“I learned to control them,” I explained and flapped my wings to show her I knew what I was doing, before I soared up into the air, leaving her behind with a gasp in her throat and wonder in her eyes.
As she was staring up at me from below, I could suddenly see how she was literally the center of my universe. Everything in my perception centered around her. The trees at the far end of the fields were just a frame around a white painting with Claire in its center. The rainbows of the ice-crystals were a reflection of her eye color. The wind was a melody, gently singing with her heartbeat. She was everywhere in that picture. Her emotions drawing silver lines of amazement and adoration.
I circled there for a little bit, enjoying the freedom and care-free feeling until Claire bent to pick up my clothes and her face disappeared from my view. I used the moment of inattentiveness to return to the ground and sneak up on her from behind.
“Want to see what it’s like up there?” I surprised her and scooped her up, pulling her up with me. We were in the air before she realized what I was doing and there was a mixture of worry and thrill there in her feelings—maybe a bit of motion sickness, too.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall,” I whispered into her ear and tightened my arms around her. She felt safer this way, I could tell. She was shivering and not just from the cold.
When she finally risked a peek down onto the snowy ground, astonishment and awe were written in her emotions and face. “That’s incredible!”
I laughed as her excitement fueled my own perception of the world from above. Being up there with her was the most intimate moment we’d ever had, our connection pulsating in my chest. The little part of my soul which was now living inside her heart was so close to me, I felt whole.
For a couple of minutes, I allowed myself to enjoy the sensation, then I noticed Claire’s temperature drop. With a last flap of my wings, I initiated the descent and circled back to the ground, setting her feet on the ground next to mine. But I didn’t think of letting go of her. My lips were ready to touch hers and I didn’t wait for her to realize what I was thinking before I pulled her closer and kissed her. She responded without delay, opening her mouth and inhaling my breath, making me shiver.
“I’m sure I’ve never in my whole life experienced anything that was in any way comparable to this,” she confessed, giving me a second to breathe. I chuckled, a little proud to be able to immerse her so deeply into my world and having her approve of it.
“The flying or the kisses?” I joked.
She tilted her head and looked at the sky with fake-pondering eyes. “Both, I guess.”
How cute she was when she was authentic like that, how dazzling. No facades, no defense mechanisms. Just Claire—my Claire. I pulled her back to my lips, unable to let anything come between us and felt her melt back into my arms. It was perfection at its most desirable level until she shivered from cold as much as pleasure. With a flick of movement, I wrapped my wings around her, shielding her from the icy wind.
“Sorry,” I shrugged when she opened her eyes wide with surprise.
She shook her head, peeling herself away from me. “No, it’s fine…just unexpected.”
Her expression was amusing, between perplexed and charmed. “I thought you might be freezing.”
She eyed me for a second.
“Speaking of that—you are the one flying around in the middle of frosty January wearing nothing but your pants. Aren’t you freezing to death?”
“That’s one of the good things about being an angel—you’re neither affected by heat or cold.”
“That’s weird.”
Weird wasn’t even beginning to describe all the things I was suddenly capable of.
“Yeah, I suppose it is,” I laughed. “But very useful.”
Claire mirrored my smile and walked around me to examine my wings more closely, her breath a warm breeze on my feathers and skin. As her fingers touched the area where the wings originated from my shoulders, it tickled a little bit and there was a tiny uncontrolled movement shaking through the wing.
“What are you doing?” I wondered aloud, feeling a bit like a science project.
She remained silent, tracing the outline of my wing and I focused hard to find the exact muscles under her touch. When she reached the arch where the wing folded, I managed to flex it just a little, to make her gentle touch last a second longer.
“That’s so—”
“Abnormal?” I suggested when she couldn’t find an adjective.
“No—perfect.” She continued to run her fingers over the feathers while she spoke. “But why are you showing me all this now?”
Ah, yes, the question I had no real answer to. Why was I drawing her back into my life, into the dangers of being with me? How could I justify it?
“You see, as there is no chance to protect you by keeping you in the dark, I can just show you everything,” I gave her the one answer I kept giving myself whenever my guilty conscience kicked in. “It’s the best I can do now—let you know what you’re dealing with, so you’ll be prepared next time they strike.” There was going to be a next time. However much I wanted to believe Jaden’s strike might have killed all the demons, the evil wasn’t so easily defeated. There was going to be a next attack and I would rather die than see Claire get hurt again.
“You know that today is very important, Claire? Today I’m going to tell you everything that’s important for us to survive. I’m going to show you all of my powers and explain some of the boundaries.” She didn’t respond in words and I couldn’t read her emotions when she was standing behind me. “I want you to have the best chance to come out of all this unharmed.” With a swift movement, I turned and put my hands on her shoulders, holding her in place so she would hear me. “Do you understand?”
She nodded, but there wasn’t any fear in her feelings. She was ignoring the warning in my words. This was about our survival, not about some circus trick.
“Do you understand?” I used a rougher tone, desperate to make her understand, and as I shook her, she shouted at me.
“Yes, I do. No need to shatter me to pieces.”
I reined in my uncontrolled strength and took my hands off of her shoulders.
“Sorry,” I apologized. “I always forget that I’m stronger than I used to be—not easy to gain control over. Teleporting—alright, that’s something you do at will as is spreading my wings—but speed and strength are definitely harder to handle. I have to be very careful in everyday life not to stand out with one of those abnormalities.”
Claire took a few steps away from me, suppressing in her expression how high the waves of concern and stress were under the surface.
“How strong exactly are you?” she asked, still walking.
I didn’t go after her, giving her space to calm down. As for myself, I needed to push back my own horror scenarios. I sat down on the ground and closed my eyes, soaking up the sun. Claire’s feet were slowly moving beside me as she turned around, probably checking if I was still there.
“I don’t know if I could lift a plane, but I can do about one and a half tons of weight—tried it with the Jeep.” I smiled to myself, imagining Claire’s face as she took in this information.
“How?” Her voice was incredulous. “I mean—how do you happen to be able to lift cars? Is this an angel thing?”
“Guess so.” I opened my eyes and looked up at her, finding the exact expression I had expected, and feeling the need to appreciate it from up close, I teleported to Claire, positioning myself right in front of her within kissing range.
“Stop doing that.” She jumped and again I was reminded of how different our chances were should we ever meet the demons again.
“Sorry—” I wiped the smile off my face, “—but with the little time we have together, every second I spend walking towards you just seems like a waste of time when I could easily spend it next to you.”
There was no need to read her emotions, or for her to sp
eak, to know we were thinking the same thing. Who knew when they would come after us—it was only a matter of time.
As I bent down to kiss her, she turned to the side in my embrace, looking at me over her shoulder. I stopped mid-air, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind.
“Why do your eyes do that thing? It looks a little alien—honestly.” I felt her breath on my lips and forced myself to pull away, no matter how tempting it would be to just seal her mouth with a kiss.
My glowing eyes were the one thing hard to control and hard to predict when they would appear. I was suddenly self-conscious, something which had so far been Claire’s part in our conversations.
“Don’t know.” I thought of hiding my face from her vision, but then the draw of her eyes was stronger than my sense of self-preservation. “The glowing seems to appear only when I feel the urge to spread my wings and when I feel strong emotions. That’s what triggered it—my wing-spreading—in the first place, the strong emotions I feel when I am with you.”
And I was rewarded for being brave enough to face her. Her cheeks turned crimson as she went back in time and her emotions returned to that state of yearning for my nearness. I couldn’t hold back a quiet chuckle. She was adorable when she tried to hide her desire for me.
“No need to be embarrassed.”
She just continued to blush and if she wouldn’t hear my words, she might feel I was serious if I showed her I was feeling the same emotions and was willing to act on them. She didn’t object this time when I leaned in and kissed her. Heat rushed through my body, but Claire shivered.
“It’s getting cold.” I tore away, concerned about her health. “You’re shivering.” I might be unaffected by the temperature, but she was human and fragile. I needed to get her back to the car. Ignoring her attempts to pull my face back toward her, I slung my jacket around her and took her hand.
“Let’s go… Maybe go is not the right word—” I took a long, last look at the white landscape and the feeling of freedom that came with it.
18
Protector
Teleporting back to reality wasn’t exactly easy for me. It came with a rush of fear of losing Claire again. And so I drove quietly, letting her emotions fill the car. They were darkening with every turn I took toward the city, as were the sky and my own mood. I would need to find a way to brighten her mood. It was enough if I was depressed, we didn’t both have to suffer from our impossible situation.
“What are you thinking?” I parked the Jeep in the garage and waited for Claire’s answer, which came through in her fearful emotions rather than words.
“I won’t leave you alone—don’t worry.” With a touch of my finger on her cheekbone, I reassured her I would be with her—forever. I wasn’t quite sure if she understood, though, that this was it. My decision was irreversible. I was going to be hers for eternity. Even when she grew old, and left this world, I would cherish her memory until judgment day.
Now wasn’t the time to share this with her. We were going inside in a minute and I didn’t want to frighten her or push her feelings out of balance. With a quick glance at her face, I opened the door and waited for her. I was there when she closed her door and took her hand, wanting her close beside me when we walked up to the house in the veil of the pending night.
Antonio barked and loped toward us, almost knocking Claire over with excitement as she bent down to touch his head.
“Nice to see you, too,” she laughed, forgetting the looming danger for a second or two as we walked in, the dog at our heels.
“Good evening, Miss Gabriel.” Geoffrey was standing in the entrance hall, ready to take our jackets.
“Good evening, Geoffrey.”
It was obvious, Claire was still overwhelmed by having a butler around. It was hard for her to accept that someone would do things for her to make her life easier. I understood. Geoffrey was more like family than an employee for me.
“Hey Geoffrey,” I swung my jacket on a hook behind the door with somewhat exaggerated human clumsiness. “We won’t stay long. Are my parents home?”
“I’m afraid not,” Geoffrey informed me. “But Master Benedict asked me to tell you, Sir, that he joined them for dinner at the Masons’. They won’t be back before nine.”
“Thanks, Geoffrey.” No one would miss me if I wasn’t here tonight. “Let’s go.” I wound my fingers around hers and led the way upstairs. It was time to show Claire how serious I was about being with her and protecting her.
“Pack your things,” I told her and watched Antonio curl up in his corner. He would be fine without me overnight. Ben would take care of him in the morning.
“Why?”
“Because I’m driving you home in a minute.”
A hint of doubt was there in the air as she just stood there in my room, waiting, and wondering if I was going to kick her out again. Had she not learned anything in these past twenty-four hours?
“You have to go to school tomorrow and I need to go to some classes. You’ll need fresh clothes and your stuff for school,” I explained.
“Okay.” She turned and grabbed her clothes and her toiletries, and stuffed everything into her bag, eyes tight with caution. “Does that mean you’re going to stay with me tonight?” She was reluctant to ask, probably fearing the answer. But I wasn’t going to disappoint her.
“Yes, it does.”
Relief relaxed the tension in her entire body.
“I don’t want to leave you alone. Someone has to keep an eye on things around you.”
“Jaden does—I guess,” she pointed out.
“Jaden’s not enough.” She shrank away from my harsh tone. “He failed once—he could again.” I didn’t care how much he had played a part in saving her. If he slipped again, I would be there to cover for him. Claire wouldn’t fall into the demons’ hands again. Not on my watch.
“Are you saying Jaden’s not a good guardian angel?”
“I wouldn’t say not good—but obviously not good enough to keep you safe.” Jaden had kept her in the dark, he had incapacitated her. Not that I wasn’t grateful he had spared her the pain of torture, but it hadn’t helped Claire to stay uninformed. She needed to know everything. I had started with showing her all the abilities I had, and now it was time to share the ugly truth about the demons’ intents. “Didn’t he tell you what it was that hurt so much while he’d caused you to black out?”
She stared at me, blankly.
“The demons tried to peel my mark off your soul.” Why was it so hard for her to understand just how lucky she was to have escaped at all? “Usually there are only two outcomes if they do so. Either you die in their attempt or they succeed and tear a part of your soul from you. Having gone through this, nobody stays in their right state of mind afterward.” For a split second, I wondered which would be the easier option if they tore Claire’s soul from me. Would dying be a mercy?
Jaden had done her a great favor, blending out the agony, but the truth was, he might have put her in even more danger by showing himself to her. “But what Jaden did,” I complained, “showing himself to you, interfering with the inevitable path of your destiny—he should never have done it. As a guardian angel, he’s bound to never show himself to his fosterling. He was being reckless.” Who knew how those vengeful creatures would punish Claire for his interference…
“So you would have preferred me to die? Or go insane with the pain of a split soul?” Claire accused me, hurt and disappointed by my outburst.
“No,” I tried to appease her. “No, that’s not what I’m saying, Claire.”
“Then what are you saying, Adam?” She clenched her fingers around the strap of her bag on her shoulder and threw me a piercing look which hit me right in the heart.
What was I doing? I shouldn’t be fighting with her. Not about this. Not about anything. I should be glad things had turned out the way they had. Without Jaden’s bold move there might not even be a Claire to fight with. I flinched at the thought.
“On the contrary—I’m very grateful that he broke the code to protect you. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t. You could be dead by now and I would blame myself forever.” I left it at that, pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt from the closet, and left the room to fetch my toiletries. I took my time packing my toothbrush, using the minute to calm down. When I returned, she was standing in the same spot. I could tell she was sorry for her tone of voice. It was a silent reconciliation, and as we were driving to her place, the car filled with worries again.
Claire was deep in thought, and I couldn’t bear that she wasn’t sharing what was on her mind. As we were sharing pieces of the same souls, weren’t we supposed to share our burdens, equally?
She shook her head as if she was answering my wordless question.
“Why so quiet?” I couldn’t wait any longer.
“What if they strike again?”
“I’ll protect you.”
“Yeah, but what if you can’t?”
“Then let’s hope they act in groups of less than four.” I thought back at her description of the ambush and how Jaden had handled four demons. I wished I had an indication of how much of a chance I’d actually stand against even one of them. “Or let’s hope Jaden’s still out there somewhere.”
“Why wouldn’t he be?” She sounded alarmed.
“He did something he shouldn’t have done, remember?” I reminded her. “Repeatedly.”
She didn’t object or defend her guardian angel. Instead, she punished my attack on him with silence, making me bite my tongue about all the other things I had to say about him. Why hadn't he checked on her since he’d left her behind in the woods?
Claire didn’t speak until we had gotten out of the car and she had greeted Nigel, who was sitting on the porch, inspecting us with his huge, yellow eyes. I followed her closely, constantly glancing over my shoulder, worried of missing any threat. But the neighborhood was quiet.
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