This Deep Panic

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This Deep Panic Page 24

by Lisa Stowe

Artair looked around the site. “She was here after breakfast. When we started packing up.”

  “Alegria!” Ramon shouted, his stomach knotting into a heavy weight that pulled his heart down.

  There was no answer.

  Marie turned in a circle slowly, then stopped, pointing. “What’s that?”

  A small river rock sat on the hood of the truck, vibrating gently with the running engine. Ramon took two quick steps to the truck. Under the rock was one of the empty hot chocolate packets. He dropped the rock with nerveless fingers. His niece’s childish handwriting scrawled across the brand.

  I want mom.

  Ben took the paper from Ramon’s nerveless fingers, glanced at it, then wadded into a tiny ball. “Get in the truck, Mother. We all need to get back down the road.”

  “She can’t have gone too far.” Artair put his hand on Ramon’s arm as if to reassure him.

  Ramon pushed his hand off off and jerked open the door to the truck. The kid didn’t know Alegria. How stubborn she was. When they found her, he was going to figure out some sort of leash. Keep her tied to him from here on out so he knew where she was every moment of the day. Matter of fact he was going to leash both girls.

  “You’re grinding your teeth, Tío,” Marie said, climbing into the truck. “We’ll find her. She’ll be sitting on the side of the road crying and waiting for us. You know how she is. Gets an idea, gets pig-headed, and then gets in trouble.”

  “She’s going to get in trouble all right,” Ramon said.

  Ben worked the truck around to face the direction they’d come. Ramon bounced against the doorframe as the truck went over the rocks that had ringed their fire. He gripped the back of the seat as if squeezing it would make the truck go faster.

  And then the rain came back.

  4

  Alegria jogged down the rough forest service road, gripping her arm to her chest with her good hand to support it. Her shoulder ached deeply. Almost as deeply as the ache in her chest and throat that felt like her heart was broke. She wanted nothing more than to run back to the camp, to her sister and her uncle. Her knees were shaky with fear. Fear that her uncle would come get her and make her go back. Fear that he wouldn’t come get her and something would come out of the trees. Fear that she would never see her mom again.

  Fear made her keep going and fear made her want to turn back.

  At least going back down the narrow track was easier since debris had been pushed out of the way when they drove the truck through.

  Her dark eyes scanned the fringe of forest as she ran. She believed her sister. She knew there were scary things out there. But there were always scary things in the world. And it wasn’t like she could do anything about it.

  Besides, she knew how afraid for them her mother must be, and that meant she needed to be brave.

  When her uncle came to live with them she’d been happy. The family all together like they were supposed to be. She couldn’t remember when she realized that Tío knew her father was doing something bad, too. She couldn’t tell her father that Tío watched him, and couldn’t tell her uncle that her father swapped spit with the neighbor’s babysitter. Either confession betrayed someone she loved.

  And in the middle was her mother with her gentle voice and loving hands. She’d come home from standing all day in the hair salon, smelling like perm solution, exhaustion making shadows under her eyes. Any confession would break her heart.

  Two days before the earthquake, her mother told Alegria that she was going to have a baby brother or sister. No one else knew. It made Alegria proud that she was trusted. Made her feel grown up. Maybe even more loved than Marie. It was their secret, her and her beautiful mother.

  She knew then she’d have to be strong. Keep the secrets about their family. She would talk Tío into not doing something stupid like beating up her dad. Or better yet, she’d find a way to make her father stop. If he knew she’d seen him, he’d change. For her. She knew it. She’d keep the family together. Her mother would be happy again.

  But then the quake hit. And her mother was cut off from home somewhere, pregnant, and without Alegria to help her.

  Sitting around the fire eating the breakfast of oatmeal, the obvious action settled on her shoulders. The others could go on. But she had to go back. If the flood in Sultan wasn’t gone, she’d swim. She was a good swimmer. And when she got to the collapsed overpass in Monroe that blocked the way, she’d climb. She was a good climber, too.

  She’d get to Snohomish and save her mother.

  A few fat raindrops fell, pattering softly on leaves. A few more fell, soaking into Alegria’s hair and running down her neck in cold little streams. Maybe she should have taken time to grab her rain gear. Or at least a hat.

  A low rumble came through the trees and she recognized the Old Crusher’s big engine. So they’d already found out she was gone.

  She tried to run faster but a sudden side-ache bloomed and made her breath hitch. She stopped, pressing her hand against her waist as she gulped for air. She couldn’t outrun the truck. And her Tío would make her go back with them. She hesitated, torn between wanting to be saved and safe and wanting to find her mother.

  She drew in a ragged breath. Her mother needed her.

  So she’d have to hide. There were lots of hiding places now that the woods were so destroyed.

  She scrambled over a downed tree, hitting her arm against the trunk and gasping at the sharp pain. On the other side, she dropped down into the wet earth, pressing back against the big log hiding her from view. She held still, trying to be quiet as a mouse, but then laughed.

  They’d never hear her over the noise of the truck.

  The rumble grew closer and she shifted in her hiding spot to get away from a rock poking her hip. The woods, with trees standing and broken from the quake and others shattered on the ground around her, was full of deep green shadows.

  The brief laughter died. Something moved out there. Something solid. Not one of the shadows her sister saw. Something massive. A bear. A not-bear. Her shattered thoughts tried to form meaning out of what moved toward her through the trees.

  But it was too big. She saw the body covered in black bristles. Saw the monstrous teeth and bear-like claws.

  Screams tore her throat, ripped up into the rain.

  And were drowned by the sound of the truck’s passing.

  Alegria scrambled to her feet and clawed her way on to the downed tree. Bark bit into her hands. Her knee slipped on wet moss and she came down on her stomach hard. She struggled to breathe as she rolled over the tree and hit the ground on the other side. Her shoulder made a sick, wet, popping sound and her arm went numb.

  She got to her knees and pushed up with her good hand. The forest floor under her trembled with the impact of the thing coming. Branches snapped. Heavy breathing, like low grunts, drew close.

  Alegria tried to scream but she didn’t have the breath. She pulled herself up and looked around, eyes wild. Where could she go? The forest stretched forever. Help was gone. There was no shelter, no door to lock behind her. She stumbled onto the logging road, fell again to her knee, pushed up, and ran in the direction the Old Crusher had gone. They’d come back. They had to.

  She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know the thing was coming after her.

  Up ahead something else moved in the trees. Alegria gasped out a small, breathless scream. Another monster. Maybe she could get past it before it reached the road.

  Pain bit sharply into her side and her breath hitched. Holding her arm tight to her chest to cushion her shoulder, she ran like she’d never run. But whatever was ahead of her was fast, too. She saw it in flashes of brown through the trees still standing. She saw glimpses of a shape as it moved through the destruction from the quake. It was going to pass her, to come out on the road ahead of her.

  She couldn’t help it. She risked a glance over her shoulder. The thing behind her was coming in a long-legged loping run. It was only a few yards behind her. Sh
e cried out, heart racing in terror.

  The thing ahead of her roared. She twisted round, stumbled over a rock, and came down hard. Agony from her shoulder was a bright, white heat and for a brief second she was gone, carried away by pain and horror.

  Something touched her and she screamed, brought back to cold ground and gray skies and monsters.

  But it was a boy leaning over her. He caught her arm, pulled her to her feet. She twisted fiercely against his hands.

  “Run!” Her mind screamed the word but what came out was a whisper strangled by pounding heart and heaving lungs.

  The boy pointed.

  The shape in the trees ahead of her was another monster, but one her frozen mind could wrap around. With a massive roar the grizzly bear charged. The boy pulled Alegria off the road. Her knee banged into a downed log and she felt something wrench inside. But the boy wouldn’t allow her to stop. He hauled her up and over the log and then half-dragged her a few feet to a still-standing tree.

  Behind her, the battle roared. Tears coursed down her cheeks and deep tremors raced through her body.

  The boy’s hands cupped her cheeks, turning her to face him. His hands were warm like summer sun. She tried to turn back to the battle, but he shook his head and held her so that she only saw the deep walnut-brown of his eyes.

  He leaned back against the red bark of the tree behind him. His eyes were gentle. So calm. Alegria couldn’t look away. Her racing heart slowed. Her breathing deepened. She thought he was hugging her. She felt his arms come around her. And then warmth. A deep, almost steamy, warmth that wrapped slowly around her body. For the briefest moment there was no air, she couldn’t breathe, she was going to die, and then life came back.

  The boy was gone but still there, surrounding her in a deep red-gold light like a setting sun after a storm. The moist air smelled of cinnamon and wood. She felt enclosed, cocooned. Pain receded and was gone. She couldn’t move, but there was no need to run anymore. Time slowed and slowed and slowed. Her eyes closed but she saw all. Her feet sank into the beautifully loamy forest floor. Her arms stretched up, her hair moving in high, gentle winds.

  She breathed deep, so deep, pulling life into her being.

  Grizzlies and monsters and lost mothers were the merest irritation, like the minute flutters of wings against bark, meaningless in the long slow cycles of earth.

  And then all sense of Alegria was gone.

  5

  Sharon bit into her second cold McChicken sandwich. Tessa and Connor sat next to her, rustling in bags and also eating cold burgers. She shook her head in disgust. They looked like some kind of weird product-placement scene in an apocalyptic movie.

  At least it had stopped raining for the moment. The only good thing so far. The late morning was still cold and her clothes still clammy. Maybe she’d die of hypothermia. They had no fire and nothing to build one with. They had no blankets or cold weather gear and Tessa huddled against Connor for warmth.

  Sharon swallowed the last congealed bite. If hypothermia didn’t get her, maybe she’d die of food poisoning.

  She wadded up the wrapper and dropped it on the ground when she stood. Connor opened his mouth as if to say something, but when he met her eyes he kept quiet. Maybe he realized there was no one coming to enforce littering laws.

  She walked away from the jeep and young people, stepping carefully over torn up asphalt, lifted and twisted like waves. They were at the end of usable highway. Ahead of her the Skykomish River roared, underscored by the low rumble of boulders dropping and tumbling. The High Bridge was gone, nothing now but debris piled up in a river that was slowly backing up behind the mess. Eventually all that was going to break free when the pressure of the river became too strong. Sharon pitied anyone downstream when that happened.

  It had taken them a full day and most of the night to get out of Sultan, past the high water, past the terrified people. All those vehicles pushing, pushing, forcing their way out of the city, seemed to have given up when they reached Gold Bar. But that city was so devastated Sharon saw no reason to stay, to become part of a crowd destined to starve to death. She’d pointed that out and the kids hadn’t had the energy to argue. So Connor kept driving.

  Until, sometime in the middle of the night, they’d ended up at the High Bridge. The end of the road. Literally. Exhausted and traumatized, Tessa and Connor fell asleep sitting propped against each other on a bench seat. But Sharon hadn’t slept. She felt no need for sleep. Instead, she’d sat in the driver’s seat, shivering in the cold and watching the black night slowly lighten to gray.

  She knew it wouldn’t be long before others came up the highway. Until this spot became a logjam of cars and people striving to get some place the quake hadn’t touched.

  But for them, here and now, it meant they were done heading east. If the shadows followed them, there wasn’t any place left to go, to get away. It gave her a deep sense of relief. She was no longer responsible for getting the kids someplace safe. They could camp out here or go back on their own. The decision was out of her hands. She could leave any time she wanted. Walk back the way they’d come, if need be. Once out of their sight, she knew she’d find any number of ways to die. She shivered again. Even if it was just hypothermia.

  The greasy food sat like a stone in her stomach. All those years of eating healthy so she’d live longer. That had done a lot of good. If she had access to the now-under- water Galaxy Chocolates in Sultan, she’d gorge herself on their signature salted caramels. Or maybe she’d walk into Panera Bread, order a whole loaf of garlic and olive oil bread and eat it by herself.

  Or, god, even a mug of strong coffee. She crossed her arms over her chest for warmth then winced, catching her breath. The pain in her breast was like a sharp knife being inserted and twisted. The doctor had told her the pain would get worse, had told her she’d end up taking morphine. She’d thrown the prescription at him. Told him she wouldn’t be around long enough for the pain to count.

  And yet here she was, still breathing. She should have taken the prescription and filled it instead of throwing a dramatic martyr fit. She could have overdosed days ago and missed all the McChicken sandwiches with their soggy buns.

  At the cliff edge where the bridge should have been, Sharon stopped and looked over the rim. It wouldn’t be hard at all to just step out into air. Either the rocks or the river would take care of things nicely.

  “Don’t get too close,” Connor said behind her. “You might fall.”

  Sharon pressed a palm against her pounding heart. “No shit. Especially when some idiot kid sneaks up behind you.”

  “Oh, sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Did you want something?” Sharon wondered how rude she’d have to be to get him to leave so she could face that cliff edge again.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, someone’s coming.” Connor gestured. “We can hear an engine. Up that track there. Tessa thought maybe you should come back. We should stick close in case they’re, you know, bad guys.”

  “Bad guys?”

  Connor shrugged. “With the world gone to hell, no police around, and no way to call for help, people aren’t going to need to follow civilized rules any more, are they? I mean, society’s probably dead. Or at least going to be comatose for a long time.”

  He had a point. Sharon shoved her hands into the pockets of her slacks. “Lead on then.”

  Connor headed back toward the jeep and she followed, hoping for bad guys. Maybe she could sacrifice herself saving the kids. Go out in glory.

  The sound of the engine grew louder. Sharon joined the kids and it dawned on her they’d just lined up in a perfect row of targets along the side of the jeep. Connor looked tentative as if not sure whether to be scared or not. Tessa just looked terrified. Their every-day lives gone, the things they took for granted, taken. Last week on the cusp of adulthood, striving to be so mature with jobs and lives slowly separating from their parents. And today they were children again, staring petrified into devastation.
/>   Sharon realized suddenly that she didn’t want anything to happen to them. They didn’t ask for this, didn’t deserve it, shouldn’t die. She stepped in front of the pair.

  A big old truck with a homemade camper came jolting down the logging road, going too fast. She recognized it as the one she’d seen crossing the Wallace River back in Sultan. She couldn’t see the driver yet, but whoever it was hit the brakes. Before the truck came to a complete stop, the back door was thrown open and a Hispanic man leaped out. He ran toward them and Sharon saw something like panic in his dark eyes.

  “Have you seen a little girl?” He grabbed Connor’s arm. “My niece. Have you seen her?”

  “No, man,” Connor said, shaking his arm free and rubbing his bicep.

  The man ran to the back of the jeep and pulled open the doors. “Alegria!”

  Sharon watched an old couple and a teenage boy and girl get out of the truck, leaving the engine idling. The girl trailed behind the others, her eyes scanning side to side, as if searching. Sharon shivered, the hairs on her arms suddenly erect. She didn’t think the teenager was looking for the same thing the man was.

  “Is she here?” the old man said.

  “No.” The guy turned to Sharon. “How long have you been here? Which direction did you come from? Did you pass anyone on the road?”

  “Ramon,” the old man said. “Slow down, son, and think. There’s no way Alegria made it this far on foot, in the time she’s been gone.”

  “Unless someone grabbed her. Another rig, maybe, coming up that road.”

  The man, Ramon, was in full-blown panic, pupils dilated, hands shaking.

  “Dude,” Connor said. “We’ve been here most of the night. No one’s gone by.”

  Ramon caught at the teenage girl’s arm and half-carried her back to their truck. “We go back. We must have missed her. Turn this thing around.”

  “Wait!” Tessa shouted, taking a step toward the strangers.

  Sharon saw a blush wash across her cheeks.

  The old woman was the only one to pause. “We have to find our girl.”

 

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