The girls nodded.
‘It feels like it’s been going on forever.’ Molly sighed. ‘There’s so much tragedy around it, it’s sometimes hard to remember what it was like before the war started. That lovely day in Southend seems a lifetime ago, and yet it’s less than three years. I remember the excitement at the thought of paddling in the sea and having an ice cream.’
Alice smiled. ‘It was certainly a carefree bank holiday for us, with all the boys safe at home.’
Victoria frowned. ‘Yes, when I think back, I thought I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, trying to be a mother and father at sixteen to Daisy and Stephen. Then Ted disappearing when I needed him the most and, just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Stephen enlisted without a word.’ Sadness washed over her as she immediately remembered Ted’s smile and laughter. She felt her heart was breaking all over again as she remembered how they had giggled their way hand in hand along Southend seafront, before she had lost her childhood to tragedy. The heat of the day meant they couldn’t eat their ice creams quickly enough; memories of it running down the cone and on to her fingers made her smile. Afterwards Ted had whisked off his shoes and socks, rolled up his trouser legs and paddled at the water’s edge. It hadn’t taken her long to join him. She could still feel the sand and the salty water caressing her toes. Tears pricked at her eyes. How she longed for this war to be over and have him back with her.
Molly glanced over at her friends. ‘That’s true, but it also tells us we’re all stronger than we think.’ She sighed. ‘But one thing I have learnt is that you can only deal with and worry about what’s in front of you. None of us know what’s around the corner, waiting to jump out at us. Just as well too; can you imagine it?’
Victoria glanced across at Alice and they both gave a wry smile.
Molly looked from one to the other. ‘What?’
‘See, it’s happened again.’ Victoria raised her eyebrows and stared at Molly, before quickly looking back at Alice. ‘How do you think it works?’ She leant across and prodded Molly’s hand. ‘It feels so life-like.’
Alice giggled as confusion tripped across Molly’s face.
‘Sorry, Molly.’ Victoria’s smile belied her words. ‘I know you’ve been through a lot since this awful war started, more than any of us sitting here, but it still throws me when you come out with your words of wisdom.’
Molly laughed. ‘I don’t know about that. We’ve all been through it in different ways, and we’re all living on our memories of carefree times, but I’m glad I could make you both smile.’
Victoria lifted the corner of her bread, peering at the fish paste that she’d thinly spread that morning, with no butter to moisten it. ‘I’m thinking of going to Endell Street after work, you know, the military hospital in Covent Garden.’ She looked up at her friends’ wide-eyed expressions, each holding their sandwiches in mid-air. ‘No, Stephen isn’t a patient there.’ She paused for a moment, as her friends each took a bite of their lunch. ‘I want to see if I can volunteer in some way, you know, read or sit and chat to the patients. I’ve heard only women work there, so maybe I can help in some small way. What do you think?’
Alice ran her tongue over her lips. ‘I’m sure they are always grateful for any help they can get. My father is still going to St. Thomas’s every day. I think the first time he went, it really left its mark on him.’
Molly placed her half-eaten giblet sandwich down on the greaseproof paper. ‘Would you like to train as a nurse?’
Victoria shook her head. ‘I think I’m too squeamish for that, and anyway it’s all about small steps. I thought I’d get there first, then maybe ask to do the training, but I don’t want to waste everyone’s time.’
Alice nodded. ‘That makes sense. When I started doing the ambulance run at Victoria train station, it was scary. It took me a while to realise most of them want to see a friendly face and talk about normal things. I suppose they just want to forget what they’ve seen and heard.’ She looked pensive for a moment. ‘Prepare yourself, because some of them say some outlandish things, but it’s just their humour.’
*
Tom stood outside the open gates of Endell Street Military Hospital. The cold wind licked his face and cut through his jacket, into his skin. His body shivered as he moved from one foot to the other, wriggling his toes inside his heavy boots in a bid to keep his feet warm. His breath made grey swirls in front of him, disappearing into the greyness of the sky, reminding him he could do with a cigarette. He pulled a box from his trouser pocket and opened it. He looked down at the cigarettes, lined up like soldiers on parade. He shook his head and closed the box again, pushing them back into his pocket. His sister didn’t like him smoking. He looked at his wristwatch and, watching the hospital doorway, he wondered what time she finished work. He lifted his hands to his mouth and blew, before rubbing them together. Tom looked around him and sighed, before taking the decision to go inside the hospital. He rubbed his hands together again. ‘She’ll find me frozen if I wait out here for much longer.’ He strode towards the door and yanked it open.
Reception was busy. Nursing staff dashed in and out, only stopping momentarily. Tom looked around and wondered at the wisdom of coming inside. A nurse glanced over at him, before looking back at her paperwork, writing something and handing it over to the receptionist. He turned to go back outside; he didn’t want to be in the way.
‘Can I help you?’
A woman’s voice stopped him in his tracks. He turned around and saw the nurse walking towards him.
‘Are you here to see someone?’
Tom smiled at her. ‘I’m afraid I’m not here to see a patient.’
‘Are you hurt?’ The nurse frowned as her eyes wandered over him, looking for signs of injury. ‘Do you need some medical attention?’
Colour crept up Tom’s neck. ‘No, I’m sorry… I should have waited outside, but that wind’s bitter today… I’m here to meet my sister, before I get my train out of London, but I don’t know what time she finishes work.’
The nurse eyed his khaki uniform, with two stripes on his sleeve. ‘What’s your sister’s name?’
Tom shook his head. ‘I don’t want to get her into trouble.’ He grinned. ‘She’ll make my life hell.’
A smile spread across the nurse’s face. ‘What’s her name?’
‘Mabel Atkins.’
‘Ahh, yes, I know her.’
Tom frowned. ‘That doesn’t sound good.’
The nurse chuckled. ‘I’m Sister Philips. I’ll send someone to fetch Mabel and she can finish for the day; I’m sure we’ll manage.’ She turned and beckoned to a young nurse, who almost ran over to her. ‘Please go to Joan of Arc Ward and fetch Nurse Atkins. Tell her she has a visitor and she can finish for the day.’
The young nurse nodded and sped off towards the lift.
Tom watched her go. ‘Joan of Arc Ward? I thought all military hospital wards were given letters of the alphabet for names?’
Sister Philips replied, ‘This hospital is run by women; even the doctors are women. I believe it’s the only one of its kind, so the wards are named after women who are saints or holy.’
Tom nodded. ‘That’s quite something. I had no idea, although I’ve heard this hospital has got an excellent reputation.’
They both looked across reception, as the swish of the lift doors opening caught their attention. Mabel was tangled up in her coat, as she tried thrusting her arms inside her sleeves. Her face lit up at the sight of her brother and she almost ran towards him.
Sister Philips wanted to smile at the sight of Mabel fighting with her coat, but forced herself to look stern. ‘Atkins, you know the rules, no running.’
‘Yes, Sister, sorry.’
‘Right, I’ll let you get on with what’s left of the day and I’ll see you tomorrow, Atkins.’
Mabel nodded. ‘Thank you, Sister, but I’ll probably be back later. I suspect my brother doesn’t have long.’
&nb
sp; The sister gave a curt nod. ‘Well, as it suits. I never say no to an extra pair of hands.’ She cast her gaze towards Mabel’s brother. ‘Take care.’
Mabel watched the sister walk away, before turning her attention to Tom. She arched her eyebrows and grinned. ‘Tom, how wonderful.’ She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around him, ignoring the admiring looks they were getting. She squeezed him tight against her ample bosom, before pulling away. ‘Let me look at you.’
Colour began to rise in Tom’s neck, as he realised they were attracting attention. ‘Come on. Let’s find somewhere for a coffee and a chat. I don’t have long.’ He grabbed her warm hand and pulled her towards him and the hospital doorway.
Mabel thrust her hand under his arm and rested it against the coarse material of his uniform. They stepped forward as one. ‘I got your letter, but I wasn’t sure what time you’d get here.’ She braced herself against the cold air, after the warmth of the hospital, as her brother opened the door. ‘There’s a small café near Covent Garden that I hear is very good.’
‘That sounds fine.’ Tom paused. ‘I wanted to talk to you about John…’
‘Is he all right?’ Mabel’s eyes widened with concern.
Tom squeezed his sister’s arm. ‘In all honesty, I don’t know. Ma is doing her best, but you know what Pa’s like, and I think his temper is getting worse.’
Mabel made a humourless sound. ‘Is that even possible?’
Tom stared straight ahead, not wanting to admit what he feared they all knew anyway. ‘He’s always been a bully; I don’t know how David could have left John with them.’
Mabel sighed. ‘No, I think ordinarily he wouldn’t have done, after all he was the first of us to leave, but John’s health is better because of the sea air. The London smog would have killed him. You may not remember but they never had the money to move to Brighton and David’s work was here. Last I heard they were saving so they could move and have John live with them.’
‘Yes, yes, I know that,’ Tom snapped. ‘What I don’t understand is how he and Margaret haven’t checked on him for, what, seven years. What’s changed? After all, at least one of them used to visit every week. I even remember Victoria, Daisy and Stephen coming a couple of times. They’re a lovely couple and no one knows better than David how bad Father can be, so to leave his son at his mercy seems unforgivable to me.’
Mabel nodded, as memories of their childhood began to flood her mind. She shook her head; now was not the time. ‘I agree, it does look bad, but David must have his reasons.’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘Perhaps it’s time to talk to him and find out what’s going on with him, Margaret and the children.’
Tom smiled at his older sister, always wanting to see good in everyone. ‘That’s your call, you are the only one able to do that, as you’re here in London.’
‘The trouble is, I don’t have an address for him. When I knocked I was told by a neighbour they had gone, otherwise I would have done it before now.’
Tom nodded. ‘I suspect Ma probably has it.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I want you to do something while I’m away this time.’
Mabel looked up at him with wide eyes. Her lips tightened for a second; she knew what was coming.
‘I wouldn’t ask but—’
‘You want me to visit from time to time, to keep an eye on John.’
Tom’s mouth lifted in one corner. ‘Not just John, but Ma as well. I know I’m asking a lot, but I’m really concerned, and it will be one less thing for me to be worrying about, while I’m up to my ankles in water and God knows what else.’
Mabel frowned and anxiety flitted across her face, before she quickly forced a smile. ‘How can I refuse? There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, and I definitely don’t want you worrying about things back here.’
Tom frowned. ‘I know I’m asking a lot.’
Mabel could feel the tears weren’t far away. ‘No, Tom, it’s nothing compared to what you’re doing. Please stay safe, and don’t worry about Ma and John. I don’t suppose you can tell me where you’re going this time.’
Tom laughed. ‘You do know that if I said, I’d have to kill you, in case you’re a German spy.’
*
Shaftesbury Avenue was as busy as always. The street vendors were still out, selling their wares on their barrows, their voices vying for attention against each other and the cars spluttering along the road. The aroma of hot soup and potatoes followed Victoria down the street. Her tummy gurgled, reminding her she was hungry. She shook her head at an old lady holding out a small bunch of spring flowers. ‘No thank you.’
Crossing the road at Seven Dials confused her, as always; so many streets to cross, but the walk from Foyles Bookshop in Charing Cross Road hadn’t taken long. As Victoria stood at the edge of the pavement, she was suddenly back to the many times Ted had put her arm through his at this very spot, making sure they both got across the roads safely. The coarseness of his jacket sleeve under her soft fingers was imprinted on her memory along with the woody cologne he wore sparingly. They had spent many happy hours at Covent Garden watching and listening to the street performers and market traders. He will return to her. Her throat tightened with unspent tears, but she had to believe that. She had to hold on to her memories until that day came.
It wasn’t long before Victoria was standing in front of the large metal gates at Endell Street Military Hospital. They looked forbidding as the early evening closed in. It would be dark when she left later. In the half-light, the old Victorian workhouse looked intimidating, as she stood near the scrolled ironwork on the gates. Victoria took a deep breath. You don’t have to go in, a voice mumbled in her head. She pulled herself up to her full height and took a step forward. Yes I do.
Several nurses were chatting as they walked towards her.
‘You all right, luvvie?’
Nurses nodded in her direction, waving and shouting goodnight to each other, as they walked past.
Victoria nodded.
‘If you’re here to visit someone, just go in; they won’t bite you.’ The nurse smiled kindly at Victoria. ‘Do you need help with something?’
‘No, thank you.’ Victoria paused for a moment and looked up at the hospital. The bowed brickwork at the windows matched the curvature of the arched doorway, which dominated the front of the building. The large courtyard had two ambulances parked to the right of it. Her stomach churned and nausea began to rise in her. Her head started to pound. Perhaps she shouldn’t have come, but she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. ‘I’m here to visit some of the patients.’
The nurse’s smile faded as she looked at her, quizzically. ‘It’s your first time, isn’t it?’
Victoria nodded.
‘Well, it’s been busy in there today; actually, it is every day. We had several ambulances dropping off soldiers today, so just take care. Oh, and stick to the main ward or the sister will not be happy, the side rooms are off limits to volunteers.’
Victoria glanced at the nurse. ‘Why?’
‘The main reason is because those rooms are for patients with complications, who may not make it, and of course they don’t want them catching infections.’
Victoria nodded.
‘Don’t feel sorry for the men, because they don’t like that as a rule. Just see past their injuries and talk to them naturally.’ The nurse patted Victoria’s arm. ‘They’re happy to have someone else to chat to, other than us nurses, that is. You’ll be all right, you’ll see.’
‘Thank you for your kindness.’
The nurse looked towards the hospital. ‘We’ve all had to walk through those doors for the first time.’ She turned back to Victoria. ‘I’m sorry for my rudeness; all this information and I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Mabel, at your service, ma’am.’ She looked down at her uniform and chuckled. She stretched out her arms. ‘I’m a nurse here.’
Victoria laughed. ‘I think the uniform gave you away, but it’s lovely to meet you, Mabel. I’m Vic
toria. You must be cold, without a coat.’
‘Yeah, I made the mistake of forgetting it earlier, but I only have to go to the nurses’ home, which isn’t far. I suspect we could be seeing a lot of each other.’ Mabel studied the young girl in front of her. Her dark hair was just visible under a woollen hat and black winter coat. ‘Have we met before?’
Victoria studied the older woman, trying to guess her age. Her salt and pepper hair was pulled back into a bun. Her forehead had worry lines etched into it. Her eyes, though shining bright, had a hint of sadness about them, like she imagined her own did. She shook her head. ‘I don’t think so.’
Mabel stared for a moment. ‘I don’t know; I don’t often forget a face, and yours looks vaguely familiar. Never mind, if we have, it’ll come to me.’
Victoria frowned. ‘I’m sure I’d remember if we had, although I do talk to a lot of people, where I work.’
Mabel nodded. ‘I expect you’re right. Come on, I’ll walk you in, otherwise you’ll be trying to pluck up courage all night.’ She laughed and turned to face the hospital. ‘So where do you work?’
‘Foyles Bookshop, on Charing Cross Road.’
Mabel thrust her arm in Victoria’s and pulled her forward. They stepped forward in time with each other. ‘You like your books then?’
‘Yes, have you ever come to the shop?’
Mabel’s laughter shrilled out. ‘Definitely not.’
Victoria raised her eyebrows. ‘You should, it’s a brilliant shop with so many books. Rumour has it that people have got lost in there.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind.’ Mabel pulled open the hospital door.
Victoria immediately squinted at the brightness of the electric light. Disinfectant and carbolic hung in the air, causing her to cough as she breathed it in. Her flat shoes were silent on the grey floor as she followed Mabel to the reception desk.
Mabel chuckled and looked round at Victoria. ‘You’ll get used to the light and smells in the hospital; soon you won’t notice it at all. That’s if you come back again.’
‘I will.’ Victoria knew she sounded more confident than she felt.
Christmas at the Foyles Bookshop (The Foyles Girls) Page 5