by E. E. Holmes
“Look, she didn’t just bring me there to warn me. She had specific instructions for me. I am supposed to find the three people here and now who will understand her warning and know what to do about it. The first is the High Priestess of the International High Council. The second is the High Priestess of the Traveler Clans. And the third is the Keeper of the Elementals, whatever that means. I have to get her message to them, because… well, because she told me to.”
A loaded silence met this pronouncement. It stretched on for so long that I became afraid to dare to break it. Finally, Hannah cleared her throat.
“You’re serious. You… you really spoke to her.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“This is madness,” Flavia whispered. “This is utter madness.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you in the least,” I said with a sigh.
“You do realize what you’re saying, don’t you?” Milo asked. “That you’ve somehow gone back in time and that your own ancestor told you that the Durupinen aren’t actually supposed to be the Durupinen at all?”
“Yes. I promise you, I do know exactly what I’m saying, and also how ludicrous it sounds.”
“Okay,” Finn said, and he ran his hands over his face and through his hair, his eyes closed, his eyebrows pulled into a deep, contemplative “v” below his creased forehead. “Okay. Okay, let’s all just slow down for a minute here.”
“Finn, there’s no time to slow—”
“Jess, I believe you, love, truly I do, but you’ve got to appreciate that we need a moment to process all of this. It’s a lot of information to be hit with after forty-eight hours of worrying and waiting.”
I swallowed back my impatience, trying hard to imagine how I would feel hearing this information again for the first time, but my overwrought brain couldn’t quite manage it. Even as Agnes had told it to me, even as the truth invaded my ears and burrowed its way into my heart like a scared animal, I hadn’t doubted it even for a moment. How could they hear that same truth from me now and not understand instantly that it was both very real and very urgent?
Finn took one last deep breath and seemed to master himself. He turned to Flavia. “You’re the Scribe. Have you ever come across anything at all that might have hinted at what Jess has told us?”
Flavia shook her head. “No. The origins of our lore begin with our gift. Before that, there is nothing.”
“Our gift,” Hannah whispered, her eyes wide. “Is it possible it isn’t a gift at all? Is it possible we really… took it?”
“I don’t dare consider it,” Flavia murmured. “It’s almost too awful to fathom.”
“Isn’t it possible,” I interjected, attempting to stay calm, “that the reason there is no record of us internalizing the Gateways is that we wanted to cover it up? I mean, we wouldn’t want people to know what we had done, right? We messed with the natural order of things. People would have protested. They would have spoken out. They wouldn’t have allowed it to continue.”
“So, you think we buried it? On purpose?” Hannah asked.
“It makes sense. History is written by the victors. We wrote it out of our history to protect the Gateways… and probably ourselves,” I said.
Flavia looked deeply uncomfortable with this notion, and of course I knew why. History and documentation were the foundations of her life work. The idea that she might not be able to trust the written history of Durupinen lore meant those foundations were nothing more than dust.
“If, as Agnes said, the Durupinen knew there might come a time when the Gateways would become endangered, it makes sense that they would have a system in place to fix it—a kind of failsafe,” Finn said, rising from the floor and pacing over to the window and gazing out of it thoughtfully. “It also makes sense that they would impart the truth not just to a single person, but to several people. It keeps the truth from becoming lost, as it could if a single person were the sole depository of such knowledge. It’s like keeping spare keys to your home and making sure others you trust have a copy.”
“That’s an appropriate comparison because ‘keys’ is exactly the word that Agnes used. It also protects the knowledge from being misused,” I added. “What if, say, only the High Priestess of the International High Council knew, and she didn’t want to reveal the truth for some reason? This way, there are two others to keep her in check and ensure that the truth comes out so that the crisis can be addressed.”
“But what is the crisis?” Hannah asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “What are we actually facing here? I’m still not sure what’s going on, and Agnes didn’t explain it very well, did she?”
“We know enough to know that something really dangerous is happening,” I said, feeling my frustration rise again. Why was no one else grasping the urgency of the situation? “Agnes said that one day, removing the power from the Geatgrimas would cause them to collapse. That must be what’s happening now.”
“But what does it mean for the Gateways if the Geatgrima collapses? They don’t contain the Gateways anymore, so why does it matter?” asked Milo.
“I don’t know. But it must be a bad thing, or Agnes wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble to warn me about it,” I said.
“And what was the thing she said about Sentinels?” Milo jumped in. “Because that sounded fairly ominous.”
“The Sentinels have begun their watch,” Finn replied before I could answer.
They all began to talk over each other.
“Who are the Sentinels?”
“Do you think she’s talking about Savvy?”
“If she is, then there must be others, right? Sentinels, plural.”
“And what happens if—?”
“I DON’T KNOW!” I shrieked, and everyone fell silent again, looking shocked. “I don’t have the answers to any of these questions! I’m working in the dark here! I’ve only got the instructions she gave me, and nothing else. And maybe it sounds insane to run with this on the word of a woman who’s been dead for hundreds of years and who I may have only dreamed a conversation with, but I know what I have to do. And if I have to do it myself, I will, but it would be a hell of a lot easier if you stopped asking me questions I have no way of answering and started helping me figure out how in the world we’re going to do this!”
Finn was across the room before I’d even finished speaking. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me together at the exact moment I was sure I would come flying apart. “You’re absolutely right, love. I’m sorry. Take a deep breath. Please understand we are just trying to catch up—just trying to process it all. We’re going to help you, of course we are.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Milo said. “We’re here, Jess, just like always. Whatever you need.”
“Of course,” Flavia added swiftly.
“At your disposal,” Kiernan said with a respectful nod.
Hannah gave a little whimper but nodded as well.
“But you believe me? You believe that Agnes told me the truth?” I asked.
“Yes, we believe you,” Finn said at once, staring down each of the others until they nodded. “And I know you’re eager to get started. I agree, there is little time to be wasted. But our first steps must be carefully planned, or you do Agnes a great disservice. She waited in the Rift for you for centuries. You can manage a few hours of rest and preparation to carry out her instructions, starting with a decent meal.”
I felt all the fight drain out of me. “I… yeah, okay,” I said with a sigh. The moment I allowed myself to think of food, I realized how ravenously hungry I was. And still quite thirsty.
“Let’s all have something to eat,” Flavia said, glancing at her watch. “I don’t think they will have quite cleaned up from dinner yet. And then, after we’ve all gotten a little sleep, let’s set to work, figuring out what to do next.”
No one dared to answer her, all looking to me for permission to agree to this plan. I nodded wearily, and it was with a collective si
gh of relief that everyone stood up, stretched, and began hunting around the room for shoes and other personal belongings so they could go downstairs. I realized they were all in the same clothes they’d been in when I’d first entered the Rift.
“Thank you, guys,” I said. My voice was quiet, but everyone froze in what they were doing to look at me. “Thanks for staying with me and for keeping me safe while I was… down there, or whatever. I’m sorry you were all so stressed out. I didn’t mean to freak out on you. I’m just… that experience was intense, and I woke up feeling really anxious. It’s all a lot to process. I’m glad you’re here to help me do it.”
Finn gave my hand a squeeze. Kiernan and Flavia smiled and nodded. Milo shrugged and muttered, “Obviously.” Only Hannah said nothing, staring down at her own hands in her lap.
“I… think I’m going to stay here and go to sleep,” she said. “I don’t think I can eat anything.”
“Are you sure?” Milo asked, frowning at her.
“Yeah,” Hannah said. “I’m fine. Just… overwhelmed.”
“We’re all feeling that,” Flavia said.
“We’ll bring you back a sandwich, shall we, in case you change your mind?” Kiernan asked, looking at her with concern.
Hannah gave a bewildered sort of shrug and disappeared into the bathroom. For a moment, I considered going after her, but my stomach gave a rumbling growl, and I decided I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“See you in a bit,” I called and, when she didn’t reply, closed the door between us.
3
Promises
“JESSICA!”
I’d barely taken ten steps down the hallway when the voice rang out behind me. I turned to see Karen hurrying toward us, her face twisted in concern, with a paper bag tucked under her arm.
“Karen! Hi!” I cried out, my voice a bit shrill in my surprise. I threw a panicked glance at Finn, but all he could do was return it. What did Karen know? Had Hannah filled her in on what was happening while I was unconscious for two days? How much should I tell her? Luckily, though, her next words took the edge off my anxiety.
“How are you feeling, honey? Hannah filled me in, about the stomach bug. Here, I picked up some stuff for you in London.”
She thrust the bag toward me. I took it and peered into the top. I spotted some Gatorade, a box of saltine crackers, and a take-out container of chicken broth. I expelled a breath and tried to muster a smile for Karen. “That’s great, thanks, Karen. I’m… starting to feel a bit better. In fact, I was headed down to the dining room for some dinner.”
Karen reached out and laid the back of her hand first against my cheek, then against my forehead. “Don’t push yourself, Jess. You still look flushed. You haven’t been running a fever, have you?”
“No, no fever,” I said quickly. “I’ll uh… I’ll try some of these crackers and soup before I move on to anything heavier.”
Karen gave a nod, apparently satisfied that I wasn’t on my way downstairs to gorge myself on a five-course meal. “Where’s Hannah? She hasn’t caught it, has she? Those viruses are terribly contagious.”
“No, she’s just… uh… catching up on some work for the Council,” I said. “I’m sure she’ll be down to eat in a bit. So, um… thanks, and I’ll see you later, okay?”
I turned to go, but Karen reached out and caught my sleeve. “Jess, hang on. That’s not the only reason I came to find you.” She pulled me away from the rest of the group, the rest of whom hung back awkwardly.
For the first time since she appeared in the hallway, I really looked at Karen. Her usually flawless make-up was not enough to mask how truly awful she looked. She was pale and drawn, with deep shadows under her red-rimmed eyes.
“Karen, is everything okay?” I asked her, wondering if it was even possible for me to process any more bad news.
Karen’s face gave a strange, spastic twitch before she was able to compose it and answer. “Yes… don’t worry… it’s just… well, it’s your grandfather, honey. He’s passed away.”
I blinked. For an embarrassingly long moment, I felt absolutely nothing at all. The words were empty, meaningless. And then…
“He… he finally went back,” I whispered.
I’d spent time with my grandfather several times over the last five years, but I’d never met him—not really. Many years before, he had interrupted Karen and my mother during a Crossing with devastating results. Unable to resist the lure of the Gateway, his soul was partially pulled from his body, and he was never right again. Desperate to return to the glimpse of the Aether his soul had managed to get before it returned to his body, he had lived the rest of his life lost in a dream of anticipation, wanting nothing more than to Cross.
I had once asked Karen, as we drove away from the nursing home, “Did you ever consider just… letting him go?”
I thought she might think I was some kind of monster for even suggesting it, but she didn’t. She nodded very seriously before replying, “Yes. Many times. But the thought of ending a life… I could never face it. I suppose he managed to get that much of his religion into me.”
She gave me the same sad smile now that she had given me then. “Yes. He’s finally gone back.”
“What happened?”
“Old age, it seems. The nurses said that he went in his sleep, peacefully.”
I nodded. Surely it was the first peace he’d felt since the moment his soul had touched the Aether all those years ago. “I’m so sorry, Karen.”
“Me, too,” Karen said. “He was the only family I had left, the last link to that part of my life. It wasn’t a happy childhood, or a simple one, but it was mine, and I was grateful for a lot of what he was able to give to me. I’ve felt so terribly guilty over the past few months, choosing to move here. It felt like I was abandoning him. I was trying to sort out the legalities of bringing him over to be with me, but that’s all over now, of course.”
“Don’t feel guilty, Karen. He’s been gone for a long time. He would have wanted you to make the decisions that were right for you and your life. I don’t believe for a second that he would have begrudged you the chance to be closer to Hannah and me.” I reached out and squeezed her hand. “Because he wasn’t the only family you had left, remember?”
Karen smiled, her eyes brimming over with tears. I pulled her in for a long hug, stroking her hair, hoping she could pull a little comfort from knowing that she still had Hannah and me. She hugged me back, her shoulders shaking as she wept silently. Flavia, Finn, Milo, and Kiernan stood quietly by, each keeping their eyes down, trying to make themselves as unobtrusive as possible so as not to intrude on the family moment.
At last, Karen pulled back, laying a hand on my cheek and patting it tenderly. “You really are just like your mother sometimes, Jess. She always knew exactly what I needed to hear when I was upset. You have that gift, too.”
I shrugged off the compliment awkwardly before asking, “So does this mean you need to go back to the States?”
Karen gave a sniff and nodded. “Yes, I’ll need to make all of the necessary arrangements—funeral and burial and estate, all of that will need to be sorted.”
I felt a faint flutter of panic in my stomach. “Karen, I… do you need help? Only I’m not sure that I can leave right now with—”
But Karen was already shaking her head. “No, honey. I appreciate the thought, but I know Fiona needs you here right now.”
“Right,” I said quickly. “Right, Fiona. Yeah, I can’t really leave her alone right now.”
“And I’m sure you want to be close by for Savannah as well,” Karen said, her expression clouding over again. “Hannah’s told me what happened. Has the Council had any luck at all figuring out what’s going on?”
“No, not that I know of,” I answered. “We’re all just waiting.”
Karen frowned. “I hope Celeste will come to her senses and call in the International High Council. I understand why she’s hesitant, but it’s all just too strange not
to report it.” She reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “I’m sorry to heap this news about your grandfather on top of your concern for your friend. Are you sure you’ll be all right while I’m gone?”
I mustered a smile. “Don’t worry about me, Karen. I’ve got Finn and Hannah and Milo here with me. Whatever is going on with Savvy, I’m sure the Council will figure it out soon. It will be okay. It has to be.”
“Yes,” Karen agreed, though the smile she gave me seemed forced. “Yes, I’m sure you’re right. Well, I’ve got some packing to do, so I’m going to head to my room. I’ll be there if you need me. Maybe stop by later for a cup of tea, if you’re up for it?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, if I’m up for it.”
Karen gave me one last hug and, with a friendly nod to the others, walked away in the direction of her room.
“Jess, love, I’m so sorry,” Finn said, stepping forward and slipping his hand into mine. Milo, Flavia, and Kiernan added their murmured condolences.
“It’s okay,” I told them. “Really it is. I’m fine. It’s much better that he’s at peace now.” It was also much better than Karen was going to be distracted and away from Fairhaven over the next couple of weeks, I added silently. I felt like an asshole even thinking it, but I wasn’t ready to tell Karen what Agnes had revealed to me, and it would be much easier figuring out how to carry out her orders without Karen hovering like an overprotective hummingbird, questioning my every move. I was breaking my recent promise to be more open and honest with her, but I preferred the guilt to the responsibility of having yet another person in on this devastating secret I was now tasked with carrying.
No one spoke much as we ate dinner in the dining room that night. Our mouths were very busy being crammed with food, of course, and anyway, we couldn’t discuss the events of the Rifting for fear of being overheard. A few people came over to greet both Flavia and me, asking how we were feeling and expressing their happiness at seeing us up and about again. We smiled and made small talk, eager to confirm the cover story Hannah had concocted for us. Then we all headed off in our separate directions, Finn and Kiernan to the barracks, Flavia to her own room, and Milo to the central courtyard, where he promised to continue his vigil for Savvy.