Embarrassed, I lowered my eyes back into the book, not really reading, but listening to the sound of hundreds of feet shuffling through the school building. The celebrations for the school anniversary were about to start and the teachers were probably herding the students into the hall like sheep. Not much longer, and I would get to see Claire’s face and be able to make sure she was alright.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump.
Might be late—school-anniversary-
celebration-thingy. Love you,
Claire.
I didn’t like the content of her text. After exercising patience for hours, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stay in my chair for one more minute. I hadn’t slept during the night and the longer I kept waiting, the heavier my eyelids got. Being tired would mean being inattentive and I could miss something, I could make mistakes…
The girl with the chestnut brown hair peered over the coffee machine as I made an exasperated sound and started typing.
Waiting for you in the parking lot.
Take care. Love you more,
Adam.
Then I got to my feet and addressed the girl on my way to the counter.
“Can I get one of these to go, please?” I pointed at the largest-sized paper cup and laid down the books while I fished for my wallet.
“Med student?” she asked while waiting for the cup to fill.
I nodded, trying to not get tangled up in any more conversations.
“Which field?” she tried to encourage exactly what I was trying to prevent.
“Haven’t decided,” I answered briefly and searched for the right bill in my wallet before I picked up the full cup from the counter. “Thanks for the coffee.” I handed her the money and left. I was filled with the anticipation of Claire and the feeling that came with being next to her.
At my car, I dropped the books onto the back seat again and leaned against the hood, staring at the school building and waiting for the doors to spit out the entire student body, including my Claire.
I saw her from a distance, breaking away from her friends.
“I think Adam’s going to drive—if it’s okay, I’ll bring him with me? You could bring Richard…” She was speaking to Lydia, not letting on any of her underlying stress and fear.
“Sure. Nine then. I’ll bring Richard.” The finality of her statement made me wonder if I should first ask Claire what they had agreed upon or if I should get upset right away.
Lydia headed off to her car, and Claire pulled her jacket tighter and turned her sky-like eyes toward the parking lot, scanning for my car and eventually spotting me.
A rush of emotion boiled up under her calm surface as she gracefully wound her way through the rows of parked cars. It pleased me how her attraction toward me was displaying in her aura.
“Sorry I’m late,” she breathed onto my lips. She kissed me the moment she put her arms around me. I lifted mine to embrace her, balancing the coffee in one hand.
Her heart stuttered just a little bit and I smiled to myself.
“I missed you,” she admitted as she felt my lips curl.
“Me too.” The world was a better place when she was securely enclosed by my arms.
As I looked down at her face, kissing her on the forehead, she ogled up at me and once more I was mesmerized by the depth of her feelings. It was only with great effort on my side that I was able to release her from my arms and watch her climb into my car. At least it was my car, not Sporty’s or anyone else.
“How was your day?” I got in and turned up the heat, turning all vents on her, so she wouldn’t freeze.
“The whole school is talking about Colina.” She swallowed, suppressing the horror of the memories. “Then there was the fifty-year Aurora High School anniversary celebration—boring speeches, complete waste of time.”
I had to laugh at how bravely she was coping with everything, not because it was funny, but because it should be me who was strong, brave. But I felt like a coward next to her when she just turned the page and continued with the next day. One day at a time.
“And Lyd, Amber, and I decided to meet for a game of pool tonight,” she informed me, watching my face change to display how upset this made me. “Lydia’s bringing Richard, so I thought we could go there, too.”
Hadn’t she learned a thing? If I had admired her for how bravely she faced life when there was little hope for us, I now wondered if she was suicidal.
Claire watched me from the side, weighing how far she could push me without me steering the car off the bridge we were crossing. I tightened my fingers around the wheel, making sure I’d be prepared when the moment came.
Self-doubt and frustration were there in the air, stirred by the heater. I couldn’t help but notice yet again how fragile she was. Any gesture from me could push her out of balance. Despite her bravery, which I envied, despite her love for me, she had a lack of judgment when it came to self-preservation. Or maybe that was exactly why she’d fallen in love with me to begin with. When I pulled into the driveway, Claire still hadn’t spoken. It was better for both of us. I couldn’t predict how I would react if she pushed me over the edge—I remembered the incident after the library and cringed away from what I’d found I was capable of.
At home, I led the way to my room and trusted she would follow. I was a speck in the ocean of my thoughts, being thrown back and forth in the waves. What if the demons came to the pool hall? What if they attacked right there? There wouldn’t be a way to escape. And they would take down everyone around us if that meant they’d get to us.
Claire sat down on my couch and watched me pace the room. There were so many things I wanted to do at once: shout at her for even considering it, plead with her to abandon the idea, make her feel guilty for putting us both at risk, tell her what a wonderful idea it was and just go with it, ignore all the dangers that came with it… There was no way to tell which strategy she would respond to. Pacing back and forth wouldn’t help me change Claire’s mind. And I couldn’t simply forbid it, could I? When I eventually found it bearable to sit down, Claire had folded her hands, eyes still on me, concern more pronounced than any other emotion in her aura.
Wasn’t her happiness all that counted? Hadn’t I promised myself to make it my personal responsibility? How could I deny her anything? How could I take that one thing from her that might help her forget she had a target on her back?
“What’s wrong?” she interrupted my thoughts, impatient but also immensely cautious with her tone, as if scared to trigger an even worse reaction.
Was she really asking this? Wasn’t it obvious to her how she would put herself and me in even greater danger by taking unnecessary risks like this?
I needed a deep breath in order to control my voice before I locked my eyes on hers, reading all the insecurities, all the hopes, and all the stubbornness there. “What do you think is wrong?”
Claire flinched at the sound of my voice. It was different, dangerous, cold somehow. And I felt unlike I had ever felt before. There was something new rising in my chest, an all-consuming force, screaming for vindication.
“You’re angry.” It was a mere whisper. She was scared of me. For the first time, I could feel fear in her emotional climate, and it only fueled the force between my ribs.
I lowered my chin, careful to stay in control of myself, a part of me fascinated with that power running through my veins and the other part appalled by the sheer thought of it.
“With me,” she assumed and darkness filled the space where hope had been half an hour ago. She felt misunderstood, rejected, unloved…
Something clicked in my brain and the coldness in my chest retreated into a corner, purring and biding its time until I would slip again.
“Sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” With a quick motion, I got up from my chair and sat next to her instead. She was still petrified from my behavior, so I gently placed her hand between mine and turned it over so I could run my fingers along her pal
m. I still didn’t know what was going on with me. However, I was certain, now wasn’t the time to share.
“It’s just—you’re so precious to me, and you seem to simply not understand how dangerous it is to give them chances to attack.” It was part of the truth, not the full truth, but it had to suffice.
“Why can I go to school, then? There are as many people there as at the pool hall or in the streets…why school, but not the pool hall?” she protested and all the options from before flashed through my head once more. Should I plead with her? Or reason?
“It’s less likely the demons will infiltrate a school than a pool hall and other public places,” I chose to reason.
“Why did you take me to your mother’s concert, then? That was public,” she wouldn’t let it go.
“Not really. My father has known all the attending families for years now. I don’t think they are demons. Nobody knew you were going, except for me. There was practically no risk at all,” I countered, unwilling to let her talk me into something.
“Who would know I would be there tonight—except Amber and Lydia?”
“Yes. True, but you don’t know what kind of people will be there.” All kinds of people. Students, Sporty, who by the way I still didn’t trust, and maybe some demons…one never knew. It was a public place.
Clair went into silent protest, her emotions imploding around her and she was my brave girl once more, just this time she was enduring my anger instead of the fear of demonic creatures. What was I doing? Why couldn’t I just be a supportive boyfriend? I glanced at the window and caught my reflection, eyes sparkling green. I was the angel, the protector. And Claire, sweet, vulnerable Claire, was collateral damage in my drama.
“I’m really sorry.” I shook my head, unable to even think what had pushed me to act like that a minute ago. “I have no idea what made me so angry. I was thinking about you in the crowd at the bar—how they could come at you from every angle and how I wouldn’t be able to stop them.” I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them fervently. “I can’t lose you now.”
Her eyes were on mine, trying to unearth something, but then she gave up.
“So we won’t go tonight?” Resignation filled the once electrified air between us, as she leaned back on the couch, letting the thought sink in.
“I think it’s better we don’t,” I gave my honest opinion, unwilling to think of what the alternative might mean for us when it came to the demons. But there was a second side to this, the side which was banking on Claire’s happiness, and something inside my heart was pushing me to speak without thinking it through. “But if you would like to go there so badly, I would be a demon myself keeping you from it.” I wrinkled my forehead. Jenna’s concert had given her so much. She’d escaped for an entire evening—and how much pleasure had it given me to watch her immerse in the music. This might be just as good for her. “You need some normality, some fun, some life—” I tried to convince myself it was okay to give in, to take the popular choice and make her happy rather than the rational one and keep her safe. “It’s unnatural, the way you live, always in fear and never lighthearted like a normal teenager…” There was nothing normal about her, not for me. Not ever. She was a part of me, our hearts and souls intertwined.
“I guess I lost the lightheartedness a few years ago, it’s nothing new, carrying the heavy with me—since my parents died—”
A sharp pain flashed through her and I felt it in my own chest, proof and a reminder of our connection. Her parents’ death never left her short of sorrow and I had experienced it several times. Still, whenever it hit me, it was as if it was for the first time. She needed to get away from it. She needed some normality.
“You, too, seem to brood too much, by the way.” While I was still pondering how to lift her out of that dark hole, she seemed to have a new idea of how to win me onto her side.
Without further warning, she swung her leg across me and slid onto my lap, her knees at my sides and wound her fingers into mine. Her mood, unexpected as it came, took me by such surprise that I reacted by instinct rather than thought and will. I leaned back and looked up at her, hair falling into her face and lips curling up as she was planning something I was certain I would approve of.
“What are you doing?” I asked more for tactical reasons. If she thought about it, it might buy me some time to think about why I had been arguing with her.
“What every normal girl in my position would do.” She lowered her face to my level and kissed me, gently at first, then with growing intensity, fostering the heat which was already rising in my body. I wanted to speak, but my tongue wouldn’t follow my command anymore. It was tasting her lower lip and her mouth opened, making way for it to slide further. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her breathing was a rush of heat in my mouth. My hands broke free from hers, racing to the back of her neck and grabbing her hair, locking her against me. She shivered with desire and it blew through me like a force of nature. All channels were open for whatever she wanted.
I allowed my fingers to trace down her throat and along her collarbone, until I reached the top of her shirt and let them linger for a moment, enjoying how her chest arched under my touch, then slowly opened the buttons, one by one until I could easily slip it over her shoulders. Her hands weren’t quick enough to get to my own shirt, and I pulled away from her kiss, just long enough to slip it over my head and drop it beside me. She was marveling at me, mouth open, still catching her breath, and putting a smile on my face.
Unable to bear the distance much longer, I pulled her back into my arms, running my hands down her back and feeling her silky skin. She sighed and I lost control of my urges. Without realizing it was happening, I teleported us to my bed, lying on top of her now rather than sitting under her. She stopped and opened her eyes, confusion louder than anything in her emotions.
“Sorry.” I was a bit embarrassed at my loss of control but then I was also amused by Claire’s face. Knowing this was it, for now, I rolled off her body and knelt beside her. “I didn’t mean to.”
She burst out with laughter, a rush of joy running through her.
“I love to see you smile,” I commented, ready to trade any danger to get just one glimpse of this. “It makes me sad how serious and dangerous your world is. I would give anything to make it safe again. I want you to be happy.” If only there was a way…
“I’m happy with you,” she insisted and tried to get me to continue where I’d stopped before. But it wasn’t for now. Our time would come. I kissed her a couple of times, just to show her that everything was alright between us.
“I love you.” Her words were sweet as honey as they trickled into my ears. She needed to stay in that mood. This happy, beautiful Claire was irresistible.
“You need to go out, you were right. Nobody knows you’re going out tonight, except for your friends, and they’re definitely not demons.”
“Really?” She almost jumped with joy.
“I feel responsible for your situation and I want to give you back some of your life.” Who was I to smother her elation? “Let’s have some fun. It worked out last time with Jenna’s concert, too. You’re right. I’ll be on the alert. Nothing will happen.” At least, that’s what I told myself.
“That’s what I’m saying,” she agreed. “We can’t be on the run all the time, live in fear they’ll strike again. I want to share as much normality as possible with you—starting tonight.” Her arms caught me around the neck and I was enveloped by a wave of bliss and hope. It sank deep into my soul, pushing me to believe I’d made the right choice.
“It’s almost time,” I checked my watch. “You’d better get dressed.” A quiet laughter shook me as I glanced at her shirt, which was there beside the couch where I had dropped it. I teleported over to pick it up. As I lifted the cloth, all the memories of how it had ended up there came with it.
“I think I should put on something more fitting,” Claire stated, and I saw her wish in her eyes. I wrapped my arm
s around her and teleported us to her bedroom, placing her gently on the floor beside her dresser.
“Take your time.” I smiled at her surprised face and dropped onto her bed, picking up the book from her bedside table.
“The course of true love never did run smooth,” I read aloud, suppressing a dark laugh of irony at how well Shakespeare described our situation. “Guess he’s right.”
Claire didn’t speak. She had chosen a new shirt and was a pulling her old one over her head. What I saw was more than her delicacy, it was her soul. It was shining through her skin like an internal source of light in her chest.
“Your soul’s so beautiful.”
“What?” Claire prompted.
What had I just said? “Your soul is beautiful.”
“I heard what you said—I want to know what you meant.”
“I’d like to know that, too.” What was going on?
“How can you see my soul?” She dropped her shirt to the floor and picked up the new one.
“I don’t know.” As I watched her, wondering how this was even possible, I felt the urge to touch it, I needed to be close to it. “I’ve never seen it before—nobody’s soul.” With a quick thought, I teleported to her side, just to feel that light closer to me. It had a fascinating draw…
“Adam!” Claire’s voice broke through from somewhere at the back of my consciousness and I blinked to see her face rather than the flicker under her v-neck shirt.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“How can you see my soul?” There was a hint of fear in her eyes.
“Uhm—I have no idea.” As I was trying to hold on to that spark in her chest, it faded, and the harder I tried, the faster it went. “It’s gone.”
“My soul?”
“I can’t see it anymore. It was there one moment and the next it was gone.” For a moment I wondered if I had imagined it.
“I’m pretty sure it’s still there, or I would have dropped dead, wouldn’t I?” Claire’s mocking tone hurt.
“Not your soul.” I hrmpfed. “The ability to see it. Could it be you’re the key?” I wondered aloud. She had triggered my wings, and she had been my vision. “That you are the catalyst to all my abilities.” It was like an epiphany. Why shouldn’t I be able to see souls, if I had wings and read emotions…? “You are the one who made my wings spread, you are my catalyst. Whatever’s sleeping deep inside me, you’ll bring it out someday.” Who knew what that would be? Maybe there was a reason I just couldn’t leave her side, no matter how hard I’d tried to convince myself.
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