by LeAnn Mason
Ugh. Jason.
“No, dear. I’m not telepathic, but I can imagine your questions. I’m happy to answer what I can, and what I cannot, we have additional resources we can tap.”
“What do you mean?” My interest piqued, my attention once again on my great-aunt. I wanted to learn it all. Ignorance could get me killed. Especially if—when—Seth came for me again. At that thought, I realized I’d need to accept a tutor or whatever other means of magical learning they deemed necessary.
“I will not have much accurate knowledge on being a Shifter, seeing as I have no personal experience. I can tell you facts that we know in general about the other races, but I probably will not have all the answers.” When my smile slipped, she quickly reassured me. “We have ways to find those answers, though. Grimm Hollow is full of resources.”
“Like what?”
“Like the Archives and the Elders.”
“The Archives?” That sounded intriguing. “Can anyone go there?” I’d done a lot of independent learning through trips to my school library and talks with Mae. It had been my only time away from the coven and out of the house. I’d relished those quiet, learning moments.
“You can submit a request, which will be reviewed and either approved or denied.”
“What gets denied?” Maybe information didn’t flow quite as freely as Elsie wanted me to believe.
“There is some sensitive information that cannot be distributed to any but those with the highest authority, like the Elders.”
“Why?”
She leveled a sage look at me before she answered. “Because it’s too dangerous to be out in the open. The spell that allows a Witch to become a Shifter, for example.”
Touché. Certainly one spell I wished wasn’t known. I’d miss Ebony if she wasn’t with me, but again, I’d have never known her, and she would still be free to live her life as a wild animal. She’d still be alive. She’d only been with me for a few days, but I’d miss her if she left. She’d grown on me.
“Does Seth have any family in Grimm Hollow? People who could still be loyal to him?” The thought punched me in the gut. Was Grimm Hollow really the safe space people were saying? Could Seth still get to me? Her non-committal eyebrow raise did nothing to assuage my fears. “Guess it’s a good thing that I’ll be learning how to defend myself then.”
“Don't let his age fool you. Jason is one of the best. I’m glad he will be teaching you. You’ll learn a lot from him. He’s so proficient. He’s known as The Hunter.”
“He's also an ass,” I mumbled. The comment was obviously louder than I intended, because my most-likely-going-deaf companion snort-laughed and agreed. Oops. “I need a job or something. Some way to make money and be able to contribute if not completely pay my own way.”
“You don't need to do that.” She tutted in disapproval, narrowing her eyes and throwing up a hand to stop my bubbling protest. “While you do not need to worry about it, I understand your want to. I do not know what all is entailed in Jason's training, but I don't believe you will be paid for training unless they accept you into the Sentinel ranks. The diner is usually a good spot to begin, or maybe I could work a favor and get you a spot in the Archives if you'd prefer.”
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I could handle a job which required me to be sweet and nice to people constantly. I felt like it would be beyond my meager peopling capabilities, at least with my current mindset. But the Archives… “You think I could work at the Archives? If that is a possibility, I’d like to look into it. If nothing else, it would be a great way to learn about the supernatural world.” I could be my own supernatural tutor. First on my reading list? Witches. I wanted to take Seth and his coven of abominations down.
“Let’s get you settled in. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be a big day for you.” Elsie pushed herself up from the creaking chair, setting it rocking as if one of her spirits occupied it. The sun was setting, but the fiery color only enhanced the shadow effect of the old woman as she scooted past me through the wide foyer and toward the quaint whitewashed kitchen. The bedrooms were located on the upper floor while the living spaces took up the ground level.
I trudged up the wooden stairs at a snail’s pace, figuring I’d unpack my possessions into my newest accommodations. It was quiet upstairs with Elsie down in the kitchen preparing dinner. I looked around the room, taking it all in. The walls were a silvery blue with white trim and the same grayish wood floors as were in the rest of the house. The bed situated in the center of the left wall, and a white nightstand with a white lamp on the left edge. A matching white dresser sat along the back wall next to the segmented window that looked out over an open yard. The woods could be seen further back. There were no fences or barriers.
Ebony at my side, looked out the window, too. She seemed to like the view, and though she’d prefer to be out in the nature that she saw, she didn’t seem as distressed as she had been while at Gloria’s. Maybe that had more to do with Gloria than being indoors? Whatever the reason, she seemed to like our new arrangement more than our last.
For now, I’d take comfort in that small fact. Who knew what tomorrow would bring?
CHAPTER 17
I howled in agony as fire once again raced through my veins. Elsie had been right. Today sucked, and it had only just begun.
“You need to let go, Allya. Trust your wolf. You’re fighting her, which is why this hurts so much. You’re doing this to yourself.” Jason’s words only fueled the annoyance coursing through my head, and I cursed his very existence as I attempted to push through the pain and actually achieve a shift, my first shift to wolf form. That’s what we were attempting, but it felt utterly impossible. Ebony panted in my head, taking what space I relinquished. Apparently, it wasn’t enough.
“I’m. Not. Fighting. Her,” I panted. Wiping sweat that dripped from my forehead, I glared at my “mentor.” He sucked at motivational speeches. Thus, his lack of achievement on my behalf. “You’ve had a wolf your whole life. You had time to get used to sharing your body and mind with an animal. This is all new for me, and it sure as hell was not my choice.”
I narrowed my eyes when Jason looked skyward, hands on hips, seeming to pray for patience. The asshat shouldn’t have taken on this responsibility if he wasn’t ready to actually teach me anything useful. Ebony seemed to prickle a little bit, too.
Finally, she had an appropriate reaction to being in the hunter’s presence: annoyance.
“Look. You’re right. I was born a Shifter. I love it. My animal and I are one. I don’t even think I always know which thoughts and reactions are his and which are mine. We’re so entwined. It’s different for Shifters, for true Shifters.” It wasn’t a pep-talk unless Jason talked down to me, so this one was right on par. “We don’t have another full being that we are sharing ourselves with. It’s more like a piece of myself. The more base, primal, and reactive parts of my mind and soul are Hunter’s, leaving the reasoning and logical aspects for me to decipher.”
He walked toward me, kneeling down to where I sat dejected in the dirt. The fire in my veins subsided along with my attempt to shift. “You are contending with a whole other consciousness, one that may fight your natural inclinations. You need to work on that trust. That fluidity. Become one, truly. Or, at least, like parts of a whole. Until then, I think you’re shifting will be very slow, and very painful.”
He rose gracefully to his full, impressive height, hair catching the light and shining a multitude of colors. It looked blonder at the moment, and his eyes had changed back to green when I wasn’t struggling. They’d been pretty gold while I attempted my shift.
“Ever heard the saying about the two wolves fighting inside of you?” he asked thoughtfully with a faraway look.
“Vaguely, why?”
“How were the shifts of the Witches you knew? What were their wolves like?” Jason asked conversationally. If he had a point, I didn’t know what it was.
“They’re all assholes.” I
thought about what I knew of the coven members other than that fact. “Uh, the wolves I saw were all nearly rabid. I made sure to be behind locked doors when at all possible. Though a coven member could heal me if there were any… incidents.” A low growl pulled me from my lingering haunts. I did a double-take when I realized Jason had backed up several feet and now paced the tree line like a caged beast, exactly what he was, wolf head on full display. The animal, visibly agitated had ears pinned and a snarl pulling back his black lips to expose very large—very sharp—teeth.
I didn’t approach. I wasn’t stupid. “Jason? You okay?” I wasn’t sure what had him riled up, so I sat and waited for him to respond.
It took a good few moments before he calmed enough to stop pacing. Hands once again on his slender, jean-clad hips, he turned to me, his golden eyes piercing me with the intensity I’d only seen once before in his human visage: after he’d saved me from Colin’s wrath and… attention.
“What about the proverb? Why did you ask me about it?” Maybe I’d get him back if I directed him, assuming that wasn’t what he was worked up about.
“Bad people beget bad wolves.” His eyes dimmed slightly with the words. With a shake of his head, the animal disappeared back inside his human half, waiting for another opportunity to show himself. Jason prowled slowly toward me, his gait slow and measured, completely predatory. His dark boots crunched the brittle, jewel-colored leaf debris as he approached me. “No one should be able to hurt you,” he murmured almost absently as he knelt before me again. His head cocked and eyes probing, just like his animal’s, and I started to understand what he meant about him being intertwined with his animal.
His almost vulnerable expression captivated me like nothing I’d ever experienced before. There were freckles I’d never noticed across his nose and cheeks—cheeks that were somehow both sharp and masculine. And those perfect bow lips. Wow. The man was gorgeous. Ebony panted at my elbow, just as enthralled as I seemed to be by this contradictory man. My hand reached out of its own accord to smooth the pinched lines of concern between his brows. My fingers trailed the smattering of freckles that added a little boyishness to his hardened face.
“What are you doing?” he whispered in a near pant, his eyes flaring golden once again. But he didn’t move away. In fact, I would have sworn that he was closer than he had been. Then, like a switch had been flipped, he blinked and reared backward—away from me and my straying hands—nearly falling on his butt. He didn’t, of course. That would have been way too uncoordinated for Jason. Even when off-kilter, he was graceful. I dropped my hand back to the dirt, dropping my eyes as well.
Well, that was mighty embarrassing. I blushed. So, what do I do when feeling ridiculously vulnerable? Throw that shield back up. “Was there a point to you dragging up painful mauling memories, or is that just something that you get a kick out of?” I snapped to cover my hurt. I just could not figure this dude out. I didn’t even want to anymore.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Al.
I so totally would.
“Uh, yeah.” Jason ran a rough hand through his short hair in frustration, or concentration. I wasn’t sure. We were only on the morning of my first day of training to make me a capable Shifter, but we were already floundering. It may have been a pointless attempt. I thought I just needed to get away from this crazy town and figure out my new self on my own.
Who knows what I could do better than me, right?
“Anyway, the point I was trying to make was the saying: There are two wolves fighting within you. One is darkness and despair. The other is lightness and good. Which wolf wins? Do you know the answer?”
“The one you feed,” I answered automatically. I’d heard the saying before. It was a famous one after all.
“That’s right. Do you know what that means?” Jason was back on his feet and several paces away from me. Back in teacher mode. Completely. Like the moment had never happened. Hell, maybe it hadn’t. I’d been a bit out of it lately.
“Um, that you will fall victim to either happiness or despair based on how you live your life, the choices made.”
He nodded, pacing again, his eyes pinned to the dirt as he moved, almost as if he forced himself to look nowhere else. At least, to not look at me. “Do you understand the implications that could have on a person who didn’t grow up with the animal inside of them? How a power struggle could corrupt the animal?”
I must have looked as perplexed as I felt, because he continued after a brief, measured look in my direction.
“If a wild animal loses itself and is forced into the body and mind of a hateful, deceitful man—a man who wants to dominate the animal, to rule him—he begins to lose himself. To become a true hateful beast as he is slowly devoured by the evil he is forced to endure.”
I scrambled to my feet, wiping dirt encrusted hands on my dark athletic shorts. “Holy… I never even thought about it. I mean, I never knew how it all worked. Where the animal came from… how? Are you telling me all those vile creatures I grew up with—they weren’t always like that? That the man made them… I don’t know… feral?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. A wolf is not evil. It is not even inherently dangerous on its own. They will choose to flee rather than fight if alone. Now that we know a living, breathing, adult wild wolf is bodily snuffed, to be irreparably entwined with dark Witches…” He shrugged. “I don’t believe that cohabitation and unity is their goal. I fear subjugation and submission of the animal are more likely. That would explain the slow and painful shifting, too.”
“What do you mean? Why would that affect how they shift?” I paced alongside him now, Ebony in line on my other side, all of us exhibiting our angst through stilted movements and tightly bunched muscles, to the point of pain. All of this information was pertinent. Both Ebony and I had a stake in what we learned. Hell, it would affect the rest of our lives now that they were one and the same.
“If the two souls are constantly fighting for dominance, there would always be an internal battle. Each wanting to take control, neither wishing to cede it.”
“Okay… I’m still not seeing the correlation. Wouldn’t a shift mean the animal has control?” Not sure why the stronger at the time just didn’t win out…
“Do you think that Seth would allow an animal to have control of his mind? Of his body?”
“Good point,” I conceded with a thoughtful head bob. Seth would never want to give up control. “So, why even bother with this ritual? Why gain an animal at all if it’s just going to fight you tooth and nail? Pun intended.” I pointed at Ebony with my verbal jab.
I swore she raised an unimpressed eyebrow at me. Do wolves have eyebrows? I halted my pacing and bent to examine the midnight creature keeping pace with me. She stood still, staring with what I could swear was boredom on her furry face.
“What are you doing?”
I bolted upright. I’d forgotten we weren’t alone. Whoops! “Uhh, checking something?” I couldn’t help the inflection that made the statement a question. I didn’t want to seem crazy. Especially now that I knew I wasn’t. Clearing my throat, I decided to expand. Confidently. “I was checking to see if I could tell whether wolves had eyebrows.”
Jason’s head swiveled between me and the air where Ebony stared at him, her golden eyes hooded and at half-mast. I rolled my eyes. Her long, pink tongue hung comically out the side of her open maw. “Sheesh, stop drooling, Wolfie.”
“You can still see her? Like, not feel her and know she’s there… but see her, like outside of yourself?” The thought seemed to worry him.
“Yep.” I popped the “p” as I rolled forward onto the balls of my feet, my thumbs hooked in the elastic waistband of my training shorts. I had no pockets, so I made do.
“Damn,” Jason cursed, his hands once again flying to rake through his shorn locks. “Okay. New goal. You need to work on feeling her, on sensing what she does. Get to where you feel her in everything that you do.”
“O-kay…
What exactly do you mean?” I looked back at Ebony, a shrug raising my shoulders. I had no idea why I kept looking to her, and I still had absolutely no idea why she was so freaking calm about all of this. I was still flipping out.
“Close your eyes,” he urged, going so far as to run his palm from my forehead to my chin to physically help me with the concept. Like it was a hard one to grasp. I rolled my eyes behind closed lids but didn’t open them. “Relax. Open your mind. Open your ears to the forest.”
He sounded far away, but the burning heat at my front informed me that he was still very close and making it hard to concentrate. Not only for me but for Ebony as well.
Down, girl!
“Could you back up a bit? You’re… distracting me.” Hopefully, I said that without blushing. I couldn’t be sure, because well, my eyes were closed. That flush of heat was present, so I probably was.
With an amused chuckle, the warmth receded. “See, you don’t need your eyes to know the truth.”
My eyes snapped open. “What t-truth?” I stuttered. Could he tell that I was attracted to him? Was I that freaking transparent? Oh, kill me now.
“Calm down and close those eyes, Red. We ain’t done.” I stared at him with narrowed eyes for another moment before conceding—again—and pinching my eyes closed. “Okay, feel the forest. Send your senses outward. Feel your wolf. Be the wolf,” he chanted like some kind of motivational guru. I resisted rolling my non-seeing eyes yet again.
Instead, I tried what he said. I felt around for Ebony. With me calm and compliant, she rushed to the fore of my mind. She was eager to take the lead, it seemed. The realization was like a slap to the face. I, too, suppressed the wolf. Trying to dominate her. Trying to retain control.
What do you… see? Uh, I dunno, feel? Okay, I feel kinda dumb.
But then, I heard… everything. Birds chirped and tittered further back in the trees. The ones resting up higher were unconcerned with our presence and continued their songs. The light breeze shifted the fallen leaves, causing a dry rustling. The tangy scent of tree sap and crushed grass carried to my nose. I felt the air brush against the right side of my body but heard a twig snap ahead of me, maybe to the left? That noise put us on alert, senses homing in to discover the threat.