by Abby Ayles
“What, are you ready to flee?” the Duke laughed harshly, with no humor in it.
Christopher lifted his head and faced him, looking him in the eye, man to man. There was going to be no mistake. He would be heard, and he would accept nothing else.
“I am a good man,” he said, carefully enunciating his words, keeping them calm despite the growing righteous fury that he felt.
“I am an honorable man. I treat women with respect – and if I have courted others in the past, there was nothing more to it. All that ceased when I knew that Juliana, who herself was betrothed last year, still held a flame for me.”
The Duke opened his mouth as if to retort, but Christopher lifted his hand and plowed on firmly.
“I am not going to back down, nor run from you,” he said. “I know I have had my shortcomings in the past, but they do not approach anywhere near what you accuse me of.
“I intend to spend the rest of my life proving, through my good conduct as a soldier and gentlemanly behavior, that I am not who you say I am.
“My acquaintance with Rivers was a mistake that has blighted me, but it is over. I do not associate with men of such low character to bring ruin of that kind. I have sisters. I would not encourage any behavior that might endanger a woman.”
Beside him, Christopher saw Juliana moving towards him from the corner of his eye. He saw how she warmed to him, came back to his side, and he knew he was getting somewhere.
“I know I have not been worthy of Lady Juliana,” he said, making sure to include her title so that he could not be accused of undeserved familiarity.
“I have been working tirelessly to raise myself up and make that the case. I have been a rowdy boy, an ungracious one. That has all ended.
“I will not be found in my cups; I will not be seen to court another woman; I will not stray from my duties and my place. I intend to be such a Lieutenant as the world has ever seen – but only until I can be such a Captain.”
The Duke remained unimpressed, though he had stopped trying to interrupt. “And you think that will make you worthy of her hand?” he said.
“I know it will,” Christopher replied fiercely. “And even if it should not, I will not be broken. I will strive on, and on. If Captain is not enough, if my reputation and name are not reformed, I will not be content until I am a Major.”
The Duke nodded, and for the barest moment, Christopher even allowed himself to believe that he had won the man over.
“Do as you will,” he said. “By the time a man like you manages to bribe his way to becoming a Major, Juliana will be long wed with children running around her ankles. If you ever even make it.”
Christopher set his jaw. “And if that is the case,” he said, drawing a deep breath from his lungs and sending out all his most ardent feelings with it.
“I shall be the finest Major in the land, for I will not be distracted by wife nor children. And I will wait. And if one day Juliana should find herself a widow, then I will make my suit again – and if she does not, I will die a bachelor, borne still by her love.”
The Duke grunted. It may have been a sign of his approval; an approval that he could not bear to state out loud. It may not. But Christopher chose to believe, for his own sanity, that his words had had some impact.
When he glanced at Juliana, he wished that he had not: for shining in her eyes there was such love that it was as much as he could do to restrain himself from kissing her right then and there.
“Come, Juliana,” the Duke said abruptly, grasping her arm and pulling her to her feet. “You have a carriage waiting for you.”
Then he marched away, dragging Juliana along with him.
She looked back at Christopher once, her tear-stained face a mask of misery, and then the privacy afforded to them by the features of the garden swallowed her from his sight.
Chapter 25
It was a miserable journey.
The Duke had brought his own carriage, and so there was no reason to wait for the others. It seemed they were satisfied enough for Mary to remain under Lady Easterby’s supervision, even though that woman had been the one to allow Juliana to slip away unseen.
It was just like them, Juliana thought, to be tyrannical with her and lackadaisical with Mary.
The carriage wound its way back across the countryside until they arrived back at what Juliana was dismayed to see as the Woode estate.
She had half-hoped that they might return home, at least, so that she would not have to put up with these overtures any longer.
“Juliana,” the Duke of Prighton said, turning towards her as they began the long drive down the route to the home. “You will listen to me now.”
His voice was steel, and bade her to look up and pay attention. When she did, there was a fierce and vindictive flame burning in his eyes that made her fear to turn away.
“This playing is over now. If you disobey us, you will find that your life is not what you have dreamt of. Do not imagine for a second that your failure to marry John Woode will make us consider Christopher Hardwicke in a different light.”
Juliana noted his disdainful avoidance of titles with both of them, but made no comment. She was afraid to say anything. She was not under the impression that this was a conversation.
“You will do as you are told,” the Duke said firmly. He reached out and grasped her wrists, holding them in front of her so that she had to lean forward towards him.
“John Woode will court you, and you will let him. In fact, you will encourage him. When he proposes to you, you will accept, and pray to God that when your mother and I are gone from the Earth your husband will be taken too, so that you might, at last, have your soldier boy. Until that time, becoming Lady John Woode is the only goal that you will pursue.”
Juliana nodded quietly. She could feel how much trouble she was in; how far over the line she had crossed. His vice-like grip on her wrists was painful, and she did not want to push him any further.
He released her as the carriage pulled up, leaving her to rub at the red and white marks left behind where he had gripped her skin so tightly.
That was that; she had been told, and warned. If she disobeyed them now, she knew, it was serious. There was no escape from this.
Shaken, Juliana took her time in disembarking, and made her way up to her room as quickly as she could. Alone there, she could resume crying, and wait in the light of a single candle for Mary to return.
***
The days passed in even worse torment than they had previously. Juliana’s step-father remained a guest in the house, and watched her every move with a hawk-like intensity.
There was no hope of getting any sort of message out to Christopher, and no possible way she could refuse the advances of John Woode with his presence beside her.
“Oh, Mary,” Juliana groaned, in a brief moment of respite as the two of them prepared for sleep. “I am never getting out of here. I will be John Woode’s wife before I ever breathe the air of home.”
“It is not exactly a terrible dungeon that we are locked in,” Mary said impatiently, casting a gesture around the room. “This is one of the finest homes I have ever heard of, let alone seen. You could do much worse.”
“It is not the home I am interested in,” Juliana said bitterly. Her friend knew as much! Why was she being so unsupportive?
“The husband, too, might be one that others envy,” Mary said.
“I can’t imagine who, or why,” Juliana scoffed. “I’ve never met such a boring man in all of my life.”
“A boring man is at least a stable one,” Mary snapped. It seemed she was really losing her temper.
“At least he is not a cheat, or a swindler, or a louse. Interesting men tend to be the ones we should stay away from. Or has the ongoing tale of Jasper Rivers not proven that?”
Juliana quirked an eyebrow. Was that what this was about? “Mary,” she said, with a wondering tone. “Can it be that you were taken with Jasper Rivers?”
It w
as Mary’s turn to scoff. “Such a man is of no interest to me,” she declared.
But Juliana filed it away, all the same. Something was clearly upsetting her friend about the whole topic.
Which meant that complaining about her lot with John Woode was, largely, off the table.
Juliana felt alone and lost. Without even the opportunity to have her friend take her side in the privacy of their bedroom, she had no outlet for her misery.
Though she still forgot from time to time, of course, and made some comment that Mary would entirely ignore – or pointedly yawn at.
Juliana was taken aback by Mary’s behavior, though she had to admit that the saga had gone on long enough. Poor Mary had listened to it all, and all the while feeling secretly as though she would never be married herself, as she had lately confessed.
Though her first instinct was to rebuke her friend, Juliana let it pass. If they were to quarrel, she would truly be alone, without an ally in any matter. That could not come to pass.
So it went that she walked with John Woode in the extensive grounds of the house, and listened to him drone on about the different kinds of trees.
She accompanied him on visits of mercy to the local parishioners who lived in the small village near the estate, handing out bread and little treats for the children, and heard his devout plans for the parsonage he would claim.
She sat with him at dinner and watched him chew bland foods and proclaim them excellent.
In short, she did everything that was required of her in outward attitude; though she could not force her insides to change. Nor would she have, if she could.
Her only thought, one that consumed every waking moment and entered even into her dreams, was how she was going to escape.
For if John Woode were to propose to her before she was able to come to some sort of plan, she would never be able to escape at all.
Chapter 26
It was with a heavy heart that Christopher returned to his barracks, his visit to his family done.
Edmund had been nothing but sympathetic, if not exactly supportive. There had been a look in his eyes which Christopher understood to mean that Edmund thought his bridges burnt, and no recourse now for reclaiming his bride.
It was tiring enough to live under this burden, this weight of need to become the man he had to be. Explaining it and arguing the point with his brother was not something that Christopher wished to add to his workload.
So he returned, feeling as though he had not an ally in the world who would support him in his mission – and knowing that he had to complete it all the same, if his heart was ever going to be whole again.
He returned his trunk to its accustomed place, and saw with some relief that the extra bunk in his room had not yet been appropriated by another man.
He was having a hard time enough with his personal heartbreak, and sharing his space with someone else would not help to lighten that load.
The one thing he did discover waiting for him, however, was a bundle of letters stacked neatly on top of his cot. They must have been collected for him and brought there each time they arrived, waiting for him to return.
It was the evening already, and Christopher had no hunger for supper. He sat down instead by the light of a candle, and began to read through his correspondence.
One was a letter from Edmund, telling him that the new baby had arrived; he must have sent it before Christopher managed to make it to the house. This one he kept all the same, as it was a touching reminder of a special moment for his family.
Another was from a man he had trained with, a soldier who had remained on duty at their old barracks when Jasper and Christopher had moved. He was seeking a meeting to relive old times, it seemed, on the barely concealed pretext of borrowing money.
Christopher tossed this one aside, thinking to burn it later.
The next was addressed in a hand that he did not recognize. He entered the envelope and brought it out, and was surprised beyond measure by what he read.
To my handsome Lieutenant,
It is your Kitty here! I do hope that you have not forgotten me already now that you are gone from Bath and back in the barracks. They tell me that soldiers can be fickle, heads turned easily. I do hope they are wrong!
I have thought of little else but you since our last meeting. I see the two of us together – Kit and Kitty, what a picture! My heart burns for the day when we can meet again.
I hope it will be soon. I am to attend a gathering not far from where you are stationed. There will be much merry dancing and I do so wish that you will be there.
My heart is waiting to see yours once more! Do tell me you will be there – oh, please do!
I am resolved that not another man will ever be the subject of my affections, so if you are unable to meet me then, I will write again to organize another meeting. I have enclosed details of the event here.
Yours with much longing,
Miss Kitty White
Christopher fought back a groan as he read the letter again, slower this time, trying to make sure that he did not miss anything. What a fine mess this was turning out to be!
Here he was, trying to do the right thing and resolving to live his life in a way that would bring only honor, and now this girl was apparently infatuated with him. She could not possibly be good news for him – not possibly!
What would Juliana think if she were to catch wind of all of this?
Christopher passed back and forth in his quarters, glad of the extra space since there was no one to occupy the other half of the room.
He held the letter firmly grasped in his hand, and from time to time he would look down to skim a passage again or make sure of a certain turn of phrasing.
What should he do about all of it? That was the question, the big thing that he had to answer now. If he could figure out a course of action which put everything right with the least possible risk, everything might turn out just fine.
After all, he couldn’t leave things as they were. Kitty seemed determined to see him again, and if he refused, she might kick up some sort of fuss.
As far as Christopher could see it, there was only one option open to him.
He would go to this gathering, see Kitty, and tell her there in person that there was no future for them. He would have to be as gentle as possible, but she needed to know. She needed to move on to ideas on another man.
Once done, he would simply leave – return to the barracks. He wouldn’t even need to take a period of leave. It would be that quick and simple.
Well, quick, at least.
Christopher readied himself several nights later, dressing as usual in the fine red uniform that he reserved for social outings in order to ensure it did not show the wear of age.
He did not take as much care as he might have done if he was seeing Juliana; that was natural. But he did know that he would be seen, and that he needed to appear put-together and steady. If he did not, Kitty might have course not to believe his declarations.
It would be so easy for her to decide that he was harried or over-tired, and that he did not mean what he said but was being forced to say it.
With all of these careful thoughts swirling inside his head, Christopher hailed a coach from outside the barracks and boarded, giving the driver his instructions.
He fancied that he would even have the man wait; after all, he did not intend to be inside for longer than it took to explain to her why they could not be together.
After that, he had no reason to be at this place. There was no need for him to meet another, and he had no intention of drinking or falling about in revelry.
Those days were behind him, as he had vowed.
Besides, it would probably be painful for Kitty to look upon him after her dreams had been shattered. Perhaps she would even cry. He should make the best of it if he left right away, leaving her to the comfort of her friends and not lingering to remind her of her upset.
For once in his life, he was going to do th
e right thing; and it was unfortunate that this right thing would be painful for her. But at the very least, it was a step in the right direction – a direction he had sworn to the Duke of Prighton that he would take.
Christopher got down from his coach, watching others along the road do the same as they headed into the bustling local village hall. He squared his shoulders, bade the man to wait, and marched forward.
He had a mission to complete, and though it would not be a pleasant one, he was resolved beyond measure to see it done.
Chapter 27