Ripping the blade out, I dove on top of him, throwing him to the dirt and punching him in the mouth. I didn’t need more blood to access his magic; knocking his tooth out simply gave me a vicious satisfaction.
Isaac clapped his hands against my ears, following it up with an elbow strike to my throat. I gasped for air, then punched him again. Unfortunately, to destroy the magic, I couldn’t manifest my armor.
Our fight was dirty and brutal, but besides his longevity, he didn’t have any other powers. Considering his injuries, his determination to get to the portal was impressive. Twice we skirted dangerously close to the swirling mass of blue and purple light.
“I’ll take everyone you care about away from you.” He laughed. “I have all the time in the world.”
The amulet warmed against the base of my throat. You face the choice that Asherah gives all Jezebels. The choice to live as one wishes, which was denied to her as the Bride of Yahweh. Destroy the Sefer’s magic inside Isaac and lose your Jezebel magic for good.
Isaac tussled with me, his magic smoking against my skin.
I’d been created to destroy the magic on the Sefer Raziel HaMalakh, but it had never occurred to me that when I’d completed that task, the magic would end.
Had Rafael known? No, he would have told me.
The amulet tingled. Or keep that magic and the fight rages on. Immortal doesn’t mean unkillable. Once the host is dead, the magic returns to the Sefer.
I pinned Isaac under me. I’d wanted free will to pursue a fascinating private investigator career, which being Nefesh had made possible, and here it was, within my grasp. To keep my magic, all I had to do was the one thing I’d sworn to since I’d learned of Isaac’s role in this.
Kill him.
A red ribbon of magic woven around one hand, a dagger held in the other.
Choices.
It was easy to make them in a moment of calm. End Isaac, and we could hide the unified Sefer in the library, safe from all.
I clutched the dagger tighter, Isaac’s fear a delicious elixir.
Revenge wouldn’t fill the hole left by my dad’s murder and the best revenge was living well. There was only one way to honor my father’s memory.
I gently sent my magic inside Isaac and hooked it to his.
Isaac cried out, begging me to stop.
Delicately, I gathered his magic up, threading it in my red forked branches.
The wizened blossoms on the tree turned pink and healthy, gently swirling around us.
My body felt lighter than it had in ages, and I swear Asherah herself beamed down upon me.
“No!” Isaac cried.
An initial white cluster bloomed and it was as if the first of many fuses was turned off deep inside me. I made another bloom and felt the same sensation.
I stilled. I’d chosen this, but there was a deep ache inside me as my magic shut down.
Isaac somehow sensed what was happening, because he started laughing. “You’re going to lose it all, aren’t you? All that precious magic? Am I worth it?”
Yes, because I still had to face myself in the mirror every day.
I let the rest of the clusters eat up the magic as I hollowed out one white bloom at a time. Was this a reset to who I’d been as a Mundane or was some essential part of me disappearing, and all I’d be left with was a shadow of my former self? Would I recognize myself when this was over? Would I even care?
No matter how difficult, I’d find my way back and be the best version of myself imaginable. The version I could live with, knowing I’d done the right thing.
I wiped sweat off my brow and gave one final push.
Isaac screeched, his magic sparking out, and his skin turning ashen and gray.
The Sefer was no more.
Isaac was mortal.
And I was Mundane.
The almond tree discharged all its blossoms in a snowfall of pink and the grove quaked, pitching us through the portal into darkness.
We crashed landed back in Lockdown Cybersecurity.
Isaac tore the gun from Rafael’s hand and aimed it at me.
“This isn’t like my father,” I said. “You have to look me in the eye if you want to kill me. Hasn’t there been enough death?”
Rafael and Levi tensed, ready to spring into action.
Isaac didn’t shoot me and when I met his eyes, he broke the stare first. He sagged. “You’re right.”
Then he shot me in the leg.
“Son of a bitch!” Pain, true unadulterated pain railed through my body. For months, I’d had my Jezebel magic to ease my discomfort in daily life with my repaired leg. Now, sore and aching already, I pressed my hands to my ruined thigh, seething, knowing there would be no power to help me heal this. Rods and canes and a lifetime of rehab and pain spun out before me.
This was the cost of mercy.
Levi dropped down beside me, calling 911, while hastily pressing his sweater onto the wound. “Why didn’t you use your armor?”
My bottom lip trembled. “I couldn’t.”
Rafael, slapping regular cuffs on Isaac, whipped his head toward me. “Whyever not?”
“It’s over. All of this is over.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “The Sefer is gone. My magic is gone.”
“Impossible,” Rafael said.
Levi put his arms around me and I clutched his shirt, my jaw clenched, biting back the pain.
I’d made my choice and I stood by it. But, universe? Cut me a break, and don’t let Dr. Zhang be my operating physician.
Chapter 28
Lights blurred overhead as I was wheeled through to the trauma bay. I gripped the metal rails of the gurney, fighting my panic. Once in the OR, I was tethered to an IV and hooked to all manner of monitors, but the final insult?
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dr. Zhang’s normally warm brown eyes glared at me above his mask. “And the same leg? I did beautiful work on that leg.” He boffed me lightly across the top of my head.
I sighed. Thanks for nothing, universe. He’d probably amputate.
“Gotta keep you on your toes, doc.” I grimaced through a wave of pain. Then I was being told to count backwards and any further scoldings melted away.
I woke up in a hospital bed, my head filled with cotton.
My mother sat in a chair, reading. She was wearing yoga pants.
“Which one are you?” I mumbled.
She arched an eyebrow, placing the book back in her purse. “Which mother am I? Do you have a secret family stashed somewhere?”
“You’re wearing yoga pants,” I said.
“Yes. They’re soft and easy to put on with my arm wound.” She reached for a cup of water and brought the straw to my lips. For a moment, I was thirteen years old, groggy and scared, my mother sitting by my side promising everything would be all right. “Dr. Zhang said you were lucky,” she said. “None of the rods were broken and it was a clean wound. You’ll be back to normal in no time.”
Isaac, the Sefer, my magic loss, it all came rushing back to me. “Normal. Right.”
“Sorry,” my mom said quietly.
I gently squeezed her arm. “No, I'm sorry. I dropped a lot of painful facts on you. I wasn’t kind and I knew that even as I was doing it. You didn’t deserve it.”
She took the cup I handed her and placed it on the bedside table. “You didn’t deserve all the behavior I dished out to you, either. There’s blame on both sides.”
We sat with our respective thoughts for a bit, then she rolled up the sleeve of her sweater. Her upper arm was bandaged, the same as my thigh.
“We match,” she said.
“Yeah. Both of us have scars and no magic.”
“I wish that wasn’t the case.”
I fiddled with my hospital bracelet. “It’s okay. You get to feel about magic however you want.”
She pursed her lips together, looking down at her lap. “When I was pregnant, I used to talk to you about how excited we were to meet you and all the fun things we�
��d do together. And I’d tell you that even if you didn’t get magic like your father, you’d always be magic to me. I’m sorry that I forgot that, because when I saw what you could do, it was…”
“Magic?” I said, dryly.
“Yes, you little wise ass. You were fierce.” She folded her hands primly in her lap, a steely set to her jaw. “That’s why I not only declined the opportunity to be Minister of Finance, I’ve left the party.”
“What? You can’t? I didn’t go through all that with Nathan so he’d win.”
“He didn’t win. I let go of the anger that had been blinding me all this time. Besides, I’m not leaving politics altogether. I’m joining the Federal Liberal Party. I told them they needed my policy experience to make Nefesh rights inherent to the constitution.”
“Whoa. You’re pretty fierce yourself, Mom.”
“Where do you think you get it from? I am a descendent of Jezebel, after all.”
I turned my head to the sunshine streaming in through my window and smiled. No lies. No games. Mom and I were going to be fine.
Nurse Sarah came by a while later to take my vitals. She had bunions, was allergic to dogs, and could quote episodes of Breaking Bad verbatim. All things being equal, she was a pretty scary nurse, but I always felt better when she told me my numbers were good. Nurse Sarah was not the kind of person who sugarcoated things, and I appreciated that.
She wrapped a blood pressure cuff around me.
I sniffed the air. “I smell peppermint.”
“Gum. I’m cutting down on my coffee consumption.”
“What?”
“Hey.” She frowned, pumping the bulb to inflate the cuff. “Calm down. Your pressure is spiking. Don’t you like mint? It was your idea.”
“You said you’d rather, and I quote, take it up the ass with a donkey’s dick than go without caffeine. Unquote.”
The cuff slowly deflated. “And you told me that I knew what was best for myself and I should follow that.”
“Then keep drinking the stuff,” I said.
Sarah ripped the cuff off and jotted down my blood pressure. “What are you, some kind of lobbyist for Big Coffee?”
No, I was a pissed-off girl with a sneaking suspicion that sounded crazy. Isaac hadn’t killed me and a self-professed caffeine junkie had given up her fix, both on my say-so?
By the time Dr. Zhang announced I could be discharged, I was ready to go home and get my life back. Pri was coming to pick me up, so I was surprised when Lux arrived in my hospital room with a wheelchair.
“Heard you took a bullet.” She shook head. “Jezebels. I follow Asherah all my adult life and I never ended up in the hospital eating ice cream and getting wheeled around like a princess.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, Lux. She’s here all week.” I gingerly moved from the bed to the wheelchair. “How’s Jean-Pierre?” The illusionist had been badly beaten by Theresa’s people, but he’d rallied to help turn the tide.
“Mending. The House took good care of us.”
“You deserved it. We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“True.” She grabbed my bag and slung it over her shoulder, then pushed me into the hallway. “In lighter news, Gabriel is bugging Miles to let him become an operative.”
I laughed. “Miles must loooove that.”
“Gabriel is convinced he can win him over.”
“I’m sure he is.”
Lux shared how terrified she’d been during the battle, but how it felt good to have something concrete she could influence. She lapsed into silence, no doubt thinking of Emma.
“Finally, she’s leaving,” Dr. Zhang said, cornering us in the lobby.
“That anxious to get rid of me?” I said.
“Not quite.” He produced two mustaches. A droopy handlebar one for himself and a pencil one for me.
I crossed my arms. “Where’s my Luigi ’stache?”
“You’re a grown-up now, Ash. Have a little dignity.” Dr. Zhang pulled out his phone and fiddled with the camera.
“This is… weird,” Lux said. “I’m going to leave you to it.” She placed my bag in my lap.
“Don’t be a stranger,” I said. “I mean it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. We Gigis have to stick together.” She squeezed my shoulder and made for the door.
“I think you mean Followers,” I called out. “Asherah’s Followers. AF. As in, you know, Goddess AF. We’re rebranding.”
“Goddess AF. I like it.” Lux hitched her purse higher on her shoulder. “We could get T-shirts.” With a wave, she left.
Dr. Zhang leaned down to be in the frame with me. “Say cheesy!”
“Cheesy!”
He snapped the photo, gave me some forms for a physical therapist I was to follow up with, and wheeled me outside to where Priya waited with Moriarty. Dr. Zhang patted my head. “Okay, kid. This time, I really mean it. I don’t want to see you again.”
“Hold up there, mister,” I said crossly.
He turned back, the picture of innocence. “Yes?”
I held out my hand.
Grinning, he pulled a candy from the pocket of his scrubs and tossed it to me. Orange lollipops were the bomb.
Priya and I hit up Blondie’s early to snag enough space for all of us. Our karaoke date had been delayed, but we made it happen the same day I got home.
Jodie, our ancient server, grunted as we pushed tables together. “You people better not cheap out on tips,” she said.
I pressed my hand to my heart and staggered back. “Are those your eyes I see looking into mine and not down at your phone? I hardly recognize you without your beauteous visage bathed in the glow of your cell. Is it the apocalypse?”
“Nah, that was last week,” Pri said. “You botched it.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Taunt a woman when her screen is broken. See if you get your fries tonight,” Jodie grumbled, and wandered away.
Rafael was the first to show up, nattily attired in his black-and-red argyle vest with his matching red bowtie.
Priya and I both patted the chairs next to us and Rafael froze for a second, before sitting down beside me.
“It’s cracking to have you back,” he said to me in way too hearty a voice.
“You really want to sit next to Pri, don’t you?”
He blushed. “No.”
I prodded his shoulder. “Did something happen while I was convalescing in hospital that you have not seen fit to share with me?”
“As if.” Priya picked at the hem of her T-shirt that she’d paired with dark jeans.
Priya in pink. It wasn’t a monochromatic freneticism willing herself to be happy, it was just her being happy. I rubbed my right thigh, back on track with my P.I. mojo, but before I could tell Rafael to change seats, he pushed his glasses up his nose.
“No, Priya. I shan’t deny it and neither shall you. We have begun a romantic relationship. I’d like your blessing, Ashira, because you are important to us, but even if you disapprove, we will be together.”
Priya melted in her chair, smiling dopily at him.
“Okay, gross,” I said. “Don’t emote all over me, dude. Aren’t you supposed to be all British and into concealing your true feelings or something? Jeez. Go sit with your girlfriend. I approve.” I made a religious-looking gesture. “Consider your union blessed.”
Priya leaned across the table and kissed my cheek.
I’d texted Levi to let him know about our plans, but he’d begged off with no explanation. I cut him some slack, having heard from Miles after my shooting that Levi had been run ragged in the aftermath of everything. Isaac had exercised his right to remain silent, but after he so summarily dismissed Hans in his moment of need, the German had rolled over on whomever was left of the Ten. No mention was made of the Sefer, but Hans had plenty to say about a number of illegal activities that the cabal had been involved in.
Meantime, Miles’s operatives had gotten hold of the ledgers in storage and were poring thr
ough them for the one I’d seen. The chances of killing the legislation had shot up significantly.
Levi was swamped. It was totally normal that we hadn’t spoken yet.
I checked my phone, just in case.
Arkady and Miles showed up next, holding hands. I was trying to flag down a passing server, willing to pay top-dollar tips for an unending supply of booze to get me through being bookended by couples, when Priya said, “Yaaas, Queen.”
Wearing red jeans, a red scoop-neck top, and red stilettos, Her Majesty sailed through this drinking establishment like she walked a red carpet strewn with rose petals.
All conversation died until she arched a perfect brow and people hurriedly looked away. If their chatter had a nervous edge to it, well, she had that effect.
Isabel bounced beside her mother, grinning and craning her neck all around. In shorts, a cute top with ruffled sleeves, and blue nail polish, she radiated a carefree joy. Good for her.
Moran brought up the rear.
“Damn,” Arkady said, eyeing his white suit, “that’s a man comfortable with his style choices.”
Miles knocked over his water glass. “That—that’s…” He made a noise like he’d swallowed his tongue, grabbed a handful of napkins, and blotted at the spill so frenetically, that Arkady pushed his hand away and took over the clean-up.
I poked Miles’s shoulder. “Breathe. She comes in peace. I invited her daughter.”
A text buzzed on my phone.
Imperious 1: Come over tonight?
To talk? To have sex? To go our separate ways once and for all?
Arkady hit my bouncing leg with his. “Quit it.”
Her Majesty stopped next to my table. “Hola, chica.”
I flipped my phone to be screen down. “Hello, Highness. Isabel, you made it. Excellent.”
“I’ve never been in a place like this,” she said.
“Way to start her at the bottom, pickle.” Grimacing, Arkady wadded up the soggy napkins into a ball. “Well, darling, your worldview can only improve from here.”
Isabel shook her head. “I love it. Did you know the term ‘dive bar’ originated in the 1880s because these places were typically located in cellars or basements where people could dive into and not be seen?”
Revenge & Rapture: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Detective Series (The Jezebel Files Book 4) Page 28