“I’ve missed you!” Tommy admitted, leaning over to kiss his son’s head. Danny wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. Tommy embraced his son and held him in his arms. “Ah!” he exclaimed, struggling to stand up straight. “My big man! Boy, howdy, it feels good to hold you!”
Sarah embraced both her husband and son, patting and scratching their backs. She glanced at the curtain and noticed a forest of legs on the other side.
“Hey, cowboy…” she said. “You got some company.”
Ron and Holly, John and Joey, Casey and Terri, and Jason and Monica gleefully disrupted the reunion.
“Boy, we thought that you were likin’ to never wake up!” Casey exclaimed.
“You wouldn’t believe the chores you gotta catch up on!” John bellowed.
“And all the horse crap you’ve gotta scoop!” Jason added.
The group had a good laugh as Danny was passed around like a sack of potatoes, receiving more than his fair share of kisses and hugs for the next ten years.
“Boy, are we gonna have a party!” Tommy announced as he again hoisted his son in his arms. “Wit’ everybody from the church and ball team. We are gonna celebrate!”
“Where are Billy and Daryl?” Danny asked. “Are Bobby and Jimmy here?” He leaned to the side to look past the curtain. The room grew still and silent as the smiles disappeared and heads turned away. Ron moved toward the window to look outside as Terri bit her lip. Jason excused himself past John and Joey.
“We’re glad you’re doin’ good, hon!” Holly forced out, struggling to smile. “Glad to see you all healthy. Ronnie?”
Ron came to Danny, kissed his head, and patted his back. Tommy looked at Ron with sorrowful eyes. The two men leaned into each other before Ron escorted Holly out of the room.
“We got to run, hon. We got a lot of stuff to do…” Joey explained. “And these boys got to get back to work. Don’t ya, John?”
John stood and stared at Tommy and Danny, but in his heart could see only himself and his son.
“Yeah. We gotta go, Danny,” John lamented.
“We been prayin’ you and your daddy would be all right,” Joey finished. She took Sarah’s hand, squeezed it tightly, then turned abruptly to leave.
“We love you, Danny,” Terri choked. “We love all of you. Baby?”
Casey winked tearfully to Danny and tapped Tommy on the elbow before putting his arm around Terri’s shoulder.
“We’ll call ya’ll later. Maybe come by in a day or two,” Monica suggested as she hugged Sarah. “Y’know, let ya’ll get settled and sorted out.”
“I’m so sorry!” Sarah whispered in Monica’s ear.
“I know!” Monica whispered back. “Oh, dear God! You know I’m happy for you! You know that! I just miss my baby!” She hurriedly broke her friend’s embrace and turned to leave. She crossed the hall to the stairwell to find Jason already there. The two slumped down on the steps together and wept.
“What happened, Daddy?” Danny asked as Tommy laid him back down. “Why were they crying?”
Tommy scooted the chair back to the side of the bed and asked, “Danny, remember how I was wantin’ to talk to you soon? About the man you’re becoming?”
Danny nodded with his eyes now open wide and said, “Yeah, but that was last week.”
Sarah knew what was coming and left the room. She entered the nurse’s linen closet across the hall, closed the door, and bawled into the stack of towels.
“Danny, what’s the most recent thing you remember?” Tommy probed.
“Well…,” Danny began hesitantly. “You and me and the guys were talking on the way to the comic store.”
“That’s right, good! You’re right. We were driving to go see who? Do you remember?”
“We were gonna go see Superman.”
“Superman! Right! You’re doin’ good. Do you remember talkin’ ’bout anything special?”
“Yeah. I was gonna see the future and Billy just wanted to be tall.”
“Yeah, yeah, he did.” Tommy chuckled as he thought back to the wish of the happy runt. “Billy wanted to be tall. Son?” He paused, scooting closer to the bed. “I want you to pay close attention to what I’m gonna tell you.” He reached for Danny’s hand. “This might be difficult for you to understand.”
Danny looked at his father, confused.
“Son…we were in a bad car wreck…just about the time you were talking…and I’m sorry, but…”
Danny waited for Tommy to finish.
“…That was four months ago.”
Danny’s chin began to quiver.
“You and I were hurt in a real bad way,” Tommy continued. “And we were brought here to the emergency room. They took care of me ’n they’ve been taking care of you…while you been asleep.”
“What about Jimmy and Billy?” Danny asked shakily with tears welling up in his eyes. “Where’d they take Bobby and Daryl?”
“Son, we were hit really hard and…” Tommy stopped.
Danny turned beet red as he tried to hold back his tears, then pulled the blanket over his face. Sarah came back to the room and stood at the other side of the bed. Emilie commenced to pray out loud for Danny.
Tommy pulled down the sheet to reveal his boy’s face. “Are…are they dead?” Danny spurted.
It broke Tommy’s heart to tell his son the truth, but he knew it had to be done and it would be for the best. He looked his hurting son squarely in the eyes and sorrowfully answered, “Yes.”
The blanket came back over Danny’s eyes as Sarah consoled her boy. “Danny? I know this hurts, and it’s gonna take a while to work through it. But there is a good way to look upon this. Your friends…well, they knew you loved ’em, darlin’, and they loved you.” Her words flowed smoothly and patiently. “And, son? That love will never die and never fade!” She pulled the blanket down and wiped away his tears. “And their spirits are in this room with you right now!” she added, holding her arms out.
Danny looked about the room curiously as she testified.
“They just watchin’ o’er you. Jesus and your friends will always, always be with you. We love you dearly,” she said, stroking his head. “And are so, so sorry that this has happened.”
“But why them?” Danny asked angrily. “Why’d God take my friends?”
“Son?” Tommy perked up. “God has His plans. And it’s hard to understand God’s ways sometimes…like why He lets some things, bad things, happen the way He does. And why do people, good people, people we love, get hurt? There’s a lot of things I don’t understand myself. But one thing I do know is He had a purpose in allowing His children to go home. He sent them here to be your friends, to love you, support you, to help you grow…”
Sarah added, “And they learned a lot from watching and listening to you…”
“That’s right,” Tommy agreed. “And God has a lesson to teach us…something for us to learn right now while their gone. Not that we did wrong or are being punished for something, but more like a lesson to learn for when we get older, for knowing how to be strong in Him for everything, for all our lives.”
Danny closed his eyes tightly and extended his arms to his father. Tommy leaned forward and scooped his son in his strong arms, completely and securely enveloping him. Sarah walked to the other side of the bed, leaned over and embraced her two boys, sandwiching Danny. The three gently rocked back and forth with Sarah’s head resting on Danny’s shoulder. She could hear his heart pounding.
From behind the curtain, Emilie faintly hummed “Amazing Grace”; a soft smile rested on her lips.
THE FOLD
“He’s okay, but he’s not okay,” Tommy said just above a whisper, peering through the thin crack between the door and the frame. “His eyes, his face, his behavior, they’re all different now.” He walked about his study as he described Danny’s condition to Dr. Rankin. “The other day we were playin’ ball after church and Pastor Mike hit a grounder to him, and he just stood there…stood right ther
e and watched it go by. Didn’t try…didn’t move…then walked to the dugout.” He once again looked out his study at Danny doing his homework at the kitchen table.
“Uh-huh. What’s he like during the day? Is he interacting with everyone?” asked Dr. Rankin.
“Well,” Tommy started, “he won’t participate in church, will hardly eat, and doesn’t ride his horse. It’s like a little…zombie…moping through my house. He’s a great kid and I know he’s been through a lot, but we don’t know what to do!”
Dr. Rankin remained silent.
“And there’s more…” he reluctantly admitted.
“More what?” Dr. Rankin probed.
“He…” Tommy hesitated, “he says he’s having these dreams where…he sees…the wreck happen. That he’s above the car and watches it happen! I know what happened and it’s weird that he knows these things in such detail.”
“How often does he have these dreams?” the doctor inquired.
“It’s more like when doesn’t he. Each time he has this dream he comes into our room, stands at the side of the bed, and he’ll be starin’ at me ’n Sarah with his eyes wide open, sound asleep. And…I’ll feel him there. I know somehow he’s there and wake up…then…he starts reciting what happened. And each time there’s a little more than what he said previously.”
“Does he try to go anywhere? Get out of the house? Hide?”
“Nah. He’ll say what he’s got to say and I’ll tell him to go back to bed. He says okay and I’ll follow him. Doesn’t even know he’s doin’ it!” Tommy sat down with a hard slump. “Do these kinda things happen a lot?”
“Well, normally, no,” Dr. Rankin replied. “Most people who are—”
“He says he saw the driver of that car shoot a woman!” Tommy interrupted. “Now how do you explain that?”
“Well—” Dr. Rankin began, but was again cut off.
“That’s just weird! My son’s telling me what happened twenty minutes before a wreck that he didn’t witness after he’s been in a coma for four months!”
Dr. Rankin finally had an opportunity to speak. “Danny is more than likely going through what is called posttraumatic stress syndrome. Now, some can identify their own problem, or problems, and work themselves out of whatever it is that’s happened: the death of a parent or sibling, people who have gone to war, whatever. They can work themselves out of it and go on with their lives.”
“But…?” Tommy pushed.
“Well, some can’t, or won’t, and block out everything else,” he stated frankly. “They get emotionally and psychologically trapped in the ‘if only’ and the ‘why me’ of the situation.”
Tommy wrote down the doctor’s hypothesis as he dictated.
“Some go so deep into depression that who we once knew ceases to exist. Some withdraw from society, some drink, some do drugs, some commit suicide.”
“Do you think Danny’s that bad off?”
“I’m not saying that,” Dr. Rankin stated. “I’m saying it’s too early in the game to tell. Danny’s been out of the hospital now for less than four weeks. His greatest strength right now is you and Sarah just being there for him, letting him know that you love him, hearing your voice, seeing your faces, constant positive interaction. Danny’s world disappeared without him knowing it and these wounds, these are deep…and they’re gonna take a long time to heal. He’s going to need your patience.”
Tommy watched Sarah as she helped Danny with his homework.
Dr. Rankin offered a suggestion. “Now for his dreams, I don’t know what I can do. But there’s a counselor I want you to see. Her name is Tracey. She deals primarily with children with communication problems that stem from just such a loss. She’s excellent in providing an outside voice to keep things kind of fresh and light. I think you’ll like her. I’ll call and see about setting up an appointment maybe next week for late Friday. Is that okay?”
The roads were wet that Friday afternoon; an early winter cold front had blown in. It wasn’t cold enough to freeze but cold enough, nonetheless. Tommy was driving the family home from the city after their first meeting with Tracey, the counselor Dr. Rankin recommended. “Well, that wasn’t so bad!” he said jovially, looking at Danny in the rearview mirror. “I kinda liked it. Didn’t you, Sarah?” He nudged her with a wink.
“Yeah!” she declared, turning herself sideways in the seat. “She seemed nice. Real attentive, too. I think it’ll be good for all of us!”
Tommy and Sarah smiled to each other, then to the back seat.
“What do you think, Danny?” Sarah asked.
Danny sat quietly, staring out the back passenger window.
Once Sarah turned forward, Danny finally answered, quietly, “She was all right.”
Tommy looked in the mirror, then turned to Sarah as he took her hand in his. “Good! See? Making progress already!”
“Baby, can we get something to eat?” Sarah suggested. “I’m hungry. And I mean hooon-greee! Danny, son, you hungry? Can ya eat?” Again, no answer. “I bet I could eat two longhorn burgers,” she proclaimed.
“Dano? Ya hungry?” Tommy asked with a slight turn of his head to the back seat.
Again, after a long pause, Danny stated bluntly, “Yeah, I can eat.”
“Well, let’s go celebrate!” Tommy declared, bouncing slightly in the seat. “Let’s go to the Longhorn! That sound all right with ya’ll? ’Cuz I’m in the mooooood for eatin’ a steak!” He bellowed like a cow. “Get it? Moooood? Longhorn? Steakhouse? Get it?” Tommy overexaggerated his laughter to make his wife and son smile. He stretched his long arm over the bench seat back in search of his son. Danny squirmed to get away but to no avail; his father’s large and muscular hand found his knee and began to pinch. After weeks of relative silence, Danny broke the quiet routine with beautiful childish laughter; music to their hearts.
Tommy pulled into the parking lot of the Longhorn Ranch House and all three scrambled to get in out of the frigid, driving rain. Once inside, a majority of the patrons stopped to stare at the family. Tommy led the way across the dining room to their usual table, whereupon some conversations resumed. Danny hesitated, though, as he panned the room, uncomfortable with the many faces watching him.
“What’chu all lookin’ at?” Ernestine, the waitress, quipped with a wave of her towel in the air. “Danny, you go right on in, hon. Me or Lorien will be right with ya.” With that, she gently swatted the young cowboy on his behind to set him on his way. As he passed the tables, the faces gradually made the transition from stares to smiles as pats, hugs, and winks helped to build up his self-esteem.
As he walked through the diner greeting the locals, Danny spied Jessica and her family on the far side of the restaurant, sitting near the corner. He took off his coat and hung it on the back of the chair, all the while transfixed on Jessica. “I’ll be right back,” Danny stated confidently.
“Well, whadya want to drink?” Tommy asked.
As Danny turned to answer his father, both of them said, “DP.”
“Go get her, Superman!” Tommy encouraged with a nod of his head.
Mr. Holder looked up to see Danny approaching their table. “Mr. and Mrs. Holder?” Danny asked softly, hesitant to interrupt dinner. Jessica whipped around in her chair at the sound of Danny’s voice.
Mrs. Holder dropped her fork to happily greet him. “Well, hello, Danny! How are you? C’mere and give me a hug!”
He leaned into Mrs. Holder as she squeezed him.
“Oh! It is so good to see you!” She folded Danny’s arms down and pushed him back a little to get a good up-and-down look.
“Put ’er there, partner!” Mr. Holder leaned back around his wife and extended his hand. “Good to see you. Ya sure picked a cold night to be out! How ya feelin’?”
Danny pulled his arm back, but did not answer right away.
Jessica spoke up before he could answer. “Hi, Danny Lee.”
“Hey, Jess,” he answered. The two gazed at each other briefly befor
e Jessica’s signature blush emerged, then turned away. “I’m all right, I guess,” Danny finally answered Mr. Holder. “We just went to a doctor to talk for a while.”
“Oh! You and your parents go to a counselor?” Mrs. Holder inquired, hungry for gossip. Mr. Holder slightly pinched her elbow, embarrassed.
“Yes, ma’am. We went so we could kinda…kinda say what we’re all thinking.”
“Well, that’s good, Danny. Real good!” Mr. Holder stated, then finished the conversation with, “You tell your mom and dad we wish ’em the best!”
“Yes, sir. Ya’ll have a good night.”
Mr. and Mrs. Holder smiled and nodded politely to Danny as he turned to walk away.
Jessica spun around to look at Danny once more and softly called, “See ya, Danny Lee.”
Two hours later, Danny strode into the kitchen dressed in his long thermal pajamas and thick socks, ready for bed. “G’nite, Momma,” he said as Sarah loaded the dishwasher.
“Good night? You’re usually the last to turn in on a Friday!” she said, surprised. “You feeling all right? Anything wrong?”
“No,” he said. “I think I just ate too much and my brain is tired.”
“Oh! The ol’ splodin’-full-belly-tired-brain syndrome, huh?” Sarah diagnosed, tickling her son. “That’s the worstest and most serioustest of all the dromes. Well, okay. We’ll see you in the morning. I love you.” She bent over, hugged and kissed her son, then pat him on the behind. “Snickle britches!”
“‘Nite, Mom,” he mumbled, heading toward his father’s study.
Danny peeked through a crack in the door and watched his father make a fire then light his pipe.
Tommy looked up from his desk as Danny pushed the door open slightly. “Hey, tiger!” You cold? It ain’ that bad. Thanksgiving’s just a week away.”
Danny sat on his knees in one of the arm chairs and leaned over his father’s desk. “Daddy?” he asked, timidly.
“What? You okay? You…you wanna talk or something?” He pushed back his chair and approached his son. Danny quickly stood in the armchair and embraced his father.
The Folds Page 10