A girl ran past, screaming and giggling, accidentally flicking water at them as she went, at the same time as a young woman chased her along the footpath.
John watched the woman scoop the girl up into her arms. He enjoyed the shrieking that came from her being caught.
Beatrice closed her eyes, sending up a silent prayer for God to give her the strength from somewhere, to be able to answer all his questions honestly. ‘What is it you want to know?’
John frowned. ‘They haven’t been to see me, since before the war started. In fact, I believe it was a few years before that—’
‘It’s been just over seven years.’ Beatrice could feel the tears pricking at her eyes.
John stared at her for a moment, before gazing out to sea. ‘That’s even worse than I thought, I was thinking it had been about five or six years.’ His voice became almost a whisper. ‘There was I, blaming the war. I’ve read how London has been bombed, and just thought…’
‘I don’t know… I haven’t heard anything from them, since they last visited.’
‘I’m sorry, Gran, I didn’t realise… I’m sorry.’ John squeezed her hand in his. ‘Is there any way we can contact them?’
Beatrice made a strangled sound. ‘Your grandfather won’t allow it.’
Anger swept up John’s features and took hold. ‘Won’t allow it? Won’t allow it? Who the hell does he think he is? These are my parents. Don’t I have a right to know, before I meet my maker, why they haven’t been down to see me, or is it because of Grandpa? He seems to drive everyone away.’
A tear tripped over Beatrice’s lashes and rolled down to her lips.
‘I’m sorry, Gran, perhaps I’m more like him than I realise.’ He paused; unable to look at her he stared at the children playing amongst the pebbles. ‘I don’t think I’m long for this world. I’m coughing up blood and stuff as well as losing weight.’ John sighed and shook his head. ‘I just need some answers, that’s all.’
13
Molly squealed as she squeezed Alice’s arm. ‘I can’t believe I’m actually going wedding dress shopping.’ She pulled at her high-collared blouse, adjusting it around her neck, and the way it sat on the wide belt around her waist.
Alice and Victoria laughed.
‘Stop fidgeting.’ Alice tapped her hand.
Molly gave a nervous giggle. ‘Sorry.’
‘I know you’re nervous, but you look lovely. That copper-coloured dress really suits you.’
‘Thank you; my gran embroidered the collar.’
Victoria nodded. ‘She certainly has a way with a sewing needle, and a great eye for detail.’
Molly’s lips tightened a little. ‘I think her eyesight is failing, although she wouldn’t tell anyone.’
Alice glanced across at Molly. ‘All the more reason to make sure you walk down the aisle sooner, rather than later.’
The girls fell silent as they fell into step with each other. The sun was already high in the sky when the three girls were nearing Selfridges, on New Oxford Street. The street traders were out in force with their baskets and barrows. Every few minutes, voices would shout out, to sell fruit and vegetables. Freshly baked bread stood on wooden trays, adding to the aroma of hot food and coffee, which followed the girls down the street. Old ladies carried baskets of flowers, enticing the passers-by to smell, and hopefully buy, a bunch.
Victoria swerved to miss a grim-faced woman, scowling down at a little boy she was pulling along the road. ‘It’s about time. I was beginning to think you were never going to do it.’
Molly looked back at Victoria, who quickened her step to catch up. ‘To be honest, I’ve been wrestling with my conscience about even wearing a proper wedding dress and veil, or whether I should just buy a white two-piece suit and a hat.’
‘But it’s your wedding day. Haven’t you dreamt of the big white dress, with a long flowing veil, since you were a child?’
Molly frowned. ‘Of course I have, but I’m no longer a child, and there’s a war on.’
Victoria shook her head. ‘Yes, I know that, but you only get married once and you don’t want to look back on it with regret.’
‘I’m excited to be looking at them, and shall wait and see what we find, but the day isn’t just about a dress.’
Victoria looked at Molly, and then Alice. ‘Well, that told me, didn’t it?’
Molly let go of Alice’s arm and stepped towards the large window of Selfridges. ‘I’m sorry, Victoria, I don’t want to spoil today, because I’ve so been looking forward to it, but I suppose what I’m trying to say is, if Ted suddenly came home and said let’s get married, would you worry about whether you had the dress of your childhood dreams?’
Victoria didn’t stop to think about it. ‘Of course I wouldn’t, but you do have time, and now money, on your side, so I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want it.’
Molly sighed and gave a little laugh. ‘I don’t know either.’ She paused for a moment. ‘I think seeing people lose everything at the munitions factory explosion, made me realise life isn’t just about status and money. It’s about friendship and family, and I think my money could be better spent supporting people who have nothing or sending parcels to our men on the frontline.’
Alice’s mouth dropped open slightly, as she looked across at Victoria.
Victoria smiled. ‘Well, I think you’ve put me to shame.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. And anyway, when was today ever meant to be serious about what we spend our money on?’ She tucked her arm in Victoria’s. ‘Come on, we’re going to have fun, and if you are really good, I’ll buy you a crepe and a coffee later. Now that would be money well spent.’ A smile slowly spread across her face, as they took the few steps to one of the many grand wooden doorways and entered the world of Selfridges.
Victoria gasped. ‘I don’t think I’ve been in here before.’ She looked around her. ‘If I had, I’m sure I’d remember.’ The shop assistants, dressed in black skirts and white blouses, looked professional and yet gentle, with a hint of a smile on their lips and not a hair out of place, as they served their customers. She looked around at the many sparkling glass cabinets. ‘I wonder whose job it is to remove all the finger marks from all that glass. I don’t envy them, that’s for sure.’
Molly laughed, as she took in the chatter around the shop. ‘I had the same thoughts at Christmas; it must be an awful job to do.’
Alice chuckled. ‘Hark at you two. When did you become so grown up that the first thing you think of when you walk into this magnificent shop is who cleans the glass? When did we stop being young women, wanting to go out and just have a good time?’
‘I think it sneaked up on us, when we weren’t looking.’ Molly giggled. ‘But we should go to the theatre or something, soon.’
Alice nodded. ‘I’m not sure we can fit it into our busy lives at the moment.’ The chink of coins dropping into the tills could be heard, above the rustling of paper, as the assistants wrapped the many purchases being made. ‘Still, we’ve plenty of time to worry about that. We have a wedding dress to buy.’ She grabbed Molly’s hand, pulling her towards the sign, to find out where they needed to go.
A few minutes later, the three of them were staring at tall mannequins, each standing on a wooden block, wearing a different style of wedding dress.
Molly’s eyes widened, as they roamed from one dress to another. From calf to ankle length, fitted to ballroom, long sleeved or short, there was so much choice. Then there were the veils, practically any length, and as plain or fancy as you like. This was going to be difficult.
Victoria gazed around her. ‘We could be here for some time.’
Molly pulled her eyes towards her friends. ‘Perhaps we should eat first.’
Alice and Victoria burst out laughing.
‘What?’
Alice nodded at Victoria and they took an arm each, pulling Molly towards a hanging rail of wedding dresses. Alice used her best mother voice, the one she used when Ar
thur played up. ‘You’re not going home until we’ve chosen your dress, otherwise this wedding just isn’t going to take place.’
Victoria took a step nearer to the dress rail, unaware that an assistant was walking towards them. She pulled back a dress to get a better look at it, before wrinkling her nose and letting the white material fall back into position. ‘Andrew strikes me as being a very patient man, but even he will have his breaking point, so don’t keep him waiting any longer than you already have.’
Molly frowned, as she turned one way, then another. ‘I haven’t told you yet, but it’s going to be a very small affair; it doesn’t feel right to be frivolous at the moment. Andrew and I have only invited our closest family and friends, so I just want something pretty, but practical.’
The elegant assistant stood to one side of the girls, carefully eyeing the three of them. ‘Can I be of any assistance, ladies?’
The three of them looked across at her. Colour flooded Molly’s cheeks.
The assistant stepped towards Molly. ‘Are you the bride?’
Molly nodded, but stayed rooted to the spot, as anxiety tripped across her face.
Victoria stepped back and stood next to Molly, squeezing her hand. ‘We want today to be fun and special; it’s no less than Molly deserves. She’s a good person, with a good heart.’
The assistant smiled at the three of them. ‘Of course; picking your wedding dress should always be a special moment, and we at Selfridges pride ourselves on making it just so.’
Alice nodded. ‘I’m afraid we don’t really know what type of dress we’re looking for.’
Molly cleared her throat. ‘It has to be something simple and not too fussy. We’ll also need dresses for my friends here, so I’m afraid we’ll all have to agree on the style.’
Victoria glanced at Molly. ‘We could make our dresses from the ones at home, that will save money.’
Molly shook her head. ‘I do think we should alter the dresses but we don’t have time to do it for my wedding.’
The assistant beamed at Molly. ‘You’ve come to the right place then.’
‘You probably also need to know that I want something that looks good, but I don’t want to spend the earth on it.’ Molly gasped. ‘Oh God, I’m turning into my mother.’
The girls burst into laughter, while the assistant tried to hide her confusion.
‘No, I’m not,’ Molly spluttered. ‘I’d just rather buy books with my money.’
*
Ted Marsden lay still in his hospital bed. When he slept he could forget what was happening to him. His dreams were in colour and so real but every morning he woke up confused and his grief hit him all over again. Every day was the same; he had to live with the imposed silence and his demons in this room. His world was dark now. There was no light or shade, and there was definitely no colour. The smell of the toast seemed heightened as it mingled with the overpowering antiseptic and disinfectant that oozed from within the walls. His blindness meant he was unable to reach for his toast or the cup of tea that was placed nearby without knocking it over, but then he had no reason to eat or drink. He had no reason to live anymore.
His hand touched the soft bandage that covered his eyes and most of his face before slowly moving down to rub his nose. He turned his head towards the muffled laughter and voices creeping through the closed door of his side room, those soldiers were happy to be home but he wished he’d died with his friends on the battlefield. He had no future; he was destined to be alone and unable to work. His blindness was disorientating. He didn’t want to be that person waving his hand around trying to grab things; he didn’t want to feel unable to cope with the different noises and smells that appeared to be assaulting him from every direction, while always trying to guess what they are.
Ted sighed. He had nothing to offer Victoria; there was no future for them so there was no future for him. Tears pricked at his eyes. Ignoring the pain that took his breath away, he squeezed them tight as memories of Victoria immediately jumped into his mind. The many times they had sat together holding hands in Hyde Park watching the world go by. They had been happy to just be in each other’s company, but he was never again going to see the blueness of the sky or the vivid colours of the flowers in the park, and more importantly he was never again going to see the beauty of the girl he loved or watch her wonderful face light up when she laughed. Anger surged through him, he had thrown away seven years of being with her, all because he wasn’t able to cope with her grief and new responsibilities. It hadn’t taken him long to realise he had been a selfish coward; he’d had plenty of time to reflect and regret his actions but there had been no going back. He had left it too late. His mind cast back to when he’d finally plucked up the courage to write and ask for her forgiveness. The bombing and rifle fire had stopped and left an eerie silence around him in the trench he had been standing in, only occasionally broken by the murmurs of conversation amongst the men. Ted had seen many things no man should witness and he knew he was living on borrowed time. He didn’t want to die without letting the love of his life know he regretted his actions and wished he could turn back time, but knew that wasn’t possible. His hand had been shaking when he wrote to Victoria. Looking down at the letter, he’d wondered if she would be able to read the spidery writing that was crunched together on the page. Tears had mingled with the dirt on his face and blotted the paper. Ted had begged for forgiveness, pleaded the case for the shallow young man he had been. Victoria’s reply had given him hope for the future, should he survive, but now that had been ripped away again, this time through no fault of his own. He slammed his hand down on to the bedcovers, the vibration of the thud travelled along the bed. His fingers clenched into a tight fist until his nails burnt into his skin.
There was a knock on the door. Ted ignored it. The last thing he wanted was another nurse trying to jolly him along.
The click of the door told him it had opened. The footsteps across the room drowned out his thoughts.
‘Morning, I’m Atkins, your nurse for today.’ Mabel picked up the board that had the patient notes clipped to them.
Ted flinched at the unexpected voice; he turned his head trying to work out its direction. The rustling of paper mingled with other noises he didn’t recognise, some he wasn’t sure he’d heard before.
‘How are you feeling today, Corporal Marsden?’
Silence sat between them.
Mabel stared at the bandaged face of the patient. ‘It’s a lovely day, it was already warm when I came in this morning.’ She returned the board to the end of the bed. ‘Are you going to try and eat your breakfast today.’
Corporal Marsden didn’t move or make a sound.
Mabel stared at his face before lowering her gaze to his chest, watching his breathing rhythm to see if he was asleep or worse, unconscious. ‘It’s no good you starving yourself, you’ll never get better if you don’t eat or drink.’
The thud of her footsteps told him she was on the move.
‘Overall, the doctors are pleased with your progress.’
Ted’s hearing was sharper than ever and he recognised the forced smile in her voice.
‘We’ll probably remove the bandage from around your ribs today but I’ll check with the doctor first. The doctors were lucky to save your leg. All the cuts and bruises have healed nicely.’ She walked around the bed. ‘I think they are happy with the stomach wound as well. It’s lucky you were a strong and healthy man before you were injured.
He flinched as she expertly placed her fingers on his wrist.
Mabel gently placed his arm back on the bed. ‘I’m going to take your temperature in a minute, just to make sure everything’s all right. Then I’ll pass you your tea and a slice of toast.’
Ted moved his head slightly to the sound of her voice.
Mabel tapped her feet on the floor. ‘Are you sure there’s no one I can contact to let them know you’re in hospital?’ She frowned. ‘Can you at least say something so I know you can hear
me?’
Ted sucked in his breath. ‘I don’t know how many times I have to say it, there’s no one.’
Mabel smiled. ‘I find that hard to believe, a good-looking man like you, there must be someone.’ She stood up. ‘Someone must be missing you, you’ve been in here for a few months now.’ She walked over to the door pulling it open.
The noise from outside the room invaded his ears. Was that machinery he could hear amongst the voices interspersed with groans and laughter?
‘You think about it, I’ll be back shortly.’
The door thud shut. Silence enveloped him and once again he was left with his own thoughts, thoughts he didn’t want. How he wished Victoria was with him but he had to let her go. Let her think he was dead so she could find the love she deserved with someone else.
*
Victoria yawned, as she dragged her feet along Charing Cross Road. The early morning mist still hung in the air, causing it to feel damp underfoot. Dogs could be heard barking nearby.
We worked hard last night.’ Daisy smiled as she stepped alongside her sister.
‘Yes, we did, but what with that, and a day’s shopping with Molly and Alice, I’m tired this morning.’
‘It sounds as though the shopping was successful and fun.’
‘It was. Maybe we should have a day out shopping, or lunch together?’
‘That would be good.’ Daisy frowned. ‘Perhaps packing the clothes into bags last night was too much.’
Victoria yawned again. ‘I know it was a longer job but we were right to separate the clothes we could alter.’
‘It made sense to do that, I just don’t want you overdoing it, that’s all.’
Victoria gave a faint smile. ‘Are you trying to mother me?’
Daisy laughed. ‘That’ll be the day. I’m just trying to look out for you, as you do me. We’re both grown up now.’ She glanced across and smiled at Victoria. ‘I’m no longer the petulant child I once was, at least I hope I’m not, so you’ve got to stop feeling as though you have to carry these burdens on your own.’ Daisy chuckled. ‘I’m a responsible adult. I’m a policewoman.’
Christmas at the Foyles Bookshop (The Foyles Girls) Page 16