‘Ahh, Victoria, you made it – excellent.’ Mabel beamed.
As she stepped into the ward, the smell of antiseptic threw itself at Victoria. Closing her eyes and clutching the door handle, she took some deep breaths.
‘Are you all right?’ Mabel rushed forward, grabbing a wooden chair on her way. ‘Here, sit down.’
Victoria did as she was instructed and closed her eyes.
Mabel rested her hand on the young volunteer’s forehead. ‘You feel quite warm and look very hot. It could quite easily be the weather; have you been rushing?’
Victoria took a breath and opened her eyes, staring straight at Mabel, wondering again who she was to her parents.
Mabel frowned. ‘Don’t rush to stand up. I don’t want you passing out on me.’
Victoria jerked, as Mabel’s voice filtered through the fog in her head. ‘This is embarrassing. I’m all right, honestly.’ She stared at the many beds in the ward. ‘You have enough to do, with the real patients.’ She stood up. ‘I’ll be all right in a moment; it’s probably just the heat.’
Mabel stared at her, but then shook her head.
Victoria’s eyes widened. ‘What?’
Mabel opened her mouth to speak, but then shut it again.
Victoria didn’t take her eyes off the nurse. ‘What is it?’
Mabel took a step away. ‘It’s nothing.’ The spell was broken. ‘We have the usual stuff to be done this evening, but there are a couple of patients that have lost their sight, so you could always read to them, whether it’s a newspaper or a book.’
Victoria nodded. ‘Is there anyone in particular you have in mind?’
‘We have a patient that has been moved on to the general ward from a side room, because he’s particularly depressed. Apparently, he has no one so we need to lift his spirits as best we can. At the moment, he doesn’t want us anywhere near him, so you’ll have your work cut out, but I saw you with Corporal Peters, so I think you’ll be all right. Don’t take any notice of him if he’s rude to you. They nearly all go through that phase, but I think it’s guilt, because they’ve survived and their friends haven’t.’ She turned, to see the concern on Victoria’s face. ‘Do you think you’re up to it?’
Victoria met her gaze. ‘I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was frightened, or maybe worried is a better word, but if I can help in any small way, then that’s what I’m here for.’
Mabel smiled and patted her on the arm. ‘I knew you would want to help. His face is quite heavily bandaged at the moment, so there’s nothing on show for you to get squeamish about.’
Victoria pulled back her shoulders and took a deep breath. ‘Right, I’ve got better since I’ve been coming here, so where is he?’
Mabel moved towards the desk in the corner of the ward and picked up a piece of paper that was covered in scribbles. ‘He’s right down the other end, in bed twenty-five, and please don’t forget he’s totally blind at the moment.’ She looked at Victoria. ‘He’ll only have the sound of your voice to go by, so it’s important to try and keep it as happy as you can, without making him angry.’
Victoria nodded. ‘I’ll do my best. What’s his name?’
Mabel looked back down at the paper she was holding. ‘Corporal Edward Marsden.’
16
Victoria’s eyes fluttered open. They took a moment to focus. Mabel was frowning down at her, holding a glass of water. The floor was cold against her legs. Victoria ran her tongue against her lips; her mouth felt dry.
‘Here, sip this.’ Mabel propped Victoria’s head up and held the glass to her lips.’
The cold water splashed against Victoria’s mouth and tongue. She closed her eyes, welcoming the cool relief.
Mabel thumbed away a dribble that was running down Victoria’s chin. ‘Are you all right?’ She waited a few seconds for a reply, but nothing came. ‘You’re very pale. Does anything hurt?’
Victoria shook her head. ‘What… what happened?’
Mabel put the glass on the floor and rested the palm of her hand against Victoria’s forehead. ‘I don’t know.’ She paused. ‘One minute, I was talking to you about Corporal Marsden, and the next, you were out cold on the floor.’
Victoria gasped, closing her eyes, as she remembered. Was that why he hadn’t written – because he’d lost his sight? There must be some mistake. Surely he would have got someone else to write and tell her he was alive.
‘I think, maybe you should go home; you’ve no colour in your cheeks at all.’ Mabel put her arm around Victoria’s shoulders. ‘Here, let me help you into a chair.’
Victoria took Mabel’s helping hand and perched on the edge of the chair for a moment, to gather herself. She stood up. ‘I’ll be all right. I’ve come to help, and that’s what I shall do.’ She smoothed down her skirt, patted the bun at the base of her neck and took a deep breath. ‘Bed twenty-five, Corporal Edward Marsden.’ She pulled her shoulders back and slowly began walking towards the other end of the ward. Victoria could feel Mabel’s eyes boring into her back, but nothing else mattered, apart from making it to the end of the ward. Silently, she counted the beds, nodding her hellos to the soldiers, as she went past them. She stopped, two beds away from bed number twenty-five. The patient was still, most of his face hardly visible because of the bandages. She stared at him for a moment. Would he recognise her voice? Her smell? Should she tell him her name… and if she didn’t, who would she say she was? She shook her head, wondering why life was so complicated. The photograph in her handbag came to the forefront of her mind; she hadn’t spoken to Mabel about it. Ted had caught her unawares. The photograph wasn’t important; in fact, nothing else mattered. She stared at the bed, as his legs moved under the covers. What was she going to say to him? Could she lie and pretend to be someone else?
The patient in bed twenty-five fidgeted for a moment, before moving his head at an angle. ‘Is someone there?’
Victoria stepped forward, clearing her throat, but her voice came out barely louder than a whisper. ‘Yes, I’ve come to sit and chat, or read to you.’
‘Don’t bother; you’re wasting your time. Go and look after some other poor lad that needs your help.’
Victoria stared at him for a moment. From what she could see, his face looked weathered, and bristles had spiked through, forming a beard. Was this the man she fell in love with when she was sixteen, and he was twenty-one? They were going to take on the world, until her world had been turned upside down, and now his world was spiralling out of control.
A brusque voice interrupted her meanderings. ‘I may not be able to see, but I know you’re still there. I can feel you staring at me.’
Victoria took a deep breath. ‘I am still here.’ She paused. ‘To be honest, I’m wondering what to do with you.’
‘Hah.’ Corporal Marsden turned his head away from her.
Victoria gasped; even in his blindness, he didn’t want to look at her. ‘Well, you can throw your tantrums and shout at me as much as you want, but I’m not going anywhere.’
He lay in his bed in silence.
Victoria pulled up a chair, seeing him flinch as it scraped along the floor. She sat herself down. Panic took hold, as she wondered what she was going to talk to him about. Silence sat between them. ‘So, where have you been? I mean…’
‘Not on me ’olidays, that’s for sure.’
Victoria was grateful he couldn’t see the colour rising up her neck. ‘Corporal Marsden, I’m a new recruit at all this stuff, so I’d appreciate it if you showed me a little patience, because I’m not as stupid as I sound.’
‘Really?’ he quipped.
Victoria took a deep breath and counted to three. ‘Is this how you treated the soldiers under your command? The lads that had enlisted because they wanted to do the right thing and defend their country’s honour, and then there’s the lads that enlisted at sixteen, because they thought it was an adventure. Did you not care what happened to them? Were you not patient with them, when they got scared, and
experienced things that no person should?’ She paused to catch her breath.
Ted Marsden stayed silent.
Victoria glared at him. ‘If you didn’t care about them, then you are right to treat yourself in the same manner, but if you did, then you should allow yourself to care about you and your future. If you don’t care about you, who else will?’
Tension sat between them, and Victoria immediately felt guilty for giving him such a hard time. Perhaps this wasn’t the job for her. ‘Would you like a cup of tea, or something?’
Silence.
‘Maybe a biscuit? If I can find some.’
Corporal Marsden clenched his hands into a fist, on top of his bedclothes. ‘What I want is to be left alone, but you don’t seem to understand that.’
Victoria chuckled. ‘I will leave you in a minute, but please understand, I will be back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that, so you’d better start trying to be nice to me. Otherwise, I shall continue to make your life a misery, more than it already is.’
‘You have no idea what I’ve been through, or what I’ve lost.’ Ted Marsden waved his hand in the air. ‘Or any of the soldiers that are here, so don’t try to make out you do.’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’ Victoria lowered her tone, to a little over a whisper. ‘That wasn’t what I was trying to do, nor would I ever.’ She hesitated. ‘I was trying to get a reaction from you.’
‘Well, you certainly got that.’
Victoria lowered her eyes. Had she made a mistake in trying to push him too quickly? Would he hate her forever, when he realised who she was?
*
‘Sorry I’m late, Mr Leadbetter.’ Victoria rushed through the bookstore, to clock in for work, unaware of Alice’s eyes following her. She put her handbag down on a chair and whisked her card out of the wooden slot, thrusting it into the clocking in machine. She shook her head. Half an hour late; she’d feel that in her pay packet.
‘Is everything all right, Miss Appleton?’ Mr Leadbetter stood in the doorway. ‘You haven’t ever been this late before, and actually, you haven’t been late to work for some time now.’
Victoria pushed her card back into the wooden slot. ‘I’m sorry, I’m afraid I didn’t sleep very well last night, and then couldn’t get up this morning.’
Mr Leadbetter nodded. ‘If you need to talk because you’re worrying about things, er, particularly work, then please feel free to find me.’ He half turned to walk away, but stopped and looked back at her. ‘I’m afraid, when it comes to matters of the heart, then I’m not very good, but I know you have your friends here and you’re very good at supporting each other.’ He shifted from one foot to the other, before walking away.
Victoria smiled to herself; she couldn’t ever imagine confiding in Mr Leadbetter. She ran her hands down her black skirt and straightened her white blouse, while stepping forward into the shop and immediately colliding with Alice.
‘Is everything all right, Victoria? Molly and I were worried when you didn’t come in this morning. Did you speak to Mabel about the photograph last night?’
Victoria shook her head. ‘No, I forgot about it.’
Alice raised her eyebrows. ‘Forgot? How could you forget? It’s all you’ve talked about for weeks.’
‘Look, now’s not the time. I’m already late for work, and you’ll get into trouble, being away from your counter.’
Alice smiled. ‘Actually, Mr Leadbetter sent me in to see if everything was all right.’
Victoria could feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. ‘Well, he had no right. I’m sure if I have a problem I wish to discuss, I can talk about it without making it a big issue.’
Alice stared at her for a moment. The dark rings under her eyes, and the pale complexion, told their own story. Victoria’s waspish comments added to the feeling that something was definitely wrong. Alice had seen this before and knew, without a doubt, she had to speak to Molly. Victoria hadn’t ever been very good at sharing her problems, as she knew only too well.
Alice stepped aside, allowing Victoria to walk past her, into the shop. ‘Molly and I are here for you, whatever the problem.’
Victoria peered over her shoulder at Alice, gave a slight nod, then carried on walking.
Alice sighed; she wanted to go and find Molly, but she knew they would both end up in trouble. It would have to wait until lunchtime. She pulled back her shoulders, her hand automatically cradling her small baby bump, as she went back to her counter.
Victoria wandered aimlessly around the shop, automatically nodding and saying hello to customers. She had momentarily thought about going down to the basement and having a chat with Albert, but had quickly decided that wasn’t a good idea. Her mind was full of Ted, and what a mess she had made of things at the hospital. She hadn’t thought it through; the situation had completely caught her off guard. There were no excuses. It wasn’t a good start to learning about him all over again. He probably hated her, so any future she had hoped for with him, was lost. The best she could hope for was friendship. She had to find a better way of getting him to talk. She had tossed and turned all night, trying to figure it out, muffling her tears in her pillow, in a bid to not wake up Daisy. There was nothing she could come up with, that would make things right.
Molly startled Victoria, when she bumped into her while striding between the tall racks of books. ‘Ahh, Victoria, are you ready for lunch?’
Victoria’s lips tightened a little. ‘I’m not sure I have time for lunch today.’
Molly thrust her hand under her friend’s arm. ‘Hmm, well I think you should at least stop for a cup of tea.’ Molly pulled her along with her. ‘It’s no good fighting it; you were the one that told us tea made everything all right, remember? You also told me off for not sharing my problems with you. You need to know we are not letting it go, mainly because we care about you, and the last time you didn’t confide in us, you and Alice had a terrible argument, leaving me in charge.’ Molly laughed. ‘And you of all people should know, that’s never a good thing.’
With Molly’s laughter, Victoria’s face lifted. ‘All right, I’m coming.’
They walked into the staff area together, where Alice already had three cups of tea sitting on the table. ‘Victoria, did you bring some lunch with you?’
Victoria frowned at her.
‘I’m only asking, because when you had a lot going on before, you hardly ever brought your lunch with you.’ Alice dropped her wrapped sandwiches onto the table. ‘You can always share mine.’
Molly smiled. ‘Or mine.’
Alice watched Molly undo the paper. The rustling broke the silence between them and revealed thin slices of crusty bread. ‘It’s good to have you back, Molly. Did you enjoy your wedding day?’
Colour flushed Molly’s cheeks. ‘I loved it, and it was lovely for you both to be a part of it. Apparently, my gran hasn’t stopped talking about it.’ She gave a wistful look. ‘I now wish I hadn’t kept Andrew waiting for so long, and the Savoy Hotel was every bit as grand as I thought it would be. He thoroughly spoilt me.’
Victoria smiled. ‘I must say, you look very happy, so it must agree with you.’
‘I am, and this weekend I’m moving my things into his home in Bury Street.’ Molly paused. ‘I think it will be a little strange at first, but Andrew has plans for us to decorate it, so it’s not all in his parents’ taste, not that there is anything wrong with it, it’s just…’
‘It’s not yours.’ Alice smiled.
Molly nodded. ‘I didn’t say anything to him about it, though; it was his suggestion.’ She went quiet for a moment.
Victoria rested her hand on her friend’s. ‘What is it?’
Molly sighed and glanced at them both. ‘He’s been offered his old job back, at the bank. Well, actually, it’s a promotion.’
Alice frowned. ‘That’s a good thing, isn’t it?’
‘Probably; it’s just that I know he hated working there before and only did it to pl
ease his father.’ Molly looked down at her untouched sandwich. ‘Andrew said things have changed.’ She giggled. ‘He tells me he’s a married man now, so he can’t afford to take risks with our livelihood, especially if we are going to have a family.’
Alice pushed her sandwich paper towards Victoria, before picking up a quarter of the paste sandwich. ‘If Freddie is anything to go, by I’d say you’ve got to let them make those decisions; personally, I wouldn’t get involved in it.’
Molly nodded, before looking up at Victoria. ‘So what is it?’ She also pushed her sandwich paper towards her friend. ‘What’s happened for you to look like you’ve seen a ghost? Did you ask that nurse about the photograph? Alice was telling me this morning, how her name is the same as the one on the back of it; sounds like it could be the breakthrough you were looking for.’
Victoria closed her eyes and took a couple of breaths. When she opened them again, her friends were both staring at her.
Molly didn’t take her eyes off Victoria. ‘Well, come on, you’re quick to be impatient with me, so let’s have it. Did you speak to her about it, or not?’
‘No.’ Victoria wrung her hands in her lap.
Molly shook her head. ‘I don’t understand; why not? I thought this was something you needed to know.’
Victoria puffed out her chest. ‘I went to volunteer at the hospital last night…’
Molly tutted. ‘We know that, but what happened, and why didn’t you ask her?’
When she finally spoke, Victoria’s voice was barely audible. ‘Ted is a patient there.’
‘Is he all right?’ the girls cried.
‘He’s blind.’
Molly and Alice gasped as one.
Victoria stared hard at the table.
Molly shook her head and reached out to rest her hand on Victoria’s arm. ‘But you still love him, don’t you?’
Victoria nodded. ‘It was a shock, I wasn’t expecting to see him in the hospital at all, never mind like that.’
Alice rested her hand on Victoria’s arm. ‘Well, at least you know he’s alive, and from what I hear, that hospital does some great work.’
Christmas at the Foyles Bookshop (The Foyles Girls) Page 20