaps you are drawn to the trace of power over her that came with the blessing.”
“Then you see nothing more?” Merrick asked.
“I told you, my king, I see many things,” Kalen answered. “But to know the future is to know madness. There are things that cannot be changed. Sometimes it is better not to reveal.”
Merrick watched Juliana. She smiled and he felt jealousy that he was not the recipient of that smile. Kalen sighed, drawing his attention back. He could understand his friend’s point, but he would still like to know what would happen. Merrick would have used the divining basin, but the future didn’t appear clearly to him like it did with Kalen. To see something so muddled in confusion was worse than not knowing.
“Then do not tell me the future, tell me why I am drawn to her,” Merrick said after a pause. “And do not tell me it is because she was blessed. I know that is not the only reason for it.”
“The reason you are drawn is part of the future, my king.” Kalen took another sip of wine before setting the chalice down. Merrick continued to stare, watching Juliana’s eyes to see if they lit with promise of interest as she looked at her dance partner. Leaning to Merrick, Kalen whispered, “It’s because she can bear you a son.”
Merrick’s heart thumped hard. No. It couldn’t be. He looked at Kalen. The man wouldn’t meet his gaze. No. It was impossible.
Chapter Ten
A son? Merrick took a deep breath. A son? He could not have a son. In the history of the unblessed throne, the Unblessed King could not have an heir. The kingdom passed from one king to the other with death. Whoever killed the old king became the new. It was the same for the damned.
Mating was hard enough for the elfin race, but for him? With the power he held? It was impossible. Wasn’t it? Only the Blessed King had children to whom he passed his rule. Merrick had understood it the moment the power of his reign entered his body, as he understood it now. Kalen had to be mistaken.
Almost desperate, he watched Juliana. A son? A family? He’d lost his family. Wolfe and Ladon were dead. Ean was his enemy, made so by an eternity of battle between blessed and unblessed. There could never be a true peace between the kingdoms. The unblessed, by nature, sought to undo that which was blessed. The blessed sought to mend what was unblessed. The blessed creature gave birth to nature and light. The unblessed took nature and shadowed light. The blessed gave hope. The unblessed created fear. Only death would relinquish Merrick of his throne and without misfortune and suffering, he would cease to be. Without the unblessed, the blessed would cease as well. They were two very different sides to the same world.
No matter how fortunate he had started his life, the fear and hatred would eat at his spirit. Merrick was a necessary evil, but in the end he was still evil, held prisoner on the edge of darkness. He was feared, hated, blamed. The wicked thoughts that people carried, their sickening deeds, this was his burden to bear. His very power fed off fear and misfortune. Ean’s power fed off happiness and pleasure.
Out of the three great kingdoms, Merrick had it the worst. Ean would always know love. Lucien was not affected by hate or death. The Damned King drew pleasure from both. Merrick would know hate but crave love. His reign was made all the worse because he had known what it was like to feel the power that came from happiness, the energy that came from sexual pleasures, from being desired not feared. The Unblessed Kings before him had known mischief and fear and continued to know it after their coronation. But Merrick had known happiness and contentment. He had been loved by his people, his family. To have had it and lost it made his suffering all that much worse, for he would never be content again. That was why he would never know happiness. That was why he would never have a son. His suffering made him a powerful king.
Merrick leaned his mouth against his fist as he stared at Juliana. But if there was a chance that he would be allowed a bit of happiness in his dismal world, didn’t he have to take it? And Juliana? Already she fought him, resented him. Was that to be the price of his son? Her hatred and disdain or worse, her mortal death? Everything in his rule came with a hefty price. What would be the price of this? Would the fates make him choose between his son and his Juliana?
“See, madness,” Kalen said sadly, interrupting his thoughts. “Now you will be plagued by the unknown. Be careful that you don’t squeeze her too tight, my friend, lest you crush her.”
“I cannot free her from this. I cannot let her go,” Merrick said softly, so only Kalen could hear. He watched Juliana dance. Just the idea of losing her tore at him. “I never could.”
“Perhaps you were not meant to free her,” Kalen assured him, though his face did not give comfort. “Fate chose for her as it chooses for all of us. It may not decide the outcome, but it sets the rules in its favor.”
“A son.” Merrick closed his eyes. Kalen was right. With just one small piece of the future, Merrick could drive himself into the well of insanity. Yet, knowing this, he couldn’t stop himself as he lifted his hand to the ceiling, pushing back the stone arches of his hall. The brick fell apart, floating up into the night sky, spreading so that he might see the stars. The torches blew out, leaving the hall to the blue moonlight streaked with the glow of the dragon’s breath. His guests stopped, looking up in awe at his great magic.
Merrick stepped down from the table to get to Juliana. The wizard he’d made entertain them blocked his path. His old eyes looked up in worry. “My king, a moment of your time, please. I have come to plead with you. You cannot keep rearranging nature. You cannot know the cost of your whims. Already you have ended the seasons. Without the snow we see the forest—”
“Then bring back the snows,” Merrick said, dismissing the man. Most wizards were zealots, forever worrying. They served their purpose, but would never know the things Merrick did.
“But the stars here,” the man persisted, “you cannot rearrange the heavens without consequence.”
“Kalen,” Merrick said. Kalen stood. Merrick gestured to the man. “Do not question my whims again, wizard. If you seek my council, then you will ask for an audience.”
“But, my king, you do not take audience. We have tried. Please—” The wizard gasped as Kalen took his arm and escorted him from the hall.
Merrick ignored him. Juliana stared up at the stars, her mouth agape with amazement. He liked the look of awe on her features, everything he took for granted was so spectacular to her eyes. He found he liked performing small tricks just to watch her face. Lightly, he touched her arm, drawing her pretty eyes to him. The blue was much like that of the nighttime heavens.
Her smile fell slightly. Merrick motioned to the singers, ordering them to sing. The hall was quiet as he took her into his arms.
* * *
Juliana shivered as Merrick touched her. He was looking at her intently, in a way she’d never seen before. His hand lifted, taking her fingers up as he pulled her close to his body. She struggled, trying to pull free. He didn’t let go and she was frightened by the way his closeness made her feel.
He slowly circled, taking her with him in the elfin dance she’d seen the others do. Only when he moved, it was slower, more seductive. One hand gripped the small of her back, holding her close, the other pulled along their sides. She felt his body pressing into hers, swaying against hers in little caresses. She glanced around, seeing the eyes of the hall on her. Merrick lifted her hand with his, using his finger to tip her chin up, drawing her gaze back to him.
“They do not matter,” he said so only she could hear. “You dance with me now.”
Her fingers dug into his hand as he turned her. The ground beneath her feet shifted and the stone slowly lifted them above the others. She trembled, glancing down at the hall floor. The dragon’s breath grew closer, surrounding them. It passed like they were inside a bubble. Juliana gasped. Hiding her face in Merrick’s chest, she clung to him. The fire did not burn but she felt its warmth. When she pulled back, he was studying her intently.
“You still don’t believe I will protect you, do you?” he asked.
Juliana didn’t dare answer. She stared at him, worrying her lip with her teeth, as she tried to peek at the dragon. Another gush of fire surrounded them. She tensed, unable to help it.
“Am I your enemy, Juliana?” Merrick’s voice was so gentle she barely heard him.
“Yes,” she answered. “You hold me prisoner, so that must mean you’re my enemy.”
“Then it is done,” he said.
“What is done?” Juliana shivered.
“All that you’ve asked of me.”
Juliana was quiet, unsure as to what she should say.
“I’ve done what you asked of me. You controlled me. I let you. You commanded me. You called to me. Do you see what I have done for you, Juliana?” Merrick asked, studying her face. He pulled her hand with his to her cheek, caressing her. His arm tightened along her waist, forcing her tight to his chest. “I have done everything you wanted of me.”
She bit the inside of her lip, breathing hard, as she glanced down again. The floor was far away, the people below them so small.
The stars were bright, close, breathtaking. The light of the dragon’s fire surrounded them in flames and her world alternated between fire and night. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She looked at Merrick. No. He was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.
“I have been your hostage, Juliana. You wanted me to rescue you from your fate. I have rescued you, for your fate has changed since that day in Bellemare’s garden. You asked for an adventure, I gave it to you. You wanted me to take you away to foreign lands. I have done that. You asked me to show you the castles of your enemies. You call me an enemy and here is my castle. You asked to dance under the stars by the light of a dragon’s breath. There is your dragon, my lady, and there are your stars. I have done everything you asked. Now I would have you do your part.”
Juliana’s whole body shook. She had said those things, but she’d thought she was alone in the gardens. The words were merely the wistful daydreams of a silly girl. She hadn’t known he listened. “I did not ask you to hurt Eadward.”
Merrick let her go. His eyes narrowed, boring into her. She stumbled back and he took an aggressive step forward. To her amazement, her foot landed on stone. As she walked, a path materialized under her feet. She shook, her steps hesitated by fear. The fire continued to light the night, weaving snakelike paths around them.
Merrick stalked her, almost desperately, gesturing wide as he spoke, “I gave you the adventure you begged for. I had the wizards end the snow. I kept the dragon from attacking you again. I protected you. I did all this for you. I have done what you asked and still I am your enemy. Do you think I summon the very stars for everyone? I do not rearrange my world for just anyone. And yet I have rearranged it all for you. I’m exhausted, Juliana.”
“Free me from this, Merrick.” Juliana looked down. There was no escaping the high perch.
Merrick stepped to her, pulling her once more into his dance. “You haunt me. I can never let you go. Don’t you understand that? I gave you what you wanted and now you must give me what I asked for. I’m tired of you fighting me. I have kept my part of the bargain.”
“My undying loyalty for an eternity,” she said, recalling his words.
“Yes,” he whispered, drawing her closer, spinning faster until everything but his face blurred. “Love me as your king. Fear me. Obey me. Stay here with me and I will give you everything you desire so long as it does not go against my will.”
“I’m mortal. I cannot stay an eternity.” Juliana looked down to the spinning floor. Merrick cupped her chin, drawing her eyes back up to his.
“Here,” he said, “here you can. I can suspend time for you. You will look as you do now, forever. Promise me you will never leave the Black Palace without me. Swear it to me. Give me your word. Let my powers feed off your fear of me. Let me have all of you, Juliana.”
Live forever by Merrick’s side? Why? It wasn’t as if he loved her. Did he? Could he? What was he asking of her? “Why?”
“I can give you everything you desire, but you can never leave me,” he said. “You must belong to me. You have only me to fear, if you so wish. My subjects will not hurt you. I will protect you.”
“Why?” she insisted.
“Do not seek those answers. They will not be what you wish to hear.” He spun her faster, pulling her to his chest. The stars made white streaks across the fiery heavens. “I have my reasons.”
“I must have an answer.” Dizzy, she closed her eyes. He slowed his spins, stopping completely. She felt weak. As her knees gave out, he held her up.
“I would have you ease the burden of my days. I want you to be here, ever faithful by my side, no matter what I do, as trapped as I by my life.” Merrick’s voice was pained. The loneliness in him called to her.
“You tricked me,” she accused. “You said you took the children.”
“I gave you the adventure you asked for.” Merrick’s grip on her arms tightened. “You walked out of the palace. I compelled you, but I did not force you. You accepted my offer by your actions. For that alone I can bind you to me, but it will not be pleasant. Do not make me force you, Juliana. Choose on your own.”
“I did foolishly ask for those things and you did give them to me. I will not go back on my word. You will have loyalty Merrick, but loyalty does not mean I have to stay with you. I can be loyal from afar.” His heart beat against her cheek and his body warmed her. Juliana wasn’t sure why she agreed, but she was compelled to do so. Honor dictated that she keep her end of the bargain, but there was more to it than that. She felt connected to Merrick and the thin thread of hope that he could come to love her made her say the words. “I will never betray you to another, but I cannot promise to stay.”
He pulled back, his eyes looking deep into hers. His mouth came to hover close. When he spoke, she felt his warm breath against her lips. “Promise me you will never let another man touch you. Give me your word that your body is mine and mine alone. Say you belong to me and will never deny me my pleasure when and how I seek it.”
Her breath was ragged. The brush of his lips as he spoke filled her with longing. She wanted him, wanted the sinful pleasure she found in his arms. At the moment, Juliana didn’t care. She wanted to be Merrick’s, wanted to belong to him. If she did leave him, she would never be with another. He’d done something to her.
However, just because she thought to love him, didn’t make it right, didn’t make the emotion pure. It was a sin to lay with a man who was not her husband. Clinging to her
sanity, she said, “I cannot give you that.”
* * *
Merrick needed her to say the words. If she was to bear his son, he needed to know that it was his son and only his son her body would carry. He could not risk losing this chance because she’d given her body or her heart to someone else. Besides, he did not want to share her. She was his, had been since that first time he’d seen her pretending to slay a dragon.
He knew what he asked of her. He knew the life he offered and still he insisted. “Say it and I promise always to give you pleasure when we come together. I can make you feel for me. All I ask is that your body is mine alone, that you come to me willingly and do not deny me. If you will not give yourself over completely, then compromise and let me have rule over your body.”
“You must never hurt Nicholas or my family.”
“Done.” Merrick held his breath, knowing if she pledged to him she would keep her word always.
Closing her eyes, she breathed, “Yes.”
“Say it,” he demanded.
“I pledge my body to you to use as you will. There will never be another lover in my bed. But I will escape you, Merrick. I will not be your prisoner forever.”
Pleasure exploded in him. He could tell she was scared. He drew strength from her fear. “There is no escape from these walls. You have given your word. You are bound to me.”
Screams echoed over the great hall. Merrick looked down to his subjects, watching as they scattered.
“My lord! The enemy threatens the gate,” Lord Kalen shouted from below. His voice was almost excited at the prospect of a fight. Several of the Berserks cheered.
“Are you at war?” Juliana asked him, clinging to his arms as she bent to look over the side of the stone path. Her fear grew, empowering him even as he hated seeing the worry on her face.
Merrick eyed her. It was curious that he would be marched upon the moment she bound herself to him. Caressing her cheek as he willed the stone beneath their feet to lower them to the ground, he said, “I am now.”
King of the Unblessed Page 18